The Reluctant Protector

It was quiet on the way back to our room. Or perhaps tense would be a better word. The sound of my soft feet barely audible on the cold marble floor. Contrasted by the steady and rhythmic ‘clop, clop, clop’ of Celestia’s hooves and the light jingle of the two guards’ armour. Celestia spoke up. “Alert my sister and prepare for-”

“Belay that.” I interrupted.

“Artemis?”

“Not here.” We were quiet once more.

I opened the door to our room and ushered the three of them inside. “Um… Your majesty, what now?” One of the guards asked while I got dressed in my now clean, plain white shirt and black pants.

I started looking around the room, inspecting the small vents along the picture rail near the ceiling while I waited for Celestia’s answer. Damn. All the grates where still screwed into place. So that rules that out… I walked over to the closet. Celestia still didn’t answer. I looked to her and she was looking at me. “What?” I asked.

She cleared her throat and said, with not a little bit of mirth, “My guard asked you a question.”

What.

Both guards where shuffling nervously from hoof to hoof. “I’m your majesty?” I asked.

Celestia rolled her eyes. “Well you are a Princess, are you not?”

I crossed my arms. “Celestia, we agreed-”

“We did.” She said, holding up a hand. “And quite frankly, I’m sick of it.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You’re ‘sick of it’?”

She nodded. “Sick of it.” I shook my head and started rummaging through the closet. Celestia continued. “I’ve alerted the guard and castle staff to you position. No one else knows. We tried it your way, out of the spotlight, protecting the realm from the shadows. But that was a long time ago. Times change, Artemis. Now, we have a more coordinated army-” I scoffed. “-and the elements of harmony for major threats.” Nothing of note in the closet either. Damn.

I stared into the closet with a knitted brow. Where was that thing hiding? I felt two hands on either shoulder. “We are going to tell the public soon and you will take your rightful place as fourth Princess of Equestria.”

I had lots of questions and grievances but said the one thing that came to mind. “Fourth?”

Celestia giggled from behind me. “A question for later.” Okay…

She sighed. “I want you at my side, love. I’ve discussed it with Luna. She would be more than happy to add another chair to the throne room. Ruling together with her sister and best friend? I barely had started to ask before she was jumping up and down like a filly on Hearths Warming.” I said nothing and smiled slightly. It does sound nice… She pulled me backwards slightly until I was locked in a hug from behind. She rested her head on my back. “Please. Come home.”

I turned and wrapped my arms around her. “I’ll think about it.”

She held tighter. “No. No don’t think about it. Just say yes! Please, please just say yes.” She was trembling. “Don’t leave me alone again, Artemis. Please, I’m begging you, don’t leave me alone. I can’t do it again I can’t-”

I cut her off with a kiss. She calmed immediately. I held her head in my hands and used my thumbs to wipe away the tears. “I’m not going anywhere. You hear me? Not again.” I held her close again. “Not again.”

“So… Does that mean you’ll do it?”

“Will it make you happy?”

She nodded emphatically. “Yes, very much so.”

I’m so going to regret this… I closed my eyes in resignation. Celestia squealed and jumped up and down clapping her hands. Before she realised that there where still two guards in the room and immediately stopped, cleared her throat and straightened out her gown. She may act dignified but she couldn’t hide the red tinge on her cheeks. I decided to save her and turned to her guards.

“What are your names?”

“Swift Strike, Princess.” Said the one on the left.

“Cobalt, Princess.” Said the one on the right.

“Swift Strike and Cobalt.” I said, felling the names in my mouth. “Swift Strike and Cobalt. Do I need to tell you what will happen to you if word of this conversation gets out?”

“Ma’am,” Cobalt said. “We are the Princess’ personal guards. We see and hear a lot of things, it’s our job to protect, not spread gossip.” Swift was nodding along.

I smiled. “Good.” I sighed. “Now, back to business. That creature must have been in here a while. I’ve checked the ventilation and the closet but nothings out of place…” Celestia looked to the bed. I facepalmed. “Duh.” I walked over to the bed, got down on all fours and lifted the decorative, velvet trim along the bottom of the bedframe. “Oh hells…”

Celestia backed up a step and her and both guards all got into a fighting stance. “What is it?” Celestia asked. I dropped the velvet trim and joined them, backing up too.

“Nothing good.” I replied. “Help me lift this.”

She nodded, her horn and the large gem on the end of my staff lit. A golden, sparkling aura covered the bed, a sign of Celestia’s magic. The aura mixed with the pale blue, almost white, wisps of my own. I raised my staff and the bed began to lift.

It was a large, solid oak, four poster bed. It was heavy. But it shouldn’t have been that heavy. Almost like it was stuck to the floor. I poured a bit more will into my staff and the bed began to lift with a disgusting squelch. Neon orange… stuff, stretched as the bed was lifted, connecting it to the floor. Like pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich, the gelatinous orange fibres didn’t break, even as the bed was moved to the side and instead, oozed like a non-Newtonian fluid as the bed was still.

A smell hit then, a smell that made all four of us back up further and cover our nose and mouth. While it did make me want to throw up, it wasn’t because it was a foul stench. It was disgustingly, painfully sweet. Although I don’t eat much and dinner was a while ago, it made me feel instantly full. Like if another thing entered my stomach, even a glass of water, I would have no choice but to vomit.

Swift gave a brief apology before he did just that.

“What in gods name...?” Cobalt asked. I walked hesitantly closer to the patch of sickly-sweet goo and noticed a perfect indentation. One that was exactly proportioned for a bipedal, insectoid monster. The thing had been completely encased in this… Honey?

“Well…” I said. “That solves that mystery…”

Celestia stood next to me. “It was under there while we…” She covered her mouth and I put an arm around her shoulders. “Oh no…”

“Princesses, Look.” Cobalt pointed to where the hooves of the creature would have been. My eyes lit up.

“Good spot Cobalt.” I said and kneeled down to have a closer look. I turned around to look at Swift Strike, he was still wiping his mouth. “Swift, could you go wake my apprentice, fill her in on the details. Don’t alert Princess Luna.” He nodded and quickly left the room. Poor guy.

“Why don’t you want to tell my sister?” Celestia asked.

“Because,” I grunted, standing back up. “If this thing was under your bed, it’s safe to assume there is one under Lunas right now. Waiting for her to sleep, like it did with us.” Celestia’s eyes widened.

“Then what are we waiting for?” Cobalt asked. “Let’s go there now and capture it.” He turned and started towards the door.

“Hold, Cobalt.” Celestia said. “We need a plan of attack before attempting to do… anything with this creature or creatures if that is indeed the case.”

“She’s right.” I said. “From what we saw earlier, this thing is extremely skittish and fast. We only have one shot at this or it will get away.”

Cobalt closed his eyes. “Of course.” He bowed slightly. “Forgive me.”

“There’s nothing to forgive.” Celestia said with a smile. He looked relieved.

The door opened and Swift walked in with Lyra following behind. Heavy bags under her eyes and one side of her hair sticking straight up. Celestia smiled in amusement and I grinned. She came and stood in front of me. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she was still asleep. She made no attempt to look me in the eyes, arms dangling limply at her sides. “Goo’ Murnin’” She said.

I smiled wider and used my hand to slick down her half-head cow lick. “Good morning to you too my apprentice.” She grumbled and wobbled as I worked. When she looked half-way presentable, I asked, “Did you have a good sleep?” I got an affirmative grunt in response. “Good. Did Swift fill you in?” Another grunt. “Good. Come and look at this.”

She got closer and the smell woke her up instantly. She recoiled and covered her nose. “Ugh, what in the world is that!? It's like Bon-Bon's shop times a million!”

“Swift told you about the creature?” I asked she nodded. “It seemed to be insectoid in nature. I’m guessing this,” I gestured to the… mess. “Is some kind of honey.” I moved to what Cobalt pointed out earlier. She followed. “What do you make of this?” At the bottom of where one of the creature’s hooves would have been was a channel. As if one of the legs was much longer than the rest. The channel stretched from the hoof imprint to the wall.

“Um…” Lyra scratched her head. She looked to Celestia.

“It’s okay.” I said, regaining her attention. “There are no wrong answers. I just want to know what you think.”

She nodded and got closer. “Well… Swift said you checked all the vents?” I nodded. “Did you check all of them?”

I shrugged. “I assume so.”

She pointed to where the channel lead to where head of the bed would have been. “It leads to the goop on the wall there. Maybe there’s something under it?”

“Are you asking me or are you telling me?”

She looked at me, licked her lips nervously then looked to the wall. After a few seconds, she nodded and said, “I’m telling you.”

I smiled. “Very well. Swift Strike?”

He stepped forward “Yes, Ma’am?”

I held out my hand. “Spear.” He handed me the weapon and I moved to the wall and began scraping. Unlike the rest of the substance, this was brittle and crusty, almost like it had been there a while. I grimaced as it flaked off and the ponies in the room backed up a step. Eventually my scraping revealed something. A shiny, copper grate. Not unlike a shiny copper grate of a vent. I turned to Lyra and smiled. “Well done.”

She smiled and blushed. Celestia gripped her shoulder and smiled too. Her blush deepened. I handed the weapon back to Swift and inspected the vent. “Huh,” I said. “The vent is loose.”

“Great.” Celestia said. “If it uses the vents it could be anywhere in the palace by now.”

I nodded and stood back up away from the vent. “True.” I thought for a moment. “Our top priority right now is finding out if there are more of them. The easiest way to do that is checking under Luna’s bed.”

“Agreed.”

“The only problem with that is, we know they’re fast. They can get into vents quickly going by how fast it disappeared when I turned the corner earlier. So, we need to check without alerting anything under the bed that we’re doing so.”

“Hmm.” Celestia thought for a moment. “I could alert her via telepathy?”

“No don’t do that. Any change in her behaviour could alert it.”

“Then what do you propose?”

I thought for a bit. “Okay…” I thought some more. “I think I have two plans.”

Celestia nodded. “Go on.”

“One is stealthy and one is not.”

“That’s okay,” Celestia said. “I'm sure they’re better than nothing.”

I nodded. “In that case, stealthy plan first: A very small pony creeps though the vents and out under Luna’s bed. This would have to be done very quietly so as to not alert the creature. Then, the pony would sneak up to the creature’s hooves and tickle it so that the creature has to get out from under the bed where we will be waiting with a net to capture it.”

The four ponies in the room looked at me. Looks ranging from shock to complete disappointment. As was my wife’s case. She put her hands on her hips. “What are you, five?”

I looked like it was obvious. “Could a five-year-old do this?” I pulled a stupid face.

Celestia sighed and facepalmed. Lyra laughed. Celestia rubbed her temples. “Please tell me you have an actual plan…”

“You mean another plan?”

“No! I mean a plan that is not completely inane.”

I sighed. “Fine. I do have something, but it has a high margin for error.”

“What is it?”

I knocked on the door to Luna’s room. I relieved both guards standing either side and they left without too much of a fuss. Probably due to them being told I’m a Princess. Woopdy-doo. A small, ‘come in’ from the other side and I entered. Luna was dressed in a thin, conservative night-gown and she was holding a book in one hand. “Artemis!” She smiled. “We weren’t expecting you.”

“Hey, Lu.” I said, slowly closing the door behind me. “Getting ready for bed?”

“Indeed. We have finally finished our paperwork and where just moving on to the third book in the Daring Do series. Are you aware of them?” I shook my head. “Oh, we shall have to let you borrow them sometime. The element of loyalty told me about them some time ago and we must confess, we have become a sort of… What are they called…?” She thought for a moment, “Fan mare?” I shrugged and nodded. She nodded once and continued. “Well, anyway, we think you would really enjoy them. The historical inaccuracies can get a bit-”

I took a wider stance, pointed my staff at her bed, and shouted, “Glacies!”

Words have power in magic. Or rather, in the magic I, and now my apprentice, practice. You can perform a small amount of magic by just exerting your will on the environment. Lighting candles and chilling a drink in the summer is all well and good, but put a medium between your will and an effect, such as my staff, and the magic gets exponentially more powerful.

Adding a word relating to the effect into the mix is like adding a catalyst to a chemical reaction. The magic knows exactly what I want it to do and does it quickly.

With the combination of my will, the medium and the catalyst. Pure, arcane ice flew from the tip of the glowing crystal on my staff and covered the bed, as well as the surrounding wall and floor. Luna leapt back. “Artemis! Just what in Tartarus do you think you’re doing!?”

I wanted to be sure I caught the bugger, so I kept my staff pointed at the bed and shouted, “Glacies!” again. The bed was now coated in an inch-thick layer of hard ice that flowed with the now frozen sheets in thick icicles to the floor. More icicles hung from the curtains and rail of the poster bed, long and thin like so many teeth. It was remarkably beautiful in the flickering candlelight.

“Wha- You- Huh?” Luna tried to speak.

“Sorry, Lu. A lot has happened.”

Celestia and Lyra came running in. “Is it done?” Lyra asked. “Did you get it?”

“Well,” I said. “I froze the bed. But did I get it? I don’t know yet.”

Swift Strike and Cobalt ran inside next and took a battle stance. “We’re ready your highness!”

“Will someone please tell us what is happening!?” Luna shouted.

Celestia walked to her and lead her to Luna’s desk. “Come, sister. I shall fill you in.”

While Celestia was doing that I turned to the other three ponies. “Okay gang, let’s get to work.” They moved towards the bed but I stopped Lyra. “Hey, did you manage that homework?”

She gave a smug smile, reached into her pocked and pulled out the rock. She held it in her hand and concentrated. The stone wiggled, then stilled. Then wiggled some more until finally floating up into the air. “Holy crap, Lyra! You did it!”

“I did it!” She repeated. “That’s probably why I was so tired before. I was up for a while trying to get it to work.” She looked away. “I wanted something to show you.” I hugged her and the stone dropped to the ground.

“I’m proud, Lyra. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting any progress so quickly. Then again, you did get through my barrier in the Everfree.”

“I almost gave up. But then I just stopped thinking about it so hard. I took a deep breath like you’ve been telling me and was like, ‘Just float, you dumb stone!’ and it did!”

I patted her head. “That’s my girl.”

“Princess?” Cobalt said. “Sorry to interrupt, but we could use some help here.”

“Right.” I looked at Lyra. “Care to be of assistance?”

She smiled. “I’d be glad to.”

We walked up to the foot of the bed. “Stand aside boys, prepare to watch professionals at work.” Lyra stood beside me proudly. I gestured with my staff and sent an effort of will though it. I could feel the ethereal energy pulling on the frozen object. I could have pulled it up with an almighty tug, but I wanted Lyra to help.

She put both her hands out in front of herself with her fingers spread and closed her eyes. I felt the ethereal pull become stronger, but it wasn’t quite enough. I looked to Lyra whose face was scrunched in concentration. “Remember the stone, Lyra.” I spoke softly. Her face twitched then relaxed. She took a deep breath, then let it go.

A thunderous crack echoed through the room and shards of ice and frozen wood exploded in all directions as the bed was lifted free of the floor and wall. I raised my staff a little higher as Lyra did the same with her arms. The bed moved off to the left and we set it down gently.

Lyra took a shuddering breath then opened her eyes. She beamed and grabbed me, jumping up and down. “I did it! I did it! I did it!”

“Very well done, friend.” Luna said as her and Celestia joined us. “Let us see if all this trouble was worth it.”

“Oh, it was worth it alright.” Swift said as he pointed to the spot that was once under the bed. Sure enough, in an indentation in the frozen goop lay one of the creatures. Completely frozen solid. Its black chitin looked grey with the layer of frost. Freezing the thing also had the added benefit of preventing that nauseating smell.

“Is it still alive?” Celestia asked. “Will it be able to be thawed out safely?”

“…Yes…?” I said after a while.

Celestia gave me a look. “Are you asking me or are you telling me?”

I looked at her and suddenly felt very small. “…Telling you…”

Lyra snorted. Celestia nodded. “Very well.” She looked to the two guards. “When this thing unfreezes.” She looked at me. “If it’s even alive.” I whistled innocently. “I want it in cuffs and in an interrogation room.”

They both saluted. “Yes, your highness!”

Celestia looked to me, Luna and Lyra. “Come, lets go to my study. I’m calling in the elements.”

Oh goody.