Salvation | Rebirth

Having lost count of how many laps Wild had galloped trying to forget the unfortunate incident, he only realized how much time had passed when his stomach growled in protest. He practically dragged himself to the cafeteria, ate everything he could and then extra, and finally went to his dorm. He softly closed the door behind him and went straight to the bathroom, feeling sticky from all the sweat on his body. He turned on the shower, lowered the temperature, and stepped into the bathtub. He sighed shakily and shivered as cool water cascaded down on him, washing all the dirt and the sweat away along with his thoughts. There was the pleasant noise of the rushing water, the feeling of it streaming down his body, and he didn't want to leave. Despite how his legs buzzed with tiredness, how his head felt heavy, and his lungs felt slightly raw, he stood in the shower for a solid half an hour before finally turning it off and picking up a towel to dry himself off.

Wild looked in the mirror and saw a tired young unicorn before himself. He knew it was himself, but now nothing remained from his past life but the memories and the scars. Oh how he wished he could simply get rid of all of them, to erase the scars and remove the memories. Perhaps he would be a happy young stallion, growing up among others into functioning and happy adults. Just another colorful spot among many. However, it was not to be, and he knew it. What was done to him and what he had done could not be erased as easily as dirt could be washed off his body.

The former human stumbled to his bedroom and flopped onto his bed. Sleep took him the very moment his head hit the pillow.

The moon rose high above the land as Wild slept quietly. The soothing pale light washed over him, loosening the tension in his body, easing his mind. The night wind blew softly, offering its fresh air to him. But the stars... they were different. From outside the window, they watched him with a predatory gaze. They shone brightly as spots in the sky, but their light was cold and distant. A cold gust of wind blew into the room, making the young unicorn shiver. Through the opening, a barely visible trail of dark-blue smoke seeped through. It dripped from the wall, forming a puddle on the floor, and then slithered across it to the sleeping pony. It rose and latched onto his bed, slowly pulling itself up and on top of it. The young unicorn frowned and turned on his other side. The dark tendrils entered his mind, and a dream came.

A dark forest surrounded him, a smell of decay and rot penetrating the stale air around the twisted trees and withered grass. A gray mist lay motionless below, unmoving without the wind. The air was silent and cold, yet there was neither snow nor rain. The clouds were gray, forming one huge mass blotting out the sky, making the sun look vague, blurry, and dim. Skeletons of various creatures hid among the dried brown and black leaves on the forest floor, dully glistening under the sharp sunlight. A human, pale and naked, stood among the death, clutching a backpack in his thin arms. His breath was slow, yet loud. A tremble went through his body as his ears picked up sounds that weren't there. Far from him, the sound of a fire could now be heard as it consumed whatever was burning. Dark smoke rose behind him, filling the skies with blackness.

He knew he needed to move, he knew he needed to run, and he knew he couldn't afford to lose the backpack. And so he moved forward, leaves and bones alike crunching under his feet. The cracks were loud, making him shudder with every step, making him feel like someone was beginning to notice him. He picked up the pace, knowing he must not go back.

A deep sound resonated throughout the dead forest - he was noticed. The dark smoke swirled and flowed in a non-existent wind, outstretching its black tendrils towards him, wanting nothing more than to capture him and drag him back.
His very being belonged to it, his very soul couldn't escape from it. The resistance was futile.

Yet he continued on, breathing frantically as he stumbled on the roots, trying his best to move as quickly as possible, the grip on his backpack like vice. There lay the instrument of his salvation if he could only reach the right place. It was there in front of him behind the trees, ever-distant and ever-present, making him promises he desperately wished to be true. But with every step he took, those promises seemed to never become any closer, remaining just beyond his reach. He ignored the pain, ignored the cold, knowing that his only chance was there in front of him if he could only reach it. If he got there, it wouldn't matter anymore, and he would escape.

Tendrils of darkness suddenly grabbed him by the ankles, yanking him with tremendous force, making him smack his head against the ground, disorienting him. He opened his mouth in a silent scream, seeing his goal right in front of him. He pierced the ground with his fingers, holding on for dear life, trying to drag himself forward even when he felt the tendrils vigorously shake him like a wolf would do to its prey. He screamed loudly now, frantically pulling himself forward, yet it was all in vain. With one final tug, his fingers let go of the ground, and he was dragged back into darkness.

Wild's eyes opened. He was in his room - it was deep in the night, and only the moon provided light through his windows. The young unicorn was lying on his back as his eyes darted around his room. A shadow was standing near the doorway. He tried to move, but was startled when he couldn't. Only his eyes obeyed, but the rest of his body remained still.

"There you are," the shadow said in English, in a voice Wild painfully remembered. Panic-stricken, he desperately wished to move or even just activate his magic, but he couldn't. The menacing shadow slowly morphed into a vague human figure with piercing hazel eyes, the eyes Wild knew and hated and feared with all his soul. Unable to move, he was forced to watch as the figure casually walked up to his bed.

"I remember you, little bitch," it hissed, getting on top of Wild's chest and sitting down on it, "It's time for you to fucking die."

His hands reached out and wrapped around Wild's throat, who was still unable to move. Panic completely overtook him as he couldn't breathe, and nothing he could think of worked. His body remained still, motionless save for his horrified, tear-filled eyes.

"Can't move, huh?" the shape gloated at him, strengthening its grip around his neck, squeezing ever harder, "Struggling to breathe there?"

Wild's vision darkened, and he realized it may be his end, and this time it would be long and painful. There would be no third chance - it was time to pay for all he had done to others whether they deserved it or not. He would be dragged down to them, and there would be nothing but agony and infinite regret. All he had done would be laid bare in front of him, and he would have to answer to it all. Even if he could justify what he did and why, did it matter? He would only become as bad as them. His lungs burned, begging for air, yet he couldn't even open his mouth, let alone kick off the one who had caused him so much pain.

"Begone," a different, female, voice spoke, and the shape simply vanished from sight. In the doorway, an alicorn was standing, "Wake up."

With a raspy inhale, Wild jumped in his bed and rolled off, hitting the floor painfully as he fell. Panicked still, he got on his hooves, discharging a bolt of magic at the alicorn, hitting her and sending her flying back through the doorway. Then the former human fully opened the window and jumped out, a yell following him. The fall seemed to last forever, but he hit the ground not feeling anything but pure terror. He got up and galloped, breathing heard, his heart threatening to jump out of his chest. He didn't see where he was going, yet he galloped with all the energy he had, feeling his muscles and chest burn in protest. He stumbled once, losing momentum, but quickly recovered and built his speed back up.

Exhaustion kicked in when he was nearly at the gates of the orphanage, and he rolled on the ground, bruising his body further. He inhaled sharply and then coughed heavily and painfully as he chocked on his own saliva. Tears welled up in his eyes, making his surroundings blurry, and he coughed on and on until he couldn't anymore. Then he lay there on the ground, breathing shakily, crying. He wanted nothing more but to wake up and realize it was all a dream soon to be forgotten. He wanted to wake up and see that he was never a human, merely a pony who had a nightmare. Yet he knew it was in vain, for he was still himself, and it didn't matter what his wishes were.

"Wild?" a voice came to him, making him raise his head. He blinked his eyes, getting the tears out of the way, and finally saw Princess Luna walking to him.

A choked sob escaped his maw as he let his head back down on the ground. In this moment, he wanted to tell her how he felt, how hurt he was, and how much he just wanted to be normal, to be like those around him. Yet no words came out of his mouth no matter how many times he opened it, and only sobs followed. He didn't care what would happen to him afterwards, he just needed to let it all out, even if it meant his death. But he couldn't. No matter how hard he tried to speak, he couldn't utter a single syllable.

He slowly rose up from the ground, tears streaming down his dirty face. The pain now came - his entire body was a big bruise, emanating a dull ache. He subconsciously noted that he managed to not break any of his bones when he jumped out, but it still hurt. He raised his head again and looked at the alicorn, believing he looked pathetic and would earn nothing but disregard or irritation from her.

"It was just a nightmare," she said softly, taking an uncertain step forward.

At first, Wild immediately growled at her, but then his body shook as more tears rolled down his face and dripped on the ground, his growl dying into a sob. She didn't want to hurt him, he knew. She simply wanted to help him. There was no threat in her eyes, there was no gloating or taunting. She stood there for him.

He raised his hoof to step forward, but didn't. He trembled and shivered, fighting against himself. Luna didn't know what to say as she watched him slowly and painfully making the first step. Then another came, easier just a little bit. He stopped, still breathing heavily.

He couldn't do it. Maybe she cared about him, but he didn't deserve it, he hadn't earned her kindness and never would. What he had experienced, all this pain he felt, that was what he deserved. He simply needed to endure it until he was strong enough to overcome it by himself. What he felt was his to bear, he could never push this burden onto others.

Even if Luna cared, he didn't trust her. She had just helped him, he knew, yet he couldn't trust her even if he wanted to. She didn't know him, he didn't know her - there wasn't a reason for her to help him. And if he let her, undoubtedly she would later use it against him. She would know his weaknesses, and she would know how to exploit them. She would know who and what he was, and she would be repulsed. Even if she cared, she wouldn't after she learned about him, he was sure.

And this was precisely the treatment he deserved.

Wild turned away from the alicorn and made his way past her, limping slightly as his legs ached in pain.

"Wild," Luna called him, making him stop and turn his head to her, "I will protect you from the nightmares," she promised, visualizing it with pictures as she did.

He understood her message but offered no reply. He shuffled on his hooves and continued on his way back, his head hung low.

He deserved this pain.