Daniel's Dangerous Dynasty

Mina wants Ice Cream... and living in Hell, that's kinda impossible to achieve. So, she decides to invade Equestria, on an urgent conquest to quench her child's inner cravings.

"Hon. You know I love you, and I will forever trust your instincts. That's why I'm telling you now that it's a great idea! And now that that's off my chest, I would also like to point out... that it's a horrible idea!" Daniel said on the phone, as he paced back and forth in his bedroom.

Mina was having another one of her episodes, naturally, and her mood has been swinging a lot more frequently than usual. He supposed one month of pregnancy was enough to do that. And now, her request was not just outrageously random, but also beyond risky, due to the very, very fragile cease-fire alliance that Hell and Equestria were under, ever since she made a hostile takeover with it.

"Yes, hon, I'm serious! You know what would happen if we were to get caught! They'd send entire armies out to investigate, or they'd send more heroes... it wouldn't be safe for our child. All that stress on your body would be... yes. Yes, I know we're immortal, but is the baby? ... Oh, it is? Huh... okay, that's a little bit more reassuring."

...

"I know. But then there's another thing to think about. They'd send huge amounts of people after you. I, uh... kinda don't feel comfortable about you hurting them. I mean, they're just following orders, and protecting their families from what they think is a threat."

...

"Okay... you Pinkie Promise that you'll only try a peaceful approach?"

...

"Okay. Thank you, hon. Yes, I'll be right over. Uh... should I call Death, or..."

Before he could even finish his question, however, the wall to his closet quickly turned into its fleshy counterpart.

"Oh... alright, then. Just, uh... let me run to the kitchen and grab a knife, alright?" Daniel said.

He then smiled. "Love you too, hon. See you in a second."

With that, he hung up and hurried to the kitchen. From there, he grabbed a Kitchen Knife and brought it into his room.

"Right, then. Let's do this." he said, as he lifted his knife up and gulped. Truth be told, this would be the first time he's ever carved his way into a Flesh Door.

Mina stood there on the other side of the doorway, as she watched the small tip of the Kitchen Knife puncture the door.

Immediately, she heard her husband from the other side. "Ugh! Holy fucking shit, this is so... fucking... gross! H-how do you even stand this shit, hon?!"

She shrugged her shoulders and replied, "Eh, you get used to it as it becomes a habit. Now come on, put your back into it!" she ordered.

Then the knife slid back in on the other side, and punctured another part of the door.

"No! You've gotta cut it in a straight line down, and in a solid, fluid motion!" she said.

"Oops... sorry, hon."

"No, it's fine, just... well, cutting chunks out will cause some residue to leak, which can damage the door. So... not a huge loss, really, from my end, but you'd have to get a replacement, or deal with a few missing chunks in your closet!"

"I don't really use my closet anyways, so it's not a big deal here, either, hon!" he replied.

She smirked, nodding her head. "Alright, your loss. Wait, NO! You almost had it!" she shouted, as the knife made a quick tear to the side, causing a strand of flesh to lean downwards. The portal was still somewhat full of muscle, so shouldn't make out the other side clearly, as blood dripped down the door.

"Oh, fuck, I got some of this blood on my shirt!"

"Don't worry, it'll wash off when the portal closes! Now hurry the fuck up, I'm dying over here!" she shouted.

Daniel tried to turn the knife over and cut downwards a bit more, causing her to plant her face in her palm.

"You know what? Fuck it, stand back!" she shouted, before reaching her hand up and snapping her fingers. Her cleaver appeared from the void, and she lifted it up.

"Hold on, hon! I've almost-" he began, before she sliced the door open in one clean cut.

Daniel stood there on the other side, knife still in hand, and eyes open wide, as he just narrowly avoided getting cut in half by his pissed off wife.

"- got it..." he finished, before blushing and tossing his knife on the dresser. He then walked into Hell, and wrapped his arms around her. "Hey, hon!"

"Hey." she replied, pulling him in for a kiss. Then, when they broke the kiss, she frowned at him and placed her finger on his chest. "As King of Hell, you're going to really need to work on that, you know!"

"Yeah... sorry, I'm not really much on the Butchery Department." he admitted with a shrug.

She shook her head. "Well, we'll just have to fix that some other time. Now come on, we're going to be late!"

She was already dressed in her lingerie, and he was wearing his "#1 HUSBAND" shirt she made him, and his favorite pair of blue jeans, so they were both ready.

Then they both made their way out of the castle, with Daniel giving some of the demon and imp servants a friendly wave, which they responded to in kind.

Truth be told, the servants absolutely loved their king for his friendly nature towards them, despite their reputation for his kind. He was one of the few humans they wouldn't mind seeing again, for sure... especially since he keeps their queen in line from her usual angry behavior.

With Mina and Daniel in the back seat of Despair, they had a brief moment to catch up.

"So... how's life in Hell been treating you lately, hon?" Daniel asked.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Well... it's been getting boring as of late without you here... but eh, other than that, it's been shit. Like usual."

"Hmm... that bad, huh?" he inquired. "I'm sure once our little bundle of joy is out, things will get a lot more lively!" he said, hoping to cheer her up a bit, at least.

But she kept her stoic demeanor, and casually shrugged. "Eh... maybe, I don't know."

Then he hummed, trying to bring up more conversation pieces up... but Mina beat him to the punch.

"So, uh... how was your day, dear?" she asked, looking coolly at him from the corner of her eyes.

He leaned against his door. "It's been... pretty good, actually! I've managed to make some more websites for my clients, and they've been paying me well as a result! I'm... thinking of buying another house, actually."

"Oh?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "That's... that's good, actually. I'm happy for you." she said.

He nodded his head. "Thanks, hon... and you know something... I was thinking of buying a home in the country. A place with big, open fields, and barely anyone in sight from all around."

"Huh... how come?" she asked. This actually piqued her interest. She remembered when she was killing for fun, she had plenty of bases in country areas, so she could relate for its privacy functions. Being far from civilization, her victims' screams were easily muffled and fell on deaf ears in the off-chances that they could even uncover their mouths. After all, it was pretty hard to pull duct tape from your mouth if your hands were nailed to a wall.

He shrugged his shoulders, before turning towards her with a smile. "I just... think maybe you could use some fresh air every once in a while."

"Me? Wait... so you're saying you want me to come visit you?" she raised an eyebrow.

He nodded his head and placed a hand on her thigh, rubbing it with care. "Well, yeah, hon! Once we've got the whole family routine settled, I figured maybe you can spend a few days with me on Earth! You know... you, me, and our child!"

She weakly smiled back at him. Truth be told, she never really wanted to live such a sappy life, but... deep down, she at least wanted her child and her husband to be happy.

Then she frowned, as reality kicked in.

She placed a hand on his hand, and sighed. "Daniel... I appreciate the offer. Really, I do, but..."

He sighed as well, nodding his head. She knew he was smart enough to know it can't happen.

"I know, I know... Hell needs at least one of its leaders to keep it in check. Otherwise, the chaos could leak out beyond its borders, and cause unwanted consequences."

"Right... I've already adjourned the court early, so that we could do this... but tomorrow, it will have to proceed as usual." she said.

He nodded his head. "You know, I could always come in and take the load off for you."

She laughed a bit, to the point she had to cover her mouth in embarrassment. "Ha! Sorry, but... you'd have to have a heart of obsidian if you want to run a court. Especially in Hell, of all places!"

"Heh... try me, hon." he challenged.

And try him, she did.

"Alright, then. Two demons walk into the courtroom. One had a segment of land first, but the other has no land, and has a pregnant wife who's about to go into labor. The landowner doesn't have enough room to share for the birth of the child. What would you suggest?"

He thinks for a moment. "Well... what about an escort to the nearest hospital?"

"COVID Cases have skyrocketed. The hospitals are all full, now. And even still, we're in Hell. There are no hospitals here, so... try again."

"Oh... then how about we temporarily move the family into the castle, while the other one delivers the baby?"

"No can do. Servants' Quarters are for Staff, only. And even then, the Staff have to keep their families out, unless given direct permission by me, which means another case of requests to open up, after the hundreds behind the current one."

"Then... what if we got the staff that's already present to share a room to help deliver the baby in?"

"Sorry, but... again, Staff only. If we allowed that to happen, the castle would be swarmed every second of the day with commoners trying to deliver a baby on someone else's bed."

"Then... what do we do to help deliver the child?"

"Well, there's only one option that would work, and that's the least safest way to guarantee the child's successful delivery, or the mother's survival. They deliver in the streets, in an alleyway so that they don't get run over, or distracted. No supplies to assist them. No tools, except maybe a knife owned by the family, or anything they could get their hands on. That, or if they have claws, they could just use their own claws to either cut the umbilical cord for the child... or if the mother can't contract properly, they'd have to just claw the child directly from her stomach, and almost guarantee the mother's death, and the child a critical, maybe even fatal or permanent, injury."

"Isn't... isn't that a bit ruthless, though?"

"Yes, it is. Welcome to the life of a Leader in Hell... so tell me, dear... would you have the heart to tell the one who's begging for land that they have no other option?"

He was silent for a moment, before shaking his head. "No, I... I guess I wouldn't have the heart for that. Or the stomach."

"Exactly. Believe me, this job gets a lot worse. That's just an easy case. And there are several more of them backed up, so we can't even offer the court room to be temporarily put on hold while we personally help them then and there. Once adjourned, everyone else behind them are dismissed until tomorrow, including those who may not even have a tomorrow to reach a solution."

"Yikes... okay, fair enough." he said, now feeling a bit down about the thought of that situation. Sure enough, he was married to a powerful queen, and to keep such a stoic face while making those harsh decisions... he would be lying if he said he didn't at least gain a lot more respect for his lover right there. She was more than just looks alone, and a lot more than just an everyday psychopath with a pension for blood and death. She was cold, but calculated and very, very smart.

"And yes, before you wonder about it... I think about what would happen if I were in their shoes." she said, drawing his attention towards her once again.

She looked him in the eye. "It's a pain that even I wouldn't want. To lose a family member... maybe even two. I think about it every day, and have nightmares of them. Their souls haunt me, and I feel their pain and suffering."

"Wow... how do you put up with it?" he asked.

"Simple. I endure. You break a bone, and it grows back stronger. You break a soul, and it grows more powerful. By the time I spent being tortured, I've been physically and spiritually shattered... in the end, though, I guess some of us were just meant to be strong enough to endure it."

He nodded his head and looked out of the window. "... I understand."

The rest of the ride went by quietly. Even Death, having heard all of that, wasn't really going to make a comment on things, as it had him personally thinking of the scenario, as well.

Once they reached the Equestrian Gates, they saw Cerberus in their position, and approached the three-headed dog.

"Oh, Cerberus!" Daniel called out, causing the three heads to turn towards them. The ground around them quaked, as the Hell's personal Guard Dog approached him with a growl from each head.

They leaned down, as he lifted his hand up, and sniffed him.

Immediately, the growling was gone, and they all began panting happily, licking at their master, who in just mere seconds, was now covered in head-to-toe with Hellhound Saliva.

"Ack! No, Cerberus, hold on! Sit! Sit!" he called out, but Cerberus did more than sit. They lied down on their belly and pulled him in for a hug, while continuing to assault him with doggy kisses.

As he kept Cerberus busy, Despair floated in the air behind them, and managed to sneak out without being spotted.

The plan was simple... Daniel would keep Cerberus occupied, while Mina went to visit an old "friend" of hers. Not that she feared Cerberus, as they were technically her dogs. Rather, she knew that Cerberus was still bound to report everything to the leaders on the gates between Major Realms... and of all the ponies in Equestria, she definitely didn't want to have to deal with explaining things to Queen Twilight, or the former rulers who recently went into retirement.

As the black limo made its way down the simple roads of Ponyville, a few cars were seen parked near the homes and buildings that were still made up of light wood and straw roofs.

Mina rolled her eyes at the sight. "Ugh... these simpletons really need to upgrade their Architecture. It's too fucking simplistic here."

And soon, they arrived in their destination: Sugarcube Corner.

A happy couple was sitting at a table, eating cupcakes with a smile on their faces. They were staring lovingly at each others' eyes, and failed to notice the groups of customers running outside the door behind them, as the door's framework grew razor sharp teeth that leaked blood.

As Mina walked towards the door, a trail of dead grass and coal replaced the once living grass and stone blocks that she walked over.

She then crossed the doorway, and from the front counter, the yellow stallion smiled and waved at her for only a brief moment. "Oh, hey Pinkie Pie! Didn't you and your husband just go out on... vacation... or something?" he began to stutter, as he saw the chaotic aura surround her, and immediately, he realized what was standing before him.

"Oh, sweet Celestia, you aren't Pinkie... you're... y-you're the..." he stuttered.

She sighed, rolled her eyes, and folded her arms. "Yes. I'm the former Cupcake Killer, Pinkamena Dianne Pie II."

He quickly rushed towards the door, but Mina sealed it shut with a snap of her finger.

"Please, Pinkamena! I have a family! A wife, two kids, and... a-and..." he began, but she silenced him with a raised hand.

"You have nothing to fear of me, Mr. Cake. Even if I were still doing that kind of work, I... respect you too much to harvest from you, or your family." she explained.

He started to calm down a bit at that, before looking around the corners. "W-well, uh... everyone else are out right now, so... w-what did you need, exactly?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Simply put... I just came to order some Ice Cream."

"Some... Ice Cream? But... why do you want Ice Cream, exactly?" he asked, now completely confused.

"I live in Hell, Mr. Cake. Even more, I rule Hell, now." He gulped at that, but nodded his head. He read on the news of the time Lucifer was defeated by an Equestrian... he just didn't know that it was her who inherited the crown.

"I... I-I see... then, uh... I guess you're also going to need more for later, too?"

She shook her head and sighed. "As much as I wish I could just smuggle it into Hell, the fire and brimstone would just melt it as soon as I crossed the Gateway. Magic or not, they made sure to ward the entrance to keep this world's basic magic from entering."

"Right... s-so, uh... h-how long do you plan on staying, then?" he asked.

"Just for a few minutes. I only want to get in, eat some Ice Cream, then return to Hell so that my husband doesn't end up as Cerberus's chew toy." she replied.

"Husband?!" he asked, before looking down at her stomach and gasping. "Oh! Oh, I, uh... c-congratulations to you too, then!"

She raised an eyebrow. "Are you implying that I'm fat?" she asked.

He took a step back and rapidly shook his head and his hands defensively. "N-no! No, n-not at all! I j-just, uh..."

Then she burst into a fit of laughter, before raising a hand and placing it on the counter. "I'm kidding... yes, I'm pregnant." Finally, one of his statements caught her attention. "Wait... me too? So you're saying my original is also with child?"

He nodded his head and smiled warmly. "Yes, ma'am. I've seen her smile every single day that she was in here, but... when she broke the news to us, I swear, the smile she had on her face was just... so much more real than I've ever seen. It was a wonderful day for us all!"

"Uh huh... well then, please do give her my congratulations on her own success. Address me simply as 'Her Other Half'. She'll know it was from me, then." she requested.

He quickly jotted a sticky note and pasted it on the wall behind him. "There! I promise not to forget! I'll tell her as soon as I can!" He then crossed his heart and tapped on his eyelid with his palm.

Mina caught the gesture and looked at the Ice Cream station. "So anyways... I've been starving lately. It's pretty difficult to find suitable foods in Hell, so I've had to make do with sending my husband out on some shopping trips from his world."

"His world?" Mr. Cake inquired, but Mina raised a hand up.

"It's complicated. Just go with it."

He nodded his head. "Understood. So, then... are you interested in Pinkie Pie's usual Ice Cream Combo?"

"That depends. Ten layers, or twenty?"

"Thirty, now, actually. Twenty layers for her, and ten for her child." he replied.

She then actually smiled back at him.

"Mr. Cake... you know us too well."

When she left Sugarcube Corner, the environment within and outside of it returned to normal. She stepped into Despair and was about to wake Death up from his sleep, but then she heard him mumble something.

"Dad... no, dad... I... I'm sorry..."

She sighed before shaking her head and relaxing on the doorway.

It was another one of his flashbacks he was having. He had to live it through. It was part of his own personal Hell he brought himself in eons ago, after all... and she knew that, even though she wanted to help him with it, she couldn't due to obligations with the Laws of Nature.

Or basically, the gods cursed Death, and if anyone broke said curse, they'd be waging war against them... and Hell isn't quite ready for that, just yet.

"Maybe someday you'll learn to forgive yourself, Cain." she said, staring at Death's reflection in the mirror.

He was running... running from Divine Punishment.

His brother's blood was still on his hands. He knew that he had done something wrong... something that he couldn't put a name to, yet something he heard from his parents. Something they warned him of.

And he knew that by being the first to bring it upon the world, he would be condemned to inherit it for all eternity.

His brother's crying only grew louder, as he hid in the bushes. He was being chased... and his pursuer was a wrathful entity he came to know as Abba... the Creator of Man.

Soon, he was discovered, and he bowed down in fear.

He then found himself banished to the Land of Nod, where he would spend the rest of his mortality in isolation... forever alone.

On the day he was supposed to die, he waited painfully for Abba to call him into his kingdom...

...

... but Abba never came. Soon days turned to weeks, to months, to years. His body became decrepit, and his flesh began to peel, until all that was left were his bones.

A great flood washed over the lands, and he found himself floating on a fallen tree, as the rain poured onto his bones... and he remained sitting there, staring into the water... wondering why he couldn't find peace. Why he couldn't just... be strong enough to resist his jealousy over his little brother.

He then heard a demonic snicker nearby. Turning around, he saw a snake crawl out of the trunk of the tree he was sitting on.

"Lucifer..." he muttered with grit teeth.

The serpent materialized into a shadowy figure resembling a man with glowing red eyes. "Hello, Cain... or should I say... welcome to your new life... Death."

Death's eye sockets shot open and he gasped for breath. Looking around, he noticed Mina sleeping in the back seat through the mirror's reflection.

"Oh... crap, what time is it?" he mumbled to himself, before checking the sky. "Yeesh... guess we better get back to Hell, before someone shows up..."

And so, he drove his way back into the Gates. After making sure the coast was clear, he floated his car into the Gates secretly.

Cerberus was still preoccupied with Daniel, who at least was now gaining control of the situation... by sleeping on top of the sleeping dogs' chest, and using Cerberus's paws as a blanket.

Death looked over at Mina and cleared his throat. "Uh... hey, Boss? You, uh... might wanna go get your husband."

Mina grumbled, then opened her eyes. Looking over to the side, she nodded her head and stepped out of the car.

With a bit of magic, she was able to levitate Daniel out of Cerberus's paws, and into the car without waking any of them up.

Finally, upon re-entering the castle courtyard, she and Daniel began making their way back towards her bedroom. She figured it'd be best that he slept there with her, and returned home tomorrow morning. Naturally, he agreed wholeheartedly.

As they stepped out of the limo, she took a look at Death and knocked on the front passenger window.

He lowered the window and saluted. "Yes, Boss?"

She was about to say something, but paused, before rethinking her words.

"Just, uh... thanks for the lift."

"Oh, uh... any time, Boss! Happy to help!" he said with a smile.

She smiled back at him and tapped on the door, before turning to leave.

As she was no longer in view, Death rolled his window up and hummed.

"Huh... she never really thanked me for anything... wonder what's up?" he asked himself. He then brushed it off with a shake of the head.

"Ah, well... guess I better get back to work, then. Souls ain't gonna ride themselves to their destinations!"

With that, he drove off, while at the door to the castle, Mina stood there, watching him go.

"Hmm... maybe Daniel can help... nah, I shouldn't get him involved in it." she said to herself, before finally entering the palace. The doors creaked slowly, before closing behind her completely.