Dear Diary,

Why do ponies always start diary entries with ‘Dear Diary’? And why is the D in Diary always capitalized? Is Diary a living creature? Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! Are you? Huh? I haven’t hugged another creature in fifty-eight hours, twenty-four minutes, and thirty-three seconds, so I think I’ll hug you just in case you are.

I’m not sure how you could be alive, but if me and my friends can turn bad guys into stone with magical rainbows or get sucked into a magical comic book and turn into superheroes, I’m sure it’s possible. But wait! If you are a pony, am I even allowed to hug you? I mean, I know social distancing isn’t a law or anything, but Mr. and Mrs. Cake are doing it, and since I live with them at Sugarcube Corner, I don’t want to disrespect them in any way. Much less compromise their business. That’s why I’m social distancing.

Speaking of social distancing, it's making me really, really, really bored, and I’m not quite sure what I should do today. Want to help me decide?

Maybe I’ll have another tea party with Gummy! Or maybe I’ll have a birthday party for Fernando and invite my entire straw collection! Or I could jump on my bed for a few hours, or ride the slide to my party planning cave again and again until I get dizzy, or eat a batch of buttercream frosting, or practice flying with my tail, or sing a song about sunshine and smiling, or have a staring contest with Gummy, or write another rapp, or practice waving my eyebrows at myself in the mirror, or repaint my room, or refriz my hair, or mail a box of confetti to somepony, or fire my party cannon in my room over and over until Mrs. Cake asks me to stop, or blow balloons or…

Hey Diary! Sorry I left for a few minutes! I ran out of ink. Anyway, I-

Wait. Is that a real-life, living, breathing pony walking unsuspectingly by my window? I’ll be right back, Diary. Sorry to leave again so soon!

And I’m back! It was Vinyl Scratch outside my window, the straps of her mask tied to her headphones. Can you believe it?! What were the chances that I’d see her? She only walks by Sugarcube Corner every single day!

Of course, I jumped out of my window, and at the last second, I grabbed the edge of the roof with my back hooves, casually hanging from the edge six feet away from her. I used my Pinkie Sense to avoid a falling flower pot that I’d accidentally knocked over on my way out the window.

“Hi! I haven’t talked to anypony except the Cakes in forever! How are you? How’s quarantine? Made any new remixes lately?” I asked. She just walked by, her headphones leaving her completely oblivious to me and my words.

The fact that she didn't even notice me makes me a little sad, but I think I just found my new COVIB-19 hobby! Pony watching. Just because I'm not leaving the property of Sugarcube Corner or getting any closer than six feet away from ponies doesn't mean I can't sit on the roof with my binoculars, waiting for ponies to walk by!

By the way, I'm climbing up to the top of the roof while I'm writing this. How is that possible, you may ask? The same way that I can play ten instruments at once and defy the laws of physics whenever it's convenient: It's a secret.

Don't give me that 'Nobody would ever know. I'm just a diary.' I trust you to know my secret, just not that strange two-legged creature from another dimension that's reading this off of an electronic screen. What, you didn't notice them? Get it together, Diary! They've been there the whole time!

Anyway, it's been a whole ten seconds, and no ponies have walked by yet, so I'm thinking maybe I need to encourage them. I'll be right back, Diary.

Well, my voice is a little sore, but I think it worked!

My idea was brilliant! There may not have been any ponies outside around Sugarcube Corner, but there were tons of ponies inside the houses near Sugarcube Corner. All I had to do was scream loud enough that they could all hear me, and then they'd come out!

"HEY EVERYPONY! WANNA COME OUT AND TALK TO ME? DON'T WORRY! I'LL STAY SIX FEET AWAY!"

I got a few ponies to open their curtains, but nopony opened their windows to yell back, nor did anypony come out of their houses. I figured that I wasn't loud enough, so I tried again.

"HELLO? CAN YOU PONIES HEAR ME? IT'S PINKIE PIE! WON'T SOMEPONY COME OUT AND TALK TO ME?"

Even after that, I got no answer, but that was like, twenty minutes ago, and I’ve called out dozens more times since then. (Yes, I know I should just start an entry and not stop to do something else until I finish it, but I have a short attention span, okay?)

I still know that my plan worked though, because I can see an older stallion in a police uniform walking into Sugarcube Corner right now. He has to be here to talk to me. There's no other explanation. And even if that’s not why he’s here, I can still talk to him anyway! I'm climbing back down into my room and shutting my window. Hold on one second, Diary. Somepony is knocking on my door.

Sorry Diary, but it looks like I have to go. Mrs. Cake just came in and yelled a bunch of stuff about neighbors being bothered by my screaming, and something about somepony reporting to the police that I 'disturbed the peace' or something like that. The important part of what she said is that there's a police pony downstairs, waiting to talk to me. Told you it worked!

Finally, I get to have a conversation with somepony besides the Cakes for the first time in the longest fifty-nine hours, two minutes, and seventeen seconds of my life! I'm so excited!

Bye!

Pinkie

Author's Note

Hi again!

I know I sort of shattered the fourth wall, but if Equestria Girls Pinkie Pie could know that Twilight was a magical pony princess from another world, regular Pinkie Pie could know that you were reading this story... Right?

Thanks for reading! Remember to leave a thumbs up if you liked this chapter, and feel free to comment with your thoughts.