At last, the time had come to bring an end to the war against the Zin empire. Pinkie had assured Pinkamena that there would be no more distractions from the finale.

Pinkamena recounted the numerous things that Zinyak had done to deserve the fate that she had in store for him. He invaded countless worlds in his bid for universal conquest. He attacked Earth and the Saints unprovoked which wasn’t anything new with the gang’s history. He blew up Earth because he could. He placed her and her friends in simulations that acted on their worst nightmares. He declared his intent to be a threat to Equus. He had been a thorn in their flanks throughout their whole campaign.

Most unforgivable of all, Zinyak got her family involved. Pinkamena would see to it that Zinyak never found peace.

The time had come to put Benjamin King’s plan into action, and it would all begin with the construction of a key.

Kinzie was very thorough in removing any and all Zin technology that Zinyak could have used to listen in on the Saints so she was reasonably sure that they could conduct their plan in privacy.

“Okay, what’s the plan?” Pinkamena asked Kinzie.

“If I can hack directly into the main system, then I can bring down the walls between simulations and force Zinyak to divert an enormous amount of resources to keep it from crashing all together. He won’t be able to stop it. But for now what I need is parts. For a key.”

“And this key will give you direct access to the entire simulation once used?”

“Yup, once I get the parts and the key made, we can take the fight to Zinyak’s throne room once the simulation crashes. Take Gat and someone from your crew.”

“I’ll take Vinyl, she’ll have the easiest time identifying the parts.”

“Okay, the main parts I’ll need to assemble the key are the central processing unit, memory modules and gravity inhibitors. I’ve located a CPU at the old Steelport Guard Armory. While you get that, I’ll look around for the other stuff.”

Pinkamena, Johnny and Vinyl headed into the simulation before they headed for the armory.

Pinkamena noticed that the moon was no longer in the sky. The sky itself appeared as if dawn was approaching.

At the armory, Kinzie instructed the trio to check the crates for the CPU by using their telekinesis to rip the doors off.

“I thought you knew where it was?” Johnny asked.

“I do. IN ONE OF THE CRATES AROUND THE ARMORY.” Kinzie said with irritation.

“Okay, okay, no need to get touchy.”

While Johnny was fighting off guards, Pinkamena and Vinyl ripped open crates with their Telekinesis. Vinyl eventually found one in one of the crates that she opened. “Found one,” she declared.

Vinyl picked the CPU up off the floor of the crate with her simulation-granted telekinesis and not her personal telekinesis, being careful not to expose the unit to electricity or magic. She gave the unit to Pinkamena who stored it in her mane.

“Good, head to the nearest tower. That’s where the memory modules are,” Kinzie ordered.

Johnny decided to hang back and steal an assault helicopter while the mares raced for the tower.

At the tower, Kinzie directed the mares to the floating platforms around the tower where the Zin set up a number of generators. The hacker wanted the generators broken so they could take the parts. Johnny, of all people, voiced his concern over breaking the generators damaging the modules.

“It’s a simulation!” Kinzie stated as if Johnny was spouting nonsense.

Pinkamena shrugged and started smashing the generators with her Knightmare. Strangely enough, the modules survived the madmare’s vicious assault. Vinyl picked up the modules from the remains of the generators and placed them into Pinkamena’s mane.

“Okay, the gravity inhibitors are at the dock, though it looks like they’re trying to put a force field up around the area. Get moving fast before they block you out.”

The two mares quickly glided to the docks to find the devices that Kinzie was looking for.

They arrived with time to spare so Pinkamena went on a killing spree while Vinyl dealt with the generators at the docks.

The DJ never found gravity inhibitors in the previous generators and figured that they never needed them. Vinyl had to ask, “Why didn’t we come to the docks in the first place? If these generators had memory modules and gravity inhibitors, then why did we bother attacking the tower in the first place?”

“I’ll...get back to you on that one.”

Pinkamena and Vinyl snickered while finishing off the area.

Johnny suddenly reported that his chopper was on fire so he decided to bail out. He glided down near the mares and landed just before the helicopter crashed.

“Any landin’ you walk away from…” Johnny said.

Kinzie got to work on the key once the parts were delivered. “Thanks for the parts, now I need a power source to make it work and we’ll be set for the big operation.”

“What do you have in mind?” Pinkamena asked.

“CID and the boss will assist with this part.”

Johnny and Vinyl shrugged and returned to the ship. CID and Playa showed up shortly after.

CID briefed Playa and Pinkamena, “I have found a compatible power source for the Key; predictably, it is controlled by the Zin. Interference from these cells make it impossible for me to pinpoint the exact locations, but I should be able to determine the general areas of the three we need. I have marked the general location for the first cell.”

The group raced for the area of the first cell. It didn’t take long since the cell was located in one of the few areas left in the city with a red glow.

The guard presence was minor so there was no issue with obtaining the first cell. “Easiest mission ever,” Playa said.

“I’m going to kick your ass later,” Pinkamena declared.

“For what?”

“Invoking Chekhov's Gun,”

“Fuck me…”

The first cell was obtained with no problems. Once the cell was safely in her mane, the trio headed for the second cell which was under the effects of a pair of shield generators.

“You just had to jinx us.,” Pinkamena gloated.

“How is this my fault? They would have set them up regardless,” Playa defended.

“Now we’ll never know because they’re increasing security around the cell.”

As it turned out, only one of the shield generators was active so the task wasn’t much more difficult than the last cell.

The next cell was a bit more complicated as the Zin were ready with active shield generators. While Pinkamena and CID easily dealt with the guards while Playa ripped the wires out of the generators, one of the Zin was smart enough to blow up the cell before he expired.

“Playa, next time you wanna pull a Pierce, don’t,” Pinkamena warned.

“Hey!” Pierce said over the comms.

“There is one more cell not far from here,” CID indicated.

It didn’t take the trio long to reach the last cell.

“The second final power cell is in this area, and I am reading a large amount of energy output around it,” CID informed.

“I’m guessing that’s not good,” Playa figured.

“Given that our current predicament is a result of your big mouth, I would guess you are correct.”

A large number of shield generators were placed around the power cell.

“CID, why is everything a target?” Playa asked.

“Because you are cursed. But seriously, only a couple seem to actually be generating the force field. The rest should be easily destructible decoys.”

“I’m just gonna smash everything,” Pinkamena declared. She pulled out her Knightmare and started smashing while Playa and CID provided backup by bombarding the Zin troops and murderbots with lasers and powers.

Once the shield was down, a tank was revealed.

“Where’s the battery?” Playa asked.

“Integrated into the tank I believe. The properties of the power cell should increase the speed, destruction and durability of the vehicle,” CID informed.

“Nice…”

“However, the increase in power will also overload the tank and cause it to explode in a few minutes. If you get to Kinzie’s warehouse in time, she can set up a field which will stabilize the energy output.”

“Well, at least I get to blow stuff up on the way there.”

“How about a deal, Playa,” Pinkamena offered. “If you let me carry the tank back to the warehouse, I won’t kick your ass for invoking Chekhov’s Gun. If you still want to drive it, you get to have your fun and so do I.”

Playa cringed at the thought of the madmare beating his ass up and down the ship. If there was one opponent he really didn’t want to have to fight it was Pinkamena. He had seen her in action many times over the years and a fight with her was just asking for broken bones.

With a pout, Playa said his farewells to the best tank ever as Pinkamena lifted it and leapt away toward the warehouse.

It was time for the final push.

Kinzie reported that she had just finished with the key and it was now ready for transport.

Before that, Playa had the entire crew gathered for one final speech. Everyone knew that he was going to use the same one he’d always used but let him say it anyway.

“I know you heard this speech a bunch of times…”

“Heard it? Bitch, I wrote it,” Ben added.

“But we need to remember why we do what we do. And today the stakes are even higher. Earth is gone. It’s not coming back and nothing we do today is going to change that. But one thing we can do is get revenge. And you better believe we’re showing this motherfucker humanity isn’t dead because we’re still alive. This isn’t about hope, of faith, or even about winning. Those things died on Earth. This is about will. This is about saying I don’t give a shit how many times you knock me down, if I’m still breathing I’m standing back up, and ya know what? You can hit as hard as you want ‘cause when I hit back I’m gonna lay your ass out, bitch! It’s our time now, let’s get this shit started.”

“About time, Zinyak’s punishment is long overdue,” Pinkamena said.

“Once we begin, it’s all or nothing. We get to Zinyak or we all die,” Kinzie informed. “Three teams of Saints will accompany the boss with at least two Equestrians providing support. The first team will help get the Key into the mainframe. The second will help overload the simulation. The final team will infiltrate the mothership and get to Zinyak. Now pick the teams.”

“Matt and Asha will escort the Key, Pierce and Shaundi will help overload the place and Johnny and Ben will come with me to the mothership,” Playa decided.

“Gilda and Vinyl will help team one. Moondancer and Treehugger will help team two. Octavia will be with me,” Pinkamena decided.

“Are you sure? Kinzie asked.

“Yes, Gilda and Vinyl are good defenders and Vinyl can help move the Key if necessary. I need Moondancer on overload duty to load S3E3 into the simulation. Setting fire to the place should put a lot of strain on the simulation as well. Octavia is a skilled assassin and I trust her abilities.”

Once the teams were picked, Playa, Asha and Matt entered the simulation while Moondancer helped Gilda and Vinyl into the simulation.

Asha began the first briefing, “According to Kinzie’s intel the Key needs to be taken to the old Syndicate Tower. The entrance to the System is in the loading dock. We will be driving the truck while you keep the Zin off us. After entering, CID will be in charge of driving the Key into the main computer hub, which will cause the simulation to begin destabilizing.”

“The Key’s loaded up. Climb on and make sure it doesn’t get destroyed,” Kinzie ordered.

Playa and Vinyl climbed on the bed of the truck while Gilda took to the air. Playa signalled that they were ready to begin and Asha stepped on the accelerator.

While this was happening, hordes of Zin appeared and began firing on the truck. Playa used an alien RPG while Vinyl used her Wubstep Gun to deal with pursuers while Gilda created singularities to crush blockades, taking care not to get the MI6 duo sucked in.

It wasn’t until they passed the second blockade that the mission became a little more complicated.

“Oh, I’m sorry, but this highway wasn’t clear for heavy loads. Ha ha ha ha…” Zinyak said.

With that. The truck was deleted, leaving the Key floating in midair.

“What the hell?!” the Saints shouted.

“What the Tartarus?!” the Equestrians shouted.

Playa grabbed the Key in his telekinesis and raced for Syndicate Tower with Asha, Matt, Gilda and Vinyl close behind.

Once the Key was brought to the entrance, the Saints discovered that the entrance was closed with a shield.

“I believe I can hack through the shield,” CID declared.

“Defensive positions everyone, buy CID enough time,” Playa ordered.

It didn’t take long for CID to disable the shield. Once down, Playa, CID, Vinyl, and Gilda headed into the rift inside the main hub while Matt and Asha guarded the entrance.

Once inside the rift, the Key unfolded into a much larger device. “I will harness the system’s energy to fuel the power cells on the Key,” CID said.

It was quickly discovered that the Key wasn’t moving. When asked, CID suggested that opening nearby breakers would increase the power. Playa, Vinyl and Gilda each went to a Breaker where they stomped to activate them after they found that the breakers were not responding well to simple activation attempts.

Vinyl, Gilda and Playa dealt with each of the Zin’s attempts to stop or slow the Key, even destroying force field generators that Playa questioned why the generators didn’t protect themselves. CID called that crazy talk.

The Key soon reached its destination, a spherical structure with a circular hole in the center and five smaller circles around it with six points each. “I am coming for you, Zinyak. Today your simulations come to an end and only I will remain,” CID declared.

“You’ve been waiting a long time to make that statement, huh?” Vinyl asked.

“Our victory here made saying that worthwhile.”

“How about we focus on getting our flanks outta here before we get stuck in this hole,” Gilda demanded with a tone of urgency.

“That would be a good idea,” CID agreed.

Vinyl and Gilda returned to the ship just as the entire simulation started to glitch out.

“Remember, Steelport’s breaking down inside the simulation right now. I will open portals into Pierce’s and Shaundi’s personal nightmares. But don’t worry, whatever comes though will be on your side,” Kinzie informed.

Treehugger and Moondancer traded places with Vinyl and Gilda while Pierce and Shaundi went into the decaying simulation.

For some reason, the group of five composed of Playa, Pierce, Shaundi, Treehugger and Moondancer were slowly walking down a street as if they were doing a promotion for something.

Once the simulation started for real, Kinzie directed the group to the first portal on a floating platform.

When Pinkamena looked at the simulated sky from Kinzie’s computer, the sky looked like morning had come at last.

On the platform, the group attacked the Zin troops that were trying to prevent Kinzie’s portal from stabilizing. Moondancer deleted the troops on the platform while Treehugger hurled giant fireballs at the ships, clearing the area.

“Got it. You guys should start seeing…” Kinzie said as the first portal opened.

“Saints Flow? Dammit, not again!” Pierce complained. Saints Flow mascots flooded into the simulation from Kinzie’s portal.

“Yeah, but in overcoming the nightmare they’re now on your side,” Kinzie assured.

Pierce stayed behind because the mascots were his problem and someone needed to stay behind to guard the portal.

The rest raced to the second portal’s position. However, Moondancer had additional instructions for her partner in crime.

“Treehugger, while we’re opening these portals, cause as much havoc as possible. Burn this city to the ground if you have to.”

Treehugger nodded before she started setting fire to everything she could see, except her friends.

On the second platform, the process was the same as before. Once the second portal opened, Sons of Samedi emerged from the portal. Shaundi stayed behind while Playa and Moondancer headed to the last portal.

“It’s working! The whole system is working overtime just to keep from falling apart,” Kinzie said happily.

“Kinzie, this better not open a portal to that old timey Steelport,” Playa warned.

“What? Oh god no! You think I’d want to see that place any more than you would?”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t mind remembering that…”

“Finish that last sentence and you’ll be missing a few limbs when you wake up. Besides, Moondancer is opening this one.”

“Do we even know what that program she made is?”

“Nope, but if it puts the final nail to the coffin of this simulation, I don’t care.”

Once at the last portal location, Moondancer went to work on the portal. She opened the portal quickly.

That was when madness itself invaded the simulation. It was a madness that could have been declared a war crime. It was a madness that shouted the same word over and over again…

“FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN!...”

The simulation was invaded by an endless flow of Pinkie Pies. Playa and Moondancer leapt away as an endless tide of pink party ponies flooded into the simulation. The pink tide started covering every part of the simulation as the ponies spread all over.

“Moondancer! Boss! The simulation is collapsing faster than anticipated! Get out of there now!” Kinzie yelled.

Moondancer quickly disconnected her subconscious from the simulation and returned to the real world, leaving Playa to find a gateway in a panicked rush to not get trapped in the simulation forever.

It took a few tries but Playa barely managed to escape.

Once Playa emerged from his chair, Kinzie steered the ship toward the Zin mothership.

Once she found a safe drop-off point, she let Playa, Johnny, Ben, Octavia and Pinkamena disembark.

“Good luck BPSBFF!” Pinkie shouted.

“What does that mean?” Johnny asked.

“Knowing her, Big Pie Sister Best Friend Forever,” Pinkamena said.

“Right, anyway, let’s kill some aliens.”

“To get to Zinyak’s throne room you’ll need a space suit and some weapons for destroying the ship’s outer defenses. The schematics show an armory not too far in. Head there and see what you can find,” Kinzie instructed.

Pinkamena took the time to get zealous with her killing and went on a rampage, slicing and dicing everything that moved in front of her. Octavia provided support by shooting the heads of everyone that Pinkamena missed.

It wasn’t long before the group reached the armory door. Since Kinzie couldn’t open the door, Johnny took the simple approach and shot the door’s terminal, opening it.

Pinkamena and Playa ran inside to find something like a suit.

What they found was even better.

“This is the best surprise ever…” Playa said in awe. Pinkamena’s psychotic smile was wider than ever.

“It’s a robot, isn’t it…” Kinzie guessed, disappointed.

“We found ourselves some power armor,”

“No. Way.”

“Hmm…” Pinkamena mused, wondering how she was going to get some power armor of her own.

Pinkie tapped Pinkamena’s withers. The madmare looked back at the party mare, not surprised in the least that she was there. Pinkie pointed toward a conveniently placed suit of pony-shaped power armor.

When Pinkamena looked back at Pinkie again, the mare was gone. The madmare shrugged.

Playa put on his armor first, followed by Pinkamena.

Pinkamena’s armor was customized by her. The armor covered her whole body except for her mane and tail. The right side was all white and her mane covered the right side of her face. The left side was all black and the eye on that side looked like a red glowing claw There was also a wide, sinister grin on the black side.

“Interesting look, Mena,” Playa commented.

“This is the face I want to use when I deliver his punishment.”

Playa and Pinkamena dove out the airlock and downward through a long passageway.

The duo dodged a laser defense grid before a pair of blast doors closed on them. Pinkamena was not having that so she invoked the full might of her family’s technique combined with her Stomp ability and the terminal velocity she was moving at and unleashed her full might upon the blast door.

The attack worked and the blast doors were knocked away. Pinkamena held her hoof as the attack didn’t come without recoil.

From then, the dive through the tunnel was met with debris from the ship falling apart. The two angled themselves to fall into the passage to their left in front of them.

“You can come for me, but you don’t stand a chance,” Zinyak taunted.

“I hope you like the punishment that I set up for you, Zinyak. I suggest enjoying your final moments. An eternity of pain and agony awaits you!”

“You make it sound like you’ve already won.”

“If there’s one common theme that leads to the downfall of villains, its hubris. And you have fallen into the same pitfall as them.”

“We shall see.”

Playa and Pinkamena entered the duct that would take them to Zinyak’s throne room.

Playa and Pinkamena landed before Zinyak in dramatic fashion.

Zinyak was enjoying a drink from a goblet when he looked up at the duo. “Quite the entrance.”

“I figured you had a flair for the dramatic,” Playa quipped.

“Oh, you know me so well.”

“I’m really going to miss these bonding experiences. As much as I would love to kill you, and I really want to kill you, I’m afraid that I have to give the honors to our mutual friend, Pinkamena.”

Pinkamena remained still and silent.

“Handing me off to some lowly creature who never learned to walk on two legs or even develop hands? You must be joking.”

“There are fates worse than death, Zinyak. If it had just been Earth and the Saints against you, I would be personally ripping your head off. But you had to provoke my companion.”

“This farce has gone on long enough. Zinjai!”

A Zin wearing a red cape appeared from behind the throne. “Yes, your excellency?”

“Is the empire watching?”

“Of course, your excellency.”

Numerous red screens appeared around Zinyak. Each one displayed Zin who were watching. One screen displayed the crew watching the upcoming battle.

Zinyak got off the throne and glared down at the two with contempt. The throne lowered into the platform. “Humanity is dead, my friend. Ponykind shall meet the same fate. The time has come for the last flicker of resistance to die.”

Playa tackled Zinyak to the floor before he punched him three times. Zinyak grabbed Playa’s fist and threw him aside and tried to slam him with his own but Playa rolled out of the way. Playa followed up with another punch to Zinyak’s head, Playa tried to get on top of the alien overlord again but was kicked away.

Zinyak pressed some buttons on his wristband and teleported away.

Playa looked around then upward as he heard something from above. The ceiling opened up and a giant mechanical construct flew down and landed in the center, knocking Playa back a little. The mechanical suit prepared to attack.

“Well okay then...time to end this,” Playa said.

The mech prepared to stomp Playa and Pinkamena away…

But something went wrong.

The suit paused and started sparking.

“What is going on?” Zinyak asked. He checked his systems and discovered the problem. “What? How? How are the systems on my mech clogged? Does anyone do maintenance anymore?”

Pinkamena giggled. “Looks like someone doesn’t pay attention to your stuff. If they had known, maybe they could have stopped that somepony from filling every tiny orifice of that suit with explosive frosting.”

“But you were there the whole time. How did you have time to do that?”

“Easy.” A certain pink pony dropped down from above and landed next to her power armor. She quickly leapt into her armor.

“I should have known you were suspiciously silent, but how did you have time to get out of the armor and sabotage my mech?”

“That’s a mystery you will never solve. Anyway...three...two...one…”

That was when the mech exploded, ejecting Zinyak and the alien landing at Pinkamena’s hooves.

Pinkamena continued, her red eye glowing brighter, “While I could have at least let you have one big epic final battle, you really pissed me off so I took away your chance to go out in a blaze of glory.”

“The Zin Empire will come down upon you for this travesty. Even if I die, your fates are sealed.”

“Who said anything about killing you? When I said you would suffer for eternity, I meant it.”

“How can you possibly make me suffer for eternity?”

“I think you’re about to find out. IT’S PUNISHMENT TIME!”

Pinkamena and Playa moved out of the way as the door to Zinyak’s throne room opened and a long length of chain with a clamp on the end flew into the room and clamped around Zinyak’s neck. Before the alien overlord could struggle, he was dragged out of the room by the chain. He flew a long distance until his metallic captor pulled him into a room in his mothership.

Zinyak was pulled onto a chair into the simulation that was meant for his size and the device closed around his body. His consciousness was quickly projected into a blank simulation where he would await his fate.

“Moondancer, activate S3E3A,” Pinkamena ordered.

Once the unicorn started up the program, Zinyak’s simulation was no longer blank as he stood under the only beam of light in an ocean of darkness. He suddenly saw a large number of red glowing eyes all around him. One of the figures stepped into the light to reveal Pinkamena. Another Pinkamena appeared behind Zinyak, then another and another.

Each Pinkamena could only utter one word: “Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!”

The light went out and Zinyak was quickly swarmed by countless pink ponies carrying knives. Each pony sliced up his flesh and chopped him to pieces. His internal organs were punctured by countless knives.

Once Zinyak succumbed to his wounds, the whole simulation reset and he was soon swarmed by Pinkamena clones again. This repeated over and over and over.

“Alright Moondancer, put him in his prison,” Pinkamena ordered from outside the simulation.

Zinyak soon found himself in the same quarry he trapped Pinkamena’s sisters in. However his captors were Pinkamena clones and each one was looking for a reason to slice his flesh again.

“What are you waiting for?” One of the clones asked. “You’re supposed to be breaking rocks for all eternity and I don’t see any rock breaking.”

Zinyak tried to crush the head of one of the Pinkamenas only to be quickly swarmed and chopped into pieces before the simulation reset.

“Wanna try that again?”

Zinyak tried to resist a few more times before he finally realized the futility of his resistance. If he tried to speak, he was swarmed. If he tried to think, he was swarmed. If he tried to wipe away sweat, he was swarmed. If he tried to do anything that didn’t relate to breaking rocks, he was swarmed.

Back in the real world, Moondancer placed the simulation onto a tiny storage device that ran on magic. The device would be where Zinyak spent his eternity.

With Zinyak separated from his body, Pinkamena chopped up Zinyak’s corpse into tiny pieces and gave them to every member of the Zin Empire as she could.

Once she was finished with her task, Playa came up to the madmare. “Hey Mena, we just learned that the Zin can time travel. Wanna go fuck around with history with us?”

“Do I?!” She asked rhetorically with eagerness. “I wanna mess with Jack the Ripper.”

Playa chuckled, “Come on, it’s time to celebrate and Pinkie has everything set up. We even invited that Zinjai guy to the party.”

Pinkamena walked out of the room and headed off to do some time travelling shenanigans with the Saints.

Author's Note

With the end of Saints Row 4, we must now shift our perspective from sci-fi and aliens to demons, gods and mythology. But first, an interlude.