Spike and Yona groggily ate their breakfast while Shining continued staring at them from afar, obviously still questioning how the two were going to get past their differences in size when it came time to be intimate.

"Ok, you say he'll use his tongue," he said to Cadance in a low voice "But that can't be enough to build the foundations of a relationship right?"

"Shinning you're thinking too much about the physical side and not the emotional side,"

"Oh please I'm not blind Cadance, they are adorable together, but that doesn't change the fact that emotions can only take you so far, a lack of physical attraction could tear a relationship apart given enough time, I just don't want this to go over poorly for Spike,"

Cadance smiled, Shining had lived his life thus far under the idea that his two siblings would remain single till the day he died, and upon finding out Spike was getting married had gone full overprotective brother, despite her having asked them to come, Shining had been the one to toss out the idea, wanting to get the opportunity to properly size up his bothers betrothed. It was obvious to her that he was latching onto this one perceived flaw he had found in their relationship because he was paranoid the small crack was covering up a canyon.

"You two seem sleepy," Cadance noticed as Shining inwardly freated about Spike's future. Spike and Yona chose the path of the sage and kept their mouths busy chewing so as to avoid answering any questions. "You two get down and dirty?"

"No," They both answered at once, Cadance didn't give any outward response, She was the princess of Love, and as the Princess of Love she was getting an odd feeling from the two, and she was fairly certain she had pinned it down to two options.

Either Spike and Yona had bottled themselves up so much that they were now having trouble getting past the first hurdle to intimacy, or they were both Asexual and hadn't quite pinned that fact down themselves yet, leading to the awkwardness of trying to fulfill an obligation that neither of them actually had.

As the Princess of love it was her responsibility to help guide them down their path, and help them she would.

"Alright, lets get down to business, Rarity apparently suffered a delay in the dress and tuxes, so we'll have to push that back to another date, so instead we'll be looking at flower arrangements, she mentioned it'll be easier to doll you two up if you have a theme picked out.

"Yak's have traditional flowers used at weddings," Yona noted with a somewhat concerned look on her face.

"Well, that solves that, I suppose, if Spike doesn't have any complaints, we can-"

"But..." Yona cut in with a grown "...the flowers are called Dragon Sneeze flowers," Spike shivered at the name.

"Me, Ember, and several dozen dragons in a room with Dragon Sneeze flowers forget the wedding that would cause the empire to burn down,"

"It's Crystal," Yona noted.

"Metaphorically," Spike amended "Less the Empire and more the citizens would burn down, I guess," Spike scratched his chin, "I dunno, I probably could have worded it better,"

"Yona gets the point," She noted "How about blue flowers,"

"And just like that, we're done," Spike declared, "Blue flowers picked and ready,"

"Great, we have a basic color down. Now, what kind of blue flower are you looking for, and what specific shades of blue?"

"She got us again," Yona noted.

"Yeah," Spike agreed as he tried to rack his mind for the name of a blue flower of any sort. Having failed to name a flower, Yona and Spike were forced to concede to Cadance and were quickly whisked away to view the empire's selection of blue flowers.

"You shouldn't have named them," Spike whispered to Yona as they walked "Dragon Sneeze flowers would have destroyed the ceremony,"

"Yona wasn't sure how to dance around the name," she replied with a sigh "Suppose we're even on fumbling now,"

"Eh," Spike shrugged, figuring he had caused more roadblocks and jinxes than Yona "We'll just avoid keeping score,"

"So, what flowers should we get?"

"I doubt any of the dragons will care, so just go for one you think Yaks will find an eyesore,"

"Blue flowers are a sign of infidelity," Yona noted with a smile "Sending a Yak Blue flowers usually insinuates your planing to seduce their spouse or offspring as a direct insult to you,"

"What a beautiful culture," Spike noted as a few Crystal ponies failed to approach due to a menacing glare from Yona.

"Very beautiful," Yona agreed, "Yona will teach you; perhaps we will find more exploits if we take a more thorough look,"

"I do enjoy some history," Spike noted, "Far more than I enjoy picking out flowers at least, though maybe not quite as much as I enjoy a good blankety avalanche,"

"Is cheating to compare blanket avalanches to anything," Yona countered as they arrived at the Empire's Greenhouse.

Spike and Yona both felt dead inside as they inspected the umpteenth presentation of Blue flowers. Cadance was working with the ponies of the Greenhouse to find the couple their ideal flower arrangements, but she and just about everyone involved could tell the couple found none of the flowers special.

"Alright, let's take a break," Cadance decided with a clap, "I'll leave you two to ruminate on the flowers while I ask the staff about other options; we have until noon tomorrow, though I'd prefer we finish up with flowers, cake, and rings before you go back to ponyville," Cadance wished them both luck before shooing out the staff and following after them.

"This is a trap," Yona noted immediately.

"Oh yeah," Spike agreed, "She's watching and or listening somehow, somewhere...or maybe Shining is?" Spike solidified his footing on Yona's shoulder by holding onto one of her horns and looking around to try and spot the spy.

"Should we...be romantic?" Yona sounded sick at the question, but Spike had to agree with the thought; if they failed to Pass Cadance's pre-wedding test, it was likely she'd blab to Twilight, and the Dragon Yak war would be back on with Twilight acting as a third party to cause more problems.

"You have awesome horns?" Spike asked.

"That's not romantic; that's just a fact," Yona shot back, "It's like me saying you're conveniently sized for shoulder storage,"

"We'll I hope you don't grow tired of that; if we do get married and have to have Yak Dragon babies, I'll remain this size until our grand things are born,"

"Don't be ridiculous," Yona spat back, "Yak and Dragon can't breed, we'd adopt,"

"Alright, but I want it to be a Griffin; my kid's teen years should be a proper menace on society,"

"Deal," Yona agreed, "But back to Romance, should we...hug?"

"Not to be rude, but you might smother me,"

"Name a better way to die than drowning in cleavage," Yona demanded.

"There isn't one," Spike declared, "But that's not romance. That's probably a fetish...maybe?"

"It's not a fetish," Yona decided without hesitation, "It's just natural, any man who has a love for a woman would happily lay down their life just for a chance to drown in cleavage,"

"Me being dead won't solve things," Spike noted firmly, "I mean I'd get off scot-free, but what about the next dragon, this may come as a shock but Dragonesses don't have boobs, they have shiny chest scales, so despite your decree most Dragons don't care much for boobs,"

"But you do?" Yona asked curiously before pressing up on her chest a little "Rate mine," She demanded firmly, her tone telling Spike she was dead serious.

"Nine out of Ten," he decided after a moment's thought.

"Nine?" Yona questioned, her tone dangerous.

"Oh Please, anyone who says ten out of ten is just trying to butter you up, if you saw my wang and it was the best one you'd ever seen, you'd still only rate it nine at best because ten is saved only for your imagination, a dream of impossible proportions," Spike looked down at her, "Am I wrong?"

"I dunno," Yona scratched her chin, "I'd have to see it first,"

"Mine is an example not the required start," Spike shot back, "I'm tiny, so all my stuff is tiny,"

"What is the average size for a Dragon of your height?"

"How would I know that?" Spike's tone was defensive as he turned his back, still taking care to hold onto her horn to avoid slipping off her shoulder, "Dragons aren't known for their expert record-keeping skills so I'd have to measure it with another Dragon, and that's not ever happening,"

Yona looked at Spike for a very long moment before he looked back at her suspiciously, "No," He added for the sake of safety, Yona's response told him his guess at what she had been about to ask was right on the money.

"I'm gonna have to see it when we get married, Yak tradition requires at least five hours of full body skin-on-skin contact a week after the wedding, You can already see mine are perfect, Yona just wants to make sure she's not being cheated,"

"Well, I'm not stripping in the middle of a greenhouse,"

"No one will see," Yona promised, "And if they do see who cares, they'll just pretend they didn't after I threaten them to keep their mouths shut,"

"What if Cadance and or Shining are Spying on us?" Spike demanded, "What then I just look like a perv and you get off scot-free?"

"Fine, If Yona takes her shirts off you take your pants off," Yona's logic was about as flawless as a Yak's logic could get, Cadance was just making her way back when Spike gave his response.

"We are not stopping in the middle of a Greenhouse," He snapped back, "We have a perfectly fine room,"

"Yona can't give a rating if she doesn't have a metric to go off of," She shot back firmly.

"Don't care, just wait an hour or two," Before Yona could reply they heard a sound and both looked over at Cadance, who had the combined look of trying not to laugh, pride, and maybe feeling just a bit awkward at the situation.

There was a solid moment of silence before both Spike and Yona panicly called out to her as she started laughing at their red faces, "It's not what you think!"

Author's Note

Thinks quickly escalated.