“Your form is a bit off, try locking your elbows and putting your body weight into it.” Chief Calcaneus suggested.

“Yeah, Diamond. Use your weight while you have it.” Scootaloo informed.

Diamond took a moment to catch her breath, chest compressions are hard work. Ok, good. She started up compressions on the training dummy once again. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18-19-20-21-22-23-24-25-26-27-28-29-30. Ok, two breaths. Ok, back at it again. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18-19-20-21-22-23-24-25-26-27-28-29-30. Ok, two more breaths. And go. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18-19-20-21-22-23-24-25-26-27-28-29-30. Ok..ok...two more breaths. Now…

“I can’t do any more. I’m done.” Diamond admitted.

Scootaloo was having none of this.

“No. come one, Diamond. I know you have one more set in you. 30 more compressions, two more breaths, then you can take a break.”

Diamond was panting, her wrists felt tense. No way.

“Look. I just can’t, ok?”

Scootaloo was still having none of this.

“Come on! I believe in you Diamond! I’ll tell you what. You do 15 compressions, I’ll do 15, you do two breaths, then do another 15 compressions, then I’ll finish up with 15. Sound good?”

Diamond laughed a bit to herself.

“I can tell you're not gonna drop it till I say I will. So fuck it, let’s go.”

Scooty gave a big goofy clown grin. They both go in their respective positions on opposite sides of the dummy. Ok. Diamond started chest compressions. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15. She backed up and Scoots took over. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15. Scoots backed up and Diamond gave two weak breaths.

“Yeah, Diamond. Keep going!” Scootaloo cheered.

Now, reinvigorated by the encouragement, Diamond started more chest compressions. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15. Scootaloo was ready to jump in but Diamond didn’t stop. 16-17-18-19-20-21-22-23-24-25-26-27-28-29-30. With that, Diamond slumped over the dummy.

“Good shit!” Scootaloo yelled.

Chief Calcaneus clapped.

“Good shit indeed. Talk amongst yourselves for a moment, I need to go do something.”

With that Chief Calcaneus left the room.

“Wonder where he’s going?” Diamond wondered, resting her elbows on the dummy’s sternum.

“I’ll bet he’s going to the bathroom to beat off. That display of passion at the end must’ve made him horny. You were all like ‘I will save you 25 year old CPR dummy!’”

“Don’t make fun of me, I was in the goddamn zone. I could’ve done another three sets!” Diamond claimed.

Scootaloo wasn’t convinced.

“Pshh like hell you could.”

Diamond let out a heavy breath.

“I guess you’re not wrong. I can’t believe how tired those chest compressions made me, though.” Diamond complained.

Scootaloo shrugged her shoulders.

“We still have a long way to go before you could do 120 compressions without breaking a sweat. Ya know, like me.” She said, striking a pose with one hand on her hip and one at her chest.

“Showboat.”

“Yeah, ease off that, Scootaloo.” Chief Calcaneus stated, walking back into the room from his break. “Nopony finds that attractive.”

“I do!” Diamond blurted out, now with an awkward smile plastered on her face.

Scootaloo sighed.

“I guess that makes a lot of sense. You did spend more time asking me about my athletic achievements than actually working out this past weekend.” Scoots was now rubbing her chin.

Diamond, now desperate to change the subject, wracked her brain for a topic.

“Oh, uh. Chief Calcaneus, you were gonna tell us about insurance and paying for ambulances and all that, right?” Diamond pleaded.

“I guess I could do that.” Caduceus said, giving Diamond a knowing glance. He made his way over to the table and took a load off. “So this is best described as follows. When we pick somepony up and transport them to the hospital, giving them care and whatnot, that costs 80 or so bits, normally. Now, take 10 patients as an example. To break even, if we transport all ten, we must receive 800 bits. Out of those 10 patients, 6 have no insurance and simply won’t pay us. And before you ask, no. We can’t make them pay us. We can send them letters that say ‘please give us our money’ but that’s about it. We get no help from the government for that. So the other 4 have insurance, but three have shit insurance, so we receive only about 10% of what we charge by the end. Now the last guy has really good insurance, so we get the full amount charged in their case. If we charged 80 bits for an ambulance ride, we would only receive roughly 132 bits, putting us 668 bits in the hole. Now, we don’t charge 80 bits for an ambulance ride, to make up for costs we have to charge 500 bits. So with the same situation of the same 10 patients, we would receive 700 bits, putting us a mere 100 bits in the hole. We must charge 500 bits for the ride and care, because the guy who pays it is paying for the previous two and next two patients.”

“That is such fucking bullshit! The government just doesn’t fucking care, do they?!” Scootaloo and Diamond said at once. They stood staring straight ahead. Did that just happen? They turned to each other and their eyes met. A mutual fire was felt.

“You two feel it, don’t you?” Chief Calcaneus inquired. “I feel it, too.” He tapped the table a few times. “Guess that means I’m done here, huh? Like clockwork, just as I thought it would go. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

Scootaloo stood up.

“What do you mea-” She didn’t get to finish that thought, as her mind became more interested in watching her teacher go rigid and fall out of his chair.

“Oh shit oh shit oh shit.” That was all Diamond had to offer.

“Diamond, go get help!” Scootaloo commanded.

Diamond was just locked up. She couldn’t move. Scootaloo, noticing her lack of action, grabbed Diamond and forced her to her feet.

“Diamond! Go. Get. Help.” Scootaloo yelled, shaking the filly.

She just screwed her eyes shut as tears began to run.

“Scootaloo. I’m scared.” Diamond whined.

Scootaloo felt her heart bend. She had never seen Diamond so vulnerable.

“Look,” she said, gently rubbing Diamond’s shoulder, “I get that you’re scared, but Calcaneus needs us right now.”

Diamond opened her eyes and nodded.

“Ok, I’ll go get help.” she whispered, turning to the door, intent on running through it, but was stopped by what, or rather who, was standing in the doorway.

“Ya, know. If this was a real emergency, and some guy just went unresponsive and fell out of his chair. Well, he most likely would have died due to your inaction.” The black stallion informed them.

“What do you mean ‘If’ this was a real emergency, Chief Calcaneus is right there.”She said pointing towards nothing. “What?”

“Sit down, fillies.” The white lover spoke. “There is much to discuss.”

There’s a mothertrucking time skip here.

“So, just to recap, in case you weren’t listening, Chief Calcaneus Plantar founded this ambulance association in 1987, when he was just 40 years old. He left his previous profession of podiatry, being a foot doctor, to seek out his passion, which was emergency medicine. Before the PCAA was founded, Ponyville didn’t have its own dedicated EMS responders. That was why he wanted to set up shop here, in a small town where nothing bad happens.” The black stallion conveyed.

“That all changed in the winter of ‘96.” The white lover continued. “It was a normal night, fresh snow on the ground, frigid temperatures. Cal was driving the ambulance to the hospital, a cardiac arrest patient loaded in the back, two of his EMT’s in the back doing their best to keep the blood pumping. He knew he didn’t have much time, so he drove faster than he was comfortable with. He took a turn too hard. Flipped the ambulance. The chief was the only survivor. He blamed himself. Wouldn’t you? Three people are dead, two of them being employees and good friends of yours. I couldn’t imagine it.”

“He didn’t last long after that. He was in a drunken stupor for 3 days before he put the shotgun in his mouth.” the black stallion went on. “That was the picture he showed you on your first day. The stallion with his face blown off. That was Chief Calcaneus. He wanted to show you what could happen in this profession, even if it was in hindsight. He wanted you to be aware of the worst case scenario.”

Diamond’s tears hadn't stopped since before. Neither had the gentle rubs from Scootaloo, which were now located at her back.

“So you’re saying we were being taught by a dead man. Why? How?”

The stallions shared a glance. The black one responded.

“The why, I can explain. He was tied to this place both emotionally and physically, this room is actually the room where he shot himself in.” He said, gesturing around the room. This just made Diamond cry harder. Scootaloo doubled her rubs and now slung an arm over her shoulder, whispering lightly in her ear. “Calcaneus had no one to love. He died feeling alone and unloved, but oh was he wrong. So many ponies looked up to him and wanted to help him, but just never reached out. Most ponies think he had been battling depression long before the accident, but nopony knows for certain.”

White lover spoke up now.

“That’s why he does what he does. Leading classes of two so they fall in love. Nopony that has gone through this program understands how it works, just that it’s how things are. Maybe it’s fate. Maybe it’s God.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe we all came into this class already with eyes for each other. But one pair claimed to have only met at class. Whatever. Like I said, nopony knows or ever will know. We’ve all just kind of accepted it as the norm. One thing we do know is that he seems to stop teaching once the student’s fall in love.”

A collective shiver went up the fillies’ spines. Could they really be in love?

“Cal came to us just a short while ago, said he felt it was almost time, and that we’d need to explain things to you.” the white lover went on. “That’s how it works. The last pair to go through the class must explain the plight of our chief, Dr. Calcaneus Plantar.” He let out a chuckle. “I hope you like the morning shift.”

This is too much. This is too fucking much.

“That’s a lot to take in.” Scootaloo let on simply.
“I’ll bet it is.” The stallions said in unison.

Diamond let out a whimper.

“Scootaloo, I want to go home.”

Scootaloo nodded solemnly.

“As you should. I’ll get you home.” Scootaloo declared.

“No,” Diamond responded, “I’ll just have my mom come pick me up. I need some time to process this.”

“Ok, Diamond, if that’s the way you want it. Make the call.” Scootaloo said, standing up.

Diamond took out her phone and haphazardly scrolled through her contacts. While she was occupied with that, Scootaloo walked around the room a bit. Just getting the blood pumping. Just keeping active. Just keeping sane.

“Hey, Scootaloo.” Diamond said from beside her.

Scootaloo jumped a bit.

“Yes?”

“My mom is coming. Do you want a ride home?” Diamond asked.

“Oh, nah. It’s all good. I’ll ride my scooter home, you know me. I’ll help clear my head.” Scootaloo replied.

“Ok. Well, here’s your bag. I packed it up for you.” Diamond informed, handing Scootaloo her backpack.

“Thanks, Diamond.”

With that they made their way out into the hall and eventually out of the PCAA. The noon sun shined down onto them, as if trying to lift their spirits. It didn’t have much of an affect. They stood in relative silence. It was a heavy silence that neither wanted to try and lift. Just when Scootaloo felt she was capable of breaking it, Diamond spoke.

“My mom’s here.”

“So she is.”
Feeling bold, Diamond threw her arms around Scootaloo and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“I'll see you tomorrow, Scooty.”

Scootaloo smiled a smug smile. \

“So you will.”

She stood by for a moment as Diamond climbed into the car with a rather confused Spoiled Rich. That’s pretty fucking funny. The car took off at a respectable speed. Time to go home. Scootaloo got her scooter all ready to go, all the while not taking her mind off Diamond. A couple of blocks away, Diamond was in the same boat, dreaming dreamy dreams about Scootaloo.

At the same time both spoke.

“I'm in love with her,

I wonder what’s for lunch?”

Author's Note

I did it. Epilogue coming soon.