Saccharine Arcadia

Chapter 8: Who Says Ponyville Is Full Of Surprises!?

Ponyville Library, Main Area:

“Ahh, this feels good… Yes, good. Hmm, maybe if I just turn over a little…”

“Shit! Shit! Shit! Stop! Pain! Argh! Stiff neck! Stiff neck!”

“Let’s not do that again… Where I was, was perfectly fine… I don’t see why I needed to move in the first place…”

“… … …”

“Let’s just-”

“… … …”

“Well shit, now I’m awake… Might as well get up.”

“Is that… pancakes I smell? Again? I’d kill for some bacon. Day four, and I’m already craving meat…”

With a groan, Rob eased himself from his resting place and looked around, sitting up in the process. There were books, lots of books. He remembered being on the sofa, and then, nothing. He half expected to be in a bed of some sorts, but out of three nights in Ponyville, he’d only actually slept where he was meant to, once. He looked down to see what the cause of his stiff neck was, and saw the arm of the sofa menacingly looking back at him.

“… I’m watching you…”

The sofa of course, just mocked him with its unwavering fortitude, and so he swung his legs out and stood up, pushing his hair out of his face. He hated it when it was unwashed. Stretching, he followed the smell, and found himself in the kitchen where a small green dragon was cooking.

Hearing the footsteps, Spike turned around. He was wearing an apron which had a few splotches of pancake mix on it. He smiled and turned back around to continue cooking, placing the whisk back in the bowl.

“Mornin’…”

“And to you Arc. Rough night by any chance?” He laughed, and Rob guessed that he was referring to the camping expedition on the sofa.

“Yeah… Well, no. I slept fine, but in an awkward position and now my neck is stiff.” Raising his hand, he rubbed his neck, almost punching himself again with the cast.

“I really gotta remember that’s there…”

“Sounds like you need to see Aloe and Lotus again.”

“No! No I don’t!” He fumbled over his words a bit, but managed to blurt out a sentence.

“Ok, calm down. Why… Did something happen?”

“Nope. Nothing, little man, I uh, just found them a little too much.”

“If you say so.”

“I do. So, whatcha cooking?” Rob asked, fully aware of what was in the mixing bowl. He figured he’d just make conversation with the little dragon to kill a little time before work.

He looked at his phone which read seven-thirty, as Spike began to talk again.

“I was going to wake you up if you hadn’t got up soon. Oh, and, pancakes, we’re having pancakes. Is that ok?”

“Yeah, fine, whatever’s easiest for you. Anyhow, how do you know when I have to be up?”

“Twilight left a note over on her desk. It said you were meeting Rose at nine, and I know how long it takes to get there from here. I also presumed you would have a shower and want breakfast too. Lastly, I accounted for you getting lost on the way, Twilights directions may be a little complicated…” The small green dragon turned as he finished, and clapped his hands together, causing a small flour explosion to puff out from his hands.

“You thought of all that? Dude, that’s impressive.”

“Well, being Twi’s assistant for this long and… huh, you just sort of get used to these things I suppose. She’s organised, but sometimes too organised, and it’s those times when I need to have things worked out.”

“You are much more mature than people, uh, ponies would first assume Spike.”

He beamed at the complement and patted his chest. “You know, I try telling ponies that, but sometimes they just don’t listen!”

“And there goes the maturity!”

“Don’t worry little buddy. People will believe it soon enough, you’re still growing up, it’s something that comes with age.”

He looked the human up and down. “Are you fully grown yet?”

“Me,” He held his hands to his body. “No, not yet, I still have a few years left of growth.”

“Will you become huge like dragons do?”

He laughed. “No Spike, I’ll stay about the same height, but just fill out a bit more width ways.” He motioned his hands getting wider for emphasis.

“You’re already pretty big.” He said, placing a plate on the table and gesturing for Rob to take a seat.

The human moved from the door frame he was leaning against and pulled a stool out to sit on. He soon began to dig into his food.

“God, my eating’s been irregular for the past few days.”

“Is it ok?”

Rob looked up. “Great thanks Spike!”

He smiled a satisfied grin, and began to wash the dishes, turning back to the sink.

After breakfast, Rob went upstairs to have a shower. Feeling clean, and with fresh clothes on, thanks to the princess’s voodoo magic, he walked back into the main area of the library, ready to start the day, clean, fed and dressed.

Spike was kind enough to have made him a packed lunch, and he felt like he was in school again.

On the way out of the door, Rob shouted a goodbye back to Spike, which was returned by the dragon in the form of a wave. He also called out to Twilight, but figured she was still sleeping, from what he’d gathered, that mare often had late nights. Closing the door behind him, he made his way out into the quiet streets of Ponyville. He checked his phone again, it read eight thirty, and he noticed the battery bar flashing red. He tucked it back in his pocket.

“This thing is gonna die soon. I should have probably asked someone sooner about fixing this, or making it run on magic or something. Can they even do that?”

“I suppose Celestia dragged me through dimensions, charging a phone shouldn’t be that tricky. It’s my iPod I worry about, that things got all my precious music on it. I love that little bastard. I need my music.”

“Come to think of it, the phone is pretty much just a glorified watch, nopony else has a phone, so it’s actually fairly redundant that I’ve got one…”

“Ok, next thing on Rob’s pointless list of things to occupy time in Ponyville: Charge gadgets.”

“Right, just passed Sugarcube Corner… That means I’m going the wrong way and need to turn right at some point.”

Rob decided that at the next opportunity, he would make a right turn, and just as he did, one appeared. It kind of looked right, it looked like any other non-descript street Ponyville had to offer. There were lanterns hanging from poles and thatched houses with the odd shop in between. It looked just like the rest of Ponyville.

After a few minutes of walking, he came across what seemed to be a park, and decided that a rest might be good. All resting aside, he needed to bring in outside help to achieve his goal of actually arriving to work on his first day. He found a bench and sat on it. Off in the distance, he saw the unmistakable shape of Twilight’s library and figured that he’d doubled back on himself somewhere. He looked at his phone again, it read eight forty.

“Knock, knock.”

“Who is it~”

“You know damn well who it is…”

“Fine, be that way. How can I help you?”

“Well, I’m kinda lost, and was wondering if you could give me another magical compass.”

“And what do I get in return?”

“My undying love and generosity?”

“Nope, that isn’t going to cut it.”

“My soul?”

“Now you’re talking!”

“Forget it, you are NEVER having my soul, not until I die, and even then, I will fight you for it!”

“And you will lose!”

“Just give me the damn compass!”

“Ok, ok, don’t throw a hissy fit. Here you go stud~”

Rob felt the familiar wave of magical energy wash over him, and he felt a tug back down the road, back the way he’d came.

“Figures… Anyway, thanks Celly. And don’t call me ‘stud’.”

“Only if you don’t call me ‘Celly’.”

“No can do. I like ‘Celly’, and think I’ll be using it from now on. It’s cute.”

“Awww, you think I’m cute?”

“I think you CAN be cute. But no, you are not cute.”

“Well that’s just mean…”

“This has been fun, but I’ve got a job to get to, and I’ll be late if I continue talking to myself in the park. Thanks again, and speak to you soon.”

“Bye Arc.”

“Later.”

The rest of the walk was uneventful, as far as mind trips went, Rob had however, bumped into a few more of the local populace, and briefly said hello during his brisk jog past. There was a pair of lilac coloured pegasi mares, one was tomboyish and the other very girly, they waved to him from atop a cloud. There was also a yellow pony with a golden mane who called out from across the street at one point, and a cream pony with a two-tone mane coloured blue and pink, among various others.

Rob had wasted so much time chatting and getting lost, that he’d broken into a run at some point, and luckily, providing Celestia wasn’t playing tricks on him, the compass would be compelling him to go in the right direction.

Soon enough, Rob saw familiar sights, and the streets became hills once again. More and more lakes started spilling out from in between the valleys, and eventually, the human was out of breath.

“Why did anypony think that letting me out by myself in Ponyville was a good idea!”

“Morning Arc! How are you today?” A familiar feminine voice called from behind one of the many greenhouses littering the area. A red mane could be spotted from through the glass, and not long after that, Rose walked out with a watering can in her mouth.

“Morning Rose, you look well this morning.” He let out between haggard breaths.

She let a faint rouge tint her cheeks, and turned her face away, appearing bashful for some reason. “T-thanks, but you… Are you ok? You look like you’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards.”

He laughed and slumped over, planting his hands on his knees as he recovered back the last of his missing breath, “Well, I got lost, and to make up for it, I had to make a deal with the devil. After that, I didn’t want to be late, and so I ran, which in retrospect was a stupid idea, as my back wound now canes. Lucky for me, I think I picked up a little more momentum thanks to the arm cast, and overall, I don’t think I’m late. Yay for me…”

“Well, actually, you’re just on time! But Arc, don’t overwork yourself, its ok if you’re a little late. Besides, you got lost, you aren’t from here, and it’s completely understandable.” She smiled gently at him and placed a caring hoof on his leg.

“Thanks. You know, you ponies are a hell of a lot nicer than the people where I’m from. Being late to work is a strict no-no.”

“Well, if it’s consistent, then yes, we will be having words,” She chuckled, closing her eyes for a moment, “But, it’s ok for now! I’m sure you won’t get lost on Monday.”

Rob stood back up and sighed, “I’m so stupid, how did I not think to ask before now…” He turned and walked a few paces before turning around and walking back, “Rose, what day is it?”

He was greeted with a blank stare, as she appeared to zone out while looking at him, “I’m sorry, what?”

“Uh, what day is it?”

“You seriously don’t know?” His honest facial expression told her everything she needed to know. She sighed and laughed, “Friday Arc, it’s the weekend tomorrow!”

He looked at her. “Two days off then?”

“Yeah, is it different where you come from?”

“No, no. I just want to get to grips with everything.”

The cream coloured mare spun around and walked towards the shop, which was a little ways off in the distance. She twisted her head around, looking over her shoulder, and stared back at him. “You coming or what?” She let out another little laugh. Rob found it rather cute.

“Yeah, I’m right behind you.”

And so, he followed her towards the Pretty Petal Flower Shop.

The whole area was brighter than it had been the day before, and much like any other day in Ponyville, the weather was great, and the sky was blue. The many lakes held a bright and cheery atmosphere this morning, as opposed to the calming and tranquil one of the night before. The water shimmered, and illuminated the many surrounding hills, the beams of light lancing off of the many greenhouses, refracting them further. The whole area was sparkling, and Rob had to raise his hand over his eyes so he could see the rest of the trip indoors, save from walking into the odd potted plant here and there.

Rose turned to him when they were in the main body of the building. “Ok, Arc! First things first, today, I will be spending the whole day with you, to guide you through the many different jobs you will be doing. I figured the easiest thing to do, was working on the till behind the counter. Is that ok?”

He nodded.

“Good, well then, as you can see from looking around, most of the items have prices already on them, any of the bigger things will be on the sheet I gave you, which if you don’t have it, there will be another one under the counter.” She proceeded to move around the counter and slide a drawer out, showing him the list of sheets. “It’s simple, tell them the price, get the money, put it in the till and keep a record of the transaction so we can work out finances later. Don’t worry though, that’s mainly Daisy’s job, she’s good with numbers. Any questions?”

“Nope.”

“Well then, call me if you need anything, and I’ll just be around the shop. If you can’t find me, I’ll be in the store room in the back.” She motioned to a door in the back wall, the one Lily had come out of the day before. “It should all be fairly straight forward though.” She turned and walked away, flicking her mane out of her face, “Good luck!”

The cream colour mare strolled over to the store room, and later came out with what appeared to be drip feed. Rob watched as she tended to the many plants along the various rows in the shop, humming away to herself. He barely noticed the first customer walk in through the open doorway. It wasn’t until she walked up to the counter and placed down some fertiliser and a selection of pansies with an audible thump, that the human pried his eyes away from Rose and attended to her.

The customer in question was a smallish earth pony with a blue coat and a purple mane; she was relatively cheerful throughout the exchange, and retained a smile on her face all the way back out the door. Rob’s job was fairly simple, and he simply read the prices and told her the total, she paid and then left. Any previous apprehension he might have had about the job, was quickly washed away. A few more customers came and went, and in the meantime, he made idle chatter with Rose.

“So, Rose, why is this place named the ‘Pretty Petal Flower Shop’, did you three call it that, or was it already named that when you took this place over?”

She stopped doing what she was doing, pruning some stray areas off of the climbers on the trellis, and walked back to the human behind the counter. She gained a faraway look in her green eyes, and pondered a moment before beginning.

“The other two and I found this place when we were only graduates; it was just the shell of an old barn that used to be here back then. As you can probably tell, the land around here is highly fertile, due to it being so close to numerous fresh water outlets, and the farmers who used to be here, obviously knew that too. Many different crops, fruits and vegetables were able to grow here because of the unique ecosystem presented by the area, for a while, this place was Equestria’s only farm which sold rice as one of its many goods, and so it quickly became quite the rich establishment. From what we’re told, this was one of the rival farms to Sweet Apple Acres back in the day, and any stories of it are seldom known by many others aside from Granny Smith. It’s funny, they may have been rivals, but from what we can tell, Granny Smith has only the highest appreciation for those who work the land, and these ponies were no different.”

She sighed, “I wish I could have met them…”

Rob shook his head and came back to reality. “So, what happened next?”

“Well, at some point, many decades ago, there was some sort of food shortage in the nearby Diamond Dog dens, and they were getting desperate. I know it’s hard to believe, but they… They attacked Ponyville! Anyhow, naturally, they went for the places of weakness, and those with the most gain to attack… Unfortunately, this farm was on the outskirts of Ponyville and also housed one of the largest quantities of food for the area. They pillaged and destroyed the farm, leaving it to go to ruin over time. Nopony was killed or anything, but their lives here had been destroyed, and so they decided to move on… It’s a shame really. But I heard they moved over to the west slopes of Canterlot instead, to be closer to the capital, Once again, the land there is really fertile, and great for crops. Unfortunately, I don’t know if the family is still there, and even if they are, I don’t know what their name is…”

“So, when did you find this place?”

“Haha, that was about five years ago now. Wow, time sure flies huh!? Daisy and I had just finished collage and were celebrating in a nearby bar, I think Berry worked there at that point… She went to the same college as us. Anyway, this was back in Manehattan, and like I said, we were in a bar, celebrating our graduation! We sure did drink a lot that night. We were quite crazy back then!”

The human raised his hand. “Sorry, but if you don’t mind me asking, how old are you Rose?”

She chucked at the question and raised her hooves onto the counter. “Why, how old would you guess~?”

“Haha, don’t say that Rose! To be honest, I don’t really know about ages here in Equestria, you look just as old as Twilight if I’m being honest…”

“Awww, you flatter me!” She batted her eyelashes jokingly. “I’m twenty three.”

“Wow, looking good for twenty three!” He jested back.

“Thanks, now where were we? Ah yes, Manehattan! Well, like I said, we were in this bar, and as luck had it, Lily was working there as a waitress. Now, I like Lily, I do, but she was not cut out for working as a waitress. She’s just too clumsy! Anyhow, we’d been there a number of times over our college years, and she was studying the same course as us, unfortunately… I don’t know if I should be telling you this… But, she failed… She didn’t pass the course. She was fairly upset, understandably so, and things just went downhill for her that particular night. She upset a customer, one too many times, and was fired on the spot. Now Daisy is a kind mare, and went to console her. Long story short, we got through the night and helped Lily out. It’s amazing how much we used to be able to drink! And so, for the rest of that night, we basically went on a bar crawl around Manehattan.”

“This doesn’t explain how you found this place!?”

“I’m getting there, be patient Arc. Well, as I was saying, we were drinking, a lot that night… And don’t ask me when or how, because I honestly don’t remember, but we ended up on a train to Ponyville. One of us wanted the Apple families’ new Applejack Daniels drink that had recently come out, and you know how it is, you drink, and are able to do anything. So while staggering around in the dark for a while, we saw what looked to be a farm in the distance, it was dark and we weren’t in our best state of mind, but we figured it was Sweet Apple Acres. We start-”

Rob interjected, “You do realise that the Apple family was probably asleep by that time, right?”

“Well I know that now. Back then, we weren’t really thinking. Haha, but the barn, or what we thought was the barn, was wrong. We got closer and realised that we weren’t in Sweet Apple Acres at all, no, we’d found the long deserted farmstead which used to belong to that family I was talking about earlier. It really freaked us out, and we all began tripping over our own hooves. I bet we looked really funny!” She paused to laugh, “Daisy fell over and hit her head!”

“That’s not very nice…”

“Sorry, but from what I can recall, it was really funny! Her forelegs just slid out from under her, and we heard a ‘clunk’, as her head made contact with the ground. It was only after we’d passed out and decided to sleep there the whole night, that we woke up and discovered where we really were. If I remember correctly, my head hurt a lot that morning… We woke up and found ourselves, here!” She gestured with her hooves out of the window at the lake. “And we were amazed, we didn’t know how we’d missed it the night before.”

“I can take a guess.”

She chortled, “Yeah, so can I. We decided to look around a bit before heading home, and then something happened. Lily started crying again… She was depressed that even if we went home, there would be nothing for her there. She’d lost her job, and been kicked out of college, even her parents had moved away, back to Stalliongrad. She was in quite the state. So, we did what any friends would do, and comforted her. We told her that we’d always be there for her no matter what, and we’d help her get back on her hooves. Call it spur of the moment, but we decided there and then to start a nursery together, it was what we had all trained for, so we saw no harm in it. Besides, back then, Ponyville had no plant nurseries, and we knew this. So the very same day, we went to the Mayor and asked around. As if purely by coincidence, she sold us the land here, claiming the land would be great for the plants. She was right. We gave her the money, making us nearly broke for the rest of that month, and set about using the rest of our money to buy everything we could afford and needed for the original set up of our business.”

“That sounds like quite the gamble…”

She sighed, “And it was. We were living off of nothing for the first two months, it was horrible. As for the name, well, while renovating, we found the remains of the archway leading into the farm that was here before us, the only thing it read was ‘Pretty Petal-”, and the rest was cut off. We decided on the remaining part of the name and chose appropriately, seeing as it was a garden centre. So, to make it catchy, we went with ‘Pretty Petal Flower Shop”, and it’s been that way ever since.”

“So what happened after that?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know, how long did it take you to get back on your feet?”

“Feet?”

“God… Hooves?!”

“Oh! Right! Well, things picked up in our third month, spring was coming, and people were actually after what we were selling. We got lots of income, and still do, being the only plant shop in the area. We spent what we could on renovations, the greenhouses you see outside are an example of that, and spent the rest on ourselves, we figured we deserved it after what we all went through.”

The human slumped back against the wall behind him. “You gals are great friends, you know that?”

She smiled, and opened her mouth to speak before being cut off by another voice. “We sure do.”

Daisy had entered the shop with the usual watering can in her mouth.

“I still wonder how she talks with that thing in her mouth…”

“That’s what she said!”

“Damnit brain!”

Her cream friend went to see her. “Daisy! How long have you been here?”

Her friend gave her a bemused look and replied. “You know I work here right? I’ve been listening to the whole thing from outside, you two were so wrapped up in ‘story time’ that you started shouting! I’m surprised it didn’t start to echo off the hills!”

“Sorry…” She hung her head.

“Why are you apologising? You were just telling a story.” The magenta mare replied, nuzzling her friend’s chest.

“Well, I know it’s a personal thing for the three of us. I wasn’t sure you’d be happy with me telling it.”

“Rose, you should know me better than that, of course I’d be happy! You sounded so excited telling the story of how we met! That shows how much it means to you!”

“Awww, one nice, big, happy family!” Rob clapped his hands together, breaking the two mares out of their heart to heart with a smile on his face.

The two mares continued to chat while he dealt with yet another customer, a yellow pegasus this time.

“Do all pegasi live in cloud houses?”

Daisy turned to him, breaking out of her conversation with Rose. “Why do you ask that?”

“Well, Dash said that she lived in one, and yet a pegasi just brought flowers… I didn’t think plants grew on clouds…”

The two ponies laughed as another customer entered the shop. “No, not all of them do. And even those that do can still buy plants. There are many special types of furniture designed for cloud houses, some things are enchanted, some not, but they play off of the clouds density somehow or another… I don’t really know the details. But yes, it is entirely possible for a cloud home to support plant life, just as much as it is able to support a cooker or a sofa! They aren’t going to fall through the floor, no.”

“I’ve got a lot to learn… How do you know all of this?”

“To be fair, we’ve grown up with it all our lives, this is all new to you.” Rose replied.

“I take it you’ve told them what I said in the square the other day?”

She nodded in response, as Arc dealt with another earth pony.

He spoke up again. “Say, do either of you know where Lily is?”

Daisy answered, “It’s her morning off, so she’s most likely at the café with some of her other mare friends, gossiping, most likely about you.”

“M-me?” He stammered. “Why me?”

Daisy walked around the counter and nudged him with her body. “You’re our new shop mascot! We’re the only people in the whole world with a readily available human!”

“R-readily available… for what?”

“Viewing of course!” She walked back to Rose. “And with luck, making money!”

“Great…”

Rose turned to her friend. “Daisy, don’t be mean!”

She giggled and playfully tapped her friends shoulder in retaliation, “I’m kidding, but think about it…” She seemed to go off into her own little dream world. Rob meanwhile, got back to work.

The day went pretty fast from there on, more and more customers came, some to see him, some to purchase things, and in the end, Rob was thoroughly tired. The majority of the customers had appeared around mid-day, presumably within lunch breaks and such, but they were all nice enough, and gave him no hassle. At some point, Lily had returned, and Rob had assumed it was the afternoon. He’d pulled his phone out to check the time more accurately, but the screen was black, showing the battery had finally died. He sighed and put it away, shaking his head.

After the lunch break, Rose had showed him how to water the plants in the various greenhouses, and in the rows outside the shop. Each one had different requirements, some needed lots of water, and some not, some had to be pulled out of direct sunlight at the peak of the day, and some put into the sunlight, it really was a lot for the human to remember. Around three o’clock, Rose had instructed Lily to teach Rob about the more natural aspects of Equestria’s plant life. She’d taken him out of the main area and into a copse of trees, not too far away from the shop. While there, he had learnt a sort of ‘nature medial course’, as she had showed him the things that were good for the larger trees, and the things that weren’t. If there was a problem, he now knew how to fix it.

Soon after that, the day was at its end. Rob had dealt with many customers, and learnt many new things regarding the various previously unencountered flora of Equestria. He had also learnt a few new things about his co-workers too; Daisy had a penchant for singing, often melancholy songs. Lily was often rather klutzy, and had a tendency to drop things, and Rose liked to be in control. She was never forceful about it, but she had subtle ways of exerting herself. She seemed like the most motherly one of the trio. All in all though, Rob noticed a strong relationship between the three of them. It was rather heart-warming to watch them throughout the day.

The sun had begun to lower, credit to Celestia, and the human was now making his way to his temporary home. Rose had given him an advance on his payment, but told him that from here on, he would be getting it at the end of every week. This suited the human just fine, besides; he currently didn’t know what you use the money on anyway. He was thinking of simply chucking it at Twilight when he got home anyway. She could consider it some form of rent for the time being.

On the walk home, Rob was thinking of things he could do over the next few days. It was the weekend, and if things were like they were back home, his time would be his own. A lay-in was the number one priority. He would also need to remember to ask Twilight about some form of charging device. No iPod, meant no sanity, and the glorified clock he was carrying in his pocket needed some life too. Otherwise, he figured he’d simply take the day as it comes.

Shortly, he found himself in the town, and similarly to the previous few nights, it was rather desolate. The market was packed up, and the streets were lifeless. Ponies sure did go to bed early in comparison to humans, although, to be honest, Rob didn’t know what the exact time was. For all he knew, it was ten o’clock by now. If that was the case, it sure had been a long day.

He thought back to the events of the day. It had been long, and both physically and mentally exhausting. The painkillers and wounds didn’t help either, and having a cast on one hand only any made everything more awkward. In the end, everything aside, he decided that a long bath and a good night’s rest were in dire need, and the library could offer both of those things.

Soon enough, he made it to his destination, and approached the front door.

“Ok… Now, I’m damn sure this door opened wholly earlier, just like any other door.… And yet, like a barn door, it’s split…”

“I’m going to blame that on the whole ‘it’s magic, I aint gotta explain shit’ premise.”

Gaining access to the large tree, he grabbed the makeshift handle and turned, proceeding inside the library.

“Fucking Equestrian doors…”

As he entered, the human was greeted with silence. He began to take his shoes off, and while hobbling on one leg attempting to get the last boot of, he heard a loud explosion from the kitchen. The sound was loud enough and startling enough, to make him loose his balance and fall over, landing on the cast in the process. A clatter would have been heard, if it hadn’t been masked by a second explosion, and Rob felt himself begin to tear up.

“Ahh~ Fuck, fuck, fuck! That only hurts a little, yeah. Not much at all. It feels like I’ve been stabbed ten thousand times in the hand with a fucking rusty fork. Don’t cry, don’t cry.”

While trying not to cry, the human boy got back up, and made his way across the library’s main section to the kitchen.

Looking inside the room, Rob was stunned. There, lying on the floor, with various splotches of unknown substance on her, was Twilight. Aside from the blackened chars and tufts of matted mane, there was some form of smelly liquid attached to her fur, dripping down over the rest of her body. A strong oily smell hit the human’s nose, and he guessed that aside from the flames and explosions, there may actually have been some form of cooking going on in the kitchen at some point. The numerous scattered bowls and utensils added to humans growing the theory.

“T-Twilight… Are you alri-” The human began, before being cut off.

“No, I am NOT alright!” The purple unicorn screamed back at the human. “The book said this would be EASY! But it isn’t! Oh, no, no, no… One table spoon here, and a little stock there! It was all going so well! I read the recipe AT LEAST fifteen times! I just don’t see how cooking can be this difficult!”

“Twilight, calm down! Look, don’t worry about it. Everyone screws things up occasionally… Even the princess’, student, am I right?”

She thought from a moment, and moved a hoof up to rub a little bit of mixture out from below her eye.

“But I’m meant to be good at these things… I just wanted to make you dinner…”

“Damnit, the hugging instinct again? Didn’t I tell you to fuck off…?”

“Tch, regardless, I cannot take this girl seriously when she’s splayed out on the floor like that with all this… goo? Over her. It’s cute, too cute… And with her getting all angry, that just makes it cuter.”

Twilight had further slipped back from her position upon the floor, and now rested against a counter a little ways back, rather than on the base of her tail like before. To accommodate the shift, she had her hind legs splayed out in front of her, and she was slumped over with her forelegs on the ground in-between her back ones. She wore and irate scowl, and seemed to be burning holes through the mixture with the intensity of her stare. After a few seconds of looking at the viscous liquid, she turned and stared at Rob, peering at him with what seemed to be an infantile curiosity. Something eventually clicked, and she turned away, blushing, before rolling over to cover herself.

Standing up, Twilight looked herself over, still with an embarrassed look on her face. She eventually lit up her horn and removed all the liquid on her, via the use of magic, the purple glow lighting up her horn as always. She once again turned to the human.

“Ugh… What were you making exactly?”

“…Curry.” She abated her eyes.

“And, uh, why?” He tentatively asked.

“I overheard you talking with Rarity the other day. I thought that I could make it for you to celebrate your first day at work… You’re finally becoming a part of Ponyville, and I just wanted that to mean something…”

Rob shook his head. “Tch, Twi, look. You didn’t have to go that far. I mean, I’m thankful, sure. But why go this far for someone you barely know? It doesn’t seem… normal, to me.”

She sighed. “Well… You’re my friend now. You’re all of our friends now. And I just wanted to show you that you mean something to me. It’s been three days now, and you’ve already saved someponies life, and gotten a job. I think you deserve something for that.”

Rob walked over to Twilight slowly, talking care not to step in any of the muck. “Look ya silly girl. You don’t need to do this for me!” He paused and rubbed the back of his head, averting his eyes. “But, ugh, thanks anyway. It means a lot to me.” He started laughing. “Probably more so, seeing how you failed so badly!”

She pouted and turned away. “Fine… I suppose I’ll get this cleaned up and we’ll have to find something else for dinner…”

“Do you… Need any help with that?”

She faced him once more, this time with a smile on her face. “No, I think I’ve got this!”

Quarter of an hour later, the mess was cleaned up, and Twilight was presentable once again. She exited the kitchen with a sigh of relief, and slumped down on the sofa. She was clearly tired, despite being used to all those late nights studying. Perhaps cooking took more out of her than she realised.

Feeling somewhat similar, Rob was on one of the opposite chairs, looking at the purple unicorn with a smirk. “So then, you ready?”

“Ready? For what?” She replied drowsily.

“Dinner. Look, we’re both tired, but some food will do us good. Besides, it’s on me.”

She yawned and stood up. “Well, ok. But let me check on Spike first. I need to make sure he’s asleep before we go. I know a little place over the other side of the square we can head to, it’s fairly cheap, and I often run over there for lunch when I’m studying.”

“Ok, ok. Just go check on the little fella and we’ll be off.” Rob called from the chair to Twilight, who was in the process of ascending the stairs.

He stood up and went over to the door, leaning against the wall before putting his shoes on with great difficulty. Not too long after that, and Twilight came back downstairs with a small equine shaped puffy jacket on. It covered most of her body apart from her head and hooves, although there was a hood, and surprisingly, some hoof shaped parts buttoned up to the cuffs. It was zipped up tightly around her neck, where there was a fluffy collar, and she seemed almost snuggly. It was also a dark blue colour, fitting of her, as it matched the majority of her mane. She walked up to the human.

“Looking at her puffy face is just adorable.”

“What’s with the get up?” He asked her.

“What? It’s cold in Ponyville at night during this time of the year.”

“Sure… So, let’s do this!” Rob raised his hand up for emphasis, punching the air.

The duo walked across the remainder of the library, and let themselves out, heading into the late evening air.

“Say, Twi, do you mind if I call you that?”

She chuckled. “Not at all!”

“Great, so, what time is it? My watch kind of broke, which come to think of it, was also something I was going to ask about…” He trailed off, looking absentmindedly down at the ground.

“Right now, it’s about seven o’clock, see, the sun has barely just set.”

Rob looked to the horizon, the faint dim glow of orange dissipated the closer to them it got, Equestria was almost fully under the darkness of night. Candles were alight atop poles lining the streets, and thanks to them, there was ample light to see. The human turned his eyes back to the floor. “Suppose it has.”

They continued walking slowly, making small talk until Rob asked, “So how does day and night work in this place? There is clearly no rotation and stuff…”

Twilight looked at him blankly before stuttering into speech. “I-It’s the princesses. They raise them… I thought you knew that?”

“Yeah, yeah, but I mean. Are there time zones based on that? Seasons? How about the timing of the sun and moon raising, are there variations?”

Once again, Twilight laughed. “It’s funny how little you know about us!”

“Laugh it up…”

“Sorry, sorry, the simple premise is this; The Princesses can raise or set the sun and moon whenever they want, they usually do it after six in the evening and before seven in the morning though. That just seems to be the time frame they stick to. It makes all of our lives easier that way, and adds a sense of routine. As you can see, this evening, the sun set at around half six, tomorrow, it might be an hour later. As for time zones, sure, other nations have different times. The sun must go somewhere right! It simply shifts around the planet.”

“Makes sense I suppose. Do continue.”

“Ok! As for seasons, yes, we have them, spring, summer, autumn and winter! We also have various festivals to celebrate them, Winter Wrap Up, The Summer Sun Celebration, The Running of the Leaves and Hearths Warming Eve.”

Rob smiled, “Now they sound fun. And strangely familiar…”

The small banter continued until the pair finally arrived at the restaurant. It wasn’t fancy, rather plain actually; it did have a rather European feel to it though, as there were large pillars outside, holding up the slanted roof. There were tendrils of ivy draped over said roof, and they cascaded down a ways before being abruptly cut off. The building itself was average sized and white, situated in a quiet little ally just off of the main town square. There were numerous tables sprawled outside of it, and by looking in through the windows, Rob could see various other ponies sat around tables, drinking and laughing merrily.

They approached the door and went inside. As well as a rush of hot air, they were greeted by a warm atmosphere, and a number of gasps. Clearly, news about the human was still not fully believed. The duo had to push past a number of ponies to try and find some available seats, and finally, they spotted some near the back of the restaurant. Getting there continued to be a difficult task, mainly due to Twilight’s excessively puffy jacket, but eventually, they reached their destination. Taking a seat near one of the back windows, Rob and Twilight began looking over the menu.

“Sweet Celestia! They have pizza here!”

Twilight noticed her human companion’s outburst of glee, and raised her eyes, looking up at him. “What is it?”

“Nothing, but I thought I’d be subjected to a diet of healthy crap for the rest of my life. Thank the heavens you have some junk food.”

“Junk food?”

“You know, food which tastes great, but is actually pretty bad for you, on the inside I mean.”

“Hmmm, we don’t really have that here. It’s all fairly healthy. Why? What were you looking at?” She looked back over her menu, scanning for what Rob was referring to.

He laughed at her antics and pointed to the pizza. “See Twi, cheese, tomato and bread, proper food which isn’t flowers and hay. Granted, none of the nice stuff but… Good none the less, it’ll do.”

“What kind of ‘nice stuff’ are you talking about?”

“Ugh, never mind, nothing, nothing at all!”

Twilight looked at him sceptically. “If you say so…”

“I do. So, one thing that I’ve been wondering about since we got here; you said that you occasionally came here during study breaks. It took us a good twenty minutes to get here. Aren’t there closer places?”

Twilight smiled widely. “Nope, this is the closest! Besides, we went the long way around, I was enjoying our chat!”

“Figures… Weren’t you tired half an hour ago? Sheesh girl.” She simply laughed.

“Weren’t you too?” She slyly asked back.

“Mmmhmm, I’ve been tired ever since I got here. The mornings are so blissful that I don’t want to get up, and then my days are so tiring, that I can’t wait to go back to bed. It’s a vicious cycle.”

She laughed, “In time, you’ll get used to the lifestyle, trust me.”

“Thanks, so, what are you having then?” He gestured to the menu.

“I was thinking of having the same as you!”

“The pizza, really?”

She nodded. “I figured we’ll get the really big one and share it!”

“If you say so... It works for me.”

“I’m just lucky we aren’t having meatballs and spaghetti, it might end up like Lady and the Tramp all over again…”

“Then it’s settled!” She said enthusiastically, hailing a waitress by waving her left forehoof.

Soon enough, they had ordered their food, and had begun to make small talk during the wait. Rob also found it amusing to do a little ‘pony watching’, throughout the restaurant in the meantime. There were some couples who were married it seemed, and some who were newly dating. He found pony love to be far more simplistic and happy than human love, and could see another positive to the difference in lifestyles.

After not too long of a wait, one giant pizza arrived, topped with numerous vegetarian foodstuffs; it was set down in front of the couple, and took up the majority of the table. A little bit of reshuffling was necessary, in order to move all the hay to Twilight’s side of the pizza, but after that, the two tucked straight in. Luckily for Rob, pizza was one of the few meals you were able to eat with only one hand. It was different to human pizza, like many things in Equestria, and it seemed to be perfectly cooked. One thing the human noticed; was that in the world of ponies, everything was always picture perfect; and, he liked it that way.

“So,” Twilight began, swallowing a mouthful of food, “You said something about a watch breaking on the walk over here? Can I help with anything?”

Rob looked up at her. “Oh that…” He took out his phone. “I presume you’ve never seen one of these before?” She shook her head. “Right, well, this is a mobile phone. It’s a means of communication on my world. Basically, every one of these has its own… code? Which basically, if you know, then you can call it from your own. I don’t really know how it works, but luckily, to use it; you don’t have to!”

“So… It’s a communication device?” She tilted her head as a quizzical look came about her face.

“Mmmhmm, that’s right. But I mean, there’s no one to call here in Equestria, as no one else has one! I’ve basically been using it as a clock for the majority of my time here.”

“I thought you said it was a… Oh wait! It does multiple things, doesn’t it? That’s clever! What kind of magic does it run off of?”

“Haha, it doesn’t, it runs off of electricity.”

She smiled, “How does that work?! We have electricity, but you need to plug things in.”

Rob sighed. “Look, I don’t know… It just does ok. And the problem is that it’s run out.” He paused. “And wait, you’re telling me that for all the magic and stuff you guys have got, you haven’t worked out how to make charged electronic devices!?”

She laughed. “Well, no! Magic is just more efficient to use! We don’t need to waste time and energy by burning fuels when we can simply use magic to be more clean and efficient!”

“This is making magic sound awesome…”

“Well, you might be able to use it too, remember, I cast that spell on you?”

A moment of recognition came over the human as he remembered back to his first night in Equestria. “Suppose so, I haven’t even tried to use it since then… Maybe I’ll give it a shot later. Anyhow, back to the original problem, any idea on how to charge my electronics?”

“Why do you even need them? We can just get you a watch or something.” She asked.

“Well, it’s not my phone I’m worried about, so much as this little thing.” He took out his iPod. “It plays music, and trust me when I say, music is a BIG part of my life.”

“We have music here you know!”

“Not like this you don’t… I highly doubt it anyway…” He said sceptically.

She laughed, “I’ll take your word for it.”

He stuffed another bite into his mouth. “Any ideas then?”

“Only one.” She replied.

“Care to tell the class?”

“Huh?”

“Never mind…” He sighed. “So, what is it?”

She looked straight at him, smile present on her face. “Fancy a trip to Canterlot?”

“Great. Back into the nest of that she-devil…”

He laughed, thinking for a moment. “Yup, sure thing.”

Once dinner had been finished and the two were finally full, another waitress came to present the bill. Rob paid somewhat unskilfully, by presenting a handful of bits to the poor mare when she next sauntered by, and finally, the two were on their way.

Back out in Ponyville, Rob discerned a distinct temperature drop. Twilight noticed as he shifted his hand into his pocket and snuggled down into his hoodie, she made no effort to hide the smirk present on her face. Taking a shorter route than the first time, the two arrived back at the library.

“Phew, I’m glad to be out of that…” Rob stated to no one in particular.

Twilight slyly smiled, “Told you.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Once again, taking his shoes off proved to be a tricky task, and things were only further confused when Twilight tried to aid him with use of her magic. The humorous result ended up with Rob being hung from his left boot, which was suspended in the air by a purple aura. Things were finally sorted out though, and feeling the day’s effects once more, the two headed to bed, tired again, but full this time.

Sneaking past Spike, the two parted with a small wave, before Rob ascended the second flight of stairs up to his room. Once inside, it didn’t take long for him to drift away to sleep. That night, he dreamed of meat, more specifically, bacon. It was surely something he missed greatly.