The Road to Healing

Chapter 1: The Start of Madness

Duskfall awoke to the sound of the TARDIS’ brakes protesting their misuse. She opened her eyes just in time to catch the familiar blue box fade out of existence completely. Duskfall shook off the last vestiges of unconsciousness and looked around. It was nowhere she recognized and there was a weight of saddlebags on her back. She decided to see what The Doctor had left for her.

A pen, some paper, a few notepads, a regular paper journal, a canteen, and what looked to be some kind of money. There was also a note with Celestia’s Cutie Mark on the outside. She opened the note and started to read.

“Duskfall, much to my regret, we could not keep you on Equuis in your current state. Instead, you are now on a world where you are free to follow your twisted desires for as long as you feel the need to do so. The Doctor and I will return for you when the time is right. Until then, know that I love you.”

A world where she was free? Well, it wasn’t Equuis, but that could come in time. She could use this as a proving ground! Duskfall would show Celestia how much happier everyone would be if they could vent their frustration, sexual and otherwise, on a real pony! It would only be made easier with her body being female. It was so much easier to meaningfully rape a mare than a stallion, the penetration into her currently virgin pussy so much more visceral.

It was a good thing she wasn’t planning on living long enough to get pregnant. Nothing would get in the way of Duskfall’s plans faster than having to take care of a foal. She may hate herself, but that was no reason to take it out on an innocent baby.

Still, if The Doctor and Celestia thought this world would be more accommodating to her desires that probably meant it was at least Detroit levels of scum. Time for an experiment! Would the things she put in her personal magic pocket dimension stay there after she died or would they all come tumbling out into the real world again? She placed all the items The Doctor and Celestia had given her in the pocket dimension, except the saddlebags. They were reasonably well made and perfect for luring in a mugger if she placed some rocks in them to make it seem like they were full.

Once she had collected the rocks, she line-of-sight teleported to the town in the distance. Already her heart was pounding a little harder in her chest. It was a foolish, futile gesture of trying to keep her alive as she sought out the first of her hopefully many deaths.

Duskfall wondered briefly if her Alicorn body would attract attention. Then she dismissed the thought. If her body did attract extra attention, then that was so much the better for her plans, wasn't it? An Alicorn of 20 years old was sure to tickle at least a few fancies.

Duskfall purposefully walked directly into the dirty back alleys, doing her best to act like a lost tourist. A scrap of paper she could pretend was a map was the only prop she needed. Her efforts were soon rewarded with the feeling of a gun pressed to her head.

“Give me the saddlebags and no one gets hurt, pony,” A voice that sounded like he had been smoking straight out of the womb demanded.

“No, I don’t think I will,” Now her heart was really pounding. This was great!

“You think I’m playing games?!” The man demanded. Duskfall couldn’t quite tell his species from the gloom. He was too bipedal to be a pony. He was too short to be most humans. A Sontaran, perhaps? This was an extra thrill, being killed by an alien! Duskfall turned her head so she could get the barrel of the gun directly in her mouth.

“Go on, shoot me you pussy. Take what you want!” Duskfall egged her attacker on.

“Good idea,” He pulled the trigger.

Duskfall expected to die almost instantly. What happened was so much better. She could somehow feel her brain matter splattering against the nearby wall, the bullet passing through and shattering her skull. Oh God, it felt so good! She could still feel the gore that had been her brain dribbling down to the ground. It was absolute bliss! Her heart was slowly stopping, her muscles going weak, and her ability to think quietly leaving her. The rest of her body was catching up with the fact that she was already dead. Just before the end, she experienced an orgasm that shattered what little mind she had left.

Duskfall gasped for air. A quick hoof to the back of her head confirmed that her body was whole once more. She had no idea how long it had taken her to revive, but it was night now. That didn’t tell her much without knowing when she had arrived on this planet and how long the day/night cycles were. Her saddlebags were gone, of course, but a quick check of her pocket revealed that things did indeed stay put after death. That was quite useful, but Duskfall had a more pressing concern. She had to die again.

If dying was that orgasmic every time then Duskfall wondered how Celestia, Luna, and Cadence stopped themselves. Of course, it was entirely possible different deaths offered different levels of pleasure. Even if getting her brains blown out was the absolute best way to die, which Duskfall doubted, she could easily acquire a gun of some kind and happily spend some of her time shooting herself. Duskfall was addicted.

Still, dying was only half of what she was supposed to be doing. Unless her attacker had practiced a bit of necrophilia after she had expired, her pussy was still virgin. It was time to start learning how to be a proper cum dump and all around best sex toy she could be.

Duskfall returned to the main roads and saw she was absolutely spoiled for choice as to who she wanted to pop her cherry. Mares and stallions and aliens of every kind were walking down the streets. Well, as eager as Duskfall was to have sex with an Asari and maybe get lucky and find an Ardat-Yakshi, she overruled the male part of her libido and started focusing on the males. She would be an equal opportunity slut later. For her first time she felt like being a little greedy and having her tight little pussy stretched out by a meaty cock.

Although, that raised an interesting question, what state exactly would her body return to after death? It wasn’t outside the realm of possibility that, no matter how many cocks she got fucked by she’d remain as tight as a virgin, provided she died regularly, which wouldn’t be a problem. The thought of having her cherry popped over and over by everything with a dick got her hot and bothered.

She made no effort to hide her arousal. She was sure she looked silly on her back with her legs spread and vagina exposed to the night air just begging for cock, but it was the best she knew how to do. Duskfall was just about to fall asleep on the side of the road when rough hands snatched her up.

“Don’t you know lying like that is dangerous, little pony?” He looked to be human, with sandy blonde hair and a five o’clock shadow. He was skinny, almost to the point of looking underfed. Duskfall wasn’t feeling particularly picky, anything with a cock and a pulse would do, but she could have done much worse for her first time. The hunger in his eyes belied the kindness of his words.

“I’m sorry, mister. I’m just a bad filly who needs a good cock,” Duskfall nearly choked on how cliché the words were, but they seemed to have the desired effect. A predatory grin bloomed on the man’s face.

“I think I can help you with that if you follow me back to my place,” Duskfall was sure he intended to sound smooth. Duskfall humored the man.

“Oh, are you going to fill me up with cum, mister?” Duskfall asked in her best cutesy voice.

“What a filthy mouth. I suppose I’ll just have to fuck some better manners into you~” He growled. Duskfall shuttered with pleasure. ‘Yes, treat me more like a worthless cock sleeve!’ she wanted to scream. That would have to come later. She didn’t know if voicing such a thing would scare him off or not. Probably not, but she wasn’t of a mind to risk it. Her pussy was already wet and her core hot with desire.

Duskfall eagerly followed the man back to a slightly rundown apartment building. It was the sort of building that was just showing its age, cheap but perfectly comfortable lodging. The apartment she was led to was a one room affair, but really, so long as the bed didn’t collapse in a heap that was all that mattered. Well, even if it did collapse, Duskfall was sure that would matter very little in a minute. The man caught her appraising the bed.

“Don’t worry; all the rooms have at least a basic soundproofing ward. We can be as loud as we like,” That saved Duskfall the trouble of having to cast one herself at least. Although to be honest, her head was so muddled with lust she wasn’t sure if she could cast at all. Duskfall hopped onto the bed.

“Your personal sex toy is ready to begin her duties, mister,” Duskfall happily chirped. The man quickly lost his clothes and grinned hungrily as Duskfall’s awaiting purple pony pussy.

“‘Personal sex toy’, huh? Now, how to best enjoy this fleshlight…oh, silly me, it is a fleshlight,” Duskfall nearly came then and there from being referred to as an ‘it’. Due to the size difference between pony and human, what was a slightly above average cock on a human man was definitely big enough to ruin Duskfall’s every hole.

“Beg me for it,” He growled as he placed his erection teasingly on Duskfall’s pussy lips.

“Please fill this fuck toy with your massive man meat and ride it to your heart’s content! It only exists for your pleasure!” The dirty words coming out of her mouth felt so good, but all that was pushed aside as he slowly inserted his cock into her eager marehood.

“Fuck! You’re such a tight little fleshlight!” He said approvingly. Slowly, ever so slowly, his prick was disappearing into her. It was like nothing Duskfall had ever felt before. It was as if she had been starving and was only now, for the first time in her life, starting to feel full. His cock was stretching her out to the limit. Then there was a flash of pain and pleasure as her hymen broke.

“You’re a virgin?” He asked as he spotted the blood trickling down his cock and onto the bed sheets.

“I was,” Duskfall replied cheekily, “Go on, and ram this fuck toy hard! Truly make me a mare tonight!” That was all the encouragement he needed. He pushed forward and Duskfall felt the tip of his cock touch something deep inside her just as he fully hilted. She squealed in surprise and pleasure. She couldn’t help but let out a noise of disappointment as he slowly withdrew.

He reinserted, and then pulled back out, slowly building up speed each time. Duskfall gave herself over to instinct and started thrusting her pelvis to match his skewering her. It took a lot of effort, but she also forced her hind legs to remain open, no matter how much she wanted to clench them. Her efforts were rewarded. With his hands free not having to hold her legs apart he was able to use one hand to play with her teats and the other went to her clit.

The instant he touched her clitoris she screamed as white hot pleasure shot through her and she had her first orgasm of the encounter. Twilight had sworn off masturbation as part of her ‘sex is icky’ campaign and Tom had only gotten himself off once. So she was utterly unprepared for the feeling of having her clit played with as the man settled into his top speed.

She could feel it. His cock was twitching inside her. He was so close to painting her insides white!

“Please mister, fill me with your hot, sticky baby batter!” Duskfall begged. That seemed to push him over the edge. A spasm ran through his body as he hilted one more time and Duskfall felt his cum fill her womb. It was such an amazing feeling she was overtaken by her second orgasm as he finished pumping his seed into her baby maker. It also felt good to have their mixed juices dribbling out of her cunt.

“Hmm, that was the best sex I’ve had in a while. I hadn’t realized how backed up I was,” The man mused as he pulled out of Duskfall’s snatch. Even though he had cum, his cock wasn’t completely flaccid. Duskfall turned herself to offer her asshole to him.

“Please use this toy until you are completely satisfied. Would you like to try my asshole?” Duskfall offered.

“I think I’d rather try another hole first,” He roughly turned her around so she was face to face with his cock.

“Yay! Mister is gonna face fuck me!” She didn’t have to fake her excitement.

“Well, I was just gonna have you give me a blowjob, but I like your idea better,” A quick spell Twilight had learned to stop herself from gagging when taking awful tasting medicine, and Duskfall was ready to have her mouth and throat violated to the man’s content.

He started out slowly, only placing half of his quickly returning to full mast dick in her mouth. Duskfall had to keep her mouth open very wide to keep her teeth from brushing his cock. The very small amount she knew suggested guys didn’t like it when teeth touched penis. Not hearing any protest or feeling any gag reflex, the man allowed himself to fully insert his completely hard rod.

Duskfall felt a thrill as she realized it was impossible to breathe when he had his cock all the way down her throat. Without those silly little survival instincts, she was able to fully enjoy her asphyxiation. Of course, the guy had no idea he was killing her as she looked lustfully up at him. Why would he suspect anything was wrong?

Duskfall’s heart beat harder and harder, wasting the finite air she had left all the faster, until its beating started to slow. Her muscles began to relax. Her vision went hazy until finally, for the second time, Duskfall died.

Like last time, some ghost in the machine persisted after her body perished. Duskfall could still vaguely hear and see and feel, even if that made no sense with all her nerves and brain dead. Her consciousness lasted just long enough for him to ejaculate. The feeling of his cum sliding down her unmoving throat and into her inactive stomach was delicious. Her body was far too dead to orgasm, but the last vestiges of Duskfall’s consciousness felt pleasure all the same. She was almost disappointed as he pulled out, her head flopping lifelessly to the bed.

“Pony? Pony?! Oh fuck!”

The first thing Duskfall noted when she revived was that everything reeked. A quick check of her surroundings made it clear her body had been dumped in some kind of landfill. At least he had taken the effort to bury her in a garbage heap and not leave her where anyone could have found her body. Although Duskfall had to admit that she was disappointed that she hadn’t been able to possibly experience vultures picking away at her flesh. It was something to try and engineer some other time.

Duskfall dug herself out of her trashy tomb and cast a quick deodorizing spell. Then she summoned a pen and notepad, as well as the journal.

Data Log #1

Died twice. Once shot from gun in mouth and once from asphyxiation. I appear to retain consciousness for some time after death. Need to time how long and if there are any factors to increase or decrease this time.

Feeling my brains painted against a wall was intensely pleasurable. Dying of asphyxiation was pleasant in its own ways. I was able to savor the feeling of dying a lot longer. It probably wouldn’t have felt nearly as good if I wasn’t ejaculated into after death and while my consciousness was still around.

Had sex once. No foreplay, my partner just wanted a quick fuck. Went directly for my vagina. Theoretically sex is supposed to be better after foreplay. How that could be possible is a mystery I look forward to solving. During intercourse, I misread the situation presented. He wanted a blowjob and I thought he wanted to simply face fuck me. Upon hearing me say such, he decided to go with the face fuck, for which I am grateful. The face fucking is what led to my second death.

The Journal of Duskfall Sparkle Year 1 Month 1 Day 1

Having been left to my own devices on an unknown world some unknown time in the future by The Doctor and Celestia, I immediately plotted my first death. I very much wish I could have been killed by one of Tom and Twilight’s friends, but I can’t deny there was a certain thrill to being killed by a complete stranger.

The feeling of a bullet going through my brain and the aftermath thereof was one of the most pleasurable things I have ever felt. Not that there's much competition in that regard... the intensity of the orgasm I experienced just before my consciousness vanished post death is something I will always remember.

Reviving is done with little fanfare. I simply wake up as if from a nap and my body is whole once more. It is a little disappointing that I did not get to feel my body put itself back together, but maybe that’s something I can fix later? In any event, I will need to get a stopwatch and kill myself in a number of ways to see how long it takes to revive and if the kind of death matters at all.

After reviving for the first time, I saw it was night time so decided it was as good a time as any to offer up my body for the sexual pleasure of another for the first time. I was honestly about to fall asleep. Either reviving takes some mental stamina or I was simply bored and tired. That is something else that will need to be experimented on. Then someone snatched me up and offered to make me his sex toy…well, maybe not in so many words, but that’s what ended up happening.

Part of me was apprehensive about letting a male stick his dick in me. A part of me was and still is a heterosexual male. By that point, however, I was too drunk on lust to really care and the feeling of his cock entering my pussy was exquisite. It was so big it very nearly didn’t fit. I wonder if I’m a size queen or if it just felt that good because I have no frame of reference?

Whatever the case, I was fucked mercilessly, first in my baby maker and then in my face. His cock was just big enough that I literally suffocated to death on it. I’m really surprised I didn’t orgasm until it was too late for me to do so. Being treated so roughly, used like nothing more than a toy…whoops, there’s that orgasm…

Well, I’m tired so I’m going to find a place to sleep. I’ll figure out how to split my time between dying and being a fuck toy as soon as I figure out things like how long days and nights are and how long it takes me to revive after dying.

The next few days are going to be so much fun!

End of Journal Entry

Author's Note

Duskfall Sparkle

Mental Corruption : 99.9%

Afflictions : Addiction to sex.

Addiction to dying.

Perks : Insanity [100%]

Darkness [15%]

Magic [110%]

Immortality

So... I'm writing shitty porn now...

Don't worry, this all will have a point. Ultimately Duskfall will get her Cutie Mark out of this and I even know what it'll look like. Which is just as well, as I had no clue what I was gonna do about her Cutie Mark before now and was kinda pushing it off until Book 3.

Anyway, this was surprisingly nice to write. It's not so much exorcising personal demons as much as... placating them, I guess? Oh well, we already knew I was fucked up in the head.

Most chapters from here on will be mostly journal entries and data logs with snippets of Duskfall's day to day sprinkled as needed. I'm not sure how long this is gonna go, but I don't imagine more than 15 chapters at absolute maximum.