Chapters Red And Black
The snow is damp beneath my hooves as I trudge through the uncleared streets of Ponyville; reflecting on the occurances at the "Group Therapy" session for my lack of anger management. Several weather pegasi fly overhead and push a massive dark grey cumulonimbus towards the everfree forest just a few miles south, freeing the ground beneath it to the sun's warming rays. A sudden memory pops into my head that causes me to turn left and head into a different part of town.
"Twilight will love to hear all about the session there." I mumble to myself as I walk through the busy marketplace; tents and booths line the sides of the street while the occupants shout their various goods and prices to oncoming customers.
"Uh, no thanks, Dark. I've got some studying to do." A familiar voice states uncomfortably from behind me.
I turn around and see Twilight talking to what I could only describe is a black...thing . It's black body is about the size of a normal pony; it's head holds a large black horn. On it's back flaps two large wings in the upright position, signifying arousal. It's flank has a red, unidentified cutie mark; it's mane is red with white tips.
"Oh, that's cool, Twily. Just F.Y.I, call me Dark Slash." The red and black monstrosity calmly replies in the voice of a douchy teen before spreading it's aroused wings and flying towards the Everfree Forest. I approach Twilight and call her name.
"Hey, Patient! How's the therapy going?" Twilight asks, relieved to see a normal pony.
"It started off okay, but ended poorly when some fat-ass earth pony started being racist to the unicorn instructor and I." I reply, seeing Twilight give a shocked look.
"Oh no, did he beat you up?" Twilight asks, concerned for my wellbeing.
"No, but I kinda knocked him out...with my back hooves..." I trail off as Twilight gives a sigh of releif. "I was only in the therapy room for like...thirty seconds, maybe forty-five." I add with a suppressed laugh of absurdity.
"Well, you at least tried to be productive." Twilight replies, trying to see the brighter side of the situation.
"Yeah..." I respond. A short pause breaks our conversation. "So, who the f--", I pause. "Was that guy you were talking to?" I ask Twilight, remembering just in time that she doesn't appreciate the occasional F-Bomb.
"He's a new pony in town. He's really into me and he's been...really creepy about it; and we only just met this morning." Twilight relies, brushing off the "fuck" I almost spewed.
"Seriously? Have you tried to tell him that you're not into him at all?" Ask, concerned for Twilight's safety around that creep.
"I've told him several times to not flirt with me because I'm not into him, but the guy won't fuck off!" Twilight yells, surprising me that she would even curse and turning several confused heads in the process.
"Hey, let's go back to your place and talk about this. I've got a book that I'd like to check out anyways." I suggest; Twilight nods and we head on our way.
"So, he just won't leave you alone?" I ask Twilight as we enter the massive tree of a Library.
"No. He was following me around all day . I was trying to tell him nicely to stop bothering me about it, but when I originally told him that, he started being incredibly creepy about it. Take for instance, when I went into a public outhouse, he stood outside the door and waited for me to get done. It was the only peace and quiet I could get from him." Twilight breathes as she slams and locks the door behind her, grunting with and enraged scowl on her face. "Also, he keeps calling me 'Twily'; it was cute the first three times he did so, but now it's just getting annoying. I told him that is was my brother's name for me, but did he listen, no!"
"Sounds like you've had quite a day." I reply, trotting over to a bookshelf on the far side of the downstairs library room and shuffling through the neatly organized books across the non-fiction section. "Where does this guy live, anyways?"
"I think he's bluffing, but he said that he lives in a cloud mansion in the dead center of the Everfree Forest, near the edge of Ghastly Gorge." Twilight tries ot remember exactly of what the alicorn-thing had said.
"Well, where ever he lives, I'm gonna go and try to find him and tell him to stop trying to flirt with y--" I'm cut off by a loud knocking at the door. "I'll get that." My action is met by Twilight's 'thank you'.
Opening the door, I come face to face with that red and black alicorn. The smug smile on his face churns my stomach with unexplained anger.
"Hey, I'm Dark Slash. Is Twily there?" The disgusting excuse of a pony asks in a voice that sounds dangerously similar to a college kid.
"Uh, no she's not, actually. If you have something to tell her, I'll remember it and tell it to her." I offer, trying to hide Twilight's presence with an excuse.
"I don't believe you." The alicorn blankly spits at me as he pushed me out of the way with his hoof and trots into the library, staring at me with irritation in his red iris eyes.
"Hey, I just said she's not here. Can you please leave before I call the cops?" I ask the alicorn, trying to remain polite.
"Like I said: I don't believe you." The teenage monstrosity growled back as his horn and eyes glow a bright green from use of magic.
"What are you gonna tell her that's so urgent that you need to trespass on this property? Also, what spell are you using?" I ask politely for the last time.
"I wanna ask her out. I'd be the best pony she's ever fucked." The alicorn replies, scanning the library room with his glowing eyes. "This is a spell that can detect things cloaked by a cloaking spell. I've known it all my life."
A few minutes pass by before the alicorn gives up and trots to the door again.
"Okay, I believe you. Just remember: don't fuck her until I'm done with her." The pitiful excuse of a pony warns, shoving a black front hoof in my face.
"Alright, alright. Now get outta here before I call the cops." I shout as I push the hoof out of my face.
The alicorn doesn't respond, only just raises his head in defiance and shuts the door behind him as he trots through the snow like a sentient tumor on reality.
"Is he gone?" Twilight asks, trotting down the stairs leading to her bedroom.
"Yeah. Where were you?" I ask the purple mare as she pulls a specific book out from the bookshelf I was at before the alicorn monstrosity waltzed in to the library.
"I was hiding in the bathroom with a cloaked spell." Twilight sighs and hands me the book I wanted with a purple aura.
"Seems like a legitimate spot." I respond, taking the book from her with a dark yellow aura.
"He doesn't like to go into bathrooms to find somepony he's looking for. Urine isn't one of his fetishes...the fucker actually told me his fetishes the first time he asked me out!" Twilight groans with an exasperated tone.
"We need to do something about him. He evidently can't take 'no' for an answer!" I reply, holding the book to my side with magic.
"I'll think of something." Twilight sighs.
A sudden thud rings out through the library as a tiny, purple dragon saunters into the library and closes the door behind him, locking it with a key.
"Hey Twilight, hey Patient." The purple dragon greets us with a friendly tone.
"Hey Spike." I respond, walking over to the angry and paranoid Twilight and putting a hoof on her shoulder. "Don't worry. I'll talk to him about stopping this." I smile; she smiles back.
"Who are you talking about?" Spike asks, walking over to us with a curious look.
"He's this...weird looking alicorn who moved into town. He's not changeling disgusting, sadly, otherwise I'd be more friendly to him. He's got the height and girth of a normal pony, but he isn't any sort of royalty; not by a long shot. He's also got this soot black coat and blood red mane, which just makes me really uncomfortable when I look at it. I think his name's...Dark...Slash, or something?" I enlighten Spike on the details of the situation.
"Wow." Spike reels at my description of the pony.
"Yeah, he's tried to ask me out on a date several times today! I just met him this morning!" Twilight yells, burying her face in my shoulder out of anger and groaning.
"Seriously? Is he that desperate?" Spike asks, walking over to Twilight and displaying a worried face.
"Oh, he's desperate. He also can't take 'no' for an answer." I sigh, brushing Twilight's mane with a hoof.
"Jeez. Well, I dunno what to do, actually." Spike shrugs, reluctantly. "Patient, you're staying over here tonight?"
"What are you talking about?" I ask him as Twilight removes her face from my shoulder.
"Your apartment building is being fumigated. Apparently, there were some cockroach colonies living in the walls of the place." Spike recounts the details as I become surprised and irritated.
"Seriously? Did you get any info on how long it'll last?" I ask with surprise and irritation in my voice and on my face.
"Yeah, I asked one of the ponies comin' out of there how long; he said it'll be around noon tomorrow when it gets done." Spike responds. I sigh in relief.
"Okay, good. I thought those things took weeks." I respond, wiping a bead of sweat from my forehead.
"Patient, you can stay here if you want." Twilight offers with a smile.
"Thanks, but I think I'm gonna stay at a motel; I don't wanna feel like I'm mooching off you." I reject Twilight's offer.
"No, you won't be! Remember the time that you brought in that huge box of books for the library? This'll be the way I pay you back!" Twilight happily responds, grin growing much wider; I notice the sky outside is growing darker as i consider the offer for the next ten seconds.
"Well...why not?" I finally respond with a smile growing across my cheeks.
"I'll go get the spare mattress!" Twilight seems very ecstatic over my decision.
Well into the night, hours later, I'm awaken by a series of quiet thuds. guessing it was only Spike getting up to get a midnight snack or something, I disregard the noises and try to get back to sleep; only to be waken several minutes later by a series of almost inaudible slaps. Curious, I open my eyes to the wooden ceiling and rub the crusts of slumber from my eyes. Turning over, I watch the door in near blackness, wondering what the fleshy sounds are.
"Maybe he's beating his meat." I think to myself as I roll back onto my back and close my eyes.
Four or five minutes pass by of the persistent, fleshy slaps until I open my eyes to realize something...highly uncomfortable; the slaps are coming from inside the room. I look down towards my feet to see Twilight laying in her bed with Spike's bed at the foot of hers; Spike's blanket is thrown completely off, but his hands are near his chest, not his crotch. Concerned, I look to my left to see a massive shadow right next to Twilight's bed; holding something small and flaccid in it's tendrils.
"Twilight!" I shout; the shadowy figure drops the object in it's appendage and slinks back to the far corner of the room.
"Wha--!?" Twilight shouts back, pulling the blindfold off her face and turning on the lamp next to her bed, revealing everything in the room.
"What the fuck!" I roar with rage as I hop out of bed to investigate the shadow in the room: a pitiful red and black excuse of a pony .
"Hey! Twilight didn't wanna date or fuck , so I thought she would appreciate a good finishing!" The appalling alicorn shouts as I grab his red and white mane with my teeth and yank with all my might, tearing several dozen strands with sprays of warm blood spurting across the wall behind him.
Dark Slash's dejected screams echo across the room as he groped at his scalp, trying his hardest to put pressure on the head wound. I turn around and buck furiously at Dark Slash's face. My back hooves connect with his face with a sickening crack as he falls backwards, unconscious, with a river of blood flowing from his cracked and bent nose.
"Dark Slash!?" Twilight yelps, horrified with tears streaming down her face as Spike hops onto Twilight's bed in a protective stance.
"Asshole was jerkin' it over your face." I growl with rage, kicking the alicorn's tiny erection with a front hoof; Dark's bruised nub of a penis slowly recedes back into his sheath.
"That--That's over the fuckin' limit!" Twilight cries, wrapping her hooves around Spike as he tries to comfort her.
"I think I know what I'm gonna do to deal with him. I've got a few friends I can get to help me out with it, too." I respond.
"Fine, just get him out of here." Twilight whines, crying into Spike's shoulder.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
"What the fuck, man? It's two in the morning." A voice rings from behind the wooden door that I had knocked.
"Dude. We gotta problem." I quietly call out to the stallion behind the door.
"Whatever." The stallion replies as he opens the door to reveal a tall, white unicorn with a messy mane; blue and light blue to be exact.
"What's wrong?" He asks, more of his body coming closer to the light my horn is producing, showing his rifle-scope Cutie Mark.
"There's some new alicorn who's been flirting with Twilight. We just saw in the library beatin' his meat over Twilight's face, and--" I'm interrupted by the white unicorn's raised hoof.
"What the fuck? Seriously; what the fuck??" The bewildered unicorn exasperates with a face of irritation and curiosity.
"Like I was saying, Trigger; the alicorn broke in and started to beat off near Twilight's face. I knocked him out with a kick. He's tied up in the basement."
"Just...let me come with you to see this fuckstick. Explain it to me on the way there." Trigger responds, running a comb through his mane with a white aura of magic and placing a pair of unfolded sunglasses across his face; ear supports pointing upwards so the lenses rest on his forehead.
"Alright. His name's Dark Slash..."
Several minutes later, Trigger and I arrive at the entrance to the library; Twilight and Spike standing in front of the door with another friend of ours.
"Hey, Distrance. Did Twilight tell you about that alicorn?" Trigger happily greets our friend.
"Yes, Twilight enlightened me on the subject. I can't believe he could do such a thing to poor Twilight!" The brown unicorn standing next to Twilight sighs in a Trottingham accent; his shield Cutie Mark gleaming in the moonlight.
"I know. It's fuckin' disgusting." Trigger responds, lighting a cigarette with a spell and placing it in his mouth, blowing a puff of thick, grey smoke back into the air.
"How exactly is he strung up, Patient?" Trigger asks me, butting out his cigarette on the ground and stomping on it with a front hoof.
"He's tied to the wall standing up. Front legs pointed upwards with his chest exposed." I explain to everypony as the five of us walk into the library.
"Any special requests, Twilight?" Distrance asks Twilight.
"I don't know what you guys are doing, and I don't wanna know. Just try to muffle the sounds so nopony else can hear. I'll be at Applejack's." Twilight meekly mumbles.
"Can do." I smile weakly.
Flashback
"I've requested you three here for a reason. Can you guess what it is?" Shining Armor inquiries to Trigger, Distrance and I as we sit in hard, metallic chairs lit by florescent tubes in the ceiling above.
"My drug use? You gonna arrest me?" Trigger apathetically asks.
"Being a doctor in a medical bunker during the war?" I nervously query.
"Taking a bullet for my comrade during that same war? Am I going to get a purple hoof medal?" Distrance asks, obviously talking about his iron shield Cutie Mark.
"Actually, no for all three of those; sorry, Distrance." Shining Armor replies with a smirk.
"Did we do something illegal?" I ask, still nervous.
"This is about a trait all three of you exhibit; lack of squeamishness." Shining Armor responds, pushing a manila folder onto the desk with a hoof."An assignment if you choose to take it."
Trigger grabs the folder and opens it, reading the contents out loud.
"Exterminatus Alicorna? Are we gonna kill the princesses?" Trigger uncomfortably queries whilst giving the folder to me.
"No, thankfully. There's a great menace out there. Scientific name: 'Equus ferus caballus septappendaga ', or the basic alicorn. There's more in Equestria than the princesses, however. Dozens stallions and mares with the appearances of being alicorns with humongous egos and massive sex drives. I've been getting countless reports from all over Equestria along with the Griffon kingdoms. They're infesting the place and being an absolute menace towards whoever they find attractive."
"Are we supposed to dispatch these alicorns?" Distrance glances towards Trigger and I nervously.
"If you try your hardest to eliminate the alicorn threat, I shall pay you all a handsome annual salary for the rest of your lives." shining Armor tells us, throwing a large burlap bag of coins onto the metallic table with a thud. "The government will also pay you top-wat a head for every alicorn you...take care of ."
"Is this even legal?" Trigger deadpans; Shining Armor nods his head in response, but that doesn't affect my nervousness at all.
"I dunno about this. What happens if the cops catch us in the act?" I politely ask the captain of the royal guard.
"I have notified all the policing powers in Equestria and the Griffon kingdoms. If they catch you in the act, the'll turn a blind eye." Shining Armor gives a glance towards all three of us before swiping the manila folder from my hoof and placing it back on the table, still open so Distrance can view the contents.
"If you don't take the task, I'll be forced to terminate the three of you because you know of some very dangerous military intelligence." Shining Armor warns us.
"I guess we have to take the mission, then." Trigger speaks up, shrugging and shaking hooves with Shining Armor. "Sign us up, or whatever."
End Of Flashback
"Check it out, he's waking up." Trigger happily exclaims as the strung up alicorn slowly flutters his eyes open, staring with rage and terror at the three of us.
"Reminiscent of the good ol' days. Remember; being appointed to hunt these fuckers down?" I inquire the past to my friends, who smirk and nod.
The basement is lit by bright ceiling lights, making it as bright as it it during the daytime down here; Trigger pulls the sunglasses over his eyes as Distrance shields his eyes with a hoof, I only squint. The sturdy wooden wall keeping the black alicorn bound is covered with dust from a bookcase that had been previously placed before-hand for many years. The triple-braided cords of rope hold the abomination of nature's front and back legs to the wall, letting his head hang forward.
"What's going on?" The Dark Slash quietly demanded as he pulls his front hooves forward, only to find that they've been tied to the wall behind him.
"You're gonna be taught a lesson on how not to treat Twilight." I reply, scratching the skin under my light green mane; Trigger lights another cigarette.
"Your last moments in existence will be quite painful, boy. Just before you experience horrific pain, we'll let you know ten seconds in advance so you can prepare yourself." Distrance offers the alicorn some reprieve of a mere few seconds.
Suddenly, Trigger grows a massive, evil grin and spits out his cigarette. Holding the cancer stick with a white aura, he plunges the burning end of it into Dark Slash's right eye, causing red hot embers to eject in many directions. Black smoke seeps from the eye as Dark Slash squirms with pain; his pained shouts echoing through the large, wooden basement.
"Listen, fuckstick. You should've never came to Ponyville; nor should've you fucked with Twilight." He growls as he pulls the cigarette from the alicorn's eye, revealing a bloodshot organ leaking vitreous fluid and blood from the tear-duct.
"Fuck you! I'm more powerful than Celestia and Luna! I can break out of here and have my revenge!" He spits a wad of blood and mucus in my face; I step back in surprise and wipe the mahogany goo from my cheek.
"Shouldn't have done that." I reply with an apologetic smirk.
"You also said i'd have a ten second head start!" He adds with a pained scowl.
"That was a freebie." Trigger shrugs, producing a flask from nowhere and emptying it's contents into his mouth.
"You have ten seconds to prepare for what happens next." Distrance cautiously adds, producing a serrated combat knife from a large duffle-bag next to him.
"Oh no! What're you gonna cut off!?" Dark Slash hyperventilates; the sheer terror extending his three inch penis to full length with sick pleasure.
"I don't know, but you have five seconds." Distrance counts off in his head.
"Please don't, I---" Something clicked in Dark Slash's head. "I will get outta here! And I'm gonna make you all pay for this because I'm more powerful than all three princesses combined! I AM the Element of Darkne--" He is interrupted by a large, dirty rag being stuffed into his mouth; a long peice of grey duct tape covering his lips and cheeks.
"Three princesses?" Trigger echos.
"Cadence." I reply; Trigger nods.
"Your ten seconds is up, pal. Sorry about this." Distrance sighs as a wicked grin forms across his face; focusing on the amazingly tiny penis protruding from Dark Slash's sheath.
Distrance lowers the knife with a brown aura to the alicorn's crotch. Dark Slash shivers and begs to not do anything there through the sock and tape, but his muted pleas fall on uncaring ears. Without hesitation, Distrance pulls the knife across skin on the alicorn's penis, drawing rivers of blood that rush to the tip of his short hard-on and drip onto the floor, forming a small pool. Muffled shrieks of agony fill my ears with satisfaction as large amounts of mucus and tears roll down the alicorn's face and drop to the floor, mixing with the blood.
The knife traces the circumference around the base, then moving towards the phallus along the bottom, causing blood to pour from the massive wound and pool even more on the floor. At the head, the knife curves upward, severing the phallus into two halves, and travels back to the base along the top.
"That's fucked up, dude." Trigger admires the work as two halves of a penis flop up and down from the squirming of Dark Slash.
"That's not even the *half* of it." Distrance giggles as he uses a hoof to pull the severed skin from the two halved cock.
"What are we gonna use the skin for?" Trigger asks as I pull the tape from Dark Slash's mouth and pull the soggy sock from his mouth. I grin wickedly and stuff the two halves of black dick skin into his mouth and hold it shut with a hoof.
"Chew. Your. Food." I growl furiously at the alicorn, who hesitantly does so, tears and mucus dripping onto my hoof as he halfheartedly swallowed the fleshy morsel.
"Good boy!" I congratulate him as if he were a dog who rolled over when I told him to, and stuffed the smelly, brown leg-sock back into his mouth and reattached the tape onto his cheeks.
"Wow. I can't believe he actually did that!" I hear Spike from behind me.
All three of us turn around to see Spike wielding a tub of strawberry ice cream and a large metal spoon.
"You wanna watch up close?" I offer the purple dragon.
"I'm good. I don't wanna get blood in my ice cream." Spike's refusal is met with look from me that states 'makes sense'.
"What're we gonna do next?" Distrance asks, placing the bloodies knife back into the duffle-bag.
"I know. So he doesn't escape." Trigger responds after clocking Dark Slash in the face with a hoof after noticing a red aura forming around his right binding.
"Why didn't we do this first?" I facehoofed.
"Just wanted to have some fun." Distrance suggests, watching Trigger pull a large device from the large, army-green sack.
"A bone saw? We're gonna cut his horn off?" I ask with an evil smile.
"Fuck right, dude. This little shit ain't goin' anywhere!" Trigger responds, putting the edge of the blade onto the base of the alicorn's horn.
"Do it quick, before he wakes up!" Spike shouts from behind, causing the white aura around the saw to vigorously pull and push the saw back and forth, sending blood, marrow, and chunky, clear matter to spray in all directions.
"What's that chunky stuff?" Spike queries from behind us.
"It's known as Mana. It's like bone marrow, but it only exists in horns. It's the thing that allows horned ponies to use magic." Distrance responds, brushing a stray dark brown hair from his face.
"Oh, okay. Keep going." Spike twirls the spoon in his claw and continues to consume ice cream while Trigger continues to saw the horn off of Dark Slash's forehead.
"Done! Fucker didn't see it coming!" A terrifying laugh bounces from Trigger's throat as I walk towards the diffle-bag, producing a large syringe filled with a translucent, cream fluid.
"Allow me to estimate an answer; adrenaline syringe?" Distrance asks as I plunge the needle deep into the alicorn's black chest.
"Absolutely; never leave the house without one in my saddlebag." I respond, pushing the cold, plastic plunger to release the fluid into Dark Slash's heart.
"That's kinda weird. Don't ever tell me that again, Patient." Trigger responds, stepping back a few inches.
"Not for malevolent use." I correct Trigger's suspicions, pulling the syringe from the alicorn's chest.
"Where the fuck am I!?" The ungagged Dark Slash gasps and shouts as his eyes shoot wide open, scanning the darkened room.
"You're home now. You're safe. Nopony's gonna hurt you." I respond from the darkness.
"Oh, no! I recognize you!" The alicorn screams, squirming in his bonds.
"Dammit, didn't work. Okay, Spike; turn the lights back on." I call out to the baby dragon, who does so, revealing the alicorn's body to him.
A colossal, throaty roar falls out of Dark Slash's lips, long with several drops of blood and saliva. I push the dirty sock back into his dry mouth; I also pull a fresh piece of duct tape across his mouth as well.
"Dayum." Trigger's face grows into a smirk as I go back into the duffle-bag and produce several objects.
"This next thing's gonna be a bit too graphic for sentient being less than the age of, oh I don't know, twenty ." I motion for Spike to go upstairs and wait until somepony tells him to come down.
"Fine." Spike groans and slogs upstairs and shuts the door behind him.
"Hmmh!?" Dark Slash tries to scream through his dirty gag; his torn red and white mane leaking bodily plasma from the fresh scab from where I tore the follicles out.
"Just be quiet and it will go by smoothly." I tell him, tearing the fresh scab off of his scalp with a dark yellow aura, revealing bloodied flesh; torrents of fresh blood and bodily plasma leak from the fresh wound.
"Pussy. Do something worse ." Trigger brushes off the brutal tearing.
"That wasn't the only thing I was doing." I reply, holding up one of the objects from the duffle-bag: a fire cracker.
"You're going to put that in his head-wound?" Distrance quizzically asks.
"Something like that. Help me untie his bonds and turn him around." I request help.
"Let me do this next part." Trigger happily takes the firecracker from my hoof after we successfully switch Dark Slash's position from facing us to having his muzzle buried onto the wall.
"Alright. Just let me do the finishing move; I've hardly had anything to do tonight." I request.
"Sure." Trigger replies, pulling the alicorn's tail upwards, revealing a clenched anal cavity and a pair of bloodied testicles.
"Inside his rectum?" Distrance questions; Trigger happily nods.
"Oh Luna, what have I done?" I reflect on my decision to give the firecracker to Trigger.
"You've given me an ample opportunity." Trigger happily responds, shoving the firecracker deep into Dark Slash's anal cavity, letting the fuse stick slightly out of his clenched sphincter.
"Hmm mmm mmh!" The alicorn sobs behind his gagged lips.
"This'll be...interesting ." Distrance rubs his front hooves together in excitement.
"Ready for your present from daddy?" Trigger asks Dark Slash, who replies by trying to excrete the firecracker out with anal contractions.
"Too late!" Trigger ecstatically shouts as he lights the fuse with a lighter held in a white aura.
The fuse burns quickly, sending sparks in many directions and burning the area around the sphincter. Dark Slash's throaty shrieks in terror from behind the sock and tape are somewhat unheard; thrashing his bound appendages before the firecracker finally bursts. Blood and chunks of black and red flesh fly throughout the room, splattering the three of us and the alicorn with a maroon coat of fluid-like chunks.
"Oooohh, sick! " I laugh, wiping the chunks of flesh and feces from my face.
"That isn't even the worst fuckin' part!" Trigger announces, still holding the tail upwards.
The Dark Slash's testicle skin is burned and falling off in heaps of charred flesh. Globs of charred flesh and fresh feces continually drip from the ruined anal cavity of the quivering, sobbing alicorn. I notice Trigger standing on his hind legs, showing off a large, thick organ jutting out of his sheath.
"No. You're not gonna..." I laugh as Trigger grabs Dark Slash's tail once again and holds it up.
"Fuck. Right." Trigger growls as he inserts his long, throbbing cock into the alicorn's ruined anus.
"That's quite...disturbing, Trigger. I'm glad that we encouraged Spike to leave." Distrance grimaces at the spectacle of alicorn anal rape.
Constant squishes eject from the unwanted intercourse, causing Dark Slash to shriek with terror; he releases his bowels onto Trigger's member, who pulls out and washes the feces off of his penis with the blood flowing from the alicorn's anus.
"Fucker shouldn't have done that, either." Trigger groans as he plunges his cock into Dark Slash, deeper this time, and totally submerging his cock in the bloody, fleshy hunk of mess.
Trigger's thrusts grow more deliberate and quicker as the minutes go by. A sudden roar of ecstasy and pleasure erupts from Trigger as several squirts are heard over the squishing of cock and charred flesh. Huffing and panting, Trigger pulls his cock out of Dark Slash's anus, releasing a torrent of fresh semen mixed with a maroon fluid.
"Done. Patient, you can finish him off." Trigger huffs as he produces a white towel from the duffle-bag and uses it to wipe his receding member clean.
"Alright. I just need some tools first." I respond as I shift through the bag with a hoof, grabbing the crimson stained serrated combat knife that was used to dismember Dark Slash's member.
I also produce a bucket from the bag and bring the two items over to Dark Slash. Carefully picking up the dismembered alicorn horn from the ground with a yellow aura, I quickly ask Trigger and Distrance to turn Dark Slash around.
After a quick session of unbinding the half awake Dark Slash and turning him around, we're all ready to resume our progress.
"Also, fuck that ten second bullshit." I command Dark Slash, who stops thrashing about, altogether; most likely conserving his energy to be used to keep this ass alive.
"Ram it in there deep!" Trigger cheers.
Pushing the alicorn horn deep into Dark Slash's stomach; blood erupts from the wound and splatters onto the floor, drenching my front hooves with crimson fluid. The cackling Trigger happily bounces up and down; Distrance stands behind me, smirking and nodding his head. I pull the horn out of the alicorn's gut, releasing several more cups of blood along with a partial release of the intestines as they flop to the floor with a wet thud.
"Shit. We don't have much time till he bleeds out." I quickly drop the horn and point my horn at the alicorn's ruined member, still dangling and flopping.
With one quick motion, I ram my dark yellow horn into Dark Slash's urethra, widening it with magic as I dig my throbbing magical organ into the dark alicorn's bladder. Muted shrieks murmur from Dark Slash's gag as I pivot my head back and forth, making sure that my horn is massaged and pleasured while I fuck the alicorn's insides.
"Allow me to partake in this!" Distrance yelps with glee as he walks to the agonized and screaming black and red alicorn.
"What are you gonna do?" I ask Distrance as the insides of my horn burn from the ecstacy of fucking Dark Slash's organs.
"Something that just popped into my head." Distrance happily states as he stands on his hind legs, coming face to face with the gagged alicorn.
Slowly, Distrance's tongue seeps out of his lips, connecting with the alicorn's left eye as I climax inside the sobing alicorn. I release at least two cups of magical excriment from my horn and into the lower intestine of the red and black monstrosity. The sparkling, translucent yellow fluid filling the vacant area of his abdomen drips continually from the hole in his stomach as I pull my horn out and wipe it with the towel that Trigger had wiped his shitty member with.
Simultaneously, Distrance begins to lick the corners and whites of Dark Slash's eye, effectively causing the alicorn the shreik with terror of the unknown. Suddenly, the brown unicorn's tongue seeps deeper into the occular cavity of the strung up pony, who shreiks and empties his bowels a second time onto the already brown wall. Distrance continually skull-fucks the alicorn with his tongue as he goes deeper and deeper, threatening to pull the eys out completelty.
The sandy texture of Distrance's tounge rubbed abrasively against Dark's bare eye causing him to whimper and gasp in horrific pain, already his optical organ was beggining to reden and become irrited, the microscopic scratches causing a terrible stinging sensation. Distrance stopped briefly, and cupped Dark's head with his hoof, bringing his face up to say: "Not so nice being used is it? You worthless little shit." With that, he continued attempting to pry Slash's eyeball from it's socket with renewed vigor.
Distrance's tongue suddenly dove deeper into the occular cavity, causing Dark to screech behind his gag in terrible agony, the brown unicorn's tongue surging against the back of his eye socket, brushing coarsely against the abused optical nerve. He wrapped his sandy tongue around the back of the eye and pulled, upon feeling the tissue tear, sure enough the clear vitreous fluid spewed onto Distrance's face and neck immediatly afterwards. Pulling the eye out and curling in his tongue.
When the eye dislodged from it's socket, Distrance slowly sank his teeth into the optical organ, crushing it and letting the fluid drizzle down his chin. Smiling in sadistic glee, he rolled the crushed organ around in his mouth and inserted a tongue into the mush. He yanked sharply using his the weight of his entire body and brutally severed the eye from the rest of the alicorn's body with a splirt of blood and a few small chunks of flesh.
Shrieking with unrelenting horror and sheer agony, Dark Slash, thrashed his appendages and tried to flap his wings to no avail, as the wings were pushed tightly up against the bloodied, feces smeared wall behind him.Trigger howled with laughter as my face twists into a dark smirk. Suddenly, the door to the basement flung open, and a tiny purple dragon hopped down the stairs carrying a tray of assorted snacks.
"Hey guys, thought you guys might want some snacks while taking care of Dark Slash, so I made some sandwiches." Spike yawns as I look to the wall on my left, about twenty feet away; it was four in the morning.
"Thanks, Spike. You wanna help?" Trigger happily asks, rushing over to the platter and stuffing his mouth with a hay and daffodil sandwich.
Spike paused as he took in the scene before him, for a few moments the trio thought he was going to freak out.
"Wow...that's really, really gay guys..." Spike mused incredulously.
"How so?" Distrance asks, spitting the eye out of his mouth as it splatters onto the floor with a pile of saliva and fluid.
"Trigger's penis was a foot deep in another male ." Spike deadpanned.
"Point taken." I laugh as well; Trigger glares fericiously at Spike and I.
"Dude, you know I'm actually gay right?" Trigger angrily asks Spike and I.
"So what, why are you being so insecure about it bro?" Spike quiped annoyingly.
"I'm not! You just were making fun of it, that was all-" Trigger griped with an annoyed tone as Distrance raises a hoof.
"Guys, let's-" I began but was cut off just as quickly.
"Actually, homosexuality is a trait that both Trigger--and I--exhibit." Distrance calmly inquires.
"Guys..." I deadpanned. "Lets not get into this right now ok, we have precious little time before this scumdog bleeds out and I'd rather not spend it discussing the finer points of homosexuality."
"You're right. Let's just finish this." Distrance sighs.
"Wait wait, do any of you even read biology books? What you've done here is so...impractical!" Spike questioned.
"How so?" I query, becoming curious.
"Well for one, you've caused grevious bodily harm to your victim, thus causing him bleed out quicker-" In the background, Dark whimpered pathetically "- What you want to do is maximize pain while minimizing damage. That way he'll last longer and suffer more! Also you could have at least targeted non vital areas; come on, guys !"
"And how did you know so much about torture and secret government conspiracies?" I ask.
At the same time Distrance growled: "It's our job to kill them, not to fucking play around and shit!" Clearly pissed off at being talked down to by a child.
Spike gave a knowing look:"Well, being the number one assistant to Twilight Sparkle does give me access to a lot of books, on a wide range of subjects, if you know what I mean..."
Nopony spoke for the next couple seconds.
"Welp lets get back to work then." With that the three causally sauntered over to the broken, weeping Alicorn hung above a pile of his own blood and feces.
"We've got some more 'treatment' coming your way, don't you worry." I reassure the broken piece of shit as if he were a schoolfoal.
I saunter forward, closing in on the half-dead alicorn. Sobs can be heard from the gagged mouth of Dark Slash as he tries to wimper something unheard to my ears. I ignore the possible plea and tear the duct tape from the black pony's reddened, bloody cheeks. I open the alicorn's mouth wide open to reveal a series of somewhat yellow teeth, almost as if he hadn't brushed in a month; fuckin' disgusting.
"Distrance, hand me a pair of...pliers ." I call to the brown unicorn, who digs into the duffle bag and pulls out a rusty pair.
"Thanks." I respond, taking the tool with a dark yellow aura. Spike perks up: "I'll be right back guys, just gonna go look for supplies." He said while running upstairs.
Positioning the device at the front incisor, I clamp down hard onto the base of the tooth, right before Dark Slash says something I never had expected.
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, just please don't hurt me anymore; I'll be good, I promise! I'll stop triyng to hit on Twilight. I'll move out of town. I'll never speak of this again, just let me live !" The alicorn bawls, uncontrollably sputtering all over my face.
"Sorry, but you made a mistake." I reply, tightening my grip on the plyers.
"What was that?" Dark Slash sobs, nearly mentally broken.
"Being born." I blankly spit as I wrench the tooth out of his mouth, followed by a torrent of hot, crimson fluid.
Dark Slash howls in agony as he shakes his head vigorously, sending drops of blood all over the basement walls and floor. Laughing, Trigger and Distrance clap their hooves as if they were told a funny joke by a commedian. I hold Dark Slash's head steady with a magical aura and insert the pliers back into his mouth, pulling at a molar at near the back of the mouth; the sharp, jagged jaws of the plyers scraped at his gums, skinning them and scraping enamel from the bone.
"Stop! Please Stop!" Dark Slash shrieks with mortal agony as I shrug and release the tooth from being pulled out entirely, placing the pliers back on the ground.
"Fine, ya big baby. Spike's coming back with something to help out." I deadpan and spit directly in Dark Slash's face, who winces and cries bitter tears.
"Hey guys. I'm back with the supplies. I got this batch at Rarity's shop." Spike responds, dropping a small cardboard box onto the floor in front of Distrance, who opens it with a brown aura, revealing several small boxes of needles along with a ball of yellow yarn.
"How did you get these?" I ask Spike, who crosses his arms.
"I just said that Twilight needed some supplies for something she was working on. Rarity obliged, and we have our shit." Spike recalled the details.
"Didn't Rarity find it...strange that you came to her in the dead of night?" Distrance asks.
"It's seven in the morning." Spike deadpanns.
"Shit. Really? Time flies when you're having fun." Trigger muses and shrugs.
I ignore the conversation between Spike and my friends, and focus on the mess we had made with the alicorn. Blood and feces smear the walls behind and beside the broken monstrosity of nature; that same blood and feces, along with small puddles of orange urine, are splattered in places on the floor and ceiling. Yes, the fucking ceiling.
"What the fuck are we gonna do now?" Trigger asks. "We've tried every single method, so, why not finish him off now?"
"Pffft; Please. We've got some more shit to do to him before we haul his sorry ass back to hell." Spike brushes off Trigger's complaint.
"Also, we could sew his lips shut. Loosely, so when he screams, his lips'll tear off." I suggest; Dark Slash begins to hyperventilate from his bloodied mouth.
"Will somepony shut him up!?" Distrance yells, cantering over to the strung up alicorn and bucking violently at his face, severing a tooth and causing Dark Slash to fall into unconsciousness.
"Thanks. We'll need him to not move when we sew him up." I thank Distrance.
"Wait. Shouldn't we put sharp metal or some shit in his mouth before we sew it shut?" Trigger asks, looking curious.
"Well, Twilight does keep some fishing supplies down here for random reasons." Spike replied.
"Perfect..." I reply, searching the area where Spike had pointed.
"Found it." I call out to everypony as I pull out a green and white tackle-box filled with rattling objects.
I open the box to reveal a series of large fishing hooks, several spools of fishing line, and two collapsible fishing poles. Giddy with glee, I grab the cold, metallic fishing hooks from the box and saunter towards the unconscious stallion and hold his head up by his lower jaw, examining his broken mouth. Scraped gums bleeding a crimson fluid line the sides of the alicorn's feeding orifice as bits of tissue and bone chunks slither out from his tongue onto the floor.
Looking behind me, I notice Spike holding up the needle and ball of yarn in his claw, staring at me quizzically. I take the yarn and needle with a dark yellow aura and hold it towards Dark Slash, keeping his mouth shut with a hoof. Fitting the end of the yarn into the needle eye, I plunge the needle into the end of the alicorn's lips, wavering the petite, metal point through the lips of the unconscious pony.
"And...Done!" I happily state as I back away from the alicorn, admiring my handiwork.
"Did you put anything in his mouth?" Trigger quizzically deadpans.
"Well, shit." I sigh and chuckle. "Lemme do something else, then."
I trot back over to the large, open green tackle box and pull out a collapsible fishing pole.
"What is it?" Trigger asks.
"I'm gonna go fishing." I reply, attaching a hook the fishing line at the end of the pole and casting it to the floor and reeling it in, seeing if the pole will work correctly.
"Fishing for his lips? That sounds pretty grotesque...I love it !" Distrance beams.
"Something like that." I had something else in mind, however.
Staring at the broken alicorn bound before me, I magically take the adrenaline needle from the duffle-bag and plunge it deep into the alicorn's heart, causing the monstrosity to wake up and hyperventilate.
"Whert's gerin' ern!?" Dark Slash shrieks through his loosely sewn lips as I begin to cast the first line towards the alicorn.
"I'm just going fishing ; nothing to get upset about." I try to calm Dark Slash as I cast a line towards his mutilated, bloody orifice of a crotch and snagging the hook into his left testicle.
Dark Slash screams behind the gag, not in agony, but in terror of the unknown. I yank back hard and pull the line towards me with as much magic as I can muster. The hook rips itself from the skin with a sickening tearing sound as Dark Slash winces, thrashing about. Trigger and Distrance are almost to their knees in wicked, evil laughter as I cast another line towards the alicorn's crotch.
"Pwees! Duhn!" Dark Slash squeals like a burning pig as I pull on the line again, this time much harder than last.
The hook this time had inserted itself into the raw testes of Dark Slash's scrotum; the pull from the line had caused the testes to pull away from the alicorn until they tore off, releasing a massive torrent of blood and semen. Spike begins to madly cackle as I grab the raw testes from the floor with an aura of magic, holding them at Dark Slash's face and showing him the work I had done.
This triggered Dark Slash to let out a massive, throaty cry, in which his mouth begins to separate from the yarn, causing deep cuts and lacerations to form on his top and bottom lips. In response, I jam the testicle in the empty eye socket that Distrance had created for me while I was horn-fucking the alicorn. The testes fit almost perfectly into the eye socket as Dark Slash's mouth rips from the yarn with a herculean force, letting the bloodied string flop to the floor along with torrents of blood from the red and black abomination's shredded lips.
"Priceless!" Trigger reels over and lets out a chunky, yellow river of vomit; most likely exuded from the insane amount of laughter the white unicorn had taken part in.
"That's...disgusting!" Distrance chuckles as he backs away from the puddle of vomit.
"Let's just finish this fucker off. I'm getting bored." I deadpan...
Finale
"What's gonna happen now?" Trigger queries as he saunters over to the dismembered alicorn strung up onto the wall in front of him.
"Well, we're gonna have to heal him before he bleeds out, but he can survive for another several minutes." I reply to the white unicorn as Distrance saunters over to the duffle-bag and produces two small pliers.
"I think I have an idea, Patient." Distrance muses as he thrusts the pliers in my face with a brown aura.
"What is it? Are we gonna pull more teeth out or something?" I quizzicaly ask.
"No, actually. See the tiny metal bars in between the handles? They're for holding the pliers open . I think we should cut a wound into him and hold it open with these pliers. Maybe we could put something in there." Distrance grimaces at the thought.
"That...actually might work !" I grin wickedly as I take the pliers in a dark yellow aura.
"I'll get a knife and cut the fucker open." Trigger yawns, obviously tired.
"Wait. You're tired ? We've been having so much fun killing this cunt that I thought you would be so full of adrenaline!" Spike angrily perks up at Trigger, who glowers deeply at Spike.
"Look, Patient woke me up at two in the morning. I'm tired. I'm going to crash on Twilight's spare bed." Trigger walks slowly towards the stairs of the basement.
"Dude, just wait for thirty more minutes. I'll be done by then." I tell Trigger, who looks back at the three of us.
"Fine. Just make it fast. I'm tired as fuck." He replies, sitting down in the middle of the floor facing Dark Slash's mutliated, bloody body.
"Alright. I'm gonna cut him open and, Distrance, you hold him open with the pliers." I sigh and grasp a serrated combat knife that lies on top of the dufflebag.
Wordlessly, Distrance grasps the two pairs of pliers in an aura of brown telekinesis, staring intently at the mostly red alicorn. I bring the knife over to the half-conscious, blood dripping body hanging over the floor and place the blade on his stomach.
Without any hesitation, I drag the blade deep across the alicorn's stomach, causing blood to pour from the wound, partially exposing his organs. Spike yawns and plops on the ground next to Trigger, who eagerly watches me slice open the alicorn's tummy with glee.
I giggle in delight and pry open the flaps of the moaning alicorn's stomach with telekinesis from my horn, allowing Distrance to insert the pliers between the stomach flaps, pushing the bar in between the handles down to keep the long, rusty edges in an open fashion.
"Now then, let's see what we can pull out!" I happily state, using my telekinesis to nudge the pliers, checking them to see if they're stable.
"Ooh! There's his gall bladder! Let's get that first!" Distrance seems so giddy as he hops up and down.
"Let's move out of the way so our audience can see what we're doing." I politely imply as I step to the bloodied side of the alicorn; Distrance steps to the other side, combat knife in brown aura.
"What do you want to see us remove first?" I ask the half dazed crowd of two before us.
"Hmm...Let's see you sever his colon." Trigger happily suggests as his penis pokes from the entrance to his sheath.
"Alright! One severed asshole coming right up!" The giddy Distrance shoves the knife deep into the alicorn's stomach hole and shoves it downwards, twisting the steel implement in a 360 degree rotation.
Six seconds later, Distrance puts the knife back on the ground and uses telekinesis to pull the end of Dark Slash's severed, bloodied colon from the inside of his gut.
"One alicorn asshole! For here or to go?" I jokingly ask the audience as one last log of shit slides cleanly out of the rectum, plopping onto the blood red floor with a wet splat.
Trigger and Spike, both having massive erections, burst into intense laughter over the log of shit, rolling around on the floor and beating their hooves and fists against the ground, trying to breathe. I chuckle along, trying to suppress a huge torrent of laughs as Distrance grows blood red in the face, trying not to show any of the emotion in the crowd.
"O-okay! What's next?" I try my hardest to not laugh at the two obviously horny beings in the crowd laughing their asses off.
"Cut off his ears! A-and stuff them into the r-rec...asshole !" Spike tries his hardest to convey his message as his bloodshot face contorts to an almost euphoric laughter.
"With pleasure!" I chuckle, grabbing the knife on the floor as Distrance slaps the drooling, delirious Dark Slash to his final moments of life.
"Du.....fuuuuuck......burn in.......herr....." Dark Slash barely gets the words out before I begin to slice the ears, changing those words into gargled shrieks of pure agony.
I cut a circular pattern around the left ear, grasping the knife telekinetically, and slicing the cartilage with ease. Dark Slash, though shrieking at the top of his weakened lungs, is at the volume of a loud whisper and doesn't make any attempts to fight the inevitable. I pull the left ear from the side of the alicorn's head, leaving nothing but bone and bloody cartilage in its wake. I do the same to the next ear, and after several seconds, both ears are now severed hunks of cartilage caked with bloody meat laying on the bloodied, shitty floor.
"Distrance, use your telekinesis to hold open Dark Slash's colon." I smugly call, Distrance complies, opening the alicorn's asshole wide open.
"Don't say that I didn't warn you to fuck off from Twilight's life when I told you to." I shrug and dig the pointed part of the ear into Dark's severed anus, spitting along the circumference to keep it lubed up while I shove in the other ear.
"You just shoved... his ears ...up his ass ..." Spike sits agape, surprised that could even happen.
"Eeyup." I quote Applejack's brother, Big Macintosh, as I give a big, toothy grin.
"Let me finish him." Distrance states.
"Do yo' thang." I rely, sitting next to the horny Trigger.
"You know, I've heard a lot of shit about your types; arrogant, rude, sexist pervs who do nothing but ruin the lives of normal ponies. It's time we end you and the rest of your red and black friends once and for all!" Distrance growls in Dark Slash's face and gives the alicorn's nose one more lick.
Distrance plunges the blade of the combat knife into the alicorn's neck, letting the remnants of the blood in Dark Slash's body seep out and coagulate on the ground, mixing with the shit and viscera. Dark Slash's death throes consist of nothing but gurgled chokes and incomprehensible words. Right before the final drops of life escape the body of this hell-bound abomination of nature, Dark Slash peeps one more phrase that is surprisingly comprehensible.
"Element...of...Dark..." Dark Slash's eyes roll into the back of his head as he empties his bowels one more time, letting his ears flop to the floor from his severed colon.
"It's done." Distrance smiles, plunging the combat knife into the unbroken eye socket of the alicorn's fresh corpse.
Prologue: Patient's Group 'Therapy'
Equestria shines in a gloomy, snow caked day. Hay bound roofs and dirt roads are blanketed with a foot of snow as flakes of frozen water cascade down from the dark grey clouds suspended above Ponyville. Teams of weather pegasi patrol the skies and keep watch over the free falling ice particles as ponies below the clouds hustle and bustle about around town. Foals, young and teenage, play in the snow, tossing snowballs, building forts, and writing their name with 'lemonade' snow. Along one of these roads, another unicorn and I trot along the pathway to Ponyville's community center.
"Thanks for tagging along, Lyra." I turn my head and thank my friend who walks next to me.
"Sure thing, Patient. You looked like you needed some company." The mint unicorn turns her head towards me and smiles, her expression warming me up slightly.
"Guh...I just wish I would've brought a fucking coat." I complain, shivering and lighting a small, hovering flame in front of me with a spell.
"Yeah, you should have thought that through just a bit." Lyra laughs, sending caked on snow pelting onto the ground that was once blanketing her grey, hooded sweatshirt.
"At least we're almost there..." I trail off with a shiver as the two of us near my place of therapy.
The building, surrounded by icy fir trees, stands behind a moat of snow and sidewalks. The main lawn of the community center spouts thin, recently planted trees.
"Well, I think it's about time for me to get a move on. I'll see you later, Lyra!" I give my goodbye as Lyra gives me a warming grin and waves at me as I gallop towards the metal-lined glass front door.
I stand in a hallway, right in front of a mahogany, closed door. The long, narrow slit of a window to the door is fitted with metal grating on the inside for some reason. The heat of the hallway burns my ears and nose, but I'm thankful to be inside and at my destination. I take a deep breath, let it go, and open the door.
Inside is an almost barren room fitted with carpet along the floor and a long window that stretches across the wall before me. A series of chairs are arranged into a circle before the window. Each and every chair, except for one, has a pony in it. One pony, an obviously aging unicorn with a white, balding mane, looks over at me and smiles.
"Ah, you must be Patient Care. Come in, we're just getting started with the session." The therapist happily greets me as I walk to the empty chair and take a seat.
I look around the circle, at each pony giving each other a disdainful look, and then at the two ponies sitting next to me; one of them being a white coated earth pony with a black and yellow striped mane. His flank bears a red, white, and blue shape I cannot identify. On the other side of me, a light green mare who looks to be in her late teens, sits bored and looking around the room with vacant eyes.
"Alright! Let's go around the circle and introduce yourselves! First say your name, your job, one thing you like to do, and the reason why you signed up for this." The therapist's pink iris eyes happily scan the crowd of pissed ponies before him.
Each pony, starting with the one to his right, stood up, gave the required information, and sat back down. This went on in a clock-wise fashion until the turn came for the filly next to me. She stood up...
"Polished Pins. I'm a tailor. I like to read. Mom forced me into this." She blankly spat, almost dripping with angst, before she sits back down.
My turn.
"My name's Patient Care, I'm a nurse, I like human and pony music, I've signed up for this myself, and I have some deep psychological shit that's not been fixed as of late." I rattle off my required lines with slightly more interest in my voice than Polished Pins and then sit down, the therapist nodding and grinning the whole time.
The earth pony next to me stands up.
"Name's Golden Mule, friends call me 'Gold'. I'm a wrestler. I love wrestling, and the court made me come here because I beat up some shifty looking unicorn who gave me a raw deal in the market...fuckin' Narwhals..." The gold and black mane earth pony clearly states.
"Mister Mule, we do not use racial slurs in here. Vulgar language is fine if you want to get your point across, but no racism is allowed in here." The unicorn therapist calmly and paternally scolds the wrestler as he blows a puff of sarcastic air through his lips.
"Anyways...let's continue." The therapist sighs and looks at the next pony.
"Human music, too?" Polished Pins leans over to me and asks as the next pony recited why she's here.
"Divine Heresy, Persephone, Isis..." I list a few names, leaning in and filling her in.
"Hmph. Not bad. Hydra's Wings all the way, man." She smiles; I smile back, having listened to that pony band many times before.
"Now that we've all got acquainted with each other, let's all talk about why we're here. Not about the circumstances. We'll do this in the same fashion as we did with the introduction." The therapist smiles at the group, who blankly and bemusedly gaze back.
The line goes through the group again until it reaches Polished Pins.
"I've just stopped giving a fuck about school, so mom starts to yell at me. I yell back and we get into big arguments." She states, shrugging and sitting back down.
I stand up.
"I worked in a field hospital in the War of Eth'narak Plains. Probably the stress just stayed with me and that's why I act so angry sometimes." I state and sit back down.
Gold's turn.
"I just hate those fucking Narwhals." He chuckles and eyes the therapist.
"Mister Mule! I need you to stop using that language! If you don't stop, then I must be forced to call security to remove you!" The therapist seems legitimately annoyed as his soft voice turns to one of frustration.
"I don't care what you have to say, Narwhal! I can say whatever the fuck I want, you money-grabbing, greedy whale!" He shouts, making the other 5 unicorns in the group visibly angry...including me.
I stand up and tap his shoulder with a hoof. He turns towards me and gives me a furious gaze.
"The fuck do you want, Narwhal??" His angry shout sends droplets of spit towards my face.
All is silent for a few seconds while I gather what I want to say; so silent a pen drops from the therapist's lap and lands on a floor, causing a sonic boom within the silence.
"Where did you learn to be such a cunt?" I quietly and blankly ask. The eyes of the group widen.
"Excuse me, ya fuckin' pig!?" Gold pushes me back with a hoof.
"I asked: where...did you...learn...to be...such...a cunt?" I slowly ask him, like asking a foreign Zebra something in broken pony-language.
"Fuck you, Narwhal! I don't gotta take shit from you, ya money grabbing banker shit sucker!" His frown turns to a confident smile.
"Call me Narwhal again." I tell him, making eye contact.
"Narwhal." He's right up in my face.
I nod and turn away towards Polished Pins, who's mouth is nearly agape and eyes are wide. I turn around to see that Gold is sitting, rubbing his eyes with his hooves. This is my chance...
Without warning or mercy, I buck my back legs furiously at Gold's head. A sick, visceral crunch echos around the room as the earth pony falls unconscious. Blood and bits of broken teeth litter the floor in front of the chair that Gold is slumped forward over as the wrestler bleeds from bruised cuts all along his cheek and forehead; his black eye visibly pulses from the impact of my hind legs. The room is silent, par for my heavy breathing; all eyes are upon me, some with horror and some with joy...the joyous ones come from the therapist, the other unicorns, and Polished Pins.
"I, uh...I've gotta...go..." I stammer as I slowly stumble towards the door, trying to act casual.
I rush out of the community center and flee into downtown Ponyville...
Author's Note
Sorry this had to come out so late, but I thought it'd be a nice addition.
SIX HOURS LATER
The six of us, Twilight, Applejack, Spike, Distrance, Trigger, and I, sit around Twilight's breakfast nook, eating a round of sandwiches Twilight whipped up to congratulate us on such a good job.
"To friends!" Twilight raises up her glass or OJ; we all do the same, including me, even though I hate participating in toasts.
"So. How did you solve that little alicorn problem of Twilight's?" Applejack asks Distrance, who sits next to her.
"It was...not necessarily complicated, but a fun and enjoyable experience nonetheless." Distrance takes a sip of coffee while Trigger dumps half a bottle of Twilight's hooch into his glass, chugging the whole thing in one go.
"Jeez, want some cup with your alcohol?" Spike deadpans, Trigger gives him an implied "middle claw".
"Pffft. Twilight doesn't mind...right ?" Trigger looks to Twilight for conformation, who smiles and nods.
"Well, I'm very glad that we got this over with, now I can go back to my anger management classes without picking a fight with earth ponies." I chuckle, glancing at Applejack and giving her an expression of 'it's a joke, sweeite'.
"Oh, Patient, I whipped this up while I was at Applejack's." Twilight hands me a scroll with the word 'Patient' scribbled on it in ink.
"Thanks. What's this about?" I ask while opening the scroll, only to find something that made me chuckle...
It was a conjuring spell for Lye Powder...
