A Blind Mare's Childish Wishes

I sighed as I turned the sheet over, placing it on the second pile in front of me. Filling out quarterly reports was such an extremely tedious task. It took the better part of a week, four times a year. On top of that, splitting the workload over a month just wasn’t wise, as anything big happening could force me to redo all of it.

Worst of all, I wasn’t allowed to have anypony help me or do it in my stead. No, this was a job for the overmare alone, and it was part of why I’d never wanted that job. Still, it was my duty, and I would do it until I could train a proper replacement.

Naturally, that thought was enough to remind me of my failed attempts at having another child. I had to remind myself of what I knew; I wasn't the youngest mare anymore, so it made sense that conceiving wouldn't succeed immediately. Still, I couldn't help but regret not having started sooner. But then again, it would have—

My train of thought was interrupted by a few knocks on the door. Who could that be? Everypony knew not to bother me when I was working. I struggled to think about what could be urgent enough to interrupt the quarterly report of all things. "Yes?" I calmly called out, not willing to show even a drop of my worry and anger.

The door opened, and in trotted Cotton Candy, her usually voluminous white mane drooping slightly with grease. Couldn't that mare take better care of herself? She was supposed to be one of the faces of our stable’s government, and she dared look like some common worker freshly out of her shift?

Before I could ask her what she wanted from me, somepony else trotted into the room, causing a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. No, not somepony. A griffin, larger than even the biggest ponies I'd seen, her face covered in half a dozen small scars. Her predatory eyes glanced about the room, only briefly stopping on me. I felt myself shiver, unable to suppress it. Hopefully, nopony noticed. "What is the meaning of this, Cotton?"

She didn't answer immediately, looking over to the door where a tall unicorn had just appeared. No, not just any unicorn, but my own daughter. I'd taken a few long seconds to recognise her, but I could hardly blame myself. Not only stood she as tall as the griffin, she was even more hideously scarred. Fur was missing on the left side of her muzzle, instead replaced by a grizzly burn scar. A cut ran along her right eye, and most of her left ear was missing. Even her mane was a disgrace to somepony of my lineage, cut to a horribly utilitarian short mohawk. On her left foreleg, I spotted a PipBuck delta, the same model as Concerto had before his… disappearance. Most likely it was the exact one.

As she trotted into the room, she looked disinterested, as if none of this mattered. Then, when she finally met my gaze, her muzzle turned to a confident smile. "Hello, Mother."

“Oh, so you dare show yourself here after what you did.” I tried to sound calm, but couldn’t stop myself from hesitating. What in the name of every overmare was going on here? “What do you want?” I didn’t wait for her reply as I turned to Cotton, “What is the meaning of this?” Finally, I pointed at the griffin. “And who is that?”

Sonata waited, a small, calm, but arrogant smile on her face. She was playing a game and wanted me to know it. Surely she didn’t believe she could beat me using my own tricks, did she?

“That would be Grace, Iron’s bodyguard,” Cotton said solemnly. “As for why we are here, I believe it is best to wait until the others arrive.”

I lifted an eyebrow. “The others? Surely you are not implying what I think you are.”

“But I am. Your hearing will be fair, though evidence is stacked against you.” She shook her head. “I will try my best to be unbiased, but if I find out that your actions did lead to my daughter’s death, so Celestia help me, I might just gun you down on the spot.”

Lovely, threats of physical violence. “I see.”

We waited in silence. Part of me was curious about what had happened to Sonata for her to end up in such a pitiful state, but I couldn’t show any signs of weakness now. If I did, this would be the end of me.

Eventually, Crescent Hammer arrived before soon being joined by Iodine Pill. She shut the door behind her, and Cotton Candy spoke up.

“Alright, let’s get started.” Everypony but myself nodded, while I simply looked annoyed. “Brass Shine, you are accused of being an accomplice in the abuse of your own daughter. What do you have to say for yourself? Additional charges include conspiring to overthrow the previous overstallion and exploiting the judicial system for your own benefit.”

This was bad. If they managed to prove any of this, I was out. Even if they just showed that I was complacent, it would be enough. Normally, mere complacency wouldn’t be a huge crime, but given my position, this could be used as a reason to oust me. “What brings on such ridiculous accusations?” I knew what, but I needed them on the defensive if I wanted any shot at fixing this.

“I think it would be quite obvious that it is due to the filly coming back to the stable,” retorted Iodine in a dry tone.

“So what, the testimony of a murderer is now worth as much as the word of the overmare? Is it not obvious she wants something out of this? Perhaps she blames me for something I could not have fixed.” I shot her a deathly glare, but she just smiled all the more serenely. “Or perhaps she’s trying to sew chaos for her own benefit.”

Crescent hung his head in disappointment. “Come on, Brass. It pains me to see you like this, just tell the truth, and we’ll figure it all out together.” Good, he believed I was innocent, even if not completely. It meant I had some room to manoeuvre.

I shook my head and sighed. “I’m sorry, dear, but those allegations are beyond ridiculous. I utterly refuse to take them seriously for even a second.”

He didn’t reply, instead letting Cotton Candy speak up. “Brass, we’ve had our doubts for a long while. It struck me as weird that you waited for that long before doing anything about the situation with your ex-husband; you’re not a weak mare, so you wouldn’t be intimidated by Concerto. What’s worse, you two completely isolated Iron. It just did not add up; we let it go because we knew it would be counterproductive if Iron was already gone, but now that we have her testimony? Things aren’t looking good.”

“So, you are saying it is a hunch?” I lifted an eyebrow. “Oh, right, I forgot you are also counting the murderer’s word against mine.”

Cotton just rolled her eyes. “Look, let us take a look into your terminal, at your journal. That should prove your innocence, right?” Why did I have to tell her about that stupid journal? But that was years ago, how did she still remember it?

“I refuse. That is private to me.” They really had no concrete evidence, and ponies wouldn’t like it if they ousted me on a hunch.

“As expected, then. We shall proceed as discussed,” said Cotton.

“‘As discussed’? So you were plotting this?” I glared at her, but she just looked disappointed.

She gently shook her head. “We talked a little when Iron first arrived, six hours ago.”

“This mare has been in the stable for six hours, and nopony thought to inform me?” I said in a low, dangerous tone.

However, it didn’t have the intended effect, as Cotton calmly replied, “It didn’t seem worthy of your time; I know how much you hate being interrupted while working on that report, and I didn’t want to bother you.”

I had to actively stop myself from scowling. How fucking dare they?

Cotton pointed to Sonata. “Anyway, would you do us the honour?”

She nodded, and her horn glowed. Suddenly, I felt a pressure in my head. “What exactly are you doing, pray tell?” This couldn’t be what I thought it was. No no no, calm down, Brass. This is just a trick. A hoax.

“She claims she can fish your password out of your mind,” said Cotton while approaching my terminal at the other desk. I tried to stop her, but the large griffin blocked my path.

“First character is a nine,” Iron said, “followed by a capital A.”

How was she doing this? Cotton’s magic glowed, and she started typing on the keyboard. I tried to think about anything else, started thinking about my nights with Crescent. Surely that would keep her out of my mind.

“Lowercase W.” Click. “Uppercase S.” Click. How? I was sure I hadn’t been thinking at all about it! Unless her magic ran deeper than that? No, that couldn’t be, no unicorn could do that! “Caret.” Click. “At.” Click. How, how, how, how how? “Uppercase B.” Click. “Eight.” Click. “Lowercase X.” Click. “And that seems to be all.”

The pressure in my head receded, and Cotton pressed the enter key, seemingly uncertain. A moment later, the terminal beeped in acknowledgement.

“This is a breach of privacy! When this senseless hearing is over, I shall have you executed!” Fuck, fuck, fuck! I was losing my cool. All because of her! If she hadn’t been so stupid as to follow her father out of the fucking stable, none of this would have happened!

There had to still be a way out of this. Think, Brass, think! Right! I knew how! “Wait!” Cotton turned around and met my gaze. Her look told me this was my last chance. “I’ll… I’ll talk. I’d rather give you a version that puts me in the best light; my journal wasn’t meant to ever be read by anypony other than my successor.” Before anyone had the chance to retort, I added, “I will let Iodine read my journal and confirm my story.”

Everypony remained quiet. Iodine’s expression was indecipherable while she sat down in front of the terminal, as per usual for her. Cotton looked wary, but willing to hear me out. Crescent had a relieved smile on his face. Things were looking good! Iodine already knew all of what I was about to say. I had no doubt they needed to hear a good chunk of the truth before they were satisfied, but this would work.

We all waited in silence as Iodine feigned skimming through my journal entries. After maybe ten minutes, she had caught up and nodded to me.

However, as my eyes met Sonata’s, the pit of my stomach sank. The confident smirk she gave me scared me more than I liked to admit. What was she playing at? Surely, she knew I was about to turn the situation around.

Anyway, I needed to start talking. I gave them a dramatic sigh. “When I was a filly, my family was torn apart by this stable’s endless political games. My father was stripped of all bits and rank, and was thus forced to work at the lowest level, while my mother and I were allowed to keep our previous lives. That was when I made it my goal to stop that once and for all, after I eventually became overmare.

“So, I devised a plan. Every free hour was spent trying to catch an if or a but. I wanted to become such an ideal overmare that almost nopony would want me removed. So that I would have enough allies that my enemies would always be outclassed, no matter what they attempted.”

I paused for a second to plan out what to say next and to gauge their reactions. Cotton’s look was slowly softening, while Crescent nodded reassuringly. From the brief glances she threw my way in between pretending to read my diary, I could tell Iodine was bored out of her mind, but also a little bit angry. The griffin scratched the back of her head before yawning. And Sonata… Sonata still looked utterly confident.

I let out a drawn out sigh. “Soon, I realised it simply wouldn’t work. No matter what I did, I wasn’t a perfect politician; I hadn’t been raised to do that. On top of that, my family was one of the three always vying for power; the others were bound to try and take my rank the moment I gained it.”

I scowled and looked at my desk in disappointment before continuing, “No, I couldn’t be the perfect overmare this stable needed. But I could set it up; ensure that the next generation would have a pony capable of becoming that. I would level the playing field and raise a pony who would know to take advantage of it.

“I picked a stallion from one of the other families and decided to marry him. It wasn’t too difficult to convince my mother that it would be ideal for the future of our own line. I purposefully picked a stallion who wasn’t very bright; one I knew I could control, and one I knew wouldn’t be adored by anypony, so getting rid of him would not cause too much harm to the stable.”

I took a moment to lean forward in my chair. “However, my plan was pushed to its breaking point. I knew there was a risk that he would hurt Sonata, but I took that into account. I never wanted her to suffer like she did, but it was too early to remove Concerto; if I became overmare then, it would have caused a chain reaction that would have endangered everything.

“What I did not plan for, however, were the events of three and a half years ago.” I furrowed my brow and feigned a dejected look as I stared at my desk. “No, just a few key details I would have never expected. Just a few things that ruined everything.” I scowled at the pony who’d once been my daughter, but she still showed no sign of being bothered.

“I had a workaround for almost any of Sonata’s actions. Almost. The one thing I didn’t consider was that she would turn into a murderer as soon as she managed to get her horn on a gun.” Out of anyone in the room, I was surprised to see the griffin shocked by this revelation. Did she think her boss was some kind of innocent victim? Or was there something else?

I shook my head. “With that, my entire plan crumbled. Normal ponies had seen what she had done. If she were to eventually become overmare, she would just continue the endless cycle of political games; eventually, somepony would use her crime against her to oust her.

“I knew I had to try again; to replan everything. What I quickly realised was that I needed to become overmare if I wanted another shot at creating the perfect one, the one who’d bring us the stability we so desperately need. If I stayed in power just long enough, I’d manage to make things right.” I looked over at Crescent. “This time, I just went for a stallion I liked, instead of trying to mould one into being a conditionally competent overstallion.” Well, that was half true anyway. He’d be useful for certain, but there was no denying I liked him.

I took a deep breath as I gauged the reactions of two of the three Heads. Crescent, wan smile on his lips, was very clearly on my side; he’d been worried when I mentioned Concerto, but my last sentence put him at ease. Cotton clearly didn’t like this, but I could tell she would accept it. Iron still seemed confident of her victory, despite her very obvious defeat.

However, the one pony I’d trusted had a hard look on her face when she turned around. “Lovely story,” said Iodine, “except that it’s just false enough to paint you as a saviour.”

“Whatever do you mean? You’ve read my journal, you know it’s true!” What in the everloving fuck was she playing at?

“You manipulated Concerto so he would abuse your daughter.” She paused for just long enough to let the accusation seep in. “You did so with two goals in mind. First, so that she would be able to bear just about anything without complaining, as long as it came from you, the good parent. Second, so that the stable would see her as a victim of the political games; you wanted them to see her just like you saw yourself.”

The room turned against me, hard glares meeting my eyes in every direction. Every direction except Sonata, who dared pity me.

That was enough to bubble my rage over, and I regretted the words as I shouted them, “Iodine, what the fuck? I thought you were on my side!”

She shook her head. “I’m on the stable’s side, Brass. You know how we found Iron earlier today? She was surrounded by a dozen middle class citizens, telling her story. And they believed her. Even if the rest of us joined in on you and I’s conspiracy, you would very soon find yourself with a figurative knife in your back.”

I tried to project myself, but she cut me off. “All these years I’ve played cloak-and-dagger with you because I believed it was all for the best. I’ve watched you drive my youngest brother insane with your mind tricks for over a decade.” She stomped her hoof on the concrete floor. “Then, when your plan spectacularly backfired, I decided to stick with you. I’d already invested too much to give up; I was willing to sacrifice a filly to the wasteland if it meant the stable would be fine.” She slowly shook her head. “Now, though, I’ve realised that this is all sunk cost that I’m never getting back. Continuing this game only ever hurts the stable, and I’m not willing to let it hit rock bottom just because you think it might get better eventually.”

Others started shouting at me, calling me names, before trying to salvage the situation for themselves. At some point it stopped mattering to me. This wasn’t real, so why would I bother caring? I found myself staring at some point, far beyond the wall, and barely even noticed when Sonata approached me.

“Apologies for this, Mother,” she said. “I’m quite sure you realise that I did this out of necessity, though.”

“And you think I didn’t?” I retorted. “You think my actions were just for the fun of it?”

“Oh, I understand why you did all of this. Though I will admit that I didn’t have all the details, and hearing them said aloud really stung.” She frowned and broke eye contact. Then, she shrugged and met my gaze again. “However, that also does make getting rid of you so much easier on myself. I suppose it is only fair now.”

“You fucking bitch! You’re just playing the political game of this forsaken stable! Don’t you realise that you will be in this exact position in a few years?” She wasn’t even phased by my outburst, which made me all the angrier. “Taking the throne now will only result in the same events playing out. Eventually, somepony will find out what you did and use it to turn enough others against you to seize power! You didn’t change anything!”

Indignant annoyance became obvious on her face. “You think I play on a small scale like yourself? This is just the first step to what I really want to achieve. I don’t give a molerat’s ass about power. It’s just a tool to a goal, just like I was to you.”

“And it would have worked flawlessly if you weren’t a fucking murdering lunatic! I often asked myself what I could have done to avoid it; what I could have done better. But no, I don’t think I could have prevented you turning into a murderer, not without giving up on my fucking plans!”

Her glare intensified, and I was so happy to finally be rid of that stupid smirk of hers. She furrowed her brows, shaking her head. “Do you really think you can put a filly through a hell like my foalhood and somehow have her turn out alright?”

“Yes, because no normal pony would turn killer the moment they have the chance to! Face it, Sonata, you’re defective!” I’d drag her down with me, if it was the last thing I did as overmare. “Something went wrong when I was still carrying you, and your brain never fully developed. This is on you. I used to feel guilty for what I’d put you through, but I’ve long since realised you deserved it all, you worthless wretch—”

I cut myself off as her glare turned to vicious, primal rage. Gone was the curt anger she’d shown before, replaced instead with a fury that made me fear for my life. As her horn started glowing, my instinct told me to run. I hastily took a few steps back, but tripped. That, however, was enough to save my life. A knife appeared out of thin air, plunging forward where I’d just been, instead only leaving a shallow gash that still burned horribly.

I felt myself tremble, unable to move as Sonata took a step forward. Suddenly, the large griffin leaped at me as well, and I closed my eyes, expecting a painful end.

It never came. When I opened them again, I found her facing away from me, “Iron, calm down. This isn’t what we’re here for.”

Iron grunted in frustration and stormed out of the room. The moment she shut the door behind her, I fainted.

I was sitting in the middle of a large room. Unlike the rest of the stable, it didn’t feel claustrophobic. If it wasn’t for the knowledge that I was below thousands of tonnes of rock, I could have almost relaxed here.

Well, there was also the fact that I couldn’t stop thinking about what the overmare had said. Specifically, that she’d called Iron “Sonata”. For some reason, that really struck a chord with me, but I could not figure out why. It was the same feeling I had with Iron’s name in general, just so much stronger. I was missing something, a crucial piece of the puzzle. Was I forgetting something?

“Grace? What are you doing here?” called out a mare’s voice. “Shouldn’t you be with Iron?”

Craning my head, I looked at… Cotton? Yes, Cotton. The security mare with the nice flank—despite her age. Her mane looked just poofy and white enough to make her name almost obvious.

I shook my head. “Nah, she wanted to be alone for a sec, get her thoughts in order and all that.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Still, you should at least be in her general vicinity, given that you’re her bodyguard.”

I shrugged. “I was just here to look the part. She’s more than capable of handling herself. She could probably kill me if we fought.” I gestured to Cotton’s horn. “What with her unicorn bullshit and all.”

“I… see.” Cotton slowly nodded before hesitantly approaching. “Can I ask you a few things? About the world outside.” She furrowed her brow. “You were born outside, right?”

I nodded.

She sat down next to me. “How’s life there?”

I shrugged. “It’s… life, I dunno. Never really experienced anything else, so I wouldn’t know how to gauge it. I could maybe start telling you about life as an orphan forced into being a bandit, but that’s not really the norm out there.”

“Hmm… I guess that makes sense. So I take it the world isn’t covered with radiation strong enough to melt your insides the moment you step outside?” She paused for a bit, with a sheepish smile on her face. She reminded me of someone… “I know, I know, stupid question, but I’ve always wondered what dangers could lie outside.”

I felt the corners of my beak turn up in a smile. “There are pockets of radiation that could kill you in seconds, but no one I know has ever stumbled into them by accident.” For a moment I considered telling her about taint, but instead decided to comment on the fact that she hadn’t judged me. “That said, I’m a tad amazed by your reaction to knowing that I was a bandit. I feel like most stable ponies woulda at least winced or something.”

It was her turn to shrug. “I’m not in a great position to judge how wastelanders live their life. I don’t know what you’ve been through, or even what drove you to do it.”

She met my gaze with a gentle smile, and in that moment, I realised that the pony she reminded me of was Candy. Not only in terms of appearance, but in personality and… attitude? I must have been staring, as she commented, “Are you alright?”

I shook myself out of my stupor. “Sorry, sorry, you just really reminded me of a mare who was very dear to me, a long time ago.” Well, only a few years, but my time with her felt like it had been a different century.

“Ah, I understand.” She gave me a gentle smile. “Well, in either case, it’s extremely reassuring to hear that the outside is survivable. Makes me wonder if we should maybe consider opening our doors. It would certainly be a way to end this endless game of cloak-and-dagger.”

I chuckled. “You’re going to like what Iron has planned for this place, then.”

Cotton raised an eyebrow. “What… she’s planned? You talk like she’s overmare now.”

Oh fuck, I’d said too much. “Uhhh, now I’m unsure. She was talking like it was a given, so maybe there’s a detail I’m missing. Shit, I hope I didn’t just ruin her plan, whatever it is.”

“Yeah… I don’t think the other Heads would be fine with letting someone who’s lived so long outside the stable become overmare.” Cotton shrugged, then added, “If anything, Iodine is likely to be next.”

“You’re right, I guess. I probably misunderstood something, then. I wasn’t paying too much attention when she debriefed us. I just remembered what I was supposed to do.” I chuckled. “Now that I think about it, a vicious mercenary ruling over such a prim and proper place is kinda ridiculous.”

Cotton tilted her head to the side and opened her mouth in confusion. “Who said anything about you becoming overmare?”

“I was talking about Iron…” Why would she assume otherwise? “You know, the battle-scarred unicorn who could easily kill me?”

If my own past hadn’t shocked her, this certainly did. “I… What?” She tried to form a sentence, but ended up only saying individual words. Finally, she shook her head, then went quiet for a second.

“Is it really that hard to believe that the huge unicorn, who constantly looks like someone pissed in her soup, is a brutal killer?” I made a confused gesture with my right foreleg.

“It’s just…” She paused again, but this time continued within a few moments, “It’s weird to think of Little Iron as a vicious murderer, even though I know what she did to her father…”

“Little…?” In my mind, a chain reaction went off, too fast for me to immediately understand what was going on.

Cotton chuckled. “Yeah, I guess ‘little’ doesn’t really apply to her anymore. I’ve just known her since she was tiny, and haven’t really seen her much since.”

The gears in my head continued turning. “So, how old is she?”

She opened her mouth to reply, but then scowled. “I… I’m not sure, as much as it sucks to admit…” She started mumbling to herself. “So she was born a few years after the end of Carrot’s term, and from what Brass has told me, she was old enough to start her term sooner rather than later…” She raised her voice again. “Best I can say is between fifteen and seventeen?”

That was much younger than I would have thought. Everything fell into place. That was why this all rang a bell! But no, that couldn’t be right. That didn’t make sense… Unless…? Cotton opened her mouth, but I cut her off immediately. “Earlier the overmare called Iron ‘Sonata’! Why was that?”

She had that 'Are you fucking retarded? Wait, I probably shouldn't say that out loud' look on her face, along with a healthy dose of confusion. “Because… it’s her name?”

“So she’s the filly Candy was looking for!” Then another epiphany hit. “Wait! So you must be Candy’s mother!”

“Yes, that was… my… daughter’s… name…” As she talked, her tone grew more and more hesitant. “But wait… something doesn’t add up here. Iron told me Candy died almost three years ago, but you only met Iron a few weeks ago, correct?”

I nodded, and more pieces of the puzzle started falling into place. “And Candy was decidedly alive when I last saw her, about a year and a half ago…”

Her eyes lit up. “I… wow.” Tears were welling up on her face. Her muzzle still showed a smile.

As touching as it was, I couldn't stay around and wait. I started walking back towards the overmare’s living quarters, intent on not letting the tight corridors get to me. “I really need to talk to Iron now.”

To my surprise, she went and followed me. “And I need to get out of this stable, as soon as possible. My baby is out there, and I will find her. Where did you last see her?”

“Eastern Equestria, a few days’ worth of travel south from Manehattan, though I doubt she’ll be anywhere nearby now.” I clicked the button and started tapping my claws on the concrete as I waited for the door to open. “And I’m pretty sure Iron will want to find her as well, if I go by what Candy told me.” It was so clear in hindsight. Of course that was where I’d heard the name. I picked up my pace.

To my surprise Cotton kept up with no issue, though by now she was mostly talking to herself. “Now I gotta find a way to leave the stable without causing too much havoc.”

“That won’t be an issue soon, so don’t worry.” Well, at least if I understood the plan correctly.

This side of Iron’s really annoyed me. When she wasn’t being a scheming little fuck, she was actually surprisingly enjoyable to be around. Really, what would it have cost her to explain the whole plan to me? Like, I was supposedly important in it, so why did she only give me exactly as much as I needed to know?

I turned another corner and finally spotted my destination. After entering the main room, I felt a mild wave of relief wash over me, mostly due to the size of this room compared to those shitty corridors.

With Cotton next to me, I knocked on the door to Iron’s room. I only knew which one it was because I’d seen her enter it earlier.

“Didn’t I tell you to leave me alone?” Still pissed, huh? I mean I couldn’t blame her, I would have wanted to tear… that cunt’s head off—whatever her name was.

“You did,” I said, “but it’s important. Really important.”

The door opened with the hiss of hydraulics, and I heard Iron drop out of bed. “Fine. But if this is bad news, I might go on a rampage.”

“It’s great news, actually!” I said in a voice more chipper than I would have expected.

I held my breath as somepony walked past me. A dark blue young mare dressed in StableTec utility barding. She looked utterly exhausted and ready to collapse. For a second, she stared right at me before blinking and turning down the corridor.

I breathed a sigh of relief. If she’d been fully awake, she might have noticed the soft shimmers that supposedly come with StealthBuck usage. I’d been avoiding getting close to ponies for that specific reason, but unfortunate timing made it so that she almost walked into me as she exited a room.

I’d been at this for the past ten minutes, ever since entering the stable with Sonata and Grace, and this was the first time such a close call had happened. I’d turned off the EFS because it was more distracting than anything else when there were this many ponies around.

Once the mare moved on, I continued on my journey. My first goal was a storage closet on the third floor. Sonata had placed a marker on the map for me, and it was just a matter of actually getting to it.

Even still, I didn’t like this place. I was used to exploring tight spaces, but something about the stable made me feel particularly claustrophobic. I barely stopped myself from sighing, then checked Iron’s PipBuck for where I was meant to go next.

The rest of my trip went by rather uneventfully. I avoided the more populated areas as Sonata had suggested, and was now approaching the designated room. If I remembered correctly, it would be at the end of this corridor.

Then, I felt a push; a certain pressure in my mind. I needed a few moments to remember what that was before I let it in.

A thought crossed my mind, Hey, are you getting close to that closet?

The thought wasn’t mine and felt strange and alien. We’d tried this before, and the second time didn’t feel any less… wrong. Maybe after the fifth or tenth time I’d get used to it.

Yeah, I replied, trying to visualise talking across the link. I’m almost there.

Thankfully, I could choose what to send to her, and she didn’t just intrude in my mind. That would have been truly scary.

Good, good. Do you remember where to go next?

I nodded, but then felt silly as I realised she wouldn’t see me.

However, the intention had apparently been good enough, as she replied, Great! I’ll keep the link open. Tell me when you get to the terminal.

The fact that she knew spells that Iron didn’t freaked me out ever so slightly, especially since Iron herself wasn’t aware of them.

My train of thought was stopped as I arrived in front of the storage closet. I checked if anypony was around before pressing the button.

As expected, it was unlocked and opened with no problem. Inside, it took me a few moments of digging through cardboard boxes to find what I was after: a StableTec jumpsuit that would fit me.

Iron had spotted them in her walks through the stable’s ventilation systems, all these years ago. Sonata had decided to use them, since I would otherwise stand out like a sore hoof with all these scars on my back.

Of course, if everything went well, I would stay hidden for most of my time here and only come out once Sonata had everything taken care of. Still, even after that, it would be better for me to not cause too much of a stir.

Just in case, I grabbed another two jumpsuits; one a size larger and one a size smaller, and shoved them into my saddlebags as well. I didn’t bother putting them on immediately; it would be difficult if I could barely see my limbs.

I left the tiny room and made for my next destination: another one of those small closets, though this one was intended for maintenance ponies to use. It wasn’t all too far away from here.

When I reached it, I focused on the link that I could still feel. I’m there. I’ll start working on breaking into the terminal in a second.

I might be able to help you for a bit once I’m done talking to the three Heads.

That was the other reason she wasn’t the one doing this. The stable door had opened, and it had been noticed. Sonata wouldn’t be able to walk in unnoticed, even with a StealthBuck. Instead, her part of the plan involved getting a meeting with the ponies in charge of this place.

Alright. Frankly, I didn’t need her help; I’d seen Iron do it enough times to understand the concept more than well enough, and I’d gotten some practice before coming here.

Ten minutes later, I was close to pulling out my mane in frustration. I’d gotten two characters, but the password seemed to be completely random. Thankfully, it was apparently rather short, which was the only thing keeping me going.

After another ten minutes passed, the StealthBuck wore off, and I suddenly felt awfully exposed, even inside this small closet. I shook off the feeling and went back to work. Within the hour, I finally had the overmare’s password, along with a splitting headache.

The next part of the plan called for me to wait here for a few hours. I didn’t particularly look forward to it, as this was far from comfortable. I had a book to pass the time—I swear, Iron was wearing off on me. And I also could telepathically talk to Sonata.

She seemed much nicer than Iron on the surface, but she creeped me out. At first, it was only because she was so different from the pony I’d grown to deeply care about, while sharing her face and even body.

Now though? After hearing her plan, I could definitely tell she wasn’t anypony I wanted to get close to. One could argue that she was only this manipulative when it came to her enemies, but I just wasn’t comfortable around somepony whose main approach to any problem was schemes, cloaks, and daggers.

Not to mention, while she talked to the Heads of the stable, some of her feelings trickled through. It was a mixture of confidence, haughtiness, and a sick satisfaction at seeing her plans move along. I didn’t like her one bit.

I nodded to Grace and Cotton, and they left into the main corridor, headed for Cotton’s quarters. She wanted to leave with us and had asked Grace to give her a primer on wasteland survival.

Though in reality, that was more of an excuse not to be around Iron right now, I presumed. Grace had given me a very short summary of what she’d told Iron, and of how Iron had not reacted well. Part of me wanted to be annoyed at them for leaving me to deal with it, but I also couldn’t blame them. After all, only I was close enough to her to get her to properly open up. And besides, another part of me knew they would just have gotten in the way.

After the entrance door closed, I took a moment to take a deep breath before knocking.

“What is it now?” As expected, she wasn’t happy.

“Hey, Iron, I heard from Grace you’re not doing too well. Can I come in?”

There was a pregnant silence before I heard her reply, “Alright.”

I pressed the button, and the door opened. Stepping inside, I immediately noticed the complete chaos that reigned here. Metal furniture lay strewn around the room along with torn books, scrap paper, and writing supplies snapped in two. A bookshelf had been overturned and now blocked most of the way in, while a desk lay upside down underneath a deep gash in the concrete wall.

On the other side, Iron sat on a twin bed. It had clearly also been recently moved, but haphazardly put back into place. An open book lay on top of the pillow.

I stepped around the bookshelf and closed the door behind me before approaching Iron. “Good book?”

She shrugged. “Fuck if I know. Been staring at it for half an hour, and I’ve read like two pages. Can’t focus.” She was trying to act casual, but a few hesitations here and there told me all I needed to know.

“Makes sense, lots of things on your mind and all that. I’ll be honest, I was expecting to find you absolutely furious.” I walked towards the bed and pointed to the empty space next to her. She nodded, and I sat down next to her, leaning against her. “I was a bit scared, I’ll admit.”

“At first I was. I screamed, threw my desk at the wall, and fantasised about all the different ways to kill that feathered cunt in the most violent, horrific, and painful ways possible.” Her voice trembled, but she did her best to keep it level.

“That… sounds a lot more like what I heard from Grace.” I craned my neck to look at her face, only to find her staring at one of the walls.

We sat in silence for a while. I had a hard time coming up with what to say next, so instead I just shifted even closer to her.

I spent a few moments trying to find a good way to ask. Then, I decided to go for the simplest solution and just be honest. “Would you mind telling me exactly what happened? Grace only really gave me a short summary.”

Again, she shrugged. “Not really. Not much to talk about, and it would probably piss me off again to bring it all back up.”

I hummed in response. “I understand. I’m here if you want to talk.”

“What is there to talk about? Shit happens. Nothing I can do about it now.” She snapped at me, but I could tell she didn’t mean to. “It’s not like it fucking matters,” she added in a dejected tone. She was definitely trying to act strong again. I wouldn’t allow that to happen.

“Come on, Iron.” I craned my neck forward and tried to turn her head to face me. She didn’t let me, moving out of the way and refusing to meet my gaze. I sighed and continued, disappointment tinging my tone despite my best efforts, “You don’t have to go through this alone.”

“I already went through it, all alone. Nothing to do about it now. Yes, I want my revenge, but I’m not going to fucking get it.” She slapped her hoof on the pillow, causing the book to fall off the side of the bed. “So what point is there to talking about it?” She glared at me expectantly.

I opened my mouth to speak, but quickly changed my mind. I didn’t know what to say. She was obviously bottling things up, but what could I do if she didn’t even want to talk about it? It was probably for the best to just quietly remain by her side until she was ready.

I looked away, unable to hold her gaze. However, she wasn’t going to let me get away with it. “Well, what is it? If you have something to say, say it.”

What was it, did she want to talk to me or not? I let an exasperated sigh slip before looking at her. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea to bottle this up. It can’t be the right way to handle this.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, because you know how to handle things that happened to me.”

“Maybe not, but that’s why I’m asking!” The second after I said it, I regretted my sharp tone.

“Well, don’t! You’re just wasting my fucking time!”

This close, the shout hurt my ears, and I got off the bed. I couldn’t stop myself from screaming back, “Well, alright then! I won’t! But you don’t need to be so fucking bitchy about it when I’m just trying to help!”

The fury in her eyes scared me, and right as she was about to reply, she instead sighed. “Fine, if only so that you’ll leave me the fuck alone.” I could swear I saw a single tear in her eyes as she looked away. “Just tell me where to fucking start,” she muttered.

“Like I said, I don't know the full picture, only what Grace told me. Something about a pegasus screwing you over?” I took a few steps forward, then gently wrapped my front leg around her withers. I leaned into her neck, and she reluctantly reciprocated the gesture.

After a few moments, Iron broke the embrace and met my gaze. “His name is Airdrop. I think I told you about him already, because he was the one who told me about Candy’s corpse.” She gulped. “Or so I thought. Apparently Candy’s alive, and that creep’s been lying to her this entire fucking time.” With every word, her tone got more and more heated.

“Shit, I get why you’d be so pissed.” I slowly nodded.

She also stood up from the bed. “Yeah, that would already be bad enough.” She’d been relatively calm until now, but she then she suddenly shouted, “The fucker wasn’t just content with ruining my life once! He. Just. Had. To. Do. It. Twice.” Every word was punctuated with both of her front hooves slamming down on the concrete with more strength than I would have deemed possible from her thin frame.

“What else did he do?” I asked, careful to keep my tone neutral.

Eyes watery, she met my gaze. “Sold my friends and I out into fucking slavery, that’s what!” That was the drop that broke the dam, and she fell to the ground, sobbing.

My heart sank, and my blood boiled. “What a piece of shit…” I muttered, grinding my teeth. Suddenly, I very much wanted Iron to hurt him. “I rarely wish pain upon anypony, but damn if I don’t want to see him suffer now.”

Iron hesitated for a moment, momentarily calming down. “Well, I don’t know for certain. It’s just that Grace’s story has way too much in common with mine, and it just makes sense.”

“When I find him…” Now that she was no longer crying, I could hear anger burn glacially in her voice. “I’m going to cut off both his wings, shatter all four of his legs, then throw him into a swamp full of leeches.” She huffed before slamming the concrete with her hoof. “Or maybe I should slice him apart and hang him with his own fucking guts.”

While that was more than I liked to imagine, I didn’t have the courage to tell her off as she went off on a short tangent. Only, to my surprise, her anger petered out by the end, and she started crying again. “Only I’ve already lost.” She sniffled. “And making him lose as well won’t make me win…”

“Iron, listen to me.” I put my hoof underneath her chin and made her look at me. This time, she didn’t resist. She looked scared, but with an oh so distant light of hope in her eyes. “You haven’t lost. Yes, he’s stolen years of your life, but you’re still young. I’m still young. And we’re both going to be free tomorrow. With a bit of effort, you can still live a decent life. I can’t promise I’ll always be there, but right now I really fucking want to.”

Iron broke down again, but after a few sobs, I couldn't tell if she was laughing or crying anymore. A few moments more later, she was definitely laughing, but there was no mirth in her voice. She was bitter.

“What’s… so funny?” I dared ask.

“That you think I have a shot at the future,” she spat with contempt.

“Of course you do!” I stomped my hoof on the floor. “If you don’t know what to do, I can help you figure it out. If you’re scared of being alone, we can even be together. If you don’t want your friends to find out what you did, we can run away!” I was spouting ideas, not really putting any thought into any one in particular. “If you’re worried about your past catching up to you, there’s ways you can—”

Iron rose to her hooves. “And what do I do about the hivemind of alicorns that wants to make me one of them?” Iron cut me off in a venomous tone, leaving me confused and hurt in equal parts.

Before I could ask what she meant by that, she continued, “But you wouldn’t know about that, because I didn’t want to admit that in a month, a year, two years, I’ll be a fucking monster with no will of my own.” She scoffed. “So keep your precious future to yourself.”

Oh. That made all too much sense, given what she’d told me. I was probably missing some details, but she was clearly exaggerating.

I stared up at her. I could tell she was trying to intimidate me through her stature, but I wouldn’t let her. I wouldn’t let her go, not anymore. “You can’t just give up, though! Maybe there’s something you don’t know. Maybe there’s a fix you just haven’t thought about yet. Come on, Iron!”

“You haven’t seen them. You don’t know how terrifying they are. So keep your fucking optimism to yourself, or I’ll make you.” She tried to sound furious, but I heard the waver in her voice.

“Please, Iron. At least try. If not for yourself, then for me. You’re the closest friend I’ve ever had, and I don’t want to lose you without doing anything.” Now I was crying too. I hadn’t realised just how much she’d grown to mean to me until now. Hearing her talk about letting herself get taken shattered my heart.

That seemed to take her aback for a moment, and for a moment I believed everything would be fine. Then, her glare grew harder, “And now things are about you and how you feel? Ignore the mare who was put on a fast track to becoming a mindless monster, the mare who was brainwashed as a filly and forced into a life of misery and abuse, the mare who was raped until she liked it. Ignore that mare because you think your opinion is more important.”

“That’s not what I—”

I didn’t get to finish my sentence, as her hoof impacted on my cheek, knocking me onto my side. It took a few moments to register what happened before tears started flowing again.

I’d been beaten so much harder than this, so why was this one minor blow enough to make me cry? And yet it hurt so badly.

One look at her was all that it took to make her go from fury, to hesitation, to realisation, to horror. She opened her mouth, but I was already out the door before she got to say anything.

I awoke to the faint electronic hum of dozens of distant machines and the whoosh of air from a ventilation shaft further away. My pillow was uncomfortably damp. I'd cried myself to sleep again, hadn't I?

However, something was strange. My body didn't hurt at all. Or at least not as intently as it should have. Did Father go easy on me last night? Maybe I was just lying in a good enough position and simply didn't feel anything right now. I tried to recall where he'd hit me, but it all seemed so distant; like it had all happened years ago.

But wait, it had. And as I woke up further, I started to remember. Life outside the stable. The thrill of taking a life. Star Seeds. And finally, Cherry.

A wave of ice washed over my body, and my stomach sank. No, it couldn't be. It was just a bad dream. I got to my hooves and trotted out of my room and towards my parents'.

Inside, I saw him lying on my mother's bed. The covers only draped over the lower part of his body, while the pillow still had a visible wet stain. A large, angry bruise had formed on his cheek.

I felt my jaw starting to quiver and my eyes water. I wanted nothing more than to hold him and tell him everything would be alright. To swear to protect him from whatever had hurt him. But I couldn't. I'd done this to him.

I'd promised to keep him safe and buy him liberty. I'd daydreamed so many times about holding him close and kissing him. Every time I pushed the thought away, it eventually came back. We were supposed to look for his family. We were supposed to find a way to redeem me. How could I not fall for a buck when we had this kind of future ahead of us?

I could have made an effort. I could have negotiated with Unity. I could have mounted an army to fight it. I could have tried.

All I would have needed to do was let myself hope, but I was too blind to even do that. Even if it turned out for naught, it would have been better than this. It would have been better than losing everything.

I barely held in a sob.

I wanted to stop existing. I wanted to never have been born. I left the room and slowly trotted over to my saddlebags. It only took a few moments to find what I was looking for.

After placing the healing potion on the nightstand next to him, I gave in to the presence at the back of my mind, letting Sonata take over. I didn't want to be myself. I wanted to never be myself again.

Footnote:

New Perk: Destined for Greatness — You’ve once again set hoof on the path to excellence. +1 Luck.

Author's Note

Early chapter this week because I got impatient.