It was around eight PM when I sat at my apartment's balcony. I could see the sky so clearly that night. The moon was bright, and there were a few stars around. Considering we were in the middle of a city, that was a miracle. I had planned to go to sleep after a few more minutes. I needed to sleep. But my head didn't allow my body to go to sleep. My brain kept pestering me about how interesting things could be if there were ghosts or any type of supernatural thing in the world as I stared into the blue sky.
It was then that a shooting star passed by. And I decided to think something stupid. It would be amazing to have magic in the world. And that, that stupid thought, was what set things in motion.
It seemed as if making that stupid thought consumed more energy than I thought. Because I went to sleep soon after climbing down the balcony's railing. After that, I ended up elsewhere. But I think I have a few things to say before that.
Well, seeing as I failed at the basic premise of buying stuff from some weird guy from a zombie game, wasn't hit by a truck, or got struck by lightning by a careless god, it's obvious that I am a failure at being a protagonist. Secondly, I fail at several aspects of a generic protagonist as well! My family is alive. I have friends. I wasn't an oblivious numbskull that couldn't tell the difference of someone flirting with them and someone trying to murder them. I am not a depressed kid with some quirky family that gave me a weird motive for knowing martial arts or knowing martial arts or having a sword.
Welcome to the life of puny little me. A university student pulling his weight to figure out what the fuck he is going to do with his life. Yay. Now, names. Since being regular was my thing I could have been called Bob or some other common name. But, because my family liked knights' stories, I ended up with Arthur. Last name, Orchid. Yep, Arthur Orchid. Talk about a combination.
At any rate, this is what happened before I got into the mess of living in magical pony land.
Now for what happened when I woke up in said magical pony land.
Did you ever feel claustrophobic? I know I did. Waking up in a pitch-black room with my back against the dirt as if you're buried alive made me panic as I felt the scent of earth and dirt all around me. I began clawing my way out of the damned place. I inhaled a bit of dirt while panickily breathing and digging my way out of that place. I emerged from the ground and took a deep breath as I felt the sun assault my eyes.
It took a few seconds, but I managed to adapt to the sunlight. I coughed up whatever dirt I had inhaled before dragging my body out of the hole. I could see white walls in front of me and a lot of grass.
Grass? What the? I questioned while rubbing off the dirt from my body. Wait. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY ARMS!? WHAT IS UP WITH MY LEGS!? WHY IS MY NOSE SO BIG?! I thought while looking at the furry limbs and long nose in front of my eyes. I looked around and saw a small lake with a few swans lazily floating around.
Rushing over to the lake, I looked at my reflection. I was a fucking dog. No kidding. I couldn't even get the reincarnation bit right. I was supposed to look like a cute little animal or a regular human that, somehow, would be considered attractive. I wasn't supposed to look like I was a dog with fangs sharp enough to cut flesh like butter. Or claws that were pointy and sharp. Or have tail that looked like a morning star plushie.
My arms were very long when compared to my legs. They reached halfway through my ankles. My fur was pistachio on my belly, inner arms, tail, jaw, eyebrows, inside my ears, cheeks, and forearms. As for the other areas such as the top of my nose, the rest of my head, my back, my shoulders, and other areas such as my paws were juniper colored. For short, I was in two different shades of green. Why complicate? Because I feel like it since I have to deal with this madness most of the time.
So, after coming to terms with the fact I was now a mutant dog. I had to come to terms with the fact that there were a lot, and I mean a LOT of horse-like creatures around me. And they were STARING hard. The next logical step was figuring out if I could speak. So, I opened my mouth and they rushed out.
"Hi," I said to the deserted garden that now existed in the gardens.
Did I mention I was naked? Well, I was. Luckily, the fur and anatomy didn't make me walk around with my penis hanging around. I think it's safe to say that appearances matter around here.
"Don't move!" I heard as I turned to look at a spear that was floating in front of my face.
"Please do not impale me with a medieval spear," I mumbled while raising both my arms. And that made the guard let out a scream and drop the spear. The pony just curled up in a ball and screamed like a baby while crying their eyes out. Honestly, I felt bad for the thing. They were even dressed up in roman armor.
Since I wasn't sure what to do, I did what I used to do to calm my pets down. I kneeled and started gently scratching the base of its neck. The thing scared the shit out of me when it suddenly went limp. I thought I killed it before, I noticed the droll coming out of its mouth. And the delighted groans it made when I stopped. And that was when reinforcements came by.
This time I groveled and wrapped my hands behind my head instead of making me look like I was about to pounce them. And hey, it worked. Because they tied me up and took me into what I learned to be a castle. Yep, I was in a FUCKING CASTLE. In a land filled with smart ponies that can use spears, armor, and speak. Because this is completely normal. And they walk naked. By naked I mean they covered their chests with armor, but the hind parts were all exposed. And I'm not exactly thrilled with the idea of looking at the scrotum of a bunch of stallions and the vaginas of mares around me.
I am well aware it wasn't their intention to have me seeing them as their tails were just waggling around as they walked. However, the lack of intent doesn't make it any better. At any rate, I felt odd as everyone seemed to be high enough to only reach half my torso. But enough about my odd insecurity problems, there is a plot to develop. And by that, I mean a winged unicorn that somehow (given the pattern I had seen up to that point it felt out of place) was taller than me by half-a-head. And she looked like she could stomp me into oblivion as if killing a pesky bug on a wall.
"Princess! This is the intruder! We found him near a collapsed and shocked soldier that kept drooling as if he had been hit by a spell," One of the guards spoke as two nurse-like ponies carried in the guard from the gardens on a stretcher. They had a white coat and a mane that had two tones of blue. And their face was red enough to make me think they were having a cartoon fever.
"Cadet Gleaming Shield, what happened?" The winged unicorn said while looking attentively at the pony.
"I, I found the intruder. I ordered them not to move. And then they got ready to attack," The soldier said in a shaky voice.
"I object to that statement!" I blurted in a blind panic before covering my mouth with both hands. Yeah, I accidentally broke free from the rope knots they had used to tie me up. The knot wasn't that tight. It was almost as if they were trying not to hurt me. You can guess how the guards reacted, they yelped before running off into the distance. Even the nurses dropped the poor guard on the floor before bolting.
"There is no reason to panic. You will have your chance to explain yourself. Please, wait for your turn to speak. Now, Gleaming Shield, continue," The Princess said in a calm tone that was very comforting in the middle of that mess.
"The intruder raised his claws to attack. I, I panicked, dropped my spear, and cowered on the ground," The guard said while lowering its head to the point of nearly pressing their forehead on the carpet.
"And then?" The Princess asked while leaning forward.
"I closed my eyes and they did something that made me go limp. Before I knew it, I was drooling on the ground and I felt so drowsy I couldn't do anything but let out a, a moan," The guard said while turning red as the carpet beneath my feet.
"I just scratched your neck. How did that make you moan?" I muttered under my breath while facepalming, or should I say paw? Nah. I won't do that.
"Now, for you, Diamond Dog, what brings you to Canterlot? Through a tunnel nonetheless," The Princess asked while my ears perked up and I tilted my head.
"Diamond what now?" I asked while remembering a stealth tactic espionage action game with an army that went by the same name.
"Are you unaware of what you are?" The Princess asked while raising an eyebrow to my statement.
"I know I look like a dog. But, regarding the tunnel, if you have someone check, you'll notice it ends in a coffin-like hole that I woke up in. So, I didn't have any intention of intruding. And, about the thing with the guard, I raised my arms to show that I surrender. Not a big fan of being impaled by a spear. Ha-ha," I said while scratching the back of my head. Which caused a reflex and my right leg began to tap repeatedly. "Aw, come on! What is next? Howling to the freaking moon?!" I blurted while throwing my arms up before letting them hang limply by my side. "Sorry."
"Is that so? And the thing you did to my guard?" The princess inquired while smiling at my complaint.
"That, right, um, I scratched the base of her neck," I said while making the motion I did to the guard on the air.
"That's all? How did that make her look like this?" The princess inquired while looking at an extremely embarrassed pony that was hiding behind their hooves.
"Your guess is as good as mine," I replied while looking at my paw.
That was when I had the bright idea of walking to the guard pony and doing the same thing as before, but behind their ears this time. They started to relax before they quit hiding behind their hooves. And then, I saw them looking at the horizon with half-open eyes. I tilted my head before stopped scratching and raising my paw. This caused the pony to look drowsy for a couple of seconds before looking at me with half-open eyes.
"W-what did you do?" They asked while lazily looking at me. "Keep doing it," They added while getting up and almost putting their head beneath my other hand.
I reflexively raised both my arms and took a few steps back. The guard tried to keep up, but the sudden movement combined with their half-drunk state made them trip and fall sideways.
"So, that's what happened," I said while turning my face to the princess.
"Uhm," The Princess said while getting off her throne and coming closer. "Let me see them," She said while reaching for my right arm with her right front leg. "There are no signs of magic on them. Nor any enchantments."
That was when the second brilliant idea popped in my head. She looked like a living marshmallow with those colorful ones for a mane. Seeing as she had my hand near her face, I just stretched my fingers and started scratching underneath her chin. She immediately let go of my hand and let her head rest on my head while I kept scratching her chin. She just let out a delighted groan while adjusting her head for me to scratch.
WHAT AM I DOING?! I screamed internally to break out of the petting thing. I stopped before putting my hands behind my back and stepping back.
"Sorry! I didn't mean to, do, that," I mumbled while looking at the Princess that was staring at me with half-open eyes. But, hers felt different. While the guard felt submissive and begging, hers felt like looking at a starving wolf. And the devious smile didn't help much either. My entire body shuddered as she stepped closer to me.
LOUD NOISE NOW! I concluded before clapping my paws together making a loud noise that seemed to scare the Princess and snap her from her trance. She looked at me wide-eyed before shaking her head sideways as her cheeks got tinged with a faint blush.
"I, I think I understand what happened. It, It wasn't something unpleasant at the very least. But, I must ask that you refrain from doing that to any pony out there. Save for me that is," She muttered while I took another step back.
"Understood. Um, if you don't mind me asking, where am I?" I inquired while nervously looking away from the princess. Something was lingering in her from whatever I did to her. And it made me worry.
"You are in Equestria's capital, Canterlot," The princess said while scratching her left leg with her right leg. "I am Princess Celestia. And you are?"
"Arthur Orchid," I meekly responded while watching closely for any signs of the wolf.
"Well, I will request that the guards check the tunnel to see if your story is indeed true. Meanwhile, we will have you stay within the castle. I'll send some doctors to verify your health as you seem to be unaware of how you got here," Princess Celestia said while gesturing me to head to the corridor.
In summary, I was captive and locked in a castle with her. Is that a good thing? Or did I just get a ticket to rapey town?
Author's Note
There is nothing that could possibly go wrong with this, right?
Thanks for reading!!!! Let me know what you think!
