Salvation | Rebirth
Chapter 78: Disagreement
Previous ChapterNext ChapterLuna nearly raced to Wild when she received a message that he wanted to see her and talk about something important. She feared the Alicorn Amulet was acting odd and something was going to happen, unlikely as it was - or so she hoped - but if it did happen...
She knew the Alicorn Amulet was highly dangerous, and there was always a possibility that, as damaged as it now was, it could remain just as dangerous as before if not more so, that it would possibly take Wild away, twist him until he barely resembled himself. It would not be the first time. Trying to trick him into giving it up afterwards would not work - if he was convinced of whatever the Amulet forced on him, he would never take it off, and there would only be one solution, a solution Luna did not wish to employ, ever.
The very image of her sword striking his head off his neck sent shivers down her spine and made her feel nauseous. She should have been there when Trixie, in her absolute foolishness, showed up among innocents wearing that thing. The hunt for the Alicorn Amulet should have been funded more, and whatever trails it had should have been followed through and thoroughly. However, it was believed at the time that not publicizing about the existence of the Alicorn Amulet prevented it from falling within the grasp of the worst people who could want it. Whether it worked or not, Luna could not judge with any degree of certainty.
Thankfully, her fears were alleviated when Wild opened the door to his temporary residence at the Canterlot Castle, still entirely himself as far as Luna could tell. His eyes did not shine red with malice and cruelty, and the Alicorn Amulet showed no signs of being anything more than a damaged artifact now acting as barely anything more than a reservoir of magic slowly draining into Wild.
She had grown concerned when Wild voiced a proposition, yet it was for an entirely different reason. When she had heard him out, she was left... she wasn’t even certain what exactly she was feeling at the moment. There was certainly worry, of course, but it was not the time to analyze what she felt.
She had learned of Celestia’s visit to Wild, which she did not know about before it happened, and that was something Celestia should have brought up with her. However, that ship had sailed, and she was left with the consequences. Thankfully, it hadn't ended up in disaster, and so she was grateful for it.
With Celestia’s promise to do anything to make it up to Wild - or, at least, that was what Wild said she had promised - he came up with a worrying idea concerning humans.
Luna’s investigation into a possible existence of a portal between Wild’s birth world and this world had been going on for a while now, yet the Everfree Forest had proven to be troublesome and uncooperative to the efforts to discover the said portal. There were many nooks and crannies where something of that sort could be hidden, and nothing less than a thorough search where not a square millimeter of the forest left unchecked would do.
What to do with that possible portal or the connection between words in general was yet to be decided, and Celestia still didn’t know the truth about the investigation. Perhaps soon Luna would bring her into confidence despite Wild's request for utmost secrecy. As much as she emphasized with the young stallion, she could not do as he wished all the time.
Ever since she saw Wild’s dream of what humans could do, after she heard his own words about his own species, she was doing her best to find a way to approach this topic from the right angle and thus solve it. It was very rare when someone hated not just themselves but their own people, which was, from a certain point of view, fortunate. On the other, however, it meant that there weren’t many resources to advise Luna on how to proceed about it. Truth be told, she had been putting it off. Anxiety whispered to her, and fear prevented her from acting in case what she did would only make things worse. However, it appeared that she could not put it off any further, and now was the time to speak her mind, before Wild tried something he would regret, yet it would be nothing from which one could return.
Luna was very aware that Wild was growing in power. That brought may worries to the forefront, the major of which was - how would he use that power? If he understood his existing limitations and could work within them, if he realized how much power he possessed and what was possible should he but learn to apply it... what would then follow would change everything forever.
“My sister would never agree to this,” Luna said, and she saw Wild’s spirits fall as he visibly slumped. That was not it, however, and so she spoke the next damning words, “And neither would I.”
Wild was startled, his eyes wide and his ears down as he stared at her in plain disbelief. A part of Luna urged her to walk back on her words, yet her consciousness urged her to go further still.
“You are saying humans are dangerous,” Luna spoke calmly, her tone lacking antagonism or anger, “And I see you want to protect your new home. I can understand that desire, truly.”
“Humans are dangerous,” Wild insisted, “We are... we are vile and we do bad things to each other all the time. What... what was done to me isn’t the worst.”
“And you will deem the entirety of humanity evil for the actions of a few?”
“There are not few,” he nearly snarled as he said those words, “There are many, and I told you about it!”
“You have,” Luna nodded, not letting his anger get to her, “And I have told you that we will prepare for the possibility of them being hostile to us.”
“Inevitability,” he corrected.
“No,” Luna told him, looking him in the eyes, and that seemed to surprise him and make him wilt at the same time, “Not inevitability. Minotaurs, oftentimes, are viewed as violent and aggressive, especially by those who had never interacted with them. Yet Equestria has a relationship with them, and minotaurs live among us ponies, causing no more trouble than we cause between ourselves. Should we have barred them from our lands, rejected all their words, just because harm was done to us in the past and sometimes happens today? Would it be right for us ponies to condemn them all?”
“If it is safer, yes,” Wild nodded.
“Wild,” she said seriously, “Do you realize that you are judging everyone for the actions of a few? Do you realize that this is the prejudice that you are holding? We ponies have wronged others in the past as well. Should all of us be judged for it?”
Wild shook his head, no longer looking at her.
“The very harm you went through, some ponies have inflicted on others,” Luna continued, and Wild flinched, shaking his head, “This is, unfortunately, true. Many would want to pretend that we have always been like we are now, like we are seen by the world. Dangerous if provoked, but otherwise peaceful and soft, kind and generous. However, that had not been the case in the past. Cassius the Cruel, the fourth King of Equestria, was known for numerous rapes he had committed while in power before a violent rebellion overthrew him, the chaos of which eventually caused Discord to appear. Empress Quicksilver of the Crystal Empire had started the genocide of the donkeys, the consequences of which are felt to this very day. And these two figures did not act alone, I assure you. There were many who knew what they did and had not a single issue with it.”
Wild continued shaking his head, his ears pressed against his head, his eyes shut, trying to deny what he was hearing, trying to avoid the harsh truth.
“Blood, sweat, and tears made Equestria what it is today, and I mean it both literally and figuratively,” Luna said, “We carry the consequences of all actions, good or bad, and we do not forget our past. We do not shy away from the atrocities our ancestors committed. However, what they have done does not make us evil. Just like we cannot be judged by the actions not committed by us, all humans cannot be judged for what those who hurt you and hurt others have done.”
“I thought you are on my side!” Wild blurted, tears welling up in his eyes, “I thought you understood! I thought you saw!”
“Do you want me to never question you?” Luna asked him, looking him in the eyes, unflinching and steady, “Do you want me to never go against your words? Do you want me to always follow you no matter what?”
Wild was silent, now staring at the floor, saying nothing at all.
“I want to help you, I am willing to help you, but you cannot ask unquestioning loyalty of me,” Luna told him, her voice soft but uncompromising, “I see the hate inside you, and it will eat you alive if you do not deal with it. It is true that you cannot help what you feel, but you must understand why you feel the way that you do, and you must find what you will do about that hate.”
Luna let Wild process that for a moment, watching him. It was clear he remained unconvinced, but he was unwilling to voice his disagreement with her. Luna quietly took a deep, steady breath, letting the frustration wash over and away from her. As much as Wild hated his own former species, he was not yet lost to that hatred, had not stepped over a line from which there would be no return. However, it was clear he held no love for his own kind, and this could easily turn into a disaster. She needed to turn him away from that path of bitterness lest he suffered a fate not dissimilar to hers.
“Tell me, if you could destroy humans, every last one of them, would you do so?” she asked him.
Silence was her answer. It was not an immediate, passionate no. Yet, thankfully, it was not a yes either. She could work with it, and she would drag Wild out of that pit of hatred and loathing.
“Tell me something good about a human,” Luna said, “Any human. Does anyone come to mind at all?”
With hesitation, Wild nodded. That was, at least, a good sign. She would be far more concerned if the answer was no.
“Who is it?” she asked gently.
“My parents,” Wild replied, his voice raspy, “They did what they could for me,” he sniffed, “They were good.”
“Tell me, what did they do that makes you think of them as good?”
“They took care of me,” he said. After a moment, he added, “But parents are supposed to do that.”
She could see exactly what he meant by that.
“Not all,” Luna replied, “Parents should take care of their children, that is true, as such is their duty. However, this duty is not binding no matter if the law demands it or not. Blood ties, as important as many believe they are, in truth, are not any stronger than ties of friendship. There had been many parents who did not love their children, and to this day there are plenty who, for one reason or another, do not care for who they brought into this world. The existence of the Royal Orphanage proves it, does it not?”
Wild could do nothing but nod, unable to deny the obvious.
“So, here you are, there are good humans,” Luna told him, “And they were good not because of duty and obligation. They were not good because it was demanded of them - they were good because they loved you, and their love was genuine. Can you honestly say that there was some sort of an ulterior motive to their care?”
Wild shook his head.
“So, do you think that there is no one else among humans that care about someone just like your parents care about you? Do you truly believe no one but your parents is capable of the love that they had for you and for each other?”
Wild was unable to deny the obvious answer to that, yet he remained silent.
“Did you ever wish for someone to come and help you and your family?”
“It is dangerous to connect to human world,” Wild said.
“Wild, I am sorry, but this was not what I asked.”
More silence reigned, uncomfortable from Wild’s end. He could not deny that he had asked for help, silent as his prayers were, useless as they had turned out to be, but if someone turned up, if someone helped him, if someone helped his family while they were struggling... he would have had a different life. A part of him knew he would have had a much better life. If he could travel to the past with the power he possessed now, to see his younger self from the outside, to see his family once again... he would not have stood by, would not have events occur as they had for him. As much as he, to this day, loathed himself sometimes - or more than sometimes - he would not wish for his younger self, as unlikable as he had been back then, to experience the harm he had gone through.
“That is why we cannot shut the connection between the world you came from and ours,” Luna said, “There are people on the other side that we could help. People like you, who have been greatly harmed. And people unlike you as well, people whom we can help avoid experiencing what you have. Would you deny them that?”
“...No,” he finally replied.
“I understand that you are afraid,” Luna told him, “You are scared that those you care about will face the same fate that you have, experience the same hurts that you have experienced. I understand that. Should you wish for it, you will never be asked to do anything at all with humanity ever again. However, I cannot abandon those I can help, and my sister would not stand behind it either. We will listen to you, but we will not obey you. Your experience is, without a doubt, helpful towards understanding humanity, but we cannot rely on you alone.
“If you want to tell my sister of your past, I will stand by you. If you wish to help us navigate the complexities of humanity when we, I believe, inevitably make contact, I will stand by you. If you want to have nothing to do with humanity ever again, I will stand by you. But to prevent others like you from appearing in our world seeking help, to close that connection to everyone for all time? That, I cannot and will not do.”
Wild nodded in defeat, accepting her reasoning and her words if not adopting them for himself.
“I know it must be difficult for you,” Luna said, “May I give you a hug?”
Wild nodded, and then the two hugged.
“Hate is not something that is easy to deal with,” she told him quietly, “I know it eats away at you from the inside. However, that does not mean you have to deal with it alone. Will you allow me to help you see through it?”
“...I can try,” Wild settled on saying, “I... I don’t think I will like, um, humans.”
“I cannot make you do that even if I wanted to,” Luna told him, “But are you willing to try to see them as more than people out to hurt you and everything and everyone you care about?”
“...Yes.”
“That’s all I ask, Wild,” she told him, “Now, think about it, okay? Write down your thoughts too, this will help, even if it doesn’t feel like it will.”
After some time, the two let go of each other, and Luna headed out.
“Remember, Wild,” she told him as she prepared to leave, “While I cannot agree with you at everything, this does not mean I do not wish to help you. When I leave, you may feel shame for arguing, and you may fear that I will abandon you because you will perceive yourself as being difficult. I assure you I will not abandon you, certainly not for something as small as an argument. Know that I care about you and I wish you to live your best life, and I will do my best to make sure it happens. Do not be afraid to voice your doubts or your disagreements, and we will discuss them and, hopefully, come to a satisfying conclusion.”
Luna was right - once she left, he was ashamed of nearly shouting at her in anger, of feeling like she was going against him when she didn’t immediately agree with him, and...
Then he was angry. No, he wasn't angry, he realized, but he wanted to be angry. He wanted to have a target, even if it was Luna. He wanted to be angry at her for disagreeing, for not backing his every word, for going against him when it mattered most, and yet...
He was grateful. Luna heard him out, gave him a fair chance to say his words, and then she told him her own thoughts on the matter, plainly and honestly, not hiding the truth for him for the sake of not upsetting him. Perhaps that was, indeed, what he needed to hear, even if it was not what he, on the surface, wanted.
He felt so, so tired already, and the day was far from over. He ended up lying in the bathtub too big to be called one, listening to the sound of rushing water as it was filled, and doing his best to sort through the mess that his thoughts were.
Wild, once again, thought how simpler his life would have been if he were born a pony and never knew Earth and humanity. That ancient terrible history of ponies that Luna had told him of would be just that, a history, distant and impersonal and, in some ways, even unimportant. However, that was not to be, and so he was left with what was, not with what he wished for.
Author's Note
Wild definitely needed to hear that misanthropy is cringe and not a good way to approach life.
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