Author's Note

Hi there! Before you read this, I'd like to be very clear about something: I am NOT saying that it's wrong to take precautions for viruses. I myself only leave the house when I need groceries every other week. This chapter and future chapters are not meant to be examples of what you should or shouldn't do. The sole purpose of this is just to make people laugh at such a depressing time. Hope you enjoy! If you do, make sure to leave a thumbs up!

Twilight Sparkle

Dear Diary,

I’ve never written in a private diary before, so I hope I’m doing it correctly. I read a few manuals to learn as much as I could about it, but now that I’m actually doing it, I feel drastically unprepared. Maybe I should just stop now so that I don’t embarrass myself? No, I need to do this. I read in ‘A Basic Guide to Pony Psychology’ that writing your problems down on paper helps to release stress. Not to mention that a lot of my friends already write in diaries.

Well, I feel like I should have some sort of transition, but I’m not really sure how that works, so I suppose I’ll just jump right in.

When I first heard about COVIB-19, I didn’t really think much of it. I just thought it was another meaningless rumor. But yesterday, when Princess Celestia issued the stay-at-home order and declared COVIB-19 an official pandemic, everything changed. I still can’t believe how easily I brushed it off at first! I decided to do a bit of research. After all, as the Princess of Friendship, I felt that it was my responsibility to figure out the best ways to keep everypony safe.

I almost wanted to go through the mirror portal just so that I could use one of those strange mechanical contraptions. I could imagine that my research would have been much easier if I could simply ‘type’ something and have everything related pop up on the ‘screen’. But I didn’t do that, because not only did I think it would be irresponsible to leave my world at a time of such struggle, but I also doubted that the human world would have any information on COVIB-19. I mean, could you imagine humans having to go through a pandemic? They’d probably have it dealt with within an hour with all of their powerful technology.

So since I didn’t have any human technology, the first thing I did was gather all of the newspapers and magazines that had substantial information about the virus. (And of course by, ‘substantial,’ I meant anything that had the words ‘virus’ or COVIB-19 in it anywhere.) It was quite stressful to see how few sources I had to look through. There were only seventy-three newspapers and twenty-nine magazines! I needed to get prepared, not do some light reading!

But even though there might not have been as many sources as I’d hoped, the information that was there was extremely helpful. After the first three newspapers, I knew I needed to make some changes around The Canterlot Castle.

I made it a rule for all of the guards to wear masks, as well as standing no closer than seven feet away from each other. (The newspapers said six feet, but I added an extra foot for good measure.) I felt much better about everypony’s safety after implementing that, but I still thought it would definitely be a good idea to read the other seventy newspapers and all of the magazines.

Each article brought a new revelation. The symptoms were fever, coughing, and fatigue. I made sure to take note of that so that I could be absolutely sure that not I, nor anypony I associated with, showed any of them. At one point, I walked across the hall to go to the bathroom, and I saw a guard yawning. I sent him home immediately of course. I just hope I wasn’t too late. What if I’d somehow caught it from him? What would ponies do if their princess was infected? But, I wasn’t showing symptoms, so I was still pretty sure that I would be fine.

Twelve more articles later, I learned that that was most definitely not the case. Apparently, some ponies who tested positive for the virus showed no symptoms at all! So I could have had it the whole time and given it to some of my guards! Then it would have spread among them, and then they would go home and spread it to their families, and pretty soon all of Equestria would be infected! Before, I would’ve thought that since I hadn’t touched any of them, they would be fine, but the last magazine I had read had said something about cross contamination.

If my understanding of cross contamination was correct, that meant that if I even stepped on the same spot as somepony who had the virus, I was likely to get it myself! Immediately, I informed all the guards that they were now required to wear disposable shoes, and every three hours, they must burn their old shoes and put on new ones. A few of them quit, which I could completely understand. After all, even with all the precautions that I was taking, there was still a risk, and I didn’t want anypony to be out of their houses if they didn’t feel comfortable.

When I got to the last few dozen articles, I started to get very confused. Some ponies were saying that the symptoms were loss of taste and smell, headache, and nausea, but I was sure that that conflicted with other articles that I’d read. I went back and reread several things, and in the end, I realized that I simply had to be extra weary of all of the possible symptoms.

Right now, I still have two magazines and two newspapers left to read, but I’m pretty sure I have most of the possible situations covered. The whole castle is covered in plastic wrap that’s to be replaced every few hours, and I installed a spraying system that sprays everything with disinfectant whenever I feel that it’s necessary.

I’m not sure yet what I’m going to do about eating food, but I’m not that hungry. I’ve gone long amounts of time without access to food before. I’ll be fine.

Wow! Writing in a diary really does release stress! Although, I have to admit that I’m still a bit worried. I know I’m doing my best, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s enough.

Signing off,

Twilight