Trigger Happy Equines

“NO, THAT’S WRONG!”

Inky’s Account <> went to the MonoMart this morning

< Argument Break >

“You’re wrong,” I said weakly. I raised my head slowly, afraid to speak another word, but knowing that I had no choice. “I don’t know how to say this, but Shetland didn’t go to the MonoMart this morning. It would’ve been impossible, actually.”

“What!?” Sanscript cried in shock. “What are you saying!? Did you see him this morning!?”

“No,” I replied.

“Did anyone here see him before half seven!? Is anyone here able to confirm that he was elsewhere!?”

A series of shaken heads and negative replies from the group.

“Well then,” Sanscript said, visibly irritated, “what possible reason can you have to believe this? The MonoMart would have been open in time to allow him to go inside and obtain whatever he pleased. You’ve consistently insisted that Shetland was the killer and now you’re arguing in favor of him?”

“Of course!” Shetland declared, smiling in my direction. “He is one who seeks the truth no matter how strongly he felt about his original accusation. I have misjudged you, Greyscale. You are determined to see this through with logic.”

“Quiet,” Mesmer said sternly. He turned to me, looking concerned. Rather than speak harshly, his tone was solid but decidedly softer than usual. “Greyscale, what was it that prevented Shetland from going to the MonoMart this morning?”

“Inky can tell you,” I replied. “She was at the MonoMart from the moment it opened until she was found over an hour later.”

Mesmer sighed deeply, clenching his eyes shut for a second or so. “Is this true, Inky?”

“Well yeah,” the mare replied, apparently not understanding the severity of her account. “I wanted to get inside as soon as possible so I waited by the entrance at just before seven and entered the moment it was open.”

“And you saw no-one?” Mesmer asked. “You can be sure no-one else entered before you were discovered by Maribelle and her group?”

“Positive. I might not have been looking at the entrance the whole time but it’d be obvious if someone came in because of the announcement that plays. That’s what startled me when Maribelle, Button and Dish Panner showed up. I was even near the back end of the store and I heard it loud and clear.”

“I need to make sure,” Mesmer continued, “that Shetland couldn’t have come in just after you, slipping in through the doorway, thus preventing the announcement from playing?”

“Nuh-uh. When I first came in I went to the fruit boxes near the entrance. If someone had come in before the door closed, I would’ve seen them, especially someone the size of Shetland.”

“Inky,” Dopple interjected. “Are you absolutely certain you entered precisely at seven?”

“Hey, what is this, an inquisition!?” Inky barked back angrily. “I’m not stupid, you know. Yes, I’m sure it was right on the dot. There’s a little light next to the clock that turns green the moment it hits opening time and something like a bell. As soon as that played the doors opened automatically, letting me inside. So yeah, Shetland couldn’t have come to the MonoMart in the morning. Why’s that a big deal?”

“It means,” Mesmer said, frowning. “That he couldn’t have pulled off the murder. That is, unless anyone has seen any kind of knife or sharp instrument in any portion of the hotel?”

“Not me,” Yoko said. “I was in the gym for a while this morning and there’s nothing in there that could be used for cutting.”

“Besides,” Dish Panner began, “there wasn’t even anything in the kitchen, and we had a ground tour of the entire complex. The only place you could hope to find such an item is the MonoMart.”

Saclpel shuddered. “And if the knives, shears and other blades are too big to be concealed, he wouldn’t have been able to sneak out with one in front of all of us walking alongside him.”

“Also, the closing time,” Elsie put forward. “We were all together in the dining hall until after the MonoMart closed. Shetland didn’t leave our sight at any point.”

“Um... A secret entrance?” Reph suggested. “Maybe a door at the back?”

“Nope,” Inky said. “If there was one, I’d have found it. There aren’t even any windows.”

Button gasped. “What about the lockers!? Yoko and Shetland tore ‘em off so maybe the remains could be used!”

“A clever thought,” Dopple commented. “But the metal used for the doors are too thick to offer a clean cut. Whatever was used had to have been very sharp.”

Silence reigned for a few seconds as the realization dawned on us all.

“Damn it,” Mesmer said disappointedly. “I should’ve questioned Inky more thoroughly during the investigation. Then I would’ve realized this sooner.” He took a sharp breath. “Thank you for bringing this to light, Greyscale.”

I merely nodded in response.

“So who’s the killer?” Button asked. “If Shetland couldn’t have done it, who could?”

“A good question,” Shetland said, regaining his authoritative demeanor and speaking to us as the leader he once was. “My theory is that this murder has been staged in an attempt to frame one of us, simply because none of us wished to commit murder. The one who is behind it has been working with Monobunny and is the mastermind of this whole scenario! They’re the one occupying the sixteenth room on the second floor, the one that doesn’t belong to any of us! Even if I could have gotten hold of a knife, where could I have disposed of it? I certainly couldn’t have flushed one that size down the toilet, and we searched every square inch of the hotel and the surrounding area. But if the killer was the occupant of the sixteenth room, they would have had the chance to go to the MonoMart while we were busy elsewhere and they could have kept an eye on us easily. It’s obvious that the cameras aren’t here just for show, they’re so the mastermind can keep track of our movements, kill whenever they want to and then watch as we go at each other’s throats for their own sick pleasure!”

Reph timidly raised a hoof. “But Monobunny said–”

“I don’t care what Monobunny said!” Shetland blared. “None of us can be totally sure that he’s not lying about some things, right?”

“This again!?” Monobunny cried, fiercely striking his stool with his hammer, emitting what could have been mistaken for thunderclaps. “When will you ever learn!? I refuse to lie! If these games are to be good enough I must be honest at all possible times! You’re a veteran police officer, right? You understand the psychological makeup of megalomaniacal sickos with God complexes, right? Then what sense would it make for me to turn my back on the most important thing about me!? The greatest despair can only come from the truth! That’s the whole point of it all!”

“Who will you trust?” Shetland asked, looking to each of us in turn. “The creepy black and white rabbit who keeps us trapped here, or a defender of justice like myself? The choice is obvious, if you ask me.”

“That’s bullshit!” Copper cried. “We have just as much reason to trust you as we do the rabbit. How do we even know you’re who you say you are? A real Ultimate Police Officer would’ve devised a better plan so that Pinkie didn’t end up dead. It’s suspicious that you specified a meeting time an hour after we had access to the MonoMart and swimming area. It’s also suspicious how you showed your badge to Scalpel during the search, almost as if to throw us off your scent and prove your innocence, which didn’t work. Not to mention, you sent three earth ponies to search outside the hotel, keeping all four pegasi inside, meaning nobody would’ve had a chance to fly up to the roof or look in through the windows to see what you were up to. Finally, the rising water in the cistern is the biggest offender.”

Shetland remained cool, observing Copper with a stony glare. “Regarding your first point, I will admit some error on my part. I didn’t expect a murder to happen so soon, and in the very first moment that our group was apart. On to your second point, my badge is of great importance to me, and it is a habit of mine to retrieve it whilst speaking about the protection of Equestria’s citizens, that’s all. Thirdly, I hadn’t considered the roof since neither Pinkie nor Inky would’ve had access at the time of their disappearance. As for the water in the cistern, I cannot help but feel it was merely your imagination, spurred on by the frantic nature of this trial. I’m surprised you would even remember such a thing. That’s what’s the most suspicious.”

Copper bared her teeth, her posture edging towards an attacking stance. “You can’t turn this on me when you’re the most suspicious one here. Your pathetic excuses keep piling up! The evidence points to you!”

“And yet none of you have an explanation for how I supposedly cut the cord on Pinkie’s keycard. Add to that the fact that concealing any of the tools from the MonoMart would be extremely difficult in any case, and absolutely impossible to accomplish by flushing away. Despite checking every inch of the dome and staying in groups, we found nothing of the sort.

“Also, if I did plan to kill Pinkie, why would I have gone through such an elaborate setup? If I’d simply snapped her neck and left it at that there would’ve been no need for hiding the body, no need for stealing keycards or any of that other crap that you’ve all come up with, and there would’ve been no evidence to speak of! There would be no reason for it whatsoever! This whole murder scenario you’ve cooked up makes no sense at all. That is why I insist that I am innocent. That is why the killer has to be someone who has not yet shown their face, no matter what Monobunny says!”

“You’re wrong,” I said.

Shetland cocked his head. “And what do you mean by that?”

“You’re the killer,” I replied. The world began to blur. My soul was on fire. My heart thundered inside my chest yet I remained composed and placid. The hundreds of cameras that surrounded us, the lights at the edge of the hall, the wispy blue light that weaved spirals around us, and everything but the glow of the spotlights and Shetland’s towering form faded from my vision, the other participants receding into mere ghostly shadows. It was a sensation beyond description. I now had focus I couldn’t have dreamed of. The rest of the world was drowned out as I made my declaration, nothing but Shetland and I facing each other off. “You were able to cut the cord. In fact, it would’ve been an easy task.”

“Okay then,” Shetland said, shrugging. “You’re a persistent one, I’ll give you that. Explain to me how I could’ve cut the cord, because from where I’m standing, it must have been impossible.”

“Greyscale?” Dopple said, her voice just barely reaching my ears as a storm raged in my mind. “You really have it figured out, don’t you?”

I nodded. My prey was in sight. All that was left to do was cut them down. This was the final test, the final riddle, the final decisive strike to put an end to this murder trial!

Final Panic vs Shetland Yard

The cord had to have been cut with a sharp implement!

I couldn’t have bitten through it!

The only knives and shears at the MonoMart are too big to be concealed!

No such items were ever found during the search!

There were no sharp implements in any of the hotel rooms!

There was no accomplice who could’ve covered for me!

I couldn’t have used the remains of the male lockers!

I couldn’t have planted the item on anyone else!

My badge couldn’t have been used!

I couldn’t have gone to the MonoMart in the morning or Inky would have seen me!

I couldn’t have gone to the MonoMart alone last night!

I couldn’t have gone before we were brought there by Monobunny!

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So tell me, how could I have possibly cut the cord attached to Pinkie’s keycard!?

I took a deep breath, ready to finish the job. Adrenaline surged through my veins as I delivered my answer – the killing blow to Shetland’s argument!

"THIS IS THE END!"