Trigger Happy Equines

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a o r R a z B d l e

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Razor Blade

< Argument Break >

“The knives and shears would’ve been far too big for you to conceal them, that’s true, but the same can’t be said for one other sharp item in the MonoMart: razor blades.”

Shetland recoiled, his previously assertive demeanor dropping in an instant and being replaced by horrified shock. “B-but that’s…” He trailed off, looking to Scalpel for support. The unicorn mare looked away just as he did so, grimacing.

“It should be plain to see,” I continued, “that such an item could have easily been stored inside your shirt pocket. It may not serve as a particularly effective murder weapon, but it would have been perfect for cutting rope with the minimum amount of fraying. That way, you could have disposed of it before the meeting even started.”

“You’re right,” Mesmer commented. “Concealing it while we explored the MonoMart would have also been a simple task.” He smiled a little. “I didn’t realize there were razor blades in the store. You have a keen eye, Greyscale.”

Mesmer’s compliment was welcome, but I was reminded of exactly why the presence of razor blades had been so memorable. My heart jolted, just a little.

“Shut up!” Shetland cried. “You think you’re so smart! Why would I have gone through that if I could’ve just killed Pinkie and left the body?”

“That’s obvious,” Mesmer replied. “You needed a safety net in case Pinkie had let slip that the two of you were meeting in the swimming pool. She was a friendly and talkative mare, enough that upon asking her to accompany you it wouldn’t have been unlikely that she’d previously mentioned it to someone in passing conversation. If that happened you would’ve been the prime suspect, as the other would simply need to come forward. Your plan was to devise a setup that pushed the blame away from yourself as much as you could, making it seem impossible for you to have committed the murder. Not that this should need explaining, as it doesn’t matter what your reasons were. The evidence points to you.”

“I don’t care!” Shetland bellowed, flinging an angry hoof outwards only to have it repelled by the barrier. “It’s all just conjecture! It’s all wrong! You don’t have the evidence to pin on me!”

“This just in,” Monobunny said. “After sifting through the dome’s waste pipes, some interesting discoveries have been made!” He pointed his gavel downwards and a small hole opened up near the center of the stage. A black pillar then rose from it to around eye level, spinning slowly, upon which stood a canvas propped up by a wooden stand. Pinned on to the canvas was a gleaming razor blade alongside two capped tubes – one white and one black. Just below was some torn plastic packaging, the words ‘MonoPoxy Adhesive’ printed along the top. “The things equines will flush down the toilet these days. What a waste!”

“There it is!” Inky exclaimed. “So it’s true? You really killed Pinkie? You heartless monster! You don’t deserve to live!”

Yoko spat at the floor. “You sicken me, Shetland. You’re a pathetic disgrace.”

“I don’t know,” Button said anxiously, rubbing the back of his neck. “Like, how did anyone flush a canvas down the toilet?”

“I don’t think that’s what happened,” Maribelle replied, chuckling. “Only the things on the canvas.”

“Lies!” Shetland screamed, veins bulging from his neck. “This is all part of Monobunny’s sick game!”

“Maybe so,” I stated. “But you’re the one who played by his rules. Allow me to go over the case, piece by piece, to leave no doubt in anyone’s mind of how it was done. And then…” I frowned, staring into the eyes of the quivering wreck that was Shetland Yard, “You’ll have to face your punishment.”

“HERE’S EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED IN THIS CASE!”

“The killer’s plans began yesterday during Monobunny’s tour of the dome. When we entered the locker rooms for the swimming pool, the killer convinced us that the doors to each of our lockers should be removed to prevent anyone from storing dangerous weapons. Together with Yoko, they did as such, leaving every locker on the stallions’ side open and bare. This was seen as a move towards keeping us safe, but it was actually a great ploy when you consider an important facet of the murder itself.

“After visiting each communal area of the hotel we were then given a tour of the MonoMart, a supermarket with an enormous range of food, drink, and other items. It was here that the killer obtained some important items vital to carrying out their plan – a razor blade and a small packet of epoxy adhesive. It would be difficult for most of us to carry these items out without being spotted, but the killer had the perfect hiding place – their shirt pocket. This way they were able to stash the items without anyone noticing.

“After picking up various food items we retreated to the dining area for a meal, only to discover that there were no knives for chopping vegetables in the kitchen. The killer disallowed anyone from fetching one, supposedly in the name of safety, but in reality it was so they could – if necessary – convince us that they couldn’t have carried out a certain action, one that the razor blade was to be used for.

“It was also during this time that the killer set in motion another important part of their plan. They arranged for everyone to meet the next morning in the dining room at eight o’ clock to discuss our plan of escape, a full hour after the swimming area would open. They also set their sights on Pinkie Pie, their chosen murder victim. After everyone had dispersed, they approached Pinkie and invited her to a morning swim at seven o’ clock. Pinkie had fervently displayed her trust in the would-be killer and thus agreed, completely unaware of the cruel fate that awaited her.

“Both Pinkie and the killer met up at the third floor for seven, each carrying a towel. Pinkie had also come with her inflatable ring which she had since blown up to full size, ready for the swim. They each entered through their respective locker rooms and met up on the other side, where the killer struck, grabbing Pinkie by the neck and snapping it in two, killing her instantly. For most equines this would be a difficult murder method, but the killer was strong and had a degree of combat training, allowing them to slay Pinkie with nothing but their own hooves with ease.

“But the killer wasn’t done yet. On the off chance that Pinkie had spoken about their arranged meeting with someone else, the killer put into action a plan to hide her body. And the perfect hiding place would be somewhere nobody else could reach – inside Pinkie’s locker. But blocking their path was a deadly machine gun attached to a camera that would cut down any stallions trying to get into the mare’s locker room, or so it would seem. As Monobunny had stated the day before, the machine gun could only fire if the intruder was seen by the connected camera. The killer used Monobunny’s specific wording to figure out a weak spot that would allow them to negate the machine gun’s threat.

“The killer covered the camera atop the tripod with the towel that they had brought with them and snuck inside with Pinkie’s body. Next, they took a razor blade that had been concealed inside their shirt pocket, the same razor blade that had been taken from the MonoMart the day before. Using this they cut the cord attached to the keycard around Pinkie’s neck. The precise cut would lead us to believe that it could have only been done with a knife or shears, but this was not the case.

“They put Pinkie’s body inside her own locker, along with something else – the inflatable ring Pinkie had taken. But it wouldn’t fit in the same locker while it was inflated, so the killer quickly tore it open and puffed out the air, allowing them to hide it in the same place. This could have been done to prevent anyone from finding it, but during the investigation it gave us an extra clue to point towards the hiding place of Pinkie’s body.

“Next, the killer took Pinkie’s towel into the store room next to the swimming pool and hid it right at the back. It may have seemed like an amateur mistake to leave evidence lying around, but the towel would become a vital part of carrying out the rest of their plan. Hiding Pinkie’s keycard inside their shirt pocket, they left the swimming area, heading for their room so they could dispose of the razor blade by flushing it down the toilet.

“Several minutes later at around half seven, Dopple, Yoko and I entered the swimming pool, completely oblivious to the fact that Pinkie’s corpse was mere meters away. After our swim we went to the dining room for the eight o’ clock meeting, which the killer had held. Everyone was present except for Pinkie Pie and Ink Slinger, and after a short while it was decided that a search should be made to look for them.

“Knowing about the location of Pinkie’s body, the killer made sure that they would search the same area, but to avoid suspicion insisted that everyone search in groups of three or more. After forming groups for the MonoMart and hotel exterior, the first floor and the second floor, there were four of us left for the third floor, the killer, Dr. Scalpel, Copper and myself. Looking back, it was a strange decision to leave the areas outside the hotel to Maribelle, Button and Dish Panner, since they’re all earth ponies and would be unable to check the roof areas, and most importantly, be unable to see the goings on inside the swimming area. The killer had probably anticipated this possibility and ensured that no pegasus would be a part of that group.

“After Copper suggested an idea to watch the second floor stairwells to check if anyone broke away from their group or moved between the floors, the killer heartily agreed, leaving them with checking the swimming area alongside Dr. Scalpel, arguing that between them they could still search each locker room, and would still count as a group of four with Copper and I. But in reality, this was done so that they would have an easier time removing the body from its hiding place without getting caught.

“And so, everyone split off into groups to search for Pinkie and Inky. After leaving Copper and I, the killer walked into the male locker room and prepared something using items they had hidden inside their shirt pocket. They took out Pinkie’s keycard and the tubes of epoxy adhesive and dabbed a small amount of each chemical compound on either end of the cord. During this time it was thought that they were searching the locker room for clues, so it wouldn’t be suspicious to stay there for a short amount of time.

“Instead of carrying the items with them again, the killer kept the adhesive tubes and Pinkie’s keycard in one of the open lockers that wouldn’t be visible from outside. Since Dr. Scalpel was the only one present in the area, she would have been unable to enter the male locker room and find the evidence.

“The two carried out a search of the area, with Dr. Scalpel closing the windows, presumably to close off any access points that could provide a murderer with an escape route. It was a small action, but one that would help prove Copper’s innocence later on.

“The killer and Dr. Scalpel searched the store room and found Pinkie’s towel, the same one that had been planted earlier. After the search was finished the killer did something else to pass off their fake innocence, taking their badge from their pocket during a conversation with Dr. Scalpel. This was to throw us off should we consider the concealment of items in that exact place, but was possible simply because they had left those items somewhere else temporarily.

“The killer kept hold of the towel and walked towards the male locker room while Dr. Scalpel exited through the female locker room. But the killer wasn’t ready to leave yet. Using their speed of flight they were able to dash into the male locker room and pick up Pinkie’s keycard, then fly into the female locker room, placing Pinkie’s towel on top of the camera before just before doing so. Using the keycard, they unlocked Pinkie’s locker, removed her body and shut the door. Then they flew up with Pinkie’s body to the diving board and tied the cord around her neck, placing it in such a way that the ends would have force applied to them and allow the adhesive to set, creating the illusion that her keycard had never been removed in the first place. However, it wasn’t a perfect job, and the cord would eventually come undone during our investigation.

“With every second counting, the killer flew out, grabbing Pinkie’s towel and tubes of epoxy adhesive, stashing the latter inside their shirt pocket as before. The killer exited the locker room and met up with Copper and I around fifteen seconds after Dr. Scalpel had done so, not rousing our suspicion at the time. Next, we questioned each group one by one if they had had any success in the search, with no discoveries made until we came across Maribelle, Button and Dish Panner, who had found Inky in the MonoMart. It turned out she had been there since opening time and had forgotten about the meeting.

“With Pinkie still missing, it was considered that she might still be in her room. After Monobunny refused to open her door, the killer decided to break into her room through the window and told the three of us to go back into the hotel as they would simply unlock the door from the inside. This, however, was actually part of the killer’s plan to discard their incriminating items for good. While alone in Pinkie’s room, the killer flushed the tubes of adhesive down the toilet before letting us inside, allowing us to conduct another fruitless search of her room.

“With everyone returning to the dining room and Pinkie still missing, the killer devised a new search, one that would cover everyone’s personal rooms. By doing this they were able to keep up the façade of actually caring about Pinkie being missing, and so each of our rooms were searched in turn with nothing being found.

“During this time the killer was questioned about having their clothes searched and the killer obliged, having nothing to fear now that all items had been disposed of. It was also around this time that Copper temporarily left the group to grab a drink from the MonoMart, a decision that made her look suspicious, but one that wouldn’t have given her an opportunity to fly back into the swimming area since the windows had been closed and could only be opened from the inside.

“After the search of each other’s rooms turned up nothing and Pinkie’s towel being the only available clue, we once again congregated in the dining room, deciding what to do next. Coincidentally, it was around this time that Button Mash asked Maribelle to go swimming with him, and the two rushed off to the pool, discovering Pinkie’s corpse – which had seemed to appear from thin air – in the process. Once the body discovery announcement played the rest of us were called to the same place, and the investigation began.

“This was a multi-layered and clever murder, one that required planning that the killer probably cooked up while being given a tour of the third floor and were able to put it into action once the correct tools were discovered at the MonoMart. There’s only one possible culprit that I can think of, someone who could’ve carried out such a devious plan all while tricking us into believing their actions were for the sake of our safety. Only one of us could have been in all the necessary places at all the correct times to pull it off, and only one of us could have orchestrated the day’s events to match what they needed. And that someone is none other than the Ultimate Police Officer, Shetland Yard!”