The Magicless Adventures of Anon

You’re not entirely certain why you agreed to this.

Sure, the promise that Eris, Discord in female form, would stop trying to get into your bed and maintain proper friend distance if this doesn’t work out may have helped. But honestly, it was likely the giant pleading eyes of Flutters nearly giving you an aneurysm through adorability that finally got you to relent to the date.

You were going to be on a date with both Flutters and Eris today. They told you to dress casually and that there would be a little dirty part. Not that kind, but literal dirt. They noted to bring a change of clothes to change out of as cleaning you with magic may or may not work.

So here you are, standing in front of Flutters cottage. You would have thought it would be smaller when you first saw it, then you remembered the bear that visits frequently. It’s just after sunrise, and you have a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a finger-paint drawing of a miniature giant space hamster in the other. It was the most random gift you could think of, and you went out of your way to add a jetpack.

Before you can knock, you see a big sign in neon letters appear before the door. “Out Back” it read, and it smelled of fried onions for some reason.

Shrugging, you make your way to the back yard. There, you see Flutters and Eris. It seems Eris chose to look particularly curvaceous today and reminded you of a certain rabbit’s wife, but with fur, animal bits and a tail added on. Not ugly, and had a certain charm, but it definitely caused chaotic and contradictory feelings to well up within you, on seeing her.

“Oh dear! Anon, Are those for us? They’re my favorite flavor!” Flutters says as she puts down a bucket of seeds and flutters over to you.

“Yep! Thought I would put my best foot forward.” You say as you move your right foot forward. Lefty knows what he did to be second best.

“~Hehe~ Oh Anon, they’re lovely! Right Eris?”

Eris shyly walks over, then looks at the flowers. She seems nervous then notices the fine scroll you have in your other hand.

“This one is for you Eris. I figured flowers wouldn’t … match your style?”

She takes the scroll and undoes the seal with a snap of her claw. She looks it over inquisitively, tilts her head and raises and eyebrow, before realization seems to strike. “Boo! ~Hahaha~ With a jetpack no less! Thank you, Anon! I particularly like the spaghetti sauce stain in the right corner you decided to add a smiley face to!” She looks genuinely happy with your weird sense of humor and human jokes. It brings a smile to your face.

“I’m glad you both like your gifts. So, what’s on the agenda for today?”

“Well, first we are going to feed the animals!” Flutters chimes in.

She places down her gift and retrieves a bucket of hay for you.

“Which ones is this for?”

“The bunnies and guinea pigs. They live in that hutch over there.”

“Huh, I thought they would eat carrots, like I see Angel do.”

“Oh no, the guinea pigs do need fresh veggies that contain vitamin C, but carrots are more like snacks for both them and the bunnies. Angel has a bit of a sweet tooth, and I constantly worry about balancing out Angel’s nutrition. I keep having to lock up the carrots lest Angel have gut and teeth issues. Please let me know if you see that happen again.”

“Sure thing!”

The feeding seems to go by without many issues.

You do see Eris turn a snake that hissed at her into a balloon animal for a few seconds when Flutters isn’t looking. But you choose to ignore it as she changes it back.

Still, while some of the animals acted like animals from Earth, you get the uncanny feeling that a few are acting dumb or cute to get more handouts. At first it was a little creepy, but they were just using what they naturally had to their advantage. Eventually, the cute eyes worked, and you noticed you had given the cuter ones a larger pile of food. Cute-based evolution could be a thing in magic pony land.

After feeding the animals you all have pancakes and waffles for breakfast in Flutter’s cottage.

Eris makes a mean breakfast, even made it from scratch with non-conjured ingredients. None of it fazed through your jaw on to the table!

“So, what’s next on the agenda?”

“Actually, we were planning a little shopping trip first.”

“Then, we are going to watch a movie! Dungeons and Draconequus just came out recently!”

“Yes, as Eris said, we are going to relax while watching a movie. We also have a surprise for you later tonight. Look forward to it.” Flutters says then giggles behind her hoof as she flies into a side room.

“Don’t worry big guy, I think you’ll like it. Now go change and we can head out.” Eris winks at you, then follows flutters and shuts the door. You take the opportunity to change in the bathroom.

With the sun slowly inching across the sky and the gently drifting clouds of the morning, you take your time enjoying the scenery and the smiles of your dates.

Your dates are wearing light yellow and blue matching sun dresses with alternate daisy patterns. Flutters elected for a weaved straw hat and Eris let her hair grow down and blow gently yet chaotically in the shifting summer breeze. While you are wearing a collard light cotton navy blue shirt, jeans, and mismatched socks. You literally threw all of your clothes in a pile and got dressed in the dark before asking Twi if it was unpresentable. It only took you 3 tries to get something that was random but not a horrifying mess.

After a short walk to the market, you all start shopping for ingredients to make some meals as well as a few snacks for the movie.

You and Fluttershy decided to have salads of fruit and vegetables for dinner. In separate bowls much to Eris’ chagrin. So, you promised to let her mix them on her own plate if desired and she got to choose some of the snacks for the evening. She chose skittles, trail mix, and vegetable egg rolls. Though Eris really didn’t pick the snacks as much as set up a random game to choose them. She literally summoned a spinning dartboard with pictures of snacks and had flutters throw darts. It was kind of adorable.

After you got back to Flutter’s cottage, you all helped prepare the food and had a quick dinner. Then you all changed back into your dirty outfits one last time to give dinner to the animals that needed it. After helping with the animals, you showered and changed in the upstairs bathroom as instructed by Fluttershy and Eris. They apparently used magic to get cleaned and change quickly, so they had time to set up the living room for movie night.

As you walked down the slightly creaking wooden stairs, you saw the edge of the sun setting through the window as you made your way to your hosts.

‘“Surprise!”’ they shout in unison. They are both naked, which of course is their normal state. The difference is in the room. It looks like they moved all the furniture except the large couch out of the way and all the animals were nowhere to be seen. There was an old fashion reel projector and a standing tripod screen.

“Thanks, both of you! This looks lovely, and so do my hostesses.” You give your most award-winning grin TM and they only giggled a little while blushing! Good job so far!

Fluttershy hovers over and gently guides you to the couch.

“J-Just wait there and Tr-try to keep an… um, open mind, okay?” Adorable!

“Yeah, um, no prob?”

Fluttershy moves back in front of the screen beside Eris. They look at each other then nod with serious faces before looking at you.

“This will be,” “Our true surprise!”

They step slightly farther apart than before, then look at each other once more, before staring at you.

Suddenly, they jut out their front limbs to the sides, then start taking steps closer to each other as they begin to say something.

‘“Fuuuuu…”’ they rotate their limbs in a semicircle as they grow closer, ‘“..uuu-Sion!”’ They are quickly on a single leg as their front limbs swap sides, ‘“NYA!!!”’. Finally, they lean together and… make fake cat ear with their hooves/ hands?

There is a bright flash of light, so you cover your eyes.

After a few seconds, your eyes readjust to the darkness of the room. Before you, sits Fluttershy, only…with horns and mismatched eye colors? Eris is gone when you look around as well.

“So, Anon, what do you think?”

“I’m sorry, the brain you are trying to contact has just crashed, please attempt later.”

“Hehe, Oh Anon, always the kidder!”

“Y-yeah, kidding…” you narrow your eyes and pinch yourself to try and reassure yourself you are awake.

“So, you both in there? How’s that even work?”

“Ooh-hoho! Great question!” One of, her? Their? You don’t know, ask later brain! Horns turn into a mini claw and snaps.

The projector turns on and an image of Fluttershy appears. Then an image of Eris pops up and they do their dance. Then the image changes to them combined as they are now but with an overlay of Eris and Fluttershy heads floating behind them. There is a number of small twinkling strings attached to their head.

“So, you know how we, that is to say both of us, wanted to let Eris be able to actually touch you? Well, we worked with all the Princesses and Pinky to come up with a way to make that happen! This is what we came up with! We called it Combined Unification Magic!”

“Wait, doesn’t that spell-“ They put a hoof over your mouth, “Yes! And we Love that you got that so fast! Hehe”

You gently move their hoof away, “Okay, so…Magic… Got it. But how does you two ‘cumbining’ achieve that goal?”

“Simple, my dear Anon! Eris can feel anything we touch! And as a bonus! We just confirmed it! Hahaha!”

“You, you both felt that? Eris can feel me?”

“Oh, YES!” They wink at you.

“Oh, th-that’s great! But are you sure that this is safe.”

They look at you a little sad, then look up lovingly. “Just like you to worry about us, and yes, we did many tests. This is safe for both of us, and we both understand and consent to this. The spell is set that either of us can undo it at any time. If we wanted, we could even take turns in control. This is what we wanted Anon, but we will only move forward if you are okay with this.”

You sigh in relief, “Of course, I am a bit surprised. However, I would like to give us a chance to explore what this means for all of us. If you are all certain this is safe, I would like to get to know you both more.”

“Great! Thanks Anon! You won’t regret this! HeheHa!”

They jump onto the couch next to you. Then, seem to hesitate to get closer.

“It’s okay, come here.” You say as you pat the spot closest to you then raise your arm.

For a moment, their faces switch between eager and shy rapidly. Finally, it settles on a bashful small smile. Then they slowly crawl closer before cuddling into your side and nuzzling your arm. Then they take a seat gently pressing against you but looking away nervously. You note the blush and smile on their face, right before you hear a snapping sound. The projector starts and pulls some of your attention away.

The movie was rather funny with the overweight Draconequus and an interesting portrayal of magic.

As the final credits pass the screen, your partner for the evening looks up at you. They lean in close and give you a small peck on the cheek before whispering, “Thank you, Anon. This was an amazing evening.”

“I had fun, you have a real flare for this sort of—”

~Poof~ “That’s it! FLER!” “Spelled with the Fl of my name and Er of yours!” “We can pronounce it like ‘Flare for the amazing’” “’Hehehehe!”’

They both are sitting next to each other on the couch. Then they both look at you simultaneously, ‘“Call us Fler when we combine!”’, “I-If you don’t mind that is…”

“Sure Flutters, Eris. I will try my best to remember that. Hehe, it’s nice to meet you, Fler!”