Saccharine Arcadia

From there on, the days passed once again, turning into weeks and almost months. Rob found his time occupied with work, helping Vinyl, and occasionally helping up at the bar or visiting Aloe and Lotus. He’d even gone out with Redheart once or twice, but only when her shifts fell right. It was hard meeting up with her, as she was never working on the same time scale as he was.

There was a freak period of snow during those weeks, which the pegasi needed to bring in, despite everyone’s complaints, but otherwise, things ran like clockwork. Twilight had taken to teaching Rob more about his magic, and decided that the snowy days were an excellent excuse to have double length lectures, much to Rob’s disdain.

Things had started off like a refresher course, similar to how Celestia had taught him back on the ride up to Canterlot. He was told to find the wealth of magic within himself and practice on constructing that. He was told that it didn’t really matter what he did there at that point, only that he needed to make it into a suitable and comforting environment. Rob had chosen beanbags; after all, nothing is more comfortable to sit on than a beanbag.

Seeing as he effectively had a beach resort thing going on, he chose to make use of the occasion, and eventually implemented palm trees and a hammock too. He was fairly satisfied with himself until Twilight told him that two palm trees, one hammock and an assorted number of beanbags did not constitute as a comfortable magical environment. He opted to disagree, which as it turned out, was a bad idea. Twilight took teaching seriously, and extended the lecture for another two hours. Rob was not happy with that.

After a few more days of training, Rob found it easier to shift into himself, and it didn’t waste as much time as before when the lessons started. After the forceful uprooting of his desert island paradise, he had built himself a beautiful oriental themed home on the waterfront. It looked like a temple, and even came complete with a courtyard.

Using the water from a small estuary on the shore, he’d also created a Japanese water garden that he found himself quite proud of. With Twilight’s aid, he even managed to populate it with fish. He grew to love his creation pretty quickly, and became possessive and childish when Twilight asked him to tear it down and build a new one. Instead, he decided to simply add an east and a west wing to the original building. He was then satisfied, and so was Twilight.

The next week focussed on manifesting the magic in the physical realm, and according to Twilight and the occasional mind-visit from Celestia, this was a much harder ordeal, as it focussed on using the mental plane where his well was, as a bridge between the raw magic and the real application. According to Celestia, there was a hierarchy when it came to elemental magic, and fire was at the bottom. It was the closest to raw energy, and as such, needed the least conversion, allowing it to be used relatively untamed.

His task, as he chose to accept it, was to light all the candles in the library whenever Twilight asked him to. He was told to try and get quicker at doing it, and not miss. This rule was made especially clear once he set the tablecloth on fire by accident. To start with, he found himself struggling to light even one candle, but soon he got the hang of it, and by the end of that week, he was able to light a few candles in different locations at once. He did get cocky at one point and try sending one of Twilight’s friendship reports by fire, only to find out that only dragon fire sends things, and all his does was incinerate them. She was not happy.

Week three eventually came around, and with it, the first rays of sunshine in a long time. Using the melting snow as aid, Twilight decided to start Rob off on a second element. She was tired of him setting things on fire, and figured teaching him a counter measure would be more appropriate than simply babysitting him the whole time. Apparently water was the next easiest thing to learn anyway, according to Celestia at least, and as long as it was already there, manipulating it was easy. Things became hard when you had to create it out of the moisture in the air. Apparently that took a lot of practise and Rob was a fair way off yet, although, as Twilight had mentioned many times; she was not an expert in elemental magic – very far off in fact, and she was basically going on what she’d read with the aid of the princess.

Rob found using the snow fairly easy, as they had all predicted, but no matter how hard he tried, he could not coalesce water at will, once again; as they had predicted. It didn’t stop him from trying though, and the result turned out to be raptures of laughter from Twilight and Celestia. The former was ok, as he could simply walk away, but with Celestia in his head, there was no escape. The mocking followed him wherever he went. At one point, the dear old princess of the sun had even seen it fit to invite her sister over for a casual bit of mocking, much to Rob’s annoyance.

It wasn’t so funny when he constructed perfect snow replicas of both of them, and then proceeded to set them on fire. They didn’t like that very much, and a few passing ponies looked rather concerned too.

Once the mocking was over, Rob had knuckled back down and got to practising. He found a good way of doing things, and eventually had a routine going on. That was, until the snow had fully melted and he was restricted to practising in the bathroom, something Twilight had quickly worked into a cleaning task as well. Rob noticed a slight sadistic side to the purple mare, but let it go, seeing as she was both his teacher and his lodger.

His training was moving along fairly fast, and for once, honest words were said; coming from the mouth of Celestia no less. According to her, he was doing well. Rob took that as a sign that things were going according to plan, and allowed himself a little pat on the back. He felt good about his accomplishments.

It was at the end of week three that things started to change…

Ponyville Library:

“What!? No! Now is hardly the time for this!”

“Awww, come on! It’ll be fun! Just like old times! You did miss my birthday party…”

“There were no old times! You were nice to me and I… just hid away and studied. Anyway, you just wanna see him!”

“That doesn’t change anything, I forgive you, and… I’m coming in! Trust me, this’ll be good!”

“W-what!? Don’t just do what you please! Hey, get back here!”

Rob exited the shower to the sound of voices downstairs - more accurately; shouting. Aside from Twilight’s, there was a voice he recognised, but couldn’t place. He shrugged it off and let his mind wander, thinking of all the potential owners of the voice as he went pacing back into his room on the top floor to get dressed. He passed Spike on the way and said good morning to him as he dusted a lampshade. The little dragon nodded back and got about his business.

He looked out of the window at the slowly dimming light. Today had been a lazy day. With the sun setting earlier, and Rob getting up later, he had finally ventured out of his bedroom during the late afternoon, early evening border. He figured that before his magic lesson he should at least shower, and so, he’d dragged himself out of bed.

Slipping into another one of Celestia’s premade t-shirt and jean combinations, Rob looked himself over in the mirror. It was amazing how the princess had found out the kind of things he liked to wear. A few months ago he’d have questioned how anyone could have such information, but now, it didn’t even faze him. He scraped the hair away from his eyes and left the room, a damn sight cleaner than he was the last time.

“How do you know what I like to wear?”

“Intuition.”

“Bullshit.”

“Fine, I was spying on you again. Feel better now?”

“Actually… yeah, a little bit.”

“Well that’s surprising.”

“It is, isn’t it? Anyhow, I feel sorry for you too. You’ve been spying on me this whole time, there is no telling what creepy things you’ve seen me do…”

“Let’s not go there, deal?”

“Deal.”

Once again, he heard the voices from downstairs, and figured that instead of guessing, it was simply easier to go and investigate the source. He headed for the staircase and went down it, proceeding into the main living area of the library. Before he reached the bottom though, his path was obstructed.

He had to admit, he was shocked to see the pony at the bottom of the stairs waiting for him, looking up with a big smile on her face.

“Arc!” The mare called, as she leapt at his chest without warning, prompting him to stick his arms out.

“M-Moondancer!?” The human managed to cough out, before catching the mare in his arms and descending the last few steps into the library.

He looked down at the lump in his arms and found his gaze meeting two shining orbs, obscured a little by a crimson mane. “You remember me!” She wriggled a bit and he put her down, catching a confused gaze from Twilight as he did. He mirrored her and shrugged. It seemed as if they were both as confused as each other.

“Well yeah… It was only a couple of weeks ago that we last met…” He motioned towards Twilight, finding it hard to get a message across with Moondancer’s eyes fixated on him. “I mean… I ugh… do-…” He exhaled, “Why are you here?” He tilted his head in confusion.

“Twilight invited me to stay! Remember?” She smiled up at him. “And now was a good time for me!” She sweetly smiled again.

Stomping a hoof, Twilight walked over to her friend, “Yes, it might have been. But now might not be a good time for us you know?” She gave her friend a stern look.

“Is there a problem?” Moondancer turned to her friend and spoke, a sly smile on her face. “You did offer after all…?” She began to hum gently to herself, a cheerful tune.

Looking dejected, Twilight sighed. “I… I did, didn’t I…?” She hung her head low.

“Heh, cheeky gal.”

“So, Moondancer, how long are you staying in my- our humble abode?” Rob asked with a mocking grin on his face as he looked at Twilight, who just pouted and walked into the kitchen to make drinks.

“I was thinking of staying for an undefined period!”

“An… undefined period?” Rob raised his eyebrow and leant against the wall.

She only nodded in response. The human looked behind her. “You have no luggage.” He said it in a rather monotone way, more as a fact than a question.

“Nope!”

“And no… actual clue what you’re doing either… right?”

“Nope!”

Rob knelt down to her height. “Well, we’re off to a good start I suppose.” He rubbed her head and she nuzzled into him, taking care not to gore him with her horn. “Well, better than nothing.” Standing up, he walked into the kitchen to find Twilight, with Moondancer in tow. He looked at Twilight, who was just picking up a tray with some drinks on it with her magic. She nudged past them without a word and settled herself down in the living room, sitting on a sofa facing away from the main door.

The two moved back into the previous room and took a seat, looking at Twilight who had an unreadable face showing. Levitating a drink to each of them, she began, “Moondancer,” She looked at her friend before her serious façade fell and she sighed, smiling gently, “I just wish you would have called beforehand…”

With the mood a little lighter than it was before, Moondancer rubber her head as her ears lay flat. “Sorry… I got a bit carried away.” She leant forward, “I can stay though, right?” There was a jubilant shiver in her voice.

“Yeah, you can stay.” Rob butted in, earning a scowl from Twilight, who eventually nodded her head in agreement with his outburst. He continued, “Twi’s got a bed in her room going spare I think, and if you girls wanna do… late night girly things then; Spike can crash with me. I like the little guy.”

“That sounds like a great idea! After all, the last slumber party I had went… strangely. There were too many trees… This will be a time to do it right!” The purple unicorn clapped her hooves together excitedly as Rob sipped at his drink, watching her smile excitedly.

Moondancer shifted a little and placed her cup on the table. “I… I was actually hoping to spend the night with Mr Arc…”

The sound of two drinks being spat out simultaneously echoed through the room, as both Rob and Twilight turned to face the white mare, who was smiling as innocently as ever.

“You really can’t spend the night with me, gal! There’s not enough room for one, and…” Arc looked over to Twilight who was glaring again, her eyes letting him know that if he said one wrong thing, there would be hell to pay. “And… just… no!”

“The bad thing is… I… I really don’t mind that much… She is cute… Damnit penis.”

“Arc is right, Moondancer. That is SO not proper conduct.” Her temper had calmed once again, and Rob was impressed that she could keep it in check as well as she did. “Besides, the sleepover book says that boys aren’t allowed.” She thought for a moment, “Well, I did have one book about boy and girl slumber parties but… I didn’t have any ‘protection’ as the book called it. I don’t even know what I’m meant to be protecting...”

“Aaaand that’s a story for another day!” Rob cut in, trying to break Twilight out of her accidentally perverse line of thought. “Moondancer can sleep with you, Twi, and you can do your sleepover thing…” He looked at them both, although, neither made any real effort to respond.

“I think tha-”

“That means I’ll just have to spend more time with you before bed time, Mr Arc! I want to know everything about you and what you’ve done! You’ll tell me everything, won’t you?” She batted her pleading eyes at him, cutting off Twilight from finishing her sentence.

“Yeah… enough with the ‘Mr’ thing already… I told you once before… not to mention many other ponies…” He looked at Moondancer and sighed. “What am I going to do with you…?”

“I can think of a few things…”

Rob coughed at her statement, forcing the blood back out of his cheeks. “What’s go you so interested in me anyway?” He peered at her curiously. “I mean… we’ve met once, nothing else. It’s not like you have any reason to be this curious.”

“I dunno… it must have just been love at first sight…” She let out a long breath and gazed at him; the same smile on her face as always.

“Love!?” Both Rob and Twilight called out at the same time, startling the white unicorn enough to fling her cup across the room with a brilliant display of impulse magic. Twilight continued, “N-no… you can’t love him!? There’s so many implications you’re not thinking of! Like, you barely know each other! And, you live in Canterlot and he lives here! And… you’re not human!” Her face was displaying a range of emotions, from confusion to anger. Rob wondered if this new revelation was causing some sort of breakdown within the unicorn.

“Y-yeah… what she said.” Rob timidly butted in, causing her to turn on him.

“And you! What do you have to say for yourself!?”

“Umm… I don’t really know actually. I’m at a loss.” He glanced over towards Moondancer, who sat there with her usual innocent smile. “I am highly confused, a little bit creeped out, and a fair bit flattered, so… I dunno what to think or say.”

“Take responsibility!” She was almost falling out of her seat.

“Sounds like…” Moondancer cut herself in, not giving a chance for Rob to answer Twilight. “You’re jealous.” She coughed daintily and closed her eyes calmly, waiting for Twilight to respond.

“J-jealous!? Are you crazy!?” Rob could only imagine the steam grinding off of the gears in Twilight’s head at that moment, scraping together to try and find any ounce of sense in the thick mist of confusion that had descended over her.

“She’s playing mind games with Twilight wonderfully. I don’t even think I could do that… Using that calm and demure attitude to wind her up…”

“Come on Twi, calm down, there’s just a misunderstanding of some kind here. Just settle down and we’ll sort it all out.” Rob tried to comfort the distressed mare.

Taking a moment to gather a deep breath, she sighed and collected herself. The room was quiet and only the padding footsteps of Spike upstairs could be heard. “Fine. Look, you’re free to like who you want, and do what you want. And it is great to see you, and… yes. You can stay for an… undefined period.” She smiled. “And sorry for the way I was acting. Having a lack of schedule really makes me kinda frantic.”

“Tick, tock, tick, tock…”

“Yay! So, I can stay! We’re going to have SO much fun!” Moondancer chirped up from her seat, mimicking Twilight’s hoof clapping from before.

Rob and Twilight shot each other nervous glances and looked at the white unicorn on the seat beside them. “Yeah… We sure are…”

“And so here I am, babysitting two children by the looks of it…”

“I feel for ya, Arc. I had to babysit my cousin once… Not fun. He cried and cried and cried.”

“Well, Vinyl, I don’t think I’ll be having that issue. If either of them cry, I’ll be very surprised.”

“You can only hope…”

“Please don’t joke…”

After setting up Moondancer with a place to stay, the trio had left Spike to clean, and headed to the bar, very much on Rob’s accord. Despite the obvious tension between them, Twilight and Moondancer reminisced on the journey over, telling tales from their life in the months they hadn’t send each other. Of course, Twilight had many more tales to share.

Moondancer had only passed her qualifications and got a job at a café, while Twilight had been off saving the world. The trip was fun for Rob too, as he got a more personal insight from Twilight, about the missions she’d been sent on and the things she’d learnt. It was nice to finally know about her life in more detail. Whenever he’d asked her, she’d only given him the facts, not her own personal thoughts on the matter.

Soon they had arrived at the bar, and it was immediately apparent that neither of the mares understood the concept of ‘bar etiquette’, well, what etiquette there was available to understand. They both looked daunted by the number of ponies in the bar, and Rob could see them shiver at the thought of spending so much time, with so many rowdy ponies. Rural old Ponyville was a step down from the high trade of Canterlot.

Rob however, was very well known by now; being called a regular even by Berry herself, who was busy serving drinks to a blue stallion across the bar. It wasn’t a busy night as such, but there were still a fair few ponies present, and Rob had customarily spoke greetings to them when he first arrived. The odd flagon and tankard were clashed and everyone got on with their merry business.

As the newly growing tradition seemed to dictate, Berry Pinch, the landlord’s daughter, had paid the human a visit. He liked her, and she liked him, despite the whole species gap. He loved how her innocence transcended the fact that he was a human and she was a pony. Currently, she was snoozing away on his lap while he chatted to Vinyl, keeping an eye on the two mares he brought along with him who were sipping at their drinks tentatively in the corner, looking very unsure about the whole ‘bar’ thing.

After making idle chat with Vinyl for a few minutes upon entry, and sitting down with her after ferrying drinks over to the two girls sitting behind him, Rob and the DJ went over to the table with Moondancer and Twilight on it and sat down, taking care not to throw his drink everywhere as he collapsed into the seat next to Moondancer. He was a fair sight better than his companion though, who had been drinking since the early afternoon, and sloshed her drink all down her front upon seating herself. Somehow, the little pony on his lap managed to remain asleep throughout the commotion of moving and falling.

“Twilight, you’re not that well acquainted with Vinyl, are you?” Rob asked the mare curiously, as she took another gulp of her drink in silence, her hooves clasped firmly around the wooden tankard as a semi-frown played upon her face.

“I’ve heard you mention her in your stories, but, no, not really. I only recently came to Ponyville too, remember?” She turned to Vinyl, as if brushing Rob aside, “Hello there, I’m Twilight Sparkle, and it’s a pleasure to meet you.” She extended her hoof with a pleasant smile on her face.

“Oh, I see how it is…”

“Heyya, Twi. Nice to meet’cha, but… you are way too formal for my liking, let’s get a stronger drink in you, whadda ya say?” She placed her foreleg around Twilight’s shoulders and pulled her close, leaving the unicorn feeling very confused. “Berry, a round of cider over here, cheers!” She called over the dense noise of the crowd.

“Well, that’s that.” Rob muttered to himself, looking up at the light through the dim tavern-like haze. “Anyhow, and this is Moondancer. We met her in Canterlot a few weeks ago when we were visiting. She used to go to school with Twilight.” He pointed to the mare next to him, who nodded her head gently and smiled.

“It’s my pleasure Miss Scratch.” She said in response to the introduction, before something dawned on her. Rob saw the look of realisation spread. “Wait… Miss Scratch, as in… Vinyl Scratch as in, the well-known wonderfully talented musician extraordinaire Vinyl Scratch!?” It was funny to watch her rise out of her seat a little, the longer her rant went on.

“The one and only, Moony, you got it!” Vinyl closed her eyes and flashed a cocky grin towards Rob. Something he shook off with a “Humph.” She faced him a little more, “You see, Arc, one little human is no match for the fame of someone like me!”

He reached out and poked her on the end of her muzzle, “And I didn’t know we invited Rainbow Dash to drink with us.” She looked confused. “Just you wait Miss Scratch, give it time; we’ll see who’s more popular.”

“Yeah! You just wait! Arc is amazing!” Moondancer called out, alerting everyone to her presence, her surprisingly loud voice cutting through the low tone of the bar. “He’s amazing and special, and oh so warm to cuddle! I just wanna-”

“And that’s enough out of you!” Rob nervously laughed to himself as he forcefully gagged the babbling pony and restrained her flailing forelegs. “She’s ugh… well… I don’t know actually.” He sighed, “A special one.” He laughed again as Vinyl and Twilight looked at each other, neither knowing what to say.

Vinyl watched on as Rob wrestled with the excited pony, not knowing exactly when to butt in. Another glance from Twilight prompted her to do so. “Ugh… looks like you’ve got yourself a fan, Arc.” He smiled at her as Moondancer clung to his arm in a strange spectacle of overfriendliness. “I… think you can let go of her now…”

“Yeah… That’s just it. I would but… she’s stuck.” He flailed his arm about while she clung to him.

“Stuck?” Twilight mirrored his words.

“Like… some kind of cute and furry leach.”

“Now that’s not something you hear every day…” Vinyl commented with another swig of her drink, draping her arm over the back of the bench behind her.

After calming Moondancer down from her ‘happy-fit’ and drinking the new round that Berry had brought by, the foursome found themselves happily chatting away. As it turned out, Twilight could not hold her drink, and Moondancer was even worse. That coupled with Vinyl already being wasted meant that Rob was dealing with three very rowdy mares. He wondered how Pinchy got any sleep at all.

At some point, Berry had collected her daughter, and retreated upstairs to put her to bed, returning after that to tend to the new flood of patrons arriving. Rob found that if before, Moondancer could be described as ‘clingy’, she was now ‘obsessive’, something Vinyl found highly amusing. Twilight on the other hand attempted to adopt a responsible mother-figure like stance, which failed miserably considering her state. It was amazing how quickly ponies got drunk.

Watching Twilight try to reprimand Moondancer for every inappropriate thing was hilarious, and Vinyl was in stitches every time it happened. Most of the time, Moondancer didn’t even realise what she’d said, due to her being such an airhead, and Twilight was telling her off for things she only heard because she was intoxicated. Rob found their comedy duo actually working fairly well. It was as if it had been choreographed.

Arc eventually found himself also passing the point of rational thinking, and he noticed that he was also joining in with the frivolities, something which eventually led to another shameful rendition of Queen’s ‘We Will Rock You’. Despite his fuzzy mind, he knew that it was something else he was going to regret in the morning. On the bright side, everyone seemed to remember the words from the last time, and so it involved little to no effort on his part.

The night began to pass and everyone was having a good time. Vinyl told stories of her college life, tales that likely would have made Twilight blush under normal circumstances, and Twilight let loose with some of her own… less interesting tales from Canterlot. Moondancer was the real dark horse of the night. Some of the things she spoke about even made Vinyl shy away. The more Rob got to know her, the more it seemed like she was a tap that you couldn’t turn off. If she got on something, she didn’t get off of it easily. Every little thing was an obsession, and she had a one track mind. He felt a shiver as he realised he was in her gaze.

“Yes, little one?” He spoke, turning to her as a large stallion pushed by behind him.

“I-I’m not that little…” She flopped over onto him extravagantly, resting her head in his lap, back where Pinchy had been only hours before.

“To me you are… you all are. Being small little pony things and all.”

She waited. “You look funny from down here!” She began to laugh.

“I bet I look funny from most places!” He stroked her soft mane.

“No… you look really good to me. Really, really good…” He felt a pang in his chest as he looked down at her half lidded eyes.

“T-thanks, Moondancer. You’re… quite pretty yourself.” He felt her quiver as his words reached her ears, which soon flopped back as a serene blush swept across her face.

“Call me Casanova Rob…”

“Can we go back to yo-” Her gentle voice was cut off by Twilight, who thumped the table next to Vinyl, spilling her drink everywhere, and began to shout.

“Arc, we’re going home! I have the weirdest urge to write a friendship report!” She swayed as she stood up, knocking into Vinyl who was mid-way through a drinking contest with a fabulously pink stallion.

The force in her voice pulled him away from Moondancer’s eyes and he looked up at her, trying to meet her gaze. It was tricky as both of them could barely see a foot in front of their own noses. Staggering out of the bench, Twilight did a few little jumps and commented to herself on the weird feeling of weightlessness before turning to Vinyl and saying a quick goodbye, in a brash and overly excited way.

The mare responded in turn and went back to downing shots, leaving the human and his two pony companions to themselves again. Shouting a quick thank you to Berry, Moondancer and Rob got up; the former finally relinquishing her place upon his lap, much to her annoyance. After a few more goodbyes to the various ponies at the bar, Rob patted Vinyl on the shoulder, ruffled her mane, and stole one of her shots, before grinning like an idiot and pushing his way out of the bar with the two unicorns closely in tow behind him.

He looked up at the starlit night and exhaled. “Aaah… fresh air. I could so go for something stupid and funny right about now.” He looked at the two unicorns. “Hey… you guys can do magic… I… I think I know what to do.” Twilight and Moondancer watched him dance on the spot as he looked around in the sky for something. “We just gotta find Rainbow Dash’s cloud house, and evaporate it!”

“That’s pure evil!” Twilight called out. “And if I stop you…” She grinned. “That’s the perfect thing for my friendship report!”

“Maniacal scheming! Wonderful! I love drunk-Twilight.”

“Indeed!” He turned to Moondancer who had gotten a strong case of the hiccups, “Shall we go my lady?” He extended his hand, trying to work out how she would decide to take it. Using one leg seemed like a stupid idea. He imagined her hopping home on only three legs.

She was just about to accept his proposal, reaching out with her hoof, when it was slapped away briskly. “Wait a moment! How come you get him!?” Twilight was looking at her friend with an angry glare. “I’ve known him longer!” She swayed on the stop.

“We’ve made a deep connection in these past few-”

“Few what? Hours!?” Twilight managed to slur out, shouting a bit too loudly.

“Twi, you’re getting the wrong end of the stick here… you realise what she’s saying… right?” Rob’s question was left unanswered as the girls continued to argue.

“You might look at it that way, but I’ve had him on my mind for a long time, much more that you have. You’ve only become this way since I arrived. Might there be something on your mind, Twi?” She looked at Twilight with a sly smile, clearly meaning to offend the girl.

“No, no- I just… Must get back and… write report…” Rob and Moondancer watched wide-eyed as Twilight collapsed onto the floor in front of them, her legs splayed out in all directions embarrassingly. Rob looked away, attempting to save some of the mare’s privacy.

The human quickly knelt down beside her and started to shake her shoulders, “Twilight, hey, get it together!” His concern quickly faded as the heard the small and calm intake of air flowing into her lungs. There was also a content smile on her face, and she looked at ease. His own fears were laid to rest. “She’s just tired… That’s good.” He looked up at Moondancer and thought. “I guess I’ll have to carry her.” The white unicorn looked less than pleased about the predicament.

Gently picking her up and cradling her in his arms, he and Moondancer began to plod back to the library in silence. The only sound made was that of their feet and hooves. At some point, Rob had noticed Moondancer brushing herself against his hips and curling her tail around his legs. The conflicted feelings within left him unable to do anything to stop her. He just continued walking; taking pleasure in what he felt was undeserved affection.

Eventually they reached the darkened library and let themselves in. Rob placed Twilight on the sofa before going upstairs to check on Spike, who had gone to bed hours earlier, and was sleeping peacefully in his basket. Feeling the alcohol wearing off, Rob proceeded back downstairs and into the kitchen. Reaching into the cupboards, he pulled out a couple of glasses and filled them with water, returning to the living room where Moondancer was gazing into the embers of a recently lit fire.

Making sure to be quiet, Rob shuffled past Twilight and handed a drink to Moondancer, who took it with her magic. Rob found it cute to watch her shaky grip coil around the glass as she brought it to her mouth. She was just about to take a sip when her magic slipped and the glass fell down to the floor, spilling the water as her magic dissipated into nothing. She fumbled to catch it, but she was too late.

Looking up at Rob with a quivering lip, she tugged on his trousers. He sat down next to her and placed his arm over her back, leaning against the other side of the sofa which Twilight was resting on. With an outstretched left hand, he prodded the embers of the fire again using the poker, and noticed as Moondancer’s magic levitated another log onto the newly birthing flames. He looked over to her as she looked up at him.

“You’re one big ball of confusing emotions, you know that?” He petted her head and found his fingers attracted to her soft ears. “A soft and very cute ball of emotions…”

“Sorry…”

“Don’t worry about it.” He pulled her closer and set his drink down to the side, reaching behind himself to grab two pillows off of the sofa near Twilight. “I know another girl here. She’s called Pinkie. You are not emotional in comparison to her… you’re… just about right.” He put the pillows next to the fire and picked Moondancer up, hugging her close to his chest as he lay down by the fire, rolling her on top of him.

“I um…” Her cheeks flushed red as they huddled together, propped up by the pillows next to the fire, the only sound in the room being that of their heartbeats and Twilight’s gentle breathing alongside the crackling flames. “I really do like you, you know…”

She could feel the beating of his heart as she pressed into him, and she felt its pace quicken as his eyes shied away. He looked… nervous if she could call it anything. She felt his hands begin caressing her mane once more. “Yeah… I understand.” He looked into her eyes. “You’ll have to wait for me though…” He sighed and hugged her more. “I’m just not there yet…”

“I know.” She smiled. “I can be serious sometimes… and… I get that.” She learnt forward and kissed him gently on the lips. “I’ll wait.”

Pulling back in surprise, he looked at her, his heart threatening to break out of his chest at any moment. “I’ve just gotta ask though… Why do you like me? What made me different from all the others? I’m human, you… shouldn’t give me a second glance.”

“That might just be the reason. Ever since I heard the stories of you back in Canterlot, you sounded pretty amazing. You saved a pony, and were friendly to everyone. Which… is a lot more that you can say about the other civilizations in this world… There was something important and special about you, and I think… I think I saw it before most.” She paused.

“And then you came to Canterlot. I was amazed. To think that the person in my mind was going to be walking past my very workplace… And then I met you. You were taller than I thought you would be, but… had a kind face and, well, a funny side! And what more is there to life than being happy…” She smiled at him, that saccharine look she always wore. “You were just more than I’d ever expected, and… I’m so happy that I came here. I made myself do it because I needed to know. And spending all of this time with you, which started off with me just wanting to prove my own feelings… all this time, you’ve made me have fun, and you’ve made things seem more meaningful than before. I’m just… so happy.”

She looked at his face and grinned, bringing a hoof up to wash away the wetness in her eyes. He looked speechless. “So you see…” She waited for a second. “That’s why.”

“I… wow. That’s… Aside from being a beautiful speech, that… I- I don’t know what to say… I feel like I’m letting you down…” She laughed as he stuttered out a response shakily, trying to avoid eye contact. She took pleasure in making it hard, by moving her face closer to his.

“It’s ok, Arc.” She kissed him again. “For now… let’s just sleep. I like it here, and I wanna stay close, so… just for tonight. Let’s stay together.”

He didn’t say another word, responding only by cupping her in his arms and turning to face the fire, laying them both on their sides. A little bit of wriggling and intertwining later, and they were both comfortable and settled, drifting off to a good night’s sleep. The last thing Rob saw as he fell asleep was the slowly dancing flames from the fire, licking up against the top of the hearth gently, as if they too, were drifting off into slumber.

Rob woke up feeling very cold on one side. He looked down to his chest and saw the still form of Moondancer clinging to him tightly. It was adorable how her hooves managed to curl themselves around his shirt, clutching at it tightly as she slept. He raised his free arm to rub the side of his face. The fire alongside Moondancer had kept part of him warm, but the other side was chilly an uncomfortable.

Brushing the sleep from his eyes, he looked out of the window, moaning a little as he noticed not even a shred of light peering through the glass. Carefully retrieving his arm back out from under Moondancer, he pushing himself to his feet and stood; looking the darkened room over.

Peering back over the sofa, Rob located Twilight, right where he had left her earlier that night. He placed a hand on her coat and shook his head. She was cold. Without waking her, he managed to walk around beside the sofa and lift her into his arms. Tiptoeing up the stairs, he made his way through the darkened home into her bedroom. Navigating around Spike who was gently snoring in his basket, Rob pulled back the covers on her bed, and laid her down. Pulling the covers back over her, he smiled and left to room, feeling forever thankful to her hospitality. He didn’t do much, but the little he could, he felt proud of.

Returning back downstairs, he repeated the same procedure with Moondancer, managing to successfully transport her from the floor by the fire, to Twilight’s spare bed. After making sure the two mares were ok, he left and headed back to his room, determined to make good use of the time awake, after all, he didn’t feel like sleeping anyway. There was just too much playing on his mind.

After changing his clothes, he threw a thicker jumper on and left his room via the less used door; the one that led to the balcony. With an audible click, the door pulled shut behind him, and he was alone, looking out over the dormant town of Ponyville. He let out a breath and watched as it condensed in front of his face, drifting up into the night without a care.

Staring out over the small town was truly peaceful. There was no light, and yet, he could still make out the shapes of all the buildings and landmarks. He laughed to himself, thinking about how the longer he spent there, the more he felt like he belonged. Once again, he thought back to Spike’s words, and remembered what he’d told Moondancer earlier that night;

“You’ll have to wait for me though… I’m just not there yet…”

Despite those feelings, he did feel like the world was slowly accepting him though, and that to him, was a good thing. He rubbed his nose and looked at the stars, silently thanking Luna for doing such a good job. Pulling himself away from his thoughts, he slumped back against the shut door behind him and eventually fell down to his ass, resting upon the cold wooden floor of the balcony.

The night watched on as Rob laid out his thoughts and feelings. There was just so much to consider. After what he believed to be a shocking encounter with Aloe and Lotus upon just arriving in Equestria, he had somewhat retreated from the idea of anything more than friendship, and yet, after only one day, Moondancer had replanted those seeds. Was it right for him to ignore them? He let the thought mull itself over in his head, but in the end, it was purely Mobius.

And then there were those he’d been neglecting. He could blame it on work and other commitments, but… it all boiled down to the fact that he should place more faith in his friends. Vinyl and Twilight got all of his attention, alongside Rose at work and now Moondancer. He immediately thought of Redheart and the spa twins, Rarity and Fluttershy; even Pinkie and Applejack. Rainbow Dash too. Aside from the odd chance encounter, he’d not seen them for days. True, they had occasionally popped over looking for Twilight, but that was just it; they came for Twilight, not him.

The few visits and encounters were fleeting, and that made him sad.

He wondered if he was reading too much into things, after all, it wasn’t like they’d come running to him either. Maybe this was just how normal life was in Equestria. He wanted to fit in, but he couldn’t help but feel like he owed those who made his journey there - that much more pleasant - a better deal.

The sun was still far from rising. Much like back on Earth, the winter days were short, and bitter. Slowly, he found himself getting colder. It looked like he wasn’t going to get any answers; instead, he was just becoming more conflicted. Deciding to take a break from one form of metal stress, he took a short while to focus on another. Closing his eyes, he let out a deep breath and slipped into as peaceful a state as his mind would allow. It was far from perfect but, he was sure he was getting better.

When he next opened his eyes, he found himself warm, standing back on his beach, right next to the ocean as always. It was a calm scene, and one he was becoming increasingly fonder of with each visit, which, thanks to Twilight’s training, was happening fairly frequently as of late.

He turned to find the house sitting right where he left it, butting up against the estuary which Twilight hated so much. He allowed himself a satisfied smirk, knowing that this was one of the few battles he had won. He quickly found himself smiling, recalling the look on her face; one of anger at how childish he could be – something which he found ironically childish in itself. It was only when Rob heard a cough that he stopped thinking and jumped, turning to face whomever had created the noise.

He should have guessed. Slouched in one of the hammocks was Celestia, sipping on what to Rob looked like piña colada, complete with a cocktail umbrella. Despite her disturbing presence, the human had to admit that it was nice to finally see her in her proper form, not as only a voice in his head again.

He even had to admit, that the way she was lying on her back, hooves flailing in the air, was adorable. It struck him as odd that the ruler of an entire nation could be classified so simply with one word like that; ‘adorable’. Even if he hadn’t found that concept weird, the fact that the one word he chose was something displaying cute affections was sure odd to him. Rulers were meant to be fierce, at least, he always thought so.

“Heyya.” He spoke to her, not knowing what else to say.

“Good morning, Arc.”

He deadpanned her, “So, you come here, and that’s all you have to say?”

“For the moment.” She took a few glugs of her drink. “I mean, come over here and sit with me. Spend some time with dear old Celestia.” She pouted at him, something to which he responded with a two fingered hand gesture.

“For one, I thought you were immortal, and so, ‘old’ really has no meaning with you, and two, the fuck are you doing?”

Celestia waited as the boy walked closer to her. “I wondered of you wanted some help with some things?” He stopped.

“Like… what?” He resumed walking, only at a slower pace than before. “Do forgive me but, anything you say, immediately leads to sexual connotations in my mind, and… I’m cautious of the fact that you probably haven’t gotten any in a few centuries…”

She smirked at him and put on that same pout from before, “Am I really the kind of pony to do something like that~?” She batted her eyelashes at him teasingly.

“I don’t even want to know what goes on in that dungeon of yours…”

“Don’t be like that. I was just doing my usual bit of soul searching, and noticed you a little down in the dumps. What’s up?”

Rob finally reached her and perched on the end of the hammock, swaying it slightly as he pushed back and forth against the ground. He took note of her rarely seen serious face. “Well, I’m just overthinking things, that’s all.”

“You seem worried about things though, starting off with that ‘Moondancer’ subject.”

“Did… did you just refer to a pony as a ‘subject’?”

“Oh, did I?” She looked up in thought. “Old habits die hard I guess.” Rob felt her eyes lock back on him. “But answer the question, Arc.”

He sighed. “Yeah, fine, she’s one of the issues.” His tone was snappy, but they both knew he put no effort into it.

“What happened?”

“Surely you know? You’re always spying on me, I’m surprised you didn’t watch the whole scene.”

“Not this time, Arc.”

“Well, I don’t wanna talk about it.” He paused. “Well, it’s not that I don’t only… I don’t know what to say yet. There aren’t any words fitting the situation; none that I can do justice with anyway.”

For one of the first times, Rob saw Celestia sigh. She finished drinking her piña colada and crushed the glass into nothing with her magic. “Just remember, Arc. Be you. I need you to remain true to yourself. Everyone has feelings but… don’t let them get in your way. Treat them as hurdles. Everyone has them; some just cope better than others. And you… well, from what I see? You go through highs and lows. It just so happens that you appear to be in a low at the moment. It can’t be helped, but throughout life, you learn to fight back. It comes with time, and you’ve only been alive for a few years, and you’ve been in Equestria an even shorter time than that; much, much shorter. Much is being thrown at you in a very short span of time, and it’s not giving you much tome to adapt to it. All I… no, all anyone can ask is that you try your best.”

Rob stared at her. “Was… was that your idea of a profound speech?”

She chuckled, “Yes, it was.”

He laid back, resting against the side of her rump. “Well, I have to admit, it was a good one.” Laughing, he faced her. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Rob found himself looking at her gentle smile, and it made him feel a deep sense of comfort.

They both sat still for a while, listening to the waves lap against the sandy shore. Despite his hatred of it, Rob had found that his beach needed sand. He was glad. It was far more soothing than the clash of pebbles could have ever been. He assumed Celestia thought so too; it was one of the first things she had suggested for him to change. He looked back at his house a fair ways down the beach. “You know, tonight has been one strange night.”

“How so?”

“Haha, well, for starters, your amazing speech wasn’t the first amazing speech I’ve heard today.”

“No?” She hummed a little in contemplation, “But… who’s was better though?”

“Oh, yours, definitely yours.” He mock-flattered her, to which she shot him a cheeky wink.

“You’ll do fine with that attitude, Arc. Just keep on trying, things will click eventually.”

He patted her on the side. “I know… I know…” Sitting up, he stretched. “This shit’s just flyin’ past me, ya know?”

“I’m immortal, as you put it. Come back to me when life really passes you by.”

“Haha, yeah, I guess…”

Teaching a teenager to meditate was excruciating. Celestia had mentioned on several occasions that she was long-lived. However, no amount of time could quell both the stress and the boredom of watching Rob fail to sit still. She sighed, knowing fully well that she brought the whole situation upon herself.

Just after their chat, Celestia had offered to help Rob with his magical studies. She opted for the job of focussing him, something which Twilight had often tried to do – mostly unsuccessfully. One issue was that the boy was stubborn. The other issue was that Twilight was stubborn. This conflicted, and as such, the training never got anywhere. Celestia was beginning to understand why.

“Just focus on being at peace with yourself…”

“Look, you saying that over and over again, is beginning to piss me off…” Rob cracked one eye open from his cross-legged position on the sand, and glared at Celestia.

“Sorry, I’m only trying to help. You won’t get better if I don’t do this. You can be so scornful at times…”

“Yeah, well… Twilight has made me hate this part of the training… It always ends with her shouting at me and beating Spike.”

“S-she hits Spike!?”

“No, no, not at all. I just wanted to see your reaction.”

That move got the human a smack over the back of the head.

She faced him. “You sure can be a… a…”

“Dick?”

“Giant phallus, yes.”

“Nicely put.”

“Thank you.”

Teaching a teenager to meditate was excruciating. As backup, Luna had been drafted in by her sister for a more direct approach. If Celestia could think of anyone fit for the job, it was her. Although not as magically accomplished as she was, Luna certainly had a different outlook on the whole subject, and Celestia figured that might help Arc out.

Over the years, Celestia had watched Luna teach many students of her own. She never quite knew how she did it; all she knew was that not many of them seemed to continue their studies past the first week. She figured that it was a phase, and it’d pass; she never thought Luna would have the mentality required for teaching. She was beginning to see why.

“Arcadia, you need to lean back. More… …More… …More… …More. Remember, this is all about relaxation, so now close your eyes and don’t focus on what I’m doing at all, it’s just to help you relax.” Celestia watched Luna crack on with her teaching.

“O-ok…”

It was strange. The princess of the sun was used to herself being the one Arc looked upon with a scared expression. She felt a little jealousy as the human watched her sister with wide eyes. She could understand why, after all, she’d be doing the same in his position.

“I just need you to relax a little further, Arcadia. I’m going to touch you now, and I need you to just slip into it, staying calm and at ease.”

“Are you sure this is ok, Lulu, I… feel almost too comfortable with this…”

“Art thou- I mean… Are you questioning our- my teaching!?”

“No, no! Not at all! I mean, I’m questioning the ethics of this a little bit, but not the teaching, no, never the teaching!”

Celestia watched wide-eyed as her sister sat Rob down on the sand, made him take his shirt off, and sat behind him; spreading her hind legs around him and draping her forelegs over his shoulders. From behind, she began massaging his chest, forcing him to lean back into her, all the while, telling him to relax. How anyone was meant to relax in such a situation was beyond her.

Rob pressed his bare back against the soft fur on Luna’s underbelly, feeling his pulse rise again for the umpteenth time that night. He looked down at his chest and saw the princess’s hooves kneading gently against him.

“She expects me to relax!? This night is giving me such a case of blue balls…”

Doing as she asked, Rob cast aside all the issues he had with that particular method of training, and relaxed, leaning back even further into the princess as she’d asked moments before. Despite everything, he could not deny that he felt good. It was relaxing in its own way.

“Now listen to my voice, Arcadia.” She spoke softly into his ear.

He let out a deep breath and shut his eyes tighter, “Just ‘Arc’ Luna, we’ve been through this…” He sighed, “I’m going to be saying that to ponies for the rest of my life, aren’t I…?”

“My apologies, Arc. It’s hard to be less formal than I am accustomed to. I hope that you’ve noticed I’m trying my best to change that though, yes?” She ended the sentence with a small giggle.

“Yeah, yeah… So, just relax, right?” He tried to find some tranquillity from amongst Luna’s warm chest. “Right…”

The next hour passed surprisingly well, Celestia thought. She had gotten bored of watching them from the hammock and had gone into Rob’s home a little up the shore. Somehow, she’d found herself wearing an apron and serving them drinks. It’d been a fair time since she was the one waiting on someone with an apron…

What did amaze her though, was how well Luna’s strange method of teaching seemed to be working. By making use of the power of intimacy and bonds, she was somehow able to accentuate the level of inner peace he was feeling. It was as if she had found a way to use forced empathy. By now, Rob was in a deep state of tranquillity.

Trotting back out onto the sand, Celestia carried something called ‘Mountain Dew’ for Luna, and something called ‘Bulmers’ for Arc. She’d found them in the fridge and after a quick sniff test, decided these were the right drinks for the right people and ponies. For herself, she had whipped up another batch of piña colada, and she carried them all out on a tray with her magic.

She had opted not to balance the tray on her back like last time, back in Canterlot, because as she had found out rather quickly after arriving in Rob’s mind; the sand was not easy to walk on when you had hooves. They covered nowhere near enough surface area, and as result, you sank.

“Ok you two, time for a break.” She tapped her sister on the shoulder which made her jump, and giggled as she retreated back a little.

“Oh, s-sister! I’m sorry, I did not notice you sneak up on me like that.” Both Luna and Arc snapped out of their concentration and looked up at Celestia.

“Drinks?” The human questioned after taking a moment to gather himself. “Do we even need them when we’re in my mind?”

Celestia laughed, “No, not really, but, it can’t hurt right?”

“I suppose not.” Rob took his cider as the tray floated past him. “So, how’s it going, Luna? It feels good.”

“Yes, I am inclined to agree. Things are progressing very well.” She turned to her sister. “I don’t know why you and Miss Sparkle had so much trouble…”

Rob watched as the white princess rolled her eyes. “We just have different ways of doing things.”

“Hey, Lulu, can you help me out like this more often?” Rob figured that one or two of his daily sessions of magical studies with Twilight could be set aside for training with Luna. After all, Twilight was good, but, she couldn’t know everything.

“I do have other things to do, you know. I only came this time because my sister requested it…”

“Well, pretty please!” He turned to her and pushed her onto her back, pulling out his phone as he did. “Or…” Quickly snapping a photo of her, he turned to run. “I’ll show this to everyone in Canterlot!”

Briefly catching a look at the screen as the human turned and fled, her face flushed bright red. It was embarrassing to watch herself in such an undignified position; legs splayed out on the sand, rolling to try and get up. “Hey, get back here!” She stood up and took chase, struggling to move with any speed on the sand.

Celestia watched and shook her head like a mother watching her two children. “What ever will I do…? That picture won’t even show up when we all leave his mind…” She smiled to herself and went back into the house to wash up. It felt nice to let her mane down every one in a while, even if it was only a fantasy.

For the next hour or so, Rob and Luna continued their practise, once the latter had agreed to the formers request. Celestia could tell that her little sister enjoyed the company anyway, and what he’d asked of her was no more of an imposition than anything else she had to do.

Once Luna was satisfied that the days’ time had been spent effectively, she pulled Rob aside for what he considered ‘homework’. He was already sick of Twilight telling him to read books, books and more books; he didn’t care for Luna telling him anything similar.

“That’s it?” Rob smiled. “I can do that easy. Just leave it to me.”

“Good. Then we are done here. Go and rest.” The lunar princess replied.

“Rest? But aren’t I already resting, this is kinda like a dream, right?”

“In theory, yes, but you will find that while your body is rested, your mind might not be. After all, we have been highly active in here this night.” She gave a solemn glance to her sister. “And things will only get harder.” Rob waited as she paused and looked back at him. “I hope you’re prepared.”

Smiling, he patted the mare on the head, causing her to bare her teeth at him with a grimace. “No worries, I got this all covered! You focus on the moon and your creepy sister, and I’ll focus on not setting things on fire. Sound good?”

She only grumbled in response.

Rob turned to see Celestia walking towards him, “Well, Arc. This is all for tonight. Good luck for tomorrow, from what I can see, you’ll need it.” She smiled and flicked her tail up at his face, causing him to shy away.

“So that’s it? What about-” Without warning, he found himself looking up at the ceiling in Twilight’s library, back in his bed like usual. “-all the other… eugh, forget it.” He turned to the side, only to see an angry looking Twilight staring at him from a chair next to the bed. “Oh, I can’t see this ending well…” He muttered to himself.

“What were you thinking!?” He recoiled at her outburst as she leaned in.

“Wait! Now before you get all angry, you should know that this was all Celestia’s idea! She told me to do it! And then Luna came along as well, and we all sat in hammocks and drank piña colada on the beach! Things got a little weird after that… I think Lulu touched me in dirty places…”

“Don’t lie to me!”

“I’m not! Ask them yourself!” He looked at her pleadingly until she turned away and sighed, wiping her brow with her hoof.

“You’re an idiot, you know that?”

“I do!”

For a moment, Rob saw a smile grace her lips, but just as soon as the moment had arrived, she faced him again with her stern expression on. “But next time, don’t fall asleep outside in the cold like that! Ponies have died from such things!”

“Yeah, but I’m a badman, s’all good, Twi.” He smiled at her, which seemingly pissed her off even more.

“Well, punishment is about to be served anyway.” An evil grin spread across her features.

“W-what do you mean?”

Rob watched as she pointed at the door. At first he didn’t know what was happening, but eventually he noticed Twilight’s horn light up, and heard a click as something unlocked. Within seconds, the door was blasted open and what Rob was forced to watch as Moondancer came rushing through, seemingly without pause; something that was amazing considering she just tackled a door twice her size.

In one fluid motion, she leapt from the floor and onto the bed, winding Rob as she planted all four hooves solidly on his stomach, something which made him involuntarily sit up sharply, resulting in him almost getting a horn in the eye – courtesy of Moondancer. Once the coughing and spluttering was over, he looked at the pony on his body and promptly pushed her off, muttering to himself under his breath once more.

“God girl, what are you, a puppy?” He looked into her glistening eyes. “Don’t give me that look!” She let out a lip quiver. “Well fuck. That kinda puts a stop to all disputes in Equestria.” He shook his head. “When did it come down to a ‘can you out-cute the enemy’ survivorship system…?”

“I was just so worried! Twilight said that you were asleep outside, and it’s cold at this time of year! And I didn’t want you getting ill or worse! And then I remembered that we could share our body heat, so I came up here and tried to undress you and get all snuggly but then Twilight threw me out…” She had a dejected look on her face.

“Well, I think that’s for the best, don’t you?” She nodded instantly, more as if agreeing with anything the human said, than if she knew what he was even talking about. Rob put it aside and swivelled himself out of the bed. He stared back at the white mare looking up at him with her adorably simple expression. He smiled. “But thank you, Moondancer.” That seemed to brighten her up.

Just as Rob was about to throw his clothes off and head into the shower, the peace of the room was interrupted by Twilight calling out, “Not again!” And running off to the bathroom. Rob frowned, as he looked towards the door that Twilight had just sprinted out through. He turned to Moondancer.

“You know anything about that?”

She shrugged and collapsed into his pillow.

Sighing, he took his shirt off. “I was just going to go in there…”

“How did it come to this, Twilight?”

“I don’t know…”

Rob could hear the sadness in her voice.

“And I thought you were such a sensible mare… Tut-tut…”

“I don’t want to hear that from you…” She spat back at him.

“I didn't think you guys could puke...?”

“W-what-” Rob watched as she heaved again into the toilet bowl. “-Gave you that idea!?” She spluttered out after finishing her very unladylike coughing fit.

“Dunno... just read it somewhere...”

“You… read…? Good one…” She smirked before turning back towards the unlucky porcelain.

“You know, you can be very mean when you want to be… I’m not sure if I like the new Sassy-Twilight.” He moaned as she emptied her stomach once again, he was disliking the close proximity to her bodily discharge.

“How did I get roped into this…”

He looked at his own reflection in the mirror and took note of the withered expression.

“I see you’ve become chief mane-holder.”

“Ah, Celestia! Yes, it would appear so.”

Rob looked down at his hands which were wrapped around Twilight’s mane, keeping it way from her face as she leant over the toilet.

“Have you ever seen an element of harmony in this kind of state before?”

“Not to my recollection, no. Unless you count me as being one? I suppose I was technically representing all of them at one point… Then yes, I was always in this state.”

“You were… multiple elements of harmony?”

“Yes.”

“You are anything but harmonious…”

“Well, it was more like I was the sole user… I had inner harmony or something…”

“Oh do tell me more, wise teacher…”

“Shut up, it was a long time ago…”

“Tell me more about you in ‘this’ state?”

“What do you want to know?”

“Well, the first thing that springs to mind is once again; how did you become the ruler of a country? Seriously, out of all the magical bullshit this place has to offer, this confuses me the most. I can sort of understand how your sister became revered or whatever, but, you? You’re a mess.”

“That’s a little harsh, don’t you think?”

“Maybe, but I’m holding a vomiting pony’s mane, I’m hardly in the best mood right now.”

“Why don’t you be a gentlecolt and ask how she is?”

“Fine…”

“Hey, Twilight… you ok down there?” He peered down to get a better look at her, before sitting back up sharply after getting an unwelcome look at the contents of the bowl beneath the mare. “Ok, not too good still. I getcha.”

“She’s fine.”

“She doesn’t look it.”

“Trust me.”

“You are such a little girl sometimes…”

“I think you’ll find that I’m a little girl far more than just sometimes.”

“That’s not something to be proud of…”

“Twi, you mind if I have a shower…?”

“Now!?”

“Well yeah, I was sorta coming to do that originally, I only just happened to come across you spewing out your insides by chance. I was a little confused at first. Red wine really doesn’t agree with you… told you to stick to cider…”

“Not now, Arc…” She sighed and turned her head to face him. “Look, can you go and tell Spike that he’s free for the day, and then Moondancer… Oh Celestia, Moondancer… just… tell her not to break anything. After that you can have a shower. I’ll do my best not to look at you while you change…”

“You’re a dear! I’ll get right on that!” Rob turned and left the room to hunt for Spike, leaving Twilight only the mocking porcelain for comfort.

She moaned. “This day can’t get any worse…”