Taming Strange. Or: How I learned to stop worrying and make love in public

"BAAAAABE." Vinyl whined petulantly. "Do I really have to meet your parents?"

"Yes love it's important. Without my father I wouldn't have had the courage to do . . ." She reddened slightly. "What we did at the dance hall." Vinyl grinned widely. "You enjoyed our reconciliation didn't you?" She bumped Vinyl's hips with her own.

Vinyl winced at the memory, still slightly sore. "I did at first." They trotted up to the house and saw the wreckage scattered about the grounds.

Octavia had forgotten she left her parents in the middle of a domestic squabble. "Oh no! FATHER!" She galloped inside and Vinyl galloped after her. She lit her horn defensively not knowing what to expect. Octavia tore around corners seeing the utter destruction her mother had caused, and feeling worse and worse about getting her father in trouble. As she approached the master bedroom she heard an agonized cry from her father. She rounded the corner and shouted, "MON MÉRE N.- OH MY GOODNESS!" She immediately ducked back out of the room holding her hooves over her eyes.

Vinyl caught up with her and looked about in confusion. Babe what's wrong?! What's?" She looked into the room her mare had just fucked out of and saw the milf to end all milfs riding a rather well hung stallion. Her mouth hung open in awe and one weird slipped from her mouth. "Nice."

Octavia cried out in anguish. "WHY?! WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING!"

As it turns out after Octavia had galloped off to go be reconciled to her lover, her mother had spent the next several hours trying to murder her father. Eventually she cornered him in a closet and he managed to negotiate an alternative to being murdered. They would have another foal. They had then spent the rest of that night and the following day in bed. The agonized cry Octavia had heard was the tail end of round twelve.

Her father noticed Vinyl standing there and disconnected himself from his wife. "Ah you must be the source of my little filly's pining. Dearest! Bring brandy, we have guests!"

Her mother slurred. "Oui mon amour just let me find my hooves first."

Octavia cleared her throat to stop her mare from ogling her mother. Vinyl looked up and away blushing slightly. "Love this is my father Sir Roané Haycartes, and my mother Picturesque." They both bowed. "Father, mon mére, this is the love of my life Vinyl Scratch."

Vinyl tried to keep her cool at the introduction but her blush revealed her embarrassment. She stuck out a hoof. "Sup."

To the surprise of all Haycartes brohoofed it as proffered. "What?" He said in response to they're incredulity. "I work at a university. I know how the foals greet each other. Can't see what's wrong with bowing but so be it." He gave an odd look that Vinyl decided was a smile. "Vinyl, what do you prefer to drink?"

The unicorn was slightly taken aback. "Uuuh whiskey?" She wasn't sure what was going to happen with all this.

"Excellent. Dearest, drinks in the foyer?" He asked his wife.

"Semble délicieux." Picturesque cooed. Vinyl blushed at the use of the language of Prançe. Octavia pouted at Vinyl who again looked up and away. They assembled in the large foyer and Picturesque brought them each their preferred drink. Haycarte had his cider, Octavia her cognac, Vinyl was given a large glass of whiskey on the rocks and she had her wine. Vinyl had to try hard not to stare at the pegasus as she walked away.

Picturesque settled down beside her tower harp and Haycartes sat across from Vinyl in a large leather chair. Vinyl thought her mare would surely sit down next to her but instead she only kissed her horn and whispered. "Good luck love." She strutted over to her mother and sat down beside her.

"Good luck with what? Babe! Good luck with what?" Vinyl was very nervous. She looked and saw that Haycartes was staring intensely at her over steepled hooves, inspecting her, sizing her up as it were. Vinyl's eyes darted to and from his in expectation. He continued to stare until finally Vinyl shouted. "WHAT?"

Picturesque leaned over to her daughter. "Point Haycartes." Octavia rolled her eyes.

"So you're the one my daughter's been pining about then." He said over his still steepled hooves.

Vinyl looked at Octavia for a hint of what the fuck he was taking about. The cellist didn't move, she only sipped her cognac. Vinyl looked back to Haycartes. "Yeah?"

"And how did you meet?" He finally moved and sipped his cider.

Vinyl brightened slightly, taking this as a good sign. This was a question she knew how to answer. She drained half her whiskey. Haycartes, not that his expression showed it was impressed. "Oh she came to one of my shows. She actually saved my ass from the guards when my buddy's noise cancel spell fucked up."

Octavia leaned over to her mother. "Point Vinyl."

"And what do you do at these 'shows'?" He said, his voice still hard, almost accusatory.

"I'm a DJ." She stopped herself for a moment and her ears drooped almost imperceptibly. "I mean,I was until last night." She finished her whiskey.

"So you are unemployed then?" Roané said, putting down his cider.

"Point Haycartes." Octavia's mother smirked.

"Well I mean, I got a few bits saved up. We're actually planning to move to Ponyville so our expenses are about to go way down."

Octavia facehoofed. "Damnit Vinyl."

Haycartes sat bolt upright in his chair. "Then how will she attend the conservatory?" He asked, his voice raised.

Vinyl felt it would be appropriate to cringe and try to mollify his justified outrage, after all hadn't she told her mare not to quit, but her combative nature combined with damned good whiskey and the awkward nature of the conversation made her less accommodating. "She won't. She just quit a few hours ago." She smirked defiantly.

"Point Vinyl!" Picturesque whispered in surprise.

"And I suppose you had a hoof in that decision?" Haycartes asked, now openly accusing her.

"Nope." Vinyl said and sipped at the little bit of melted ice. "I even told her not to." She grinned half maliciously, half nostalgically. "She said quote." She put on a terrible Canterlot accent. "I've found the greatest musician in all of Equestria! Why do I need to go to music school?"

Picturesque had to stifle her chuckles. Octavia pouted angrily. "I do not sound like that."

Octavia's mother nudged her with a wing. "Oh yes you do! That was you to a T. Point Vinyl!" The pegasus was thoroughly enjoying the exchange. She flew over and refilled Vinyl's whiskey. The unicorn made a point of actively looking away this time. Octavia appreciated the gesture.

"And what will you two do in Ponyville." Haycartes continued his interrogation.

Vinyl again felt the call to be nice to the pony that had made her little Octavia, but years of party life caused her to take no shit from nopony. "Each other mostly." Octavia couldn't help but snicker to herself.

"Why did you quit your job at the club?" He asked over his cider unconcerned.

The former DJ stopped in the act of sipping her bitchin whiskey and sighed. She thought for a moment and answered. "Cause it's no way to live. Your daughter showed me that." She looked with a sad gratitude at her lover. Octavia blew her a kiss.

"So just to be clear here. You're a degenerate who was the cause, though not the instigator of my daughter quitting her lifelong dream of attending the Royal Canterlot Orchestral Conservatory. You've quit your job, and you're moving to a town neither of you are familiar with, with no plans for a career." He put on his most condescending look. "Did I leave anything out?"

Octavia snapped forward in her seat. "Oh no love don't. You've got options. Please Don't!"

Vinyl was done. He was absolutely right, but fuck him for saying it. She had only one hold card left and she played it. She stood up slowly, looking him right in the eye and said. "Yeah, you forgot the part where I fucked your daughter in front of two hundred ponies last night."

Octavia fell back dejected in her seat. "He wins." She sipped her cognac and waited for the horseshoe to drop.

Haycartes sat in stone silence for several seconds. Vinyl grinned with the shittiest of shit eating grins. She knew that this stallion was her lover's father, and that this argument would ruin holidays for the rest of their lives, but right now she didn't care. She'd won. She was giving up the club lifestyle, and she was sticking to one pony, but she would never take any shit off any pony.

Which is why it was very surprising when Vinyl saw a small grin creep into the corners of his mouth. He started to shake gently. Vinyl heard a very odd sound coming from him. It was like a cement mixer heard through a fan. Her father, the one she'd just dropped a huge bomb on, was laughing! It started as a low chuckle, then it grew into a full belly laugh. He laughed so hard that he fell out of his chair and fell to the floor still laughing.

Picturesque slowly rose and walked slowly with her elegant gait towards the unicorn. She spoke in a seductive voice. "Octavia. Either you marry this mare." She lifted Vinyl's muzzle with a wing tip to within an inch of her own. "Or I will."

Octavia snatched Vinyl bodily off her chair away from her mother, and held her like a foal holds a stuffed animal. "Elle est à moi! Obtenir le vôtre."

The conversation had stretched well into the evening and the two lovers retired to Octavia's old bedroom. Vinyl finally had a minute to breathe and asked. "Babe your wanna tell me what the fuck just happened?" Vinyl said in exasperation, too confused to be mad.

Octavia sighed. " My father is a great debater and he wanted to see if you could hold your own in an argument. You couldn't, but your comment about the-." Octavia cleared her throat. "Club incident." Vinyl grinned at the memory. "Won him over anyway. Suffice it to say he approves of us."

Vinyl's eyes went wide with realization. "You mean that was just 'does daddy like me' bullshit? Aww babe. BABE! Don't do that to me again."

Octavia cuddled up to her mare. "Oh Vinyl you did better than I expected, and don't think I didn't appreciate you being so sweet in front of my father." She brushed Vinyl's face with her tail teasingly.

"Cause when your mom said that shit I was scared I was gonna be in some fucked up foresome." Vinyl chuckled through a toothy grin. Octavia looked at her mare with the look of disbelieving horror one does when their lover suggest having sex with ones parents.

Vinyl noticed the horrified expression. "Yeah babe, see, that right there, that's why I was so freaked out." Octavia accepted this answer and snuggled in close to her mare. "Whew, nice save Vinyl." She thought to herself.

In the master bedroom the Lord and Lady of the house had just finished round thirteen. Picturesque snuggled up to her stallion, rubbing her cheek against his heaving chest. "Oh mon amour I'm so glad our little filly has found an amour of her own."

Haycartes took a sip of cider. "I dislike her mane."

"Apropos my love umm." Picturesque fiddled with her hooves. "Did you have any idea that Octavia was umm." She didn't know how to phrase the question.

"Of course. Bow tie. Cello. And besides." He held his mare close and kissed her head. "Nopony sighs like that unless a mare's involved."