Missing In Action (male reader X Princess Luna)

March 18, 2565, 09:56 hours

Canterlot Castle, Equestria

You woke up later than usual, and to a wet dream, but that didn't surprise you at all, especially what your idea was. You headed over to the kitchen part of the castle to look for something to eat. You couldn't find any meat because apparently the Equestrians are vegetarians (well no shit, they are just human horses). You settled for a bagel, and after eating it, you decided to go hunting. You made yourself promise not to kill anything sentient because that was messed up. After walking for a few hours, you ended up in a place called the Everfree Forest. It was feared by the Equestrians because the climate and habitat are uncontrollable. For you, that means it's just a normal forest. Earlier before you left the castle Celestia and Luna had to leave to Ponyville to handle some business. After walking for thirty minutes, you heard a growl. You identified it as a wolf. You armed your rifle and went to find it. Little did you know these "Wolves" where the reason Celestia and Luna had to go. When you saw the wolf, you got extremely pissed off.

"Why the fuck are they made of wood?!? How am I supposed to eat that?!?" You said to yourself. But the wooden wolf heard your rage and pounced on you. While it was midair you pulled the trigger on your rifle. Thanks to the silencer on it, the rifle only made a small sound, as the wolf fell to pieces. Then, out of nowhere, another wolf pounced on you and pinned you down. You knew that if you didn't move fast, the wolf's pack-mates would come and finish you off. In one swift motion you drew your combat knife and decapitated the wolf. Then you turned around and shot the next wolf that was coming. After killing three more wolves, you gave up on using your sniper rifle, which was not designed for CQC. You did a back-flip on to another wolf and stabbed it with your knife. Then you jumped from dead wolf to live one, killing it, then repeating the process. After killing about thirty in total, you stepped back to see all the dead bodies, while sheathing your knife. Suddenly, the remains of the wolves started to glow, and they came together to make a huge alpha wolf. While it was roaring, you reached for your belt, grabbed a frag grenade, pulled the pin, then tossed it into its mouth. Withing three seconds you jumped to the floor as the wolf exploded into a million splinters.
As you were standing up, you heard Celestia's voice saying, "the Timberwolves went that way!" When Celestia, Luna, and Twilight came into sight, they were surprised to see you.

"y/n?" Luna said. "I thought you were back at the castle."

"I was, but I left to go hunting for food," you said.

"We did come down here to deal with the Timberwolves," Celestia said. "But it looks like you resolved that issue."

As you all where on the train back to Canterlot (except for Twilight), Celestia asked "Why where you hunting, we have food at the castle?"

You responded with "that is because Humans are omnivores. We are able to eat vegetables, but we need meat as well or our bodies won't be as strong."

"That makes sense," Luna said. When you got back to the castle, Celestia offered to see if see could find anything that is good for consumption by you, and you and Luna started to plan on how to tell everyone you were in a relationship.

March 18, 2565, 11:23 hours

Canterlot Castle, Equestria

You and Luna where hanging out in your room. "So, how do you think we should tell everyone?" Luna asked.

"Well," you said, as your extremely logical mind went to work. "I think we should wait until tomorrow, when we have to go to that meeting in the Crystal Empire. And I just want only our friends to know. I don't want to attract the attention of the press."

"Of course," she said. "That sounds like a good idea."

...

You went to the castle's huge library, knowing that it is a quiet place. When you got there, you pulled out the malfunctioning communication chip and a few metal tools and got to work. It was hard to get it to work, and after two hours of nonstop working, you only got it to turn on. None of the functions worked. You were getting frustrated. If only there was a repair shop. They could have fixed it in thirty minutes. You heard the door open, and saw Celestia and her assistant, who helped them stay on schedule.

She noticed you and walked over. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"I am trying to get this stupid piece of shit to work, but it only will turn on." You said as you showed her.

"What if the device isn't the stupid one, but it's you because you're not taking the time to calm down?" She said. Her point was valid. So, for the next hour you calmed down and managed to get it to work.

"Fuck yeah!" You exclaimed quietly because you were in a library. Celestia walked over and looked at it. You pressed the power button and it turned it on. Then you clicked on the photos and saw that all your photos, memes, and videos where not erased during the process.

"Wow, that's cool," Celestia said. "We need to show that to Luna." You walked over to her room and knocked on her door. You knew she was asleep. Because she is mostly nocturnal, being the princess of night and all, she usually sleeps from 10:00 hours to 15:00 hours. After three minutes of waiting, she groggily opens the door.

"What do you two want?" She asked, obviously pissed because you woke her up.

"y/n has something to show you," Celestia said. You pulled out the chip, extended it to its full length, and turned it on.

"Wow, that actually got it to work?" Luna asked you.

"Yep," you said, as you went to play a video. You chose the first episode of Red vs Blue, turned the volume up, then played the episode.

After watching the whole thing, both of the sisters where surprised on how that happened. "How did that work?" They both said almost at the same time.

You told then you didn't know, you only fixed the motherboard to get it to turn on. After that, you headed back to your room to binge-watch the first season.