The Reluctant Protector

Hours into the day, the four of us were sat in Celestia’s study and Luna was getting annoyed. She was up way past her bedtime and was fussing like a foal. “This is Painful!” She said, bags under her eyes. “These creatures have ruined our precise sleep schedule.” She lay on her back, taking up the entirety of one couch, whilst me and Lyra were sat on the opposite one. Celestia sat at her desk reading through some papers. A grandfather clock was ticking away monotonously in the otherwise quiet room and dispersed birdsong fluttered in from outside.

“Maybe if you sat up straight like a Princess, you wouldn’t be tempted to fall asleep.” I scolded.

Lyra was way out of her element and I felt sorry for her. Most of the time she’s around either princess, she’s very quiet. I can’t blame her though. It was only a few weeks ago she was an excitable, speak-her-mind mare. Now, she’s been thrust into a life that she hadn’t even begun to think about, with friends in very high places. I’m sure she’ll come out of her shell soon. She sat there quietly, hands placed in her lap, trying not to grin as the alcoholic admonished one of the most powerful beings in the realm.

“But we are so bored!” The Princess of the night whined. She slumped further into the, admittedly very comfortable, couch. “Sister, why could you not have taught young Twilight about ley-line travel?”

Celestia scoffed. “Luna please,” She said without looking up from her papers. “No one would be stupid enough to use ley-line travel in this day and age.”

What.

Lyra looked to me worriedly.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” I said shaking my head. “Time out. You told me in the letter you sent to ‘take the fastest rout’. Ergo, I used a ley-line with Lyra.” Lyra nodded to Celestia. Luna let out a bark of laughter.

“I know.” Celestia said. “‘Take the fastest rout’. I think the Ponyville to Canterlot train is only four or five hours.” You have got to be kidding me…

Lyra gave a heaving sigh and slumped further into the couch. Her posture now matching the Princess of the night. “That’s what I told her…” She said to no one.

I was so confused. “But… But… You had a guard meet us at the fountain! You knew we would use it!” I said perched on the edge of the couch.

Celestia finally looked up from her papers. “I didn’t know you would use it. Both myself and Luna suspected it. We had a guard waiting at the train station too.” She shook her head. “Honestly, Artemis. What were you thinking? You of all people know what happens to ley-lines over time. Count yourself lucky you didn’t end up in the far east or unexplored west. What would you have done then, hmm?” She went back to looking through the papers. Lyra gulped.

“We are sorry.” Said Luna. “The Canterlot to Ponyville ley-line truly is safe to use, but we want you to be more careful from now on. Don’t go using ley-lines unless we know for certain they are safe. As my sister has said, a lot can change in the time you have been gone. I learned the hard way myself.”

“What happened?” Lyra asked.

Luna sighed and Celestia answered for her. “Let’s just say that the Emperor of Neighpon no longer disputes the fact that my sister has returned.”

I can’t believe they didn’t just tell me… “I know you like your jokes, hun. And I know you like to teach lessons. But that’s just cruel. You know it hurts, right? I had to practically restrain Lyra.”

“You did restrain me!” Lyra shouted.

“I did restrain her!” I corrected.

“Then let this be a lesson that the simplest solution is usually the easiest.” Celestia said.

I folded my arms and slumped into the couch, my posture now matching the other annoyed ponies in the room. “I taught you that…” I grumbled.

About forty-five minuets later, a knock sounded from the door and Cobalt entered. He bowed. “Princesses. The elements of harmony have arrived.”

“Finally…” Luna said quietly, sitting up straight.

Celestia ignored her. “Thank you, corporal. Please show them in.” He nodded and left.

The door opened once more and six ponies entered. I recognised Twilight Sparkle. The Cyan mare with the rainbow mane that tackled me back in Ponyville. Then, there was a pink mare with curly hair who came skipping in, saw me, and stopped dead. We stared at each other.

“You!” I said standing up. She said nothing. I picked up my staff and walked towards her. “What do you think you’re doing here?” The ‘mare’ backed up a step and the cyan one got in my face, aetherised wings glowing on her back.

“Hey back off! What’s your problem?”

I glared at her. “You’d better back down little pony.”

“Or what?”

I stepped a little closer. “Or-”

“Enough.” Said Celestia.

I turned to her. “Did you know you had this,” I pointed to the pink one. “Living in one of your villages?”

Celestia closed her eyes. “Our villages.” She corrected. “And I am aware of Miss Pie’s condition, yes.”

I stepped a bit closer to her. “And what are you doing about it?”

“I am doing nothing about it. Miss Pie happens to be the element of laughter.”

I stopped. “You’re joking.” I turned to Luna. “She’s joking, right?”

Luna sighed. “I had the same reaction as you when I found out. Luckily, Miss Pie and her immediate family have proven to be nothing like their kin.”

I looked dubiously to the pink one and sighed. “You remember what I told you back in the village?” She nodded. I sighed and sat back down on the couch.

“Um… Princess?” Twilight said to Celestia. “What was that about?”

“Nothing Twilight.” Celestia said with a smile, quickly moving the subject along. “Why don’t you introduce your friends?”

“Right.” She stepped to the side and pointed to each mare in turn. “This is Rarity, the element of generosity.”

“Charmed.” Said the ivory white mare with the purple curled mane and tail.

“Applejack, the element of honesty.”

“Howdy.” The orange mare said as she tipped her worn stetson hat.

“And the mare hiding behind Applejack is Fluttershy. You’ll have to forgive her, she’s not too fond of strangers. She represents the element of kindness.” I couldn’t really get a good look at her, but she said something quietly that I assumed to be a greeting. “You already know me, obviously.” She said with a nervous laugh. “Then, the confrontational one here is Rainbow Dash and the ‘pink one’ as you put it is Pinkie Pie. We’re the elements of magic, loyalty and laughter respectively.”

“Girls.” Twilight continued with a small smile. “This is Princess Artemis. Protector of the Realm.” Queue various gasps. Twilight looked to Celestia as if seeking approval. For what, I don’t know. “And Wife of Princess Celestia.” Queue more gasps. “She’s also a ‘Human’.” The shy one, the element of kindness, perked up at this and leaned around the element of honesty to get a better look.

I gave an awkward smile and spoke to Celestia. “Did you tell her to introduce me like that?”

“I don’t know what you mean.” She responded.

“So, is that my new title is it? ‘Protector of the Realm’?”

Twilight spoke up. “Technically, it’s ‘Princess Protector of the Realm’.” She folded her arms. “It makes sense if you think about it, Princess Celestia is the Princess of the Sun, Princess Luna is Princess of the Moon, Cadance is the Princess of Love-”

“Cadance?”

“-And you are the Princess Protector of the Realm.”

I turned to Celestia. “Who’s Cadance?”

“Wait, you don’t know who Cadance is?” Twilight asked.

I huffed and looked over my shoulder to her. “Do you have to work at butting in, or is it your special talent?”

Twilight looked down to the ground.

“How rude.” The element of generosity said quietly, as she put an arm around Twilight.

I ignored them and turned back to Celestia, waiting. She cleared her throat. “Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, though she prefers to go by Cadance, is the third princess I was telling you about. She’s currently on a diplomatic mission in the east, so you won’t be able to meet her yet.”

“Huh…” I said, thinking. Celestia shuffled a bit. “There’s more?” I asked.

“She’s… Also…”

“Yes…?”

“She’s… My niece.”

Silence.

“What!?” I spun around to face Luna.

Luna held up her hands. “Adoptive! Adoptive! She is of no relation to us, we swear!”

I didn’t know weather to laugh or cry. I settled for collapsing on the couch. “Luna, If I had missed the birth of your child, I’m not sure I could live with myself.”

Celestia sat on the arm of the couch and held my hand. Luna smiled and sat next to me, taking my other. “Artemis,” she said. “Our dearest friend. If you had missed the birth of our child, we’re not sure we would let you.”

I turned to her. She was looking at me with sympathy. Despite the look on her face, she couldn’t stop the corners of her mouth rising. Pretty soon we where both laughing and I gave a weary sigh. Looking to Celestia I said, “Can I please have my flask?”

She smiled. “Yes, I suppose this occasion calls for it.” She reached into her robe and handed it to me. I took a sip. Despite the fact that she’s, sort of… Rationing me, I guess? She had replaced the homemade alcohol I brewed with a top shelf bourbon. I closed my eyes, letting the burning taste with vanilla-caramel notes, wash down my throat and settle happily in my stomach. She’s a good egg, that Celly.

I gave a thankful sigh as the other mares in the room got more comfortable. And we where quiet for a bit. “What’s she like?” I asked, my eyes still closed.

“Cadance?” Celestia asked. I grunted affirmatively. “Well, she was Twilights foal-sitter for the majority of her life until she was accepted to my school. Perhaps she would be better telling you?”

Twilight spoke up. “Oh, Cadance is wonderful. She’s kind, generous, caring. She was my second-best friend growing up, only slightly behind my B.B.B.F.F.”

Celestia whispered in my ear. “Her big brother best friend forever.” I didn’t comment, I simply gave another affirmative grunt and took another small sip.

“So, is she an alicorn or what?” I asked.

“She is.” Celestia confirmed. “She was actually the only pegasus in an all earth pony village. However, the story behind that is not mine to tell. She is a recent addition to royalty. She ascended into an alicorn about…” She thought for a bit. “Eighteen years ago?”

“How’d that happen?” I asked.

Celestia sniffed. “I don’t want to steal her thunder. I’m sure she’d rather tell you herself.”

“Does she know about me?”

“She’s heard the stories. She doesn’t know you’re back though.”

A knock came from the door and Cobalt entered once more. Once again, he bowed and said, “Princesses, the prisoner is ready.”

“Thank you, corporal.” Said Celestia.

Luna stood and stretched. “Ah, the fates are kind after all…”

Celestia looked to the newly arrived mares. “Did Twilight inform you of why you’re all here, or did she keep you in suspense the entire time?” She said with a slight smirk.

The element of honesty stepped forward and in a thick southern accent said, “She told us yer highness. Or at least, ah think she did. Somethin’ about a monster on the loose in the palace?” The element of kindness seemed to draw in on herself more when her friend said this.

Celestia nodded. “That is the gist of it. Follow me and I’ll give you more detail…”

We arrived, after an overly long walk, in the palace dungeons. The walls and floor where a vast contrast to the harsh, oppressive marble of the palace above, that seemed to scream ‘you are important’. Now replaced by a harsh, oppressive granite that seemed to scream ‘you are nothing’.

That oppressiveness stretched further than the environment and invaded the mind. The layout of the place was intended to absorb sound. Small pyramids carved into the rock. Set up to disrupt and disperse soundwaves. They pointed towards the floor in the arching tunnels and only served to increase the feeling that the world was against you.

The architecture, combined with the millions of tonnes of rock above us, cooperated to give one a feeling of… wrongness. So silent that one could hear their inner workings. The rush of blood through the veins. The Gurgling of the digestive system. If one was particularly feeble, the grinding of bone against bone. The only company a prisoner could keep would be their inner monologue, a valued companion or a hateful tormentor, now deafening and unavoidable. Scrying orbs where placed in every corner, keeping watch twenty-four seven. The guards only entered when they had business. Such as adding or removing a ‘resident’. Keeping a guard in these tunnels would be cruel. Hells, even I feel like I’ve done something wrong.

I’m not sure whether to be proud or ashamed to say this was all my design. Either way, it was apparently an excellent crime deterrent. The place was empty and impeccably clean. The steel bars of the jagged cells gleamed in the torchlight. All of the cell doors were open, ready to receive new ‘visitors’, but we passed them all by. The clopping of the ponies’ hooves sounded very odd as their residual reverberation was taken, as if confiscated by an invisible warden, and my breathing was obnoxiously loud in my head.

We arrived at a closed door at the end of our journey. The guard brought out a ring of keys, inserted one into a lock and twisted. The door opened slowly and heavily but made no sound, its hinges greased to perfection and we all stepped inside. The room was a very welcome respite and looked almost normal as sound returned. Padded, comfortable looking chairs where arranged around a knee high – for ponies – coffee table. Stains of residual brews could be seen. Use a coaster, damn it.

A small kitchenette took up one corner and a standing desk took another with various papers and an open file. A candle with a green flame stood tall and proud in a lantern on the desk, the wax immaculate and the wick pure white. Sound wasn’t an issue inside, unlike the twisting corridors before it. The walls where ordinary and were painted a light grey that was calming on the eyes. Various colourful posters dotted the walls, one with a group of ponies flying above a stadium with a roaring crowd.

Another was a poster of Luna. Standing proud and staring into the eye of the artist, aetherised wings flared and horn alight. Behind her were rows and rows of ponies stood at attention wearing dark armour. Beneath her image were the words, ‘The Night Guard Needs You!’ in bold font.

Another poster showed a topless mare from behind. She was a pegasus if her dark, swirling, wing marks were anything to go by. They stretched from the top of her shoulder blades, down her back in swirling patterns and proved to be a lovely contrast to her perspiring light gold coat. They ended just an inch away from her bottom, which was barely covered by light green combat pants, not pulled up enough to cover herself. Her fiery tail was moved to the side, and her head was turned over her shoulder, giving a very suggestive look towards the artist. The words underneath her said, ‘How’s my flying?’ in swirling script.

“Is that regulation?” I asked the guard on duty.

“Damn it…” He said under his breath. “Um… No, ma’am. I don’t think it is.”

“Mm.” I agreed. “I don’t think it is either.” I gestured with my hand and sent a small amount of will through it. The poster featuring the mare was summarily torn from the pins holding it up. I picked it up and rolled it into a tube. “Are you a professional?” I asked.

“Yes ma’am.” He said.

“Were you hired into this good guard service by Their Majesties Princess Luna and Princess Celestia?”

“Yes ma’am!” He said a little louder, sweating a bit.

I wacked him on the head with the rolled-up paper. “Then act like it!” His eyes where scrunched shut. I sighed. “Leave us.” he saluted and quickly left the room. “One can only imagine if the creature is even secured properly.” I said to no one.

After a few seconds of quiet, the element of loyalty spoke up. “Can I have that” She said, pointing to the poster.

“Knock yourself out.” I said, handing it to her. “Now, let’s see what we’ve got.” I walked over to the far wall. It was a long window that looked into the room next door. A one-way mirror. Inside the other room, secured by metal rings on a steel table was the creature. Just as ugly as the one from last night, it looked almost exactly the same. It stared, unblinkingly, dead ahead as if in a trance and I could see its chest rising and falling with each breath.

Surprisingly, the until now quiet element of kindness rushed to the front of our group and peered through the one-way mirror. “Oh my!” She said. “I’ve never seen anything like it!” She turned to me and the princesses. “What do you think it is?”

Caught off guard by the pretty mare suddenly coming to life, it took me a second to respond, so Celestia did instead. “Well, Fluttershy. That’s the problem. We simply don’t know.”

“That is what we are here to find out.” Said Luna.

Celestia nodded in agreement. “Indeed. Someone will go in there and find out what, if anything, it knows.”

“Mmhm.” I hummed. “By someone you mean me, right?”

Celestia looked hesitant. “Artemis… I know your methods and I know they tend to get results. But lets just try without grievous bodily harm first.”

Luna grinned. Likely remembering the long nights that the both of us would partake in, extracting information from would-be assassins and enemy commanders. I know I was; I couldn’t keep the grin from my own face either. The other mares looked nervous.

“Celestia. Sweetheart." I said. "Why bother with other methods?”

Celestia gave me a look. “I want this one alive.”

“It’ll live, Celly. Hells, I’m not a monster…”

Celestia rolled her eyes. “Twilight, I want you to go in and make observations. Its behaviour, body language, things like that.” Twilight nodded and began to gather bits of parchment from the desk along with a stick of charcoal. “Applejack, stay on this side and listen to its answers, no offence but you are the closest thing we have to a lie detection spell. I don’t want to use mind magic on it in case something detrimental happens.”

Then Celestia turned to the shy mare. “Fluttershy, do you think you could go in and talk to it?”

The element of kindness looked like a deer in the headlights. She shrunk in on herself. “I… I’m not sure. What would I have to do? I- If you don’t mind me asking?”

Celestia smiled and spoke calmly. “It is as I said. Just talk to it. That’s all. Be kind, perhaps you may be able to get it to open up a little.”

The element of kindness looked conflicted. “Um…”

The white mare with the purple mane took her hand and spoke softly. “It’ll be okay, darling. We’ll all be right out here and Twilight will be with you the entire time. Besides, I think you’ll be perfectly safe with three princesses watching over you.”

“I’m the Protector of the Realm, Kindness.” I said. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

The mare relaxed a bit. “Okay. If you’re sure.”

It was quiet for a moment. “Are we sure?” I asked Celestia.

“We are.” She responded.

One. Hour.

An entire hour of nothing. Well, I suppose that’s not entirely accurate. The soft voice of the element of kindness drifted through the room along with the furious scribbling of charcoal on parchment as our two inquisitors tried to get anything they could out of the creature. Nothing.

It made no noise and the only movement that came from it was its chest rising and falling along with the occasional blink over its soulless, cyan eyes. Poor Kindness ran out of things to ask it and started talking about her own life. How it was her dream to become a licenced veterinarian and how she spends her free time taking care of wild animals that wander close to her cottage on the outskirts of Ponyville. Out of all this conversation, the creature never made a peep.

Hopefully twilight has some good info written down.

“That’s it.” I said, and walked towards the interrogation room. “I’m done.”

“Artemis-” Celestia put up a hand to stop me.

“No. We’ve tried this your way. Now its my turn. I am the Princess Protector of the Realm. This thing is an enemy. That means that this falls under my jurisdiction.” Celestia gave me a disappointed look. “It’s happening.”

She sighed and gave in. “Just… Don’t kill it.”

I rolled my eyes. “Like I said. I’m not a monster.”

“Would you like some help?” Luna asked.

“Nah it’s okay, Lu. I’ve got this.” She looked a tad disappointed at that.

I opened the door to the room. “Everything okay?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah.” I said. “This is taking too long. It’s my turn now.”

Both mares looked uneasy. “W- What are you going to do?” Kindness asked.

“I just wanna talk to it.”

“We tried that.” Twilight said, exasperatedly.

“You haven’t tried my way.”

“I’m not sure I’m going to like your way.”

“I couldn’t care less if you don’t like it. You don’t have to.”

Twilight huffed and left, with Kindness quickly following behind. The door shut and I was alone in the room with the creature that, for all I know, would have killed Luna If I wasn’t there.

On the left side of the room was the one-way mirror, now reflecting me and the insectoid, making the room look a bit bigger than it was. I sighed and removed my cloak, folded it neatly and put it in the corner by the door. I walked towards the creature. “Hello, hello, hello little buddy. Or should I call you little buggy?” No answer. “Here’s what’s gonna happen.” I said. “I’m going to ask you some questions. You don’t answer, I break something.”

The sound in the room crackled and Celestia’s voice came to life. “Artemis.” There was a pause. Then she spoke again and sounded resigned. “Nothing life-threatening.”

“Relax.” I spoke to the mirror. “Broken things can be fixed.” Most of the time.

I heard her sigh and the crackling of the sound stopped.

I reached down to the creature’s hand and grasped its left pinky finger gently. It felt strange. Like one giant fingernail covered in hard wax. That is, apart from the joints that, instead, felt like ordinary skin. It had short claws where fingernails would be and they were wickedly sharp.

I glanced at the mirror. I hope those elements aren’t watching… I stared into the creature’s eyes and spoke. “Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going start asking questions. After each question, I’m going to count to three. If I don’t hear an answer, this will happen to the rest of your fingers.” I wrenched hard in the opposite direction of the joint and the finger popped as the skin on the joint split.

The creature shuddered slightly and its left eye twitched. But it made no sound. Interesting. “Let me just remind you, you only have so many fingers. I suggest you cooperate or I’m afraid I’m going to have to move on to more satisfying body parts.” No answer. I shrugged and grasped its left ring finger gently. “Let’s start with something simple. What’s your name?” No answer.

I made sure to speak slowly, giving the thing a chance to answer. “One.” Nothing. “Two.” Nothing. “Three.” I sighed. ‘Twist’. ‘Pop’. Again, the thing shuddered. It clearly felt these breaks, but not a sound was spoken. I moved on to the left middle finger. “Another question perhaps? Maybe you don’t have a name?” I thought for a moment. “What are you, exactly?”

Nothing. Ugh. This is going to get old… Again, I spoke slowly. “One.” Nothing. “Two.” Nothing. I got ready to wrench the finger, putting on a bit of a show like I was putting a lot of effort into it. “Thre-”

“Ch-Changeling!” It spoke. My eyebrows rose and I looked into its eyes. Its was crying. Light green tears made trails down the waxy plates on its face. “Changeling.” It said a bit quieter. Its voice was raspy. Or maybe… Hissy? It sounded like it had been smoking for most of its life.

“Changeling?” I asked. “That’s what you are?” It nodded. “Never heard of you.” It closed its eyes and took a deep breath.

“This one has been given permission to talk to you.” It said.

“And who gave you that permission?” I looked around the room. “I don’t see anyone else here. Do you?”

It swallowed. “This one has been given permission by the hive to answer your questions.” It went quiet for a second. “This one begged.” It looked to its hands. “It hurt.”

I looked to the fingers too. Its pinky finger was bent backwards against its hand. Its ring finger was snapped at the middle joint and bent sideways. I winced. “Yeah… I’d say I’m sorry, but I did tell you how to make me stop. And hey,” I laughed. “It worked.”

“Yes.” It said. “The Hive thanks you for this method.” Fuck.

“Okay… Moving swiftly on.” I cleared my throat. “Do you have a name? Or, at least, something I can call you?”

It looked confused. “This one has no such designation.”

“Okay, whatever. I’m just gonna call you buggy. Are you male or female, buggy?”

“This one is a drone. All drones are female.”

“Really?” I asked looking at its body. “You look pretty androgynous.”

“An- Androgynous?”

“It means you look both male and female. A bit of both.”

“It helps with camouflage.”

“Camouflage?” I asked.

It closed its eyes for a minute. Then opened them. “This one has been given permission.” Green, heatless flame danced across its chitin. Giving the appearance of the creature bursting out of fresh, fallen leaves and I jumped back slightly. Only what emerged from the dancing leaves wasn’t the creature. It was a pony.

Just an ordinary pony. A stallion to be clear. One that I hadn’t seen before. “So… You can… Change?” It clicked. “Changeling. Got it.”

“That’s right.” The stallion said. “We can be anyone, anywhere. It is our greatest advantage.”

I barked out a laugh. “You moron. You just gave away your trump card.”

The stallion smiled. Just an ordinary smile, as if everything was going to be alright. “On the contrary. This one has been given permission to show you, in order to sow paranoia.” Double Fuck. “From this moment on. You will never know if a simple maid will be drooling at the thought of tasting your blood. You will never know if a trusted guard is waiting for the opportunity to stick his spear in your neck.” It stopped for a moment and leaned close to me. As close as its restraints would allow and whispered. “You will never know if your wife is waiting to kill you in your sleep.”

I backhanded the creature. Hard. “Never in my long life have I seen something as vile as you.”

The creature was quiet for a moment, then spoke. Spoke in a voice I thought I would never hear again. Spoke in a voice that was determined, yet gentle. So gentle. “Is that so?” It asked. The creature turned to face me. It had her eyes. Her freckles. Her blonde hair. But it had the creatures’ repulsive smirk. “That’s not a nice thing to say to your own sister.”

Silence. I couldn’t breathe. I saw red. I felt pressure on my hands. I heard shouting. I saw blood. I felt the ground fall away. I felt nothing.