Pinkamena and Johnny decided to enjoy themselves at a nightclub as a treat to themselves after killing Dex. This was likely to be their last chance to relax before the Saints made the final move to bring Ultor to their knees and claim ownership of the remainder of the city through them.

The duo sat at the bar while enjoying the atmosphere of the club. Pinkamena sat in silence while thinking about what the Saints would do once Ultor was no longer a threat. She preferred not to have a repeat of the five year downtime she experienced while waiting for Playa to wake from his coma.

“So Mena,” Johnny started, already a couple of shots in. “I know you’re from a different world an’ all. What’s it like?”

Pinkamena chuckled bitterly. Remembering her old home brought back some unpleasant memories from her foalhood. “I’ll tell you one thing, that world isn’t for the likes of us. It’s too happy and peaceful in general. It might be a good place if you were planning to retire from being a psychopath. The gender power over there is reversed compared to here and the nation that I came from is ruled by Princess Celestia who is extremely powerful. To give you an idea, she controls the movements of the Sun and Moon from the balcony of her castle.”

“Sounds pretty impressive, but I’m sure she takes to bullets about as well as anyone.”

Pinkamena giggled. “It’s a nice thought but a bad idea at the same time. A Pony like that would be able to control the planet’s climate indirectly. Killing her would fuck the whole planet over; especially if you kill her sister, Princess Luna as well.”

“Wow, sounds like she has your world by the balls.”

“No doubt.”

Before Pinkamena could taste her first shot at the bar, her Pinkie Sense went off. A series of twitches informed the madmare that they were about to be attacked.

Pinkamena pretended that nothing was wrong while diving over the counter and tossing many bottles of whiskey at the door while acting like she was searching for the right bottle. The bottles she tossed shattered, leaving puddles of booze around the door and forming a trail to the bar.

“Mena, what’re you doin’?” Johnny asked.

“Playing arsonist. Got a lighter?”

Johnny was confused about the mare’s actions and words but figured there was a reason behind it so he pulled a lighter out of his pocket.

“Light the stuff on the floor in three…”

Johnny produced a flame from his lighter.

“Two…”

He prepared to toss the lighter.

“One…”

Impacts were heard from the club’s main door before a team of Masako broke it open and started moving in.

“Party Time!”

Johnny realized what the mare wanted and tossed the lighter into the booze trail. The alcohol quickly ignited and quickly engulfed the Masako who entered in flames as their suits caught fire.

When the patrons panicked about the Masako and the fire, they fled through the emergency exit to escape the chaos in the club. Johnny and Pinkamena escaped with the crowd.

Once outside, The duo hijacked one of the Ultor cars and drove away. The Masako spotted them and gave chase.

Johnny pulled out his phone and called Playa. “Hey, you got a second?”

“I can’t talk right now Gat, I’m in the middle of killin’ some assholes.”

“Yeah? I got a couple APCs tryin’ to run my ass down. Listen: if they’re comin’ for us you can bet your ass they’re gunnin for Pierce and Shaundi too....you gotta go check on them. Me and Mena will check on Lin and Donnie.”

“Fuck! I’ll make sure Shaundi and Pierce are alright. Meet back at the hideout so we can start figurin’ how we push back.”

Once the call ended, Johnny tracked the GPS signatures on Donnie’s and Lin’s phones. After a short drive that left a trail of Masako bodies and APC parts on the road, Johnny and Pinkamena found the couple defending themselves. Pinkamena blew up the Ultor vehicles with her party cannon while Johnny gunned down the troops on foot with an assault rifle.

Once the couple was out of immediate danger, the four of them got into the Ultor car and drove back to the hideout, Pinkie once again showing her impressive driving skills.

Playa had just finished clearing the hideout of Ultor troops when Johnny, Pinkamena, Lin and Donnie returned. Everyone gathered around one of the dead troops trying to figure what happened.

“I liked Ultor a lot more when they just made clothes…” Shaundi commented.

“Whatchu do to piss these guys off?” Pierce asked.

“Fuck if I know,” Playa responded.

“Yo, I signed on for killin’ gang bangers, not fightin’ some SWAT team from hell…”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it Pierce, we’ll take care of it…”

“The fuck you mean, ‘don’t worry about it’, these guys are packin’ space-age shit…”

“Is he always this much of a bitch?” Lin asked.

Pierce glared at Lin, “The fuck you say?”

“Shut the fuck up, both of you.” Playa commanded. He inspected the body and found a badge on his person. It looked like it belonged to Ultor’s infamous Pyramid. “Hey Tera, your old workplace called, looks like they wanna fuck us up now.”

“Does this mean we can finally go after Ultor?” Tera asked. “If you are, I wanna watch that Pyramid burn.”

“If you can handle yourself in a fight, you can come along.”

Tera pulled a shotgun from one of the weapon crates lying around, loaded it up with buckshot and cocked it. It didn’t prove anything but Playa didn’t care at this point. If the scientist slash porn star wanted to get herself killed, it was her problem.

Johnny started calling his contacts for information on Ultor and found some promising info. He informed the Saints that some Ultor executives were meeting at the Rounds Square Shopping Center with minimal security.

Pinkamena jumped at the opportunity and went to the underground shopping mall with Playa.

While the two scoured the mall for the executives, Pinkamena noticed the still present burn marks from when Treehugger torched The General.

Playa gunned down two of the executives while Pinkamena sliced through two more while leaving her signature gore scene where her victims were.

The duo found out that the remaining executives were in a conference room at the bottom floor of the mall. While Playa was trying to get there with ATVs that he kept crashing, Pinkamena used her more reliable hooves to get to the conference room.

The security in the room was far from enough to slow the madmare as she painted the room red while slaying each executive and security guard in as many different ways that she could think of at the time.

Playa finally made it to the conference room in time for Pinkamena to walk out of it while covered in blood and a satisfied look on her face. “You couldn’t save some for me?” Playa complained.

“Learn to drive better and we wouldn’t be having this problem.”

“It’s on my to do list, I just haven’t gotten around to it.” Pinkamena rolled her eyes at Playa’s excuse.

The duo said nothing else as they slaughtered their way past the Masako and returned to the hideout.

The owner of the mall was sick of the violence that went on in their precious mall and later made an agreement with Playa that the Saints could roam the mall as they pleased as long as they stop bringing their violence to the place. Playa only agreed to the deal in exchange for being allowed to buy ownership of the stores that he liked in the mall. The owner begrudgingly agreed.

Playa called all of his lieutenants together at a Mexican restaurant to hold an emergency meeting to deal with Ultor. The Saints didn’t need to dig for information about the Pyramid’s location since Tera used to work there. All they needed to do was make a plan.

“I want Pierce, Shaundi, Lin and Donnie with me hittin’ the streets and takin’ out as much Ultor property as they can. The distraction will be more convincing if I’m part of the distraction. Johnny and Pinkamena, Take Tera and whoever else you think might help take out the Pyramid.”

“I’ll bring Treehugger,” Pinkamena said. “As long as she doesn’t roast us, she can burn any security who gets in our way. Seared researchers would be a bonus. Gilda can be part of the distraction team.”

With the plan decided, the meeting was adjourned. Playa brought most of his lieutenants, and Gilda, to the Row to cause havoc while Pinkamena, Johnny, Tera and Treehugger used a sewer entrance into the Pyramid as directed by Tera.

Thanks to the distraction and Vogel mobilizing the Masako on the Saints, security in the Pyramid was minimal. The four of them ignored the staff that didn’t attack them but whenever a security guard showed up to defend the facility, there was collateral damage. Staff were often caught in the assault and were either cleaved with the guard or suffered major burns from Treehugger’s flamethrower.

Tera pointed out important pieces of equipment while Johnny set bombs near them. Once the last bomb was planted near the last of the equipment that she remembered in the facility, an alarm went off and the group began searching for an exit from the facility.

Tera directed the group to an exit tunnel that had an APC parked inside. The group boarded the heavy vehicle and Johnny drove it through a set of heavy doors and safely onto the roads in the city.

Tera spent the next couple of minutes making taunts at the facility that she hated with a passion while explosions went off in the facility.

Pinkamena called Playa to tell him that they accomplished the mission and returned to the hideout. Playa headed through the nearest Forgive and Forget before following suit.

With Ultor trying to clean up the physical and media mess left behind with the destruction and exposure of the Pyramid, the corporation was forced to lay off the Saints for a while. After some well earned rest, the Saints were ready to begin their attack on Ultor anew.

While Playa and Pinkamena were discussing their next move, Pierce handed Playa an unaddressed manila envelope that showed an article about an Ultor party on a yacht held by Ultor’s Board of Directors.

“Lookin’ to crash a party?” Pierce asked.

“Thinkin’ about it…” Playa responded. “Whatchu think, Mena?”

Pinkamena put a hoof to her chin, “Sounds like Vogel wants to use you to get rid of the biggest threats to his corporate ascension.”

“You think he’s the one who sent it?”

“Who else knows where the hideout is and would send the article inside office stationery?”

“Gryphon?”

“Good point, let’s call him to make sure.” Pinkamena pulled out her phone and dialed Eric Gryphon’s number. When the executive picked up, Pinkamena asked her question, “Hey Gryphon, did you throw your Board of Directors under the bus by sending us an article of the executive boat party?”

“What are you talking about? I didn’t send any article. Probably Vogel’s doing though; the kid's quite ambitious and would sell anyone out to climb the corporate ladder. Is that all? I have a meeting to attend.” The sound of a flushing toilet could be heard in the background. “One other thing, if Vogel were somehow removed from the company roster, I’d be in a position to make sure the company leaves the Saints alone, if you catch my drift.”

Pinkamena hung up and looked at Playa. “That’s two who believe Vogel sent it.”

“Still, I’m not gonna pass up an opportunity to take out their Board of Directors. I’ll let you handle Vogel.”

Pinkamena left the hideout with Treehugger and Gilda and headed for the Phillips Building while Playa headed for the marina to borrow a boat and crash the Ultor party.

Pinkamena and her lieutenants that she was slowly starting to consider as friends were caught off guard as they arrived at the Phillips Building and noticed the security at the door actually opening the doors to let them in. “What’s going on?” she asked.

“You are Pinkamena the Pink Pony, correct?” one of the guards asked.

“Yeah...?”

“Mr. Gryphon informed us that you would be coming and said he would meet you on the seventieth floor. The elevator behind the clerk’s desk will take you to the fiftieth floor. Another guard will escort you to the elevator that will take you to Mr. Gryphon.”

Pinkamena was skeptical at first but her Pinkie Sense wasn’t sensing any danger so she followed the guard’s directions and entered the elevator.

On the way up, Gilda asked a question, “So if he’s named Gryphon, why isn’t he one?”

Pinkamena gave the griffon a deadpan stare, “You’re asking me strange questions now of all times? Don’t ask me why humans name themselves as they do. They’re weird that way.”

Treehugger said nothing to the other two as she admired the inside of the elevator and the music being played.

The elevator arrived at the fiftieth floor just after Pinkamena shot the speaker the music was coming from. There was only so much elevator music she could take.

A guard asked why she shot the speaker. “Because you have lousy selection in elevator music,” she replied.

The guard shook his head before he directed the trio to the next elevator that took them up twenty more floors.

Gryphon greeted them as they got off the elevator. He remained silent as he accompanied them to another elevator that was bound for the top floor where Vogel was. “What’s your deal?” Pinkamena asked during the elevator ride. “What do you get in all this?”

“Vogel isn’t the only one who likes to climb the corporate ladder. If the Board and Vogel are gone, I get to take over as director of special projects. Difference between Vogel and me, I’m willing to work with the Saints. Better to do so than risk more of our executives taking part in episodes of ‘1000 ways to die’.”

The elevator reached the top floor of the Phillips Building and the first person they saw was Vogel’s secretary, Jaime. “Can I help you, Mr. Gryphon?” she asked.

“I’d like to see Mr. Vogel immediately, I brought him his present from the Secret Santa that was held during the Gala.” Gryphon presented a gift-wrapped box. Gryphon knew that Vogel had contributed to the event but didn’t show to collect his gift so he took advantage of his absence to sneak Pinkamena into Vogel’s office.

“I see, and who are these with you?”

“Some associates whom I am in the middle of negotiations with.”

“Why couldn’t you give your gift to Mr. Vogel after your meeting?”

“Time is money, Jaime. I need to get these tasks done quickly.”

“Very well.” Jaime hit a button to signal Vogel.

“Yes Jaime?”

“Mr. Vogel, Mr. Gryphon and his associates are here to see you regarding a Secret Santa gift he was insistent on giving to you personally.”

“Very well, send him in.”

Gryphon and the Equestrians entered Vogel’s office. The executive was staring at the boat that was under attack by Playa and felt proud of himself about how he manipulated the Saints into doing his dirty work so he could reach the top of the corporate ladder.

Vogel turned around to greet his fellow executive, “Welcome, Mr. Gryphon. How may I--” He froze when he saw Gryphon’s associates. He gulped as he put on his friendliest smile. “Miss Pinkamena, what an absolute pleasure to see you again. Big fan of your work by the way.”

Pinkamena put on a cheery smile that slowly became creepier with each second until her trademark evil smile was on her face. “Hiya Vogey, since you probably have better things to be doing with your day than chatting with little old me, let’s get down to business.” She looked at her griffon friend, “Gilda?”

As if on a trigger, Gilda flew at Vogel, grabbed his arms and flew out one of the many windows in the office.

Pinkamena looked at Treehugger, “Ready?” Treehugger nodded as the two jumped out of the broken window and plummeted many stories toward the ground. At the last minute, Pinkamena deployed her parachute while Treehugger did the same. The two of them landed near a construction site and prepared for the next phase of their operation.

“You don’t have to do this,” Vogel begged. “I understand your frustration towards me but it wasn’t my idea to send the Masako after you and your friends.” Vogel’s begging continued while Gilda kept ignoring his pleas.

Eventually, his aerial tour of the city came to an end when he was placed inside a square-shaped enclosure. Before Vogel got up, a cement mixer backed up to his square prison and started dumping cement on him. Vogel got up in time for the cement to come up to his ankles. When he tried to escape, Gilda lifted her gloved talons to reveal the nanite claws as she presented them threateningly.

The cement had reached his knees and his movements began to slow. While the cement was being dumped on him, the edges of the enclosure were being heated by Treehugger’s flamethrower, rapidly drying the cement and fully trapping Vogel in his stone prison.

The cement rose above his waist, past his torso and finally immersing his head into the construction material. Treehugger finished hardening the cement before Gilda broke the molding and left a hardened cement block.

Pinkamena approached the stone block with a hammer and chisel. With one tap of the hammer on the chisel on the block, Pinkamena had somehow turned the stone block into a statue of Dane Vogel.

The three of them stared at the statue until Gilda asked a question, “So you mentioned there was a phase three, what is it?”

“I figured that we should help him put himself into his work of remodeling Saint’s Row. Fly him to the church and put him inside.”

Gilda did as told and placed Vogel inside the church. Pinkamena snapped a photo of the newest addition to the church. She then planted a number of explosives on the building’s main supports. The trio evacuated the building before Pinkamena triggered the bombs and caused the building to collapse on top of the statue of Vogel, shattering it and the man inside.

While admiring her latest work, Pinkamena’s phone rang. Playa asked if she had killed Vogel yet. “Yuppers, he’s nice and dead now. So now what? Ultor’s gonna be reorganized after what happened so what now?”

Playa chucked, “This is our city now...we do whatever the fuck we wanna do…”

Author's Note

As the fruits of Dane Vogel's labors crumble around him, we bid farewell to Saints Row 2 and Stilwater.

Next time: We look into the developing story in Equestria and introduce more ponies who will have an impact on our favorite serial killer.