As Applejack and the Crusaders returned to the Apple Homestead, Applejack called out to her brother, “We’re home! Big Mac, could you open the toolshed? We have some work to do!”

“Boog?”

“Yessir!”

“Eeyup!”

As they were waiting for Big Mac to open the shed, the Crusaders got to learning about what a boogaloo is.

“So Sis, how does boogin’ work?”

“Well, Apple Bloom, when a politician feller goes theivin', the pony being targeted tells the feller to git. But when the feller refuses to git, the pony just has to make them do so. And that’s where boogin’ comes in,”

“So it’s kind of like an abusive relationship but one side is trying to make the other stop? I mean, sometimes when I come home I walk in on my sister being tied up by one of her customers, but I don’t quite think that’s quite the same because Rarity’ll always freeze up if she notices me and she’ll say something random like ‘grapefruit’. Also sometimes when I-”

“I ... think that’s enough information, Sweetie. So, uh, when you boog, you tell that good for nothin’ politician ‘You want me to play by your rules? You’ll have to come and make me!’ And then you get to fightin’ when the feller tries to make you-”

“Shed’s open!”

“-And if everythin' goes alright, the politician gives up and leaves you alone. Anyways, let’s get the equipment.”

“...Applejack?”

“Yes, Big Mac?” Applejack turned to Big Mac, who simply pointed to the gun rack in the shed, which was decidedly empty, except for one older, wooden rifle.

“Eenope!”

“Huh, that ain’t right,”

Applejack turned back towards the house. “Granny, do you know where the boogaloo gear is?”

“Yes, I do! I gave it away, dearie!”

“WHAT? Why?”

“Well, dearie, this nice young ali-whasit came to visit while you were gone. Asked if we had any firearms in the house, and I said yes! She took them for a 'civil for fit er' or somethin' and left!”

“Granny! You’re not supposed to do that! You’re supposed to say that we lost them on a boatin’ trip in the Everfree!”

“Well, dearie, you know that lyin’ just ain’t the Apple way. Besides, there no water deep enough in the Everfree to boat in! It’s all shallow swamp water!

“...There’s a river, I guess? It’s not like Twilight would know!... Why did she leave the wooden one, by the way?”

"She said something about it not being 'black and scary', dearie. Anyways, ain’t your greatgranpappy's rifle enough?”

“Probably not grannie, it’s a bit old!”

“Hey! Don’t go insulting your greatgranpappy's rifle. It won two griffon wars!”

“Sure granny, keep tellin’ yourself that!”

Applejack sighed and turned back to the others. “Stupid purple teleportin' bitch, pulling a fast one on me... Anyways, since we’re a little short on equipment, I guess I’ll have to work with the ol’ lasso. And since Big Mac has the most experience with the- *COUGH* FUDD *COUGH* rifle, he’ll make use of that,”

“Eeyup!”

Applejack turned to the crusaders, “As for you fillies, you’ll be doing something a little different!”

“Wait, we don’t get to have anything?” Apple Bloom complained.

“Well, fillies, Children and guns are simply a bad idea. Your average firearm is too unwieldy for a typical child to operate in a safe and effective manner,”

Sweetie Belle jumped in, “Hey! We aren’t that clumsy! We can handle ourselves! Mostly!”

“Yeah! Our last accident was over three days ago! Three! Days!” Scootaloo contributed.

“Hold your horses, you two, I ain’t finished! Children are better suited to crew served weapons. The semi-stationary characteristic of such a weapon relies less on the child’s physical strength and stamina and also builds teamwork,”

“... What does that mean, sis?”

Applejack smiled, “Well, fillies, remember that fireworks catapult you made for the Summer Wrap-Up?”

“...I think so? I think we hit a gazebo,” Sweetie Belle pondered.

“And remember how I said I dismantled the catapult after it took down that gazebo?”

Scootaloo smiled, “Oh yeah! Taking down that gazebo was awesome!”

“Well, I may have lied about that one. Just like YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WITH THE GUNS IN THE SHED, GRANNY!”

“DAMMIT, APPLEJACK! TWO GRIFFON WARS!”

Applejack declined to respond, as she knew Granny Smith would most likely never change her fudd ways, however well-meaning she may be. With a sigh, she returned her attention to the Crusaders. “Anyways, fillies, the catapult is yours to work with! I’ll get it out of its hiding spot in just a moment”

The Crusaders leapt with joy and cheered:

“Cutie Mark Crusaders: Artillery Crew! Yay!”

Author's Note

Shorter chapter here. The next one is currently turning out longer. And yes, Applejack lied. Blasphemy!

Let me know in the comments what you think about my writing style! Also, tell me what your favorite abusive relationship with Twilight is!