For the first time in five years, Pinkamena was once more considering what she was going to do once Ultor was no longer a threat to the Saints. From what she had seen of Playa lately, when he wasn’t going around busting heads, he was either painting graffiti or collecting CDs off the ground or playing investor as he bought ownership of many stores in the town.

The fact that one can gain income from buying ownership of small businesses showed one aspect of being a powerful gang leader for Pinkamena. She could also see that painting one’s mark all over the city had advertised the Saints and spread their reputation to everyone who saw it.

What interested Pinkamena about the many rackets that went on in the city was not the rackets themselves but the fact that they were sources of income that a gang needed to run. Playa’s role was to make sure the gang kept running.

Pinkamena wasn’t sure if she was willing to run a gang of her own just yet but that might change in the future if something happened.

For now, the Saints needed to deal with Ultor to ensure that no major force was left in Stilwater who would challenge them.

Pinkamena’s phone rang to show Pierce was calling. “Yeah?” she answered.

“Hey, some Ultor exec came to us for protection. Seems Dex wants him in the grave for some reason. I was wonderin’ if you could get your eagle-lookin’ friend to help.”

“Okay, One, she’s a griffon. Two, her name is Gilda. Three, you really need to learn names or Shaundi’s going to have more ways to show you up.”

“Man, don’t even get me started about Shaundi. Girl’s been takin’ all my hard work and sayin’ it’s her idea.”

“You really shouldn’t be competing with Shaundi, Pierce. I know you’re looking for recognition, but you need to be patient. You’ll find your place in this gang soon enough. Shaundi’s the same in that regard.”

“I guess so. Anyway, could you get Gilda to run aerial escort for our Ultor customer?”

“Sure, she should be there within a few minutes.”

“Thanks.”

Playa defended Eric Gryphon’s limousine from the side of an Oppressor helicopter while Gilda, who had far more freedom of movement than a helicopter, was able to quickly dispatch Ultor vehicles with her RPG. For the vehicles that needed more than one RPG to destroy, like the Bear APCs, she sliced them in two with her nanite claws.

Playa and Gilda tore through several roadblocks along the freeway on the way to the Saints hideout. Playa did have some trouble protecting the limo inside of a tunnel while the supports were getting in the way but Gilda had no problem with that as she flew above the limo and kept the front and rear clear of Masako.

Unfortunately, a Masako sniper got lucky and shot the limo driver and a Masako attack helicopter shot down Playa’s helicopter. Playa bailed out of the vehicle and landed on the freeway.

After Gilda tore apart the Masako vehicles with her claws, Playa found a new Ultor car approaching...which Gilda also tore apart.

“Dammit Gilda, I need one working car so we can get outta here.”

Gilda pointed to the one working Bear APC behind him. Playa looked and facepalmed. Gryphon began to wonder if it was a good idea to entrust his life to the Saints.

Playa and Gryphon boarded the APC and drove the rest of the way to the hideout, after totaling a number of civilian vehicles along the way because Playa didn’t know the meaning of ‘oncoming lane’.

If Gilda weren’t wearing her nanite claws, she would have facetaloned.

Eric Gryphon spent the rest of the weekend under the Saints’ protection. During that time, he told Playa and Pinkamena everything he knew about Dex and possible information that they might be able to use against him.

Once Monday came around, Gryphon returned to the Phillips Building where he was greeted by Dex. After some witty banter which translated to ‘Better luck next time’ from Gryphon and ‘I’ll have you killed yet’ from Dex, Gryphon returned to his duties.

The next evening, Playa was freaking out about what Gryphon was suggesting. The executive was suggesting hijacking a series of trucks carrying toxic waste while facing down an army of Masako who were trying to destroy the evidence. Playa didn’t feel like he could deal with a whole army even if Gryphon was providing support with the people who worked under him. However, he had to admit that there was a certain thrill to ruining Dex while facing an army.

Unfortunately, Pinkamena couldn’t join him for the action, saying that she had something she needed to do while leaving the hideout with Johnny. However, Gilda was available to help Playa in this reckless endeavor.

At the nuclear power plant, Playa drove a large truck designed for carrying toxic waste to one of the pumps to have it filled. While the tank was filling, Masako came in large numbers while Gryphon’s men fought them off.

Gilda performed a series of flybys where she gunned down a number of Masako troops with her SMGs while taking the time to blow up any vehicles that Playa had yet to destroy.

Dex called Playa several times trying to get him to see reason and give up but each of his attempts were responded with quips which caused Dex a lot of frustration.

“How can you stand to be near that inhuman pink beast?” Dex demanded.

“Because she knows how to have fun,” Playa quipped.

“How do you know she isn’t planning to kill you to take the Saints for herself?”

“If I die, the gang’s her problem. Shaundi and Pierce already give me a headache sometimes, she’ll be her headache then.”

Playa finished filling the truck at the second pump before letting one of Gryphon’s men drive it to the dock while Playa defended the trucks from an attack helicopter. Gilda made sure the Masako didn’t get near the waste trucks.

After three waste trucks were delivered, Gryphon thanked Playa and Gilda for the assistance and said that he would present the evidence to his fellow executives to have Dex fired.

“How can you be so calm about this?” Gryphon asked.

“Because everything’s been resolved,” Playa responded.

“You know Dex requested an emergency transfer last night. I would have thought you would be pissed about that.”

“Normally I would, but Pinkamena didn’t take part in that mess last night and around here, that’s a sign of good things.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Hey everyone, we’re back,” said Pinkamena as she and Johnny entered the hideout.

“Hey Mena, Johnny, you two have fun last night?” Playa asked.

Pinkamena nodded. “Yep, we had lots of fun with our newest playmate. Bit of a whiner though.”

Last night...

Dex boarded his plane out of Stilwater. He knew that Playa was after his head and he wouldn’t let him have the chance. He made sure to cover all of his bases. He left no evidence behind that might lead Playa to where he was going. He was determined not to be followed.

The only unknown in his mind and one that would drive him to paranoia due to the fact that one could never be truly prepared for would be Pinkamena. He had no idea how she did it but she seemed like she could beat anyone to her next victim whenever she wanted to kill them. For all he knew, that pony could be on the plane as he thought that.

“You’re a smart guy, Dex,” said a high pitched voice behind him which caused him to tense up and shudder as an icy chill ran up his spine. “Too bad you don’t make smart choices.”

Dex looked behind him and saw Johnny for a split second before a fist slammed into his face, knocking him out.

Dex woke up strapped to a chair in the middle of the aisle. He struggled to break free or rock the chair but found his restraints too tight and the chair bolted to the floor.

“Doesn’t this bring back a familiar memory, Johnny?” asked Pinkamena.

Johnny chuckled, “Yeah, I remember fuckin’ up Angelo on a plane before. The chair thing reminds me of when we fucked up Monroe.”

Dex stopped struggling and glared at his captors. “Johnny and Pinkamena, of course this would happen to me. So whatchu gonna do to me? Break my limbs? Cut me open and choke me to death?”

“Nah, I have a different idea in mind,” Pinkamena said.

Dex’s anger erupted in the form of his words, “Don’t you guys get it? There’s no future in workin’ for a gang. You saw how ineffective the Saints were in keeping the streets free of crime. I made the choice to do something that would bring an end to this gang shit.”

“Yeah, and bring in stronger variations of organized crime. Maybe some Italian mafia would feel tempted to move in. I’m sure the Colombian drug cartels would love moving into Stilwater. I could imagine the Triad would love to move in on the Stilwater market. There is simply too much opportunity in the vice markets to pass on them. Gangs are only taking advantage of the market to make their profits. The markets are something Ultor could never fill because doing so would only lead to bad publicity for the company as a whole.”

“Then the markets are the problem.”

“Maybe. But it’s not something that can be solved by a show of force like your Masako. Ultor isn’t a government. In the end, you’re as shortsighted as Julius.”

“So now you’re gonna kill me like you kill everyone else who gets in your way.”

“Not everyone, just the ones who give me a good reason to kill them; such as you selling out and trying to kill us with your private army. If he weren’t useful, I would have killed Troy a long time ago.”

Pinkamena pulled out a case from a luggage compartment and opened it to reveal parts to a sniper rifle. She stopped responding to Dex’s complaints as she assembled the rifle.

Once the rifle was assembled, Johnny put Dex’s old hat on his head which had a grenade glued to it. The hat was positioned so that the grenade was on his forehead.

“Since you were supposed to be killed by some Ultor assassin named Cypher in the canon, I’m gonna use this sniper rifle in your torture. Remember William Tell? This’ll be the reverse.”

Dex’s confusion turned to pain as Pinkamena fired the first shot and struck his right shoulder. Dex howled in pain as his shoulder bled from the entry and exit wounds.

Pinkamena readied another shot and fired it at Dex’s left upper arm. She chose random targets all over Dex’s body while purposefully avoiding all of the vital organs.

After a few rounds, Johnny asked to fire a few rounds at Dex. Pinkamena gave the rifle to Johnny who pointed the rifle at Dex who was whimpering in pain at that point. Johnny did as Pinkamena did and fired several rounds at Dex’s limbs and a risky shot into Dex’s lower torso. “This is like shootin’ cans at the hideout,” Johnny commented. “Though the assault rifle is more my speed.”

Pinkamena took the next few rounds. One of the shots caused one of Dex’s testacles to rupture.

“Kill me!” Dex screamed. “For the love of God, please stop fuckin’ around and just kill me already!”

Suddenly, an alarm went off in the cockpit. Pinkamena had set the plane to fly in circles around the city and the alarm indicated that they were heading on a collision course with another airplane.

“Johnny, time to go.”

“You remember your parachute this time?”

“Of course, I have to bring one since my landing cushion isn’t here.”

Johnny chuckled, “Just make sure he doesn’t find out you called him that.”

Mere seconds before the two planes collided, Johnny pulled the pin on the grenade on Dex's head before the duo opened the main cabin door and leapt out of the plane. Both deployed their parachutes shortly before they landed in the street.

After removing their parachutes, the two shared a laugh before Johnny spoke, “That was fun. Wanna stop by Freckle Bitch’s before we head back?”

“Sure, I’m buying. I’m feeling a bit generous today after that.”

“In that case, I’m orderin’ the menu, somethin' for the boss, Shaundi and Pierce since they couldn't be here to see that asshole burn.”

Author's Note

For those who never found out how Dex died in the canon, look up the unfinished game, Saints Row: Money Shot.