The Chronicles of Derp: An Unlikely Hero

Derpy Hooves struggled through the Everfree Forest. Derpy still couldn't believe Celestia hadn't told her this before she had made her decision. She tripped on a log and her muzzle slammed into a tree. She swore under her breathe. She couldn't help it. She had to let her anger out. At the princess, at Nightmare Moon at the guard who had given her such a tough time during training. Derpy heard a snap and turned around in a flash to see a dark figure standing in front of her.
"Hello, Derpy Hooves." It said "We've been expecting you." There was a sudden scream and the figure turned into a purple mist and shot at Derpy. She jumped out of the way and the mist slammed into a tree and dissapeared. The worst part of being in the Everfree Forest was the fact that it was night. That was what unnerved Derpy the most. She had no way of telling the time and she didn't know how long night lasted so if Nightmare Moon was behind this then she wouldn't be able to tell that Equestria had fallen into eternal darkness until it was too late. She wasn't sure where she was going either. She was just wandering aimlessly around the forest. She knew it was a bad idea but she wanted to find the elements as fast as possible and get back to her normal life as a mailmare.

Derpy suddenly heard more snaps coming from all directions. She was trapped.
"You can't escape us now, Derpy Hooves." Taunted a voice. Derpy suddenly smelt... it couldn't be...no... it was...
"Muffins!" Derpy exclaimed. She had forgotten all about what Princess Celestia had said. She had given in to temptation.
"Yes, Derpy." Another voice said "Muffins." The figures suddenly came out of the shadows and Derpy ran at the one holding the plate of muffins. The pony suddenly moved to the side and Derpy fell onto the ground.
"You can only have the muffins if you leave the forest. Leave the forest and don't ever come back." The pony said.
"Ok!" Exclaimed Derpy. The pony set the muffins down in front of Derpy.
"Now go!" The pony commanded.
"Let me just eat these muffins first!" Derpy said.
"No!" Shouted another pony. Derpy suddenly looked angry. She got the plate of muffins and started throwing them at each of the ponies.
"WHY THE HELL IS SHE GIVING US MUFFINS!?" Shouted one of the ponies.
"I'M NOT GIVING YOU MUFFINS! I'M ASSAULTING YOU WITH MUFFINS!" Derpy shouted back. The ponies suddenly turned into the purple mist that Derpy had seen earlier. Derpy prepared to jump sideways again but the mist just shot upwards and flew away. Derpy suddenly remembered what the princess had said earlier. She suddenly face hoofed. So she had just assaulted ponies with MUFFINS! She had just used muffins to assault somepony. She couldn't believe herself. She just sighed and walked on.