The Magicless Adventures of Anon

Near Sweet Apple Acres, the familiar sound of ~Thump~ reverberates at a steady pace. Any creature who lives within ear shot can tell that it is time again for harvest. Usually, the trees are being bucked and the rhythmic pace becomes background noise for most with time. However, the pace and rhythm seem to be off this morning. Additionally, yet somewhat quieter and not as regular, a new sound can be heard accompanying the bucking. A ~Thwak~ sound can be heard.

You are Anon, and you are drenched in sweat. The heat of your raging muscles, the sweat stinging your eyes slightly, and the bruises on your arms and shoulders from falling fruit. When you were asked to help harvest the apples as your ‘Date’ with Jacks; this is not what you had in mind. You thought you would be manually picking any apples left after they were bucked. How naïve you were.

You were handed a pair of thick gloves and a helmet, made by Rares. Then you were given a stick that looks like a mix between a club and a baseball bat by Twi. Apparently, the gloves and bat are ‘traditional minitour’ apple harvesting tools. When you tried to negotiate into picking any straggling fruit, you were laughed at. They weren’t trying to be mean, but the idea that Jacks would miss some was just that absurd to them.

So here you are, trying your best to not look ridiculous, as you swing your bat into an apple tree several times to get all the fruit you can. Then, you manually pick the rest as fast as you can. Compared to Jacks, you are clearing about 1 tree for every 8 she clears. But you’re just happy that the trees aren’t yelling at you for hitting them with a fallen comrade or something. You wouldn’t have been surprised to learn the trees were magic too in this world.

“Few, working up a fine sweat there partner!” Jacks says as she fans herself with her signature hat.

You look over as you fight off hyperventilation, to see Jacks has a slight sheen to her fur but otherwise looks fine. Your regular cardio workouts and the frequent water breaks are likely the only thing keeping you standing. As the muscles you don’t usually use burn, you are once again reminded of Jacks’ incredible strength.

“S-Sorry if I’m ~Hah~ S-slowing you down… ~Huff~ but yeah, ~haf~ this is quite the workout.”

“Don’ mind t’ nun, Sugarcube! Tai’t often we get an extra hand round here. Ur do’n great ta not keel over after 4 ‘ours!”

“T-Thanks… ~hahaha~ … ~Hueww~ Wait, it’s only been f-four hours!” You honestly thought it was almost dusk, until you looked up. To your dismay the sun was just arriving overhead.

“Don’ you fret nun. I promised Twi I wouldn’ break yah. ~Hehe~ so I’ll have you carry bushels O apples t’ the wagon ‘til lunch is ready in ‘n ‘our.”

With this you decided… You’re sticking with your day job! You’ll help if absolutely needed, but you’d honestly have to rebuild your entire musculature to survive working with Jacks regularly.

After an hour that felt like 5, you are allowed to rest as you slowly walk back to the farmhouse next to Jacks.

“I’m gunna bring these here t’ the storag’. You go on ‘n help set th’ table.”

“A-Alright, ~Huff~ will do…” If you make it that far before collapsing, you think to yourself.

As you slowly drag your tired form towards the house, you see Big Mac already waiting on the porch. He looks at you, closes his eyes for a few seconds, then opens his eyes and nods to you. You aren’t sure why, but you have a feeling he made up his mind about something. You try not to stiffen and act as naturally as you can as you force a smile and wave to him.

Big Mac nods again, looks over at the direction of the storage before standing up and going inside. It may have been your imagination, but you think you almost saw the smallest semblance of a smile on his face as he left. You hope that’s true.

You make your way inside and by the time you get to the door, Jacks is already next to you. She opens the door for you, and shouts at the same time.

“Me ‘n Anon are back fer Lunch! … Go on in Sugarcube, they won’ hurt ya.”

You honestly were less intimidated before she did that, but oh well. You steel your nerves and walk in.

“Howdy, Mr. Aynon!” A yellow and red head sticks around the corner as you enter and start taking off your dirt covered boots on the mat.

“Hi Applebloom. I’ll be over to help with the table after I wash my face and hands.”

“Speakin’ of, did you wash up ‘fore entern’ Bloom.” Jacks calls over.

“I an’t a filly no more! See, all cleaned and dried!” She shows her cleaned hooves then stomps off in a little tizzy. She still looks like a filly to you, but you keep that to yourself.

You were wondering how Jacks and the ponies were going to avoid tracking dirt when they did not wear boots. You guess you learn something new every day.

After you get clean, you help set what’s left to put on the table and take your seat as instructed. The others finish bringing in the last pieces of the feast of apple products.

The meal is good. If a little odd. You honestly would not have thought up an apple salad were a large half apple was carved out into a bowl and you eat the salad and bowl together. It kind of reminds you of an odd variation of a taco bowl, but a sweet salad rather than taco.

With every variation of apples, you have seen and some you have never seen before all made into dishes, you were getting lost in the meal.

“Now tha’s what I like ta see! Most yugguns an’t able ta put away food like Mac ‘r AJ. But ya given um a run for thr’ lunch! Hehe!”

“Ga-Granny! Don’ go teasin’ Anon, ev’n if ya’r happy he’s enjoyen th’ grub…”

“I an’t meanin’ no harm! An’ you don’ go snappen at your Granny cuz yur embarrassed.”

“…Sorry Granny…”

You hear Applebloom snicker.

You swallow your mouthful of mashed apples and cinnamon sauce. While internally debating how it is not thick apple sauce but more a sweet alternative to mash potatoes and gravy. Before interjecting, “I can’t help but eat so much Granny. With such tasty and creative uses for apples, I have to try all I can fit. Thank you all for having me and letting me enjoy this meal with you.”

“Ya hear that! Aynon don’ mind! Hehehe, an’ he even likes ur cookin’! He’s a keeper! Hahahehee!”

“Yup.” Big Mac adds then continues to eat.

The rest of the meal goes by with light conversation, but mostly eating, until you are all stuffed. Granny even promised you some round, juicy, apple buns that you could take home and saver. For some reason, Jacks was hiding her face with her hat and looking away more and more as the meal winds down and Granny was laughing more often.

“Now AJ, be a deary and help bloom wash t’ dishes, please.”

“’Yes, Granny.’” Jacks and Bloom get up and start taking the plates to the kitchen.

“I can help too.” As you start to get up, “No need, Deary. Ya ‘r our guest a’ honor. You just sit n talk ta old Granny here.”

“O-Okay, thanks.”

Granny starts to tell you a story about how the Apple family and Pie family are related… until all the plates are off the table and Jacks and Bloom were out of the room.

In a quiet voice, “~Hew~… alrighty… I see how she stares at ya. Hehe, N’ I know ya ain’t blind. I see how ya look back... Withn’ how ya not reactin’ ta the pheromones she be releasin’ at ya, all the time. I was haf sur ya both was gonta break how a foal was due soon, when ya came ta day. Tho Twi told me tha’ nose is mor’ fer decorating ya hansome face, I thought, ain’t no male smell so little. Now tho, I reckon tis the truth. She ain’t with foal, is she?”

Well, this just got serious. Time to force yourself awake out of the threatening food coma. You start to try to wake yourself up and sit straight while digesting the words. The whole time, Big Mac is staring at you.

“N-No Mam! I have not.. done that with Ja-Apple Jack.”

Granny and Big Mac nod.

“Figured, ya seem to be t’ type ta go about cortin’ all proper. Is good ta make ‘er chase some. But, ta be certain. What ar’ your intentions with AJ? Are ya waitin for a blessin’ for ya let ‘er in tha herd?”

“I-I’ll be honest; besides, I think lying to an Apple is a poor plan regardless. This is a date and, if it goes well, I plan to offer her some more dates then eventually offer her a spot in my herd.

I don’t know what being in a herd means to you or your family, but I will tell you what it has come to mean to me. I will do what I can to support her, when she needs help and even if she doesn’t, I will be there for her. I also hope she will do the same for me. She will become a part of my family, and I will love her and care for her as if she were a part of me. I will expect her and all my herd to try to work together to make our lives better. I know it is a lot, and feelings may someday change. We may have disagreements, we may get mad, but at the end of it all… I hope our love will bring us through. I hope we can grow our family, my family and herd, together.”

Granny slowly looks at Big Mac then back to you before saying, “Yup, you’re a good’n. Mac’ll take care O the farm with his new wifey. AJ can work if’n she wants, but don’t feel obliged. Ya have ma blessin.” Big Mac nods, “Yup, we care for our Kin.” That sounds like an assurance of acceptance, but also a slight threat, to take care of AJ if we get together.

“I’m glad she fon’ a good herd. Now we don’ hav’ ta keep shipin’ Mac ta Appleloosa e’ry heat season! Hehehe”

You thought she was joking until you saw Big Mac shiver from the corner of your eye. Oh… you had better warn Twi. You may need her guidance to help prevent a tragedy.