"Ahh...finally done with The Derpy Report now I can finally bandage my fingers."
Owlor got up from his cardboard desk to go and find some adhesive bandages. He quickly gave his hand crank computer a couple of turns before going to his bathroom. He opened his cupboard and grabbed a box of Band-Aids. Opening the box, he dumped them out onto his desk. Owlor was fortunate enough to find a refrigerator box for his desk, so he had plenty of space. He gave his hand-crank computer another couple of turns to keep it going. He opened a few bandages and began placing them on his poor, injured fingers.
Owlor was thankful he had finished duct taping together his office. It was raining outside, and he could see all the other hobos running for cover. His shelter provided some cover, but it was already leaking. Outside his window was the ghetto of Europe. France. He saw people walking about with striped shirts and berets, as well as cigarettes and wine glasses. So evil.
Owlor placed the last bandage on his fingers and heard a "ding" from his computer. He had just gotten a message from an anonymous user. There was nothing but a link in the message that simply said "come see me". Owlor has a medical condition that forces him to click on every link he finds, so naturally he clicked on this one as well.
The link opened up in a new tab. Owlor clicked to the tab, and the tab opened past his computer screen, swallowing him up. Owlor woke up in what looked like a Waffle House bathroom, but it was...different. Owlor had been in many Waffle House bathrooms, yet this one seemed to have smaller toilets. Like they were designed for midgets...Owlor grinned.
"I'M IN MIDGET-LAND!"
Owlor opened the bathroom door and skipped out into the Waffle House, expecting to see tiny people, with tiny hands, tiny legs, and tiny faces. Instead he saw brightly colored ponies. Owlor stopped skipping and his smile fell. He spoke somberly "Aww...I'm in Equestria." Owlor immediately remembered that he liked ponies, and wasn't as sad. He still wished he was in Midget Land, but he would settle for ponies.
All the ponies in the waffle house looked at him strangely. Owlor left them alone, he didn't recognize them from the show, so he wanted nothing to do with them. He left the Waffle House and found himself immediately in a better mood. He figured the Waffle House was making him sad, but now that he was outside, and could breathe clean air, he was happy!
Owlor decided to go for a stroll through Ponyville, since that was the only place in Equestria that a brony could possibly be transported to. Owlor took about three steps and was tackled to the ground. He closed his eyes, expecting to be brutally murdered, but then he realized it was probably Pinkie Pie, ready to welcome him.
Owlor opened his eyes in relief, and gazed upon, not Pinkie Pie, but instead, Derpy Hooves. She wrapped her arms around him and spoke.
"Hiya Owlor!"
"You know me?"
"Of course silly, I sent you the message!"
"You did? But why?"
"I read your story and I really liked it and I really wanted to meet you!"
Owlor was happy for the praise. He noticed something odd, though. Derpy was wearing a schoolgirl outfit. Owlor decided to ask.
"Derpy, why are you wearing that?"
"Oh, after reading the story, I decided I'd need to figure out all the things that you liked, and this was one of them!"
"What were the others?"
"Oh, just boring stuff. Long walks on the beach, reading, writing, staring at the sunset."
"Did you read my eHarmony profile?"
"Yeah!"
"Oh. Okay then. So you've met me. Now what?"
"We have sex for no reason at all!"
"OKAY!"
Derpy took him back into the Waffle House. Owlor was so excited, Derpy was his favorite pony, and now she could be his extra special somepony! He followed her all the way to the Waffle House bathroom, getting a slight feeling of deja vu, like he had sex in the Waffle House bathroom before, but he ignored it, focused almost entirely on the gorgeous plot of a certain mare.
The door opened with a creak and the noxious fumes of the Waffle House bathroom leaked out into the air. Owlor choked for a moment, but persevered for the love of Derpy. She led him in and locked the door behind them, sliding an "out of order" sign under the door. Derpy circled the center of the bathroom.
"Come to me, Owlor."
Owlor stripped off all his dirty hobo clothes as quickly as possible. Derpy slowly undressed, leaving on a pair of striped pink panties. Panties with a significant bulge. Owlor winced for a moment, seeing where this was going, but still removed the panites. Derpy had a penis. A large penis. Much larger than Owlor's. Owlor sighed as he said
"Do I have to be the mare?"
Derpy looked at him with anger "Yes, of course you have to be the mare."
Owlor cried a little bit as he exposed his tiny anus. It was like a mouse's anus, so tight. Derpy looked a bit upset.
"Owlor. That isn't going to fit."
"I know. It is my one shame."
"I have a solution."
"Oral?"
"No."
Derpy turned him around, looking into his face. She impaled his eye with her penis and began skullfucking Owlor. Owlor couldn't think anymore, since his brain was getting crushed by a horse dick. Owlor whimpered pathetically and let Derpy do her business. He bled a lot and began to lose consciousness.
Yep, Owlor died in the bathroom. Blood pooled, mixing with pony spunk and bits of brain. And also my vomit. My vomit is there too. Disgusting. I had chinese for dinner, and that does not look appealing.
Derpy was a little sad about Owlor dying. She heard her I-pone ring and saw a new e-mail. Somepony had just finished writing a fanfic about her. Derpy knew just what to do. She left Owlor's disgusting, semen covered, dirty, bloody, hobo body in the bathroom after she washed her hooves. She had to wait a bit before leaving, since she didn't want her dick to drag along the ground.
After going completely soft, Derpy sat on a bench outside the Waffle House and began reading "Owlor Gets Some" by a mister Overdonefictions...
(Oh god. it loops. What have I done?)
Derpy finished on Overdonefictions' dead body. She didn't even talk to him. She just cut off his head with a chainsaw and came all over his body. She couldn't think of why she didn't really care about meeting him, but he didn't seem like an interesting fellow anyways.
Derpy got another e-mail. This time it was a story about her having sex with Owlor. Odd. She sent the user the link, and waited.
********
"Ahh yes. I'm going to have Owlor tear up that gorgeous gray plot *slurping noises*"
Lucy looked around his not-that-bad looking room in his not-that-bad looking house. It didn't look bad. The walls weren't painted, and the carpet was beige, but Luce had hung a poster of Freddy Mercury above his bed, so all was good. Luce turned back to his story, getting ready to add on the finishing touches.
Lucefudu got a message before he even finished writing the story. A message from an anonymous user. Lucy checked the message, containing a link. The link was so tempting, the text displaying "click here for free cookie!" he just couldn't help but click it.
Luce heard a noise and saw his disk tray had opened. Inside the tray was a cookie! Luce quickly picked up the cookie and was suddenly teleported!
Luce found that he had lost his cookie, but had arrived in what looked to be a Waffle House bathroom. Luce had a bad feeling, considering that Owlor's dead body lay on the floor, and he remembered what happened last time he was in a Waffle House bathroom. He decided he should just leave that there, so he left.
Outside the bathroom, Luce walked up to the counter, manned by a pony, and ordered some loaded hash browns. Luce went and sat at a sticky table, since that was the best table he could find, and waited for his hash browns. They were brought to him by another pony along with a plastic fork. Lucy thanked the pony and took his hash browns.
Lucy was aware he was in Equestria, but he wasn't surprised. He knew he would be chosen to be transported there one day, and now it had happened. He looked outside and saw Derpy Hooves, as well as the dead body of Overdonefictions. She waved at him, dropped a chainsaw, and then flew off. He saw her dick and thought "I knew it." and then continued eating his hash browns.
A loud, mechanical, noise sounded from outside. Lucy looked out the window and saw Derpy in a tank. Luce made a face and Derpy grinned at him. Then Luce exploded. Derpy came. The end. YAY!
