Pinkie and Pinkamena left the Ultor building to head toward Shantytown to assist Vlad the Impaler, the former feeling sad about leaving her sister Marble in the state she was in.

As they started heading off, a couple of Spires fired a pair of missiles at them. Pinkamena quickly pulled out a pistol and shot the missiles into exploding in midair. Since the area was still part of Marble’s and Treehugger’s area, she chose to ignore the turrets.

Before she could think about her traumatized sister further, Pinkie’s stomach growled, reminding her that she hadn’t had anything to eat for a few hours. She had some cake from the party earlier but that had run its course.

Before she reached into her mane for a cupcake to fill her up, her eyes spotted a fast food taco restaurant. After her sister had exposed her body to the taste of fast food meat, she had started taking a liking to it. She had also tried tacos from Stilwater and Steelport and took a liking to that kind of food.

With her decision made, Pinkie asked her sister, “Hey Mena, can we check out that taco restaurant? I haven’t eaten for a few hours.” She pointed at the location.

Pinkamena looked at where her sister was pointing, then looked at her sister with a raised eyebrow. “Seriously? I don’t think you want to be eating food made in Hell. It would probably give you dysentery.”

“We should at least check it out. Maybe the one making them was one of those who made a deal with Satan to make awesome tacos in exchange for his soul.”

Pinkamena rolled her eyes. “Fine, we’ll see if they have anything edible.”

The two pink mares descended to the ground hear the Tacos Malos restaurant and approached what appeared to be a drive through to look at the menu.

A familiar voice came through the intercom installed on the board, “Welcome to Tacos Malos, would you like to try the Malo Special?”

“Dane?” Pinkamena asked.

“Yes, now keep your voice down. You don’t want Satan’s minions to hear us.”

“Suddenly I can imagine that this will be your life whenever you hit rock bottom,” Pinkamena snarked.

“Hardy har har,” Dane replied dryly. “Look, I’ve been using the Tacos Malos in the city as dead drops for supplies in the war against Satan. Each establishment has a piece of a powerful weapon that comes in three pieces. Take the one here and go find the others.”

“Can I get a taco?” Pinkie asked.

“You don’t want the fucking taco…” Dane answered with irritation.

The nearby drive through window opened and a piece of machinery fell out of it. Pinkie shrugged and picked up the object and stored it in her mane.

As they spread their wings and flew away, Pinkie pouted. “What kind of taco store doesn’t sell tacos?” she grumbled.

Pinkamena groaned, “If we try another taco shop, will you shut up about the tacos?”

Pinkie’s smile quickly returned, “Okay!”

Remembering Dane’s map of the city, Pinkamena remembered another Tacos Malos in The Den. Pinkamena was glad that Octavia and Vinyl were already working on disabling the Spires in the area. Because of the efforts of the musical duo, the flight to the second taco store was uneventful.

Approaching the electronic board, Dane’s voice was heard through the intercom once again, “Welcome to Tacos Malos, may I take your order?”

“I want a taco,” Pinkie demanded.

“You don’t want the fucking taco. I told you before,” Dane said with clear frustration in his voice.

“I’m pretty sure I said that I want a taco.”

The sound of something hitting something else repeatedly was heard over the intercom. Pinkamena decided to intervene before the executive did something he might regret. “Look, I’ll talk Pinkie out of the tacos, just give me the weapon part and we’ll see you when we get to the last taco store.”

Dane didn’t reply as the window opened and another mechanical component was tossed out. Pinkamena grabbed the object and stored it in Pinkie’s mane.

“Why don’t these places sell tacos? The service here is terrible,” Pinkie complained.

“Okay, first, welcome to Hell. Of course the service is terrible. It comes with the territory. Second, you really don’t want to eat the tacos here. The place is called ‘Tacos Malos’ which literally translates to ‘Bad Tacos’. Remember the ‘baked bads’ incident? I’m pretty sure the tacos here will leave you bedridden for a while and I’d rather you stay healthy until we get back home at least.”

“Aww…” Pinkie pouted, clearly disappointed.

With the diversion taken care of, the pink duo resumed their flight to the slums of Hell. While the path was clear to Shantytown, Pinkamena had to deal with three Spires once they approached Shantytown’s airspace and on the way to Vlad’s castle. Pinkie distracted the guards by using a Party Blast that compelled the demons guarding the turrets to dance while Pinkamena used her Knightmare to splatter the Spires. The guards were quickly dismembered afterward.

Vlad was spotted atop one of the towers of his castle with his arms crossed, looking down at the slums with a disapproving look in his eyes. The famous murderer noticed the two ponies land behind him and approach.

Without looking back, Vlad spoke without warning, “That fraternity that defiled my castle will pay dearly for their transgressions. Until then, we have a district to conquer. One of Vogel’s associates wishes for your assistance in helping one of his clients pay his debt of torment.” He pointed in the direction of a neighborhood called Goat’s Heart. “While you are out there, it may be in your best interest to eliminate the remaining Spires in the district. If memory serves, six were deployed in this area. I saw you eliminate three of them.”

Pinkamena knew that Vlad had a point, those Spires were a menace. The last thing she needed was to have them catching her off guard and knocking Pinkie out of the sky.

Taking Vlad’s advice, Pinkamena flew around the slums and hunted down the remaining Spires. Once again, Pinkie distracted the guards by forcing them to dance while Pinkamena splattered the turrets. While she wanted to try something different with the last three spires, she knew that her Vorpal Blade was not big enough to cut through the thick fleshy exterior. She quickly got bored of dealing with Spires.

With the skies cleared, Pinkamena and Pinkie headed for Goat’s Heart to talk to Legal Lee.

The lawyer greeted them as they approached, “Hey, there’s my golden ticket to fortune. I’ve been meaning to ask, was that explosion that sank part of Stilwater your doing?”

Pinkamena recalled the incident before shaking her head, “Nah, that happened because Pinkie here planted a bomb too close to a fault line and set it off when she learned that we were moving to Steelport. She wanted to protect the secrets of her party cave but didn’t realize what would happen.”

Pinkie’s ears drooped and her mane sagged a little as she remembered her actions that day.

Lee smiled at the party pony, “Well, I should be thanking you, Miss Pinkie. Thanks to you, I was able to file so many insurance claims that day that I cleaned out every insurance company in Stilwater. I was made a billionaire before Earth was blown up.”

“But what about those people?” Pinkie asked.

“The hospitals that survived the cataclysm treated most of those who survived. They couldn’t save everyone but many still survived.”

“Oh, that’s good...I think.” Pinkie was still sad that her reckless actions ended so many lives that day. There was nothing Pinkamena could do to cheer her sister up this time. She would have to work through her issues.

“Anyway, that was then. Remember the police chief Troy?”

Pinkamena’s attention returned to Lee, “Yeah, I remember him. I decided to spare him since he was useful enough.”

Lee held a glass orb in front of Pinkamena’s face. “Well, I need you to use this orb to take control of him and subject him to some good old insurance fraud.”

Without saying a word, Pinkamena quickly snatched the orb and started playing around with the husk of the police chief and making him get crushed, burned, bashed and occasionally smacked in the head by a passing demon’s weapon when Troy was getting in his personal space.

Soon, the orb’s power ran out and so did Pinkamena’s fun. She handed the orb back to Lee and the two headed back to Vlad’s castle.

Back at the tower, Vlad instructed the ponies to fly around the district and get an understanding of the area and find out anything they could about the frat demons. “I need information on the fraternity that desecrated my castle. I need to find out if there is anything about them I can use to make them suffer for their transgressions.”

While Pinkamena and Pinkie were flying around the slums in search of information, there were few things of note. One of the important things they spotted was a gathering of the frat demons at Glutton’s End which was next to a Tacos Malos, the last unvisited one in the city. They also spotted Johnny and Kinzie in the area scouring the district for tomes and checking out the sights.

Once they had the lay of the land, Pinkie and Pinkamena returned to Vlad who had a treasure chest next to him. The mass murderer made a note to give it to Dane at his earliest convenience.

“While I would like for Satan’s armies to suffer the loss of their Marshalling Grounds, my desire for revenge burns hotter. Those fraternity demons must pay. Fly to their gathering and make them suffer.”

With the order given, the duo headed for Glutton’s End and landed in the middle of the gathering.

“Hey look,” one of the frat demons said, “Some tiny horses have come to join the party. Maybe they’ll give us pony rides.”

Pinkie looked at Pinkamena with concern. “Huh? But I’m not a whorse.”

“Don’t worry about it, Pinkie. Go talk to Dane over at the taco shop. I’ll handle things from here,” Pinkamena assured.

Pinkie nodded and ran to the nearby Tacos Malos while Pinkamena sliced the insulting frat demon in two with her Vorpal Blade then took his paddle and started knocking the demons far away.

Meanwhile, Pinkie approached the electronic menu and waited for Dane to speak, “Welcome to Tacos Malos. We have a special today, half off for a bundle of ten tacos.”

“Why do you keep offering tacos when you wont give any tacos?” Pinkie asked.

“Because it’s a front. Just take the damn weapon and for the love of God, stop asking me for tacos.”

“But I want a taco.”

Dane screamed.

Pinkie giggled, “Just joking.”

The window opened and another weapon component fell out. Pinkie grabbed it and placed it in her mane.

It was then that her mane started acting crazy, as if a cat and a mouse were racing around in there. She reached into her mane and pulled out the offending gray cat and brown mouse before letting them go before the cat chased the mouse down the street.

Pinkie’s mane rumbled again and when she reached inside, she pulled out the weapon components that were trying to fuse themselves with her party cannon. While she tried to pull the parts away from her cannon, it was no use and the cannon transformed into a small whistle that bounced from the ground and into her hooves.

Thankfully, she had spare cannons.

Pinkamena was still bashing frats so Pinkie decided to try out her new whistle to get their attention.

What happened was a lot more terrifying. Upon blowing into the whistle, the area was swarmed by a swarm of ravenous parasprites that started to bite, rip and tear into the clothes and flesh of the frat demons. Pinkamena quickly noticed the swarm and ran to Pinkie, hoping she had an answer since the swarm came when she blew the whistle.

“What the Tartarus just happened, Pinkie? Did you have anything to do with this?”

Pinkie dropped the whistle out of fright and a little guilt but the object formed a string around the mare’s neck and dangled from it. “I...I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

Pinkamena put a hoof over her sister’s withers. “Pinkie, it’s okay. Remember, we’re fighting for our lives to save our friend and find our way home here. We’re fighting an enemy that lacks morals; friendship won’t work here. Besides, I’m pretty sure anything that dies down here just comes back later. I mean, where do you go when you die in an afterlife realm like Hell? We’re dealing with an army that’s already dead. Death itself can’t touch this realm. So, even if you summoned a swarm of ravenous parasprites that feasted on them until bones remained, they’ll just come back later. So in a way, we can kill without consequence.

“Only problem is that we’re still mortal so if we want to go home, we can’t die here or we get bound to this realm, understand?” Pinkie nodded. “Good, now let’s--”

Pinkie’s Pinkie Sense alerted her to an incoming attack aimed at her. She shifted her position slightly but she was still hit by a bullet. The impact threw the party pony into the front wall of the Tacos Malos.

“Pinkie!” Pinkamena yelled. She quickly turned her attention to where the bullet came from and saw a familiar figure emerge from the nearby shadows.

“As if I had enough shit from one pink bitch, now I have two and more of you fucking horses killing me everywhere I go. Well no more. I’m endin’ you right now, Pinkamena.”

Pinkamena glared daggers at Dex who was carrying the weirdest looking pistol she had ever seen. It had two barrels along with a brass and ruby device with a laser targeting system within it. The stock was a segmented metallic tail twisted like a ram’s horn. A jawbone is seen under the barrel.

“I ain’t gonna fall for a cliche like a villain’s monologue so I’m just gonna shoot you now. Goodbye, bitch.” Dex pulled the trigger.

*click*

“Huh?”

*click* *click* *click*

“Why the fuck won’t this thing fire? Is it jammed?”

Maniacal laughter could be heard from the gun.

“What the fuck?!”

“Thanks for playing the role of the delivery boy husk, but you must be more fucked up in the head than I thought if you believed that I would attack my true master,” the gun said.

“What the fuck are you talking about? You’re just a weapon; a tool.”

“And you’re just a husk who had his sins extracted a long time ago along with any power you might have had coming to Hell. Now you’re dried up with a head bigger than your potential.”

Once it said that, the stock moved, assumed a bladed form, and sliced Dex’s hand off. Free from its carrier, the weapon slithered to Pinkamena who was confused as the weapon wrapped itself around her right forehoof.

The weapon briefly analyzed its bearer’s mind and spoke, “Ah yes, a powerful mare destined to do great things. You deserve a weapon that is fit for a queen.” It chuckled. “...of hearts.”

The weapon suddenly glowed and changed its shape. It started by getting longer and narrower. One end took the shape of a fan blade while the other extended from one end and took the shape of a scythe blade. When the glow faded, the scythe edge looked caked in blood, the metal was black as ebony, and the handle had a spiraling pattern of black and red.

While she liked the look of the weapon, she gave it a look of disapproval, “I have a question: if you could control whether you fired or not, why did you shoot my sister?”

The weapon could sense that it tread on thin ice with its new wielder so it chose its words carefully. “I was honestly not aiming for her, I was aiming at Gula, the spirit of Gluttony who resides in the weapon around your sister’s neck.”

Pinkamena’s look did not relent, “Uh huh...if you were aiming at her weapon then why did her Pinkie Sense alert her to shift her position? For your sake, I hope you did hit the weapon because...hold that thought.”

Pinkamena noticed Dex attempting to sneak away. The madmare was already furious with the treacherous ex-Saint and shooting Pinkie had placed him at number two on her list of people who she decided would suffer, directly under Zinyak. She quickly cut off his escape using her speed and lightly bucked him into a wall. She wanted Dex to not be buried in a wall for what she was about to do.

While he fell to his hands and knees, coughing up blood, he felt something heavy fall on his back. He looked behind him to see that Pinkamena was on his back. His eyes traced her forehooves to her new scythe and noticed that the blade was now around his neck.

Dex growled at the madmare, “You can kill me as many times as you want, but we’re in Hell; I'll just keep coming back until I finally find a way to end you.”

The weapon cackled maniacally, “There’s a reason we’re called the Seven Deadly Weapons. We are all cursed weapons and our curse changes with each form we take. In this form, any head I decapitate lives the rest of their existence without a body.

“That sounds fun,” Pinkamena said with her psychotic smile. “Let’s give it a test, shall we?”

“Wa-wait, no, NO!”

Pinkamena ignored his pleas as the scythe sliced cleanly through Dex’s neck. The husk’s body collapsed to the ground while the head rolled a short distance away.

The madmare looked at the head in disdain, “I’ll deal with you soon. Now, where were we…?”

A gulping sound was heard from the weapon before it spoke hastily, “Alright, so I’m a terrible shot in that form. I wasn’t born in an era where guns were rampant like they are today. I aimed at Gula to get back at him for eating the entire buffet table last time the Seven had a reunion two thousand years ago.”

“And yet you chose to endanger…”

“Mena, don’t be mean to him. He didn’t mean to hurt me so go easy on him,” Pinkie demanded.

Seeing Pinkie relatively unharmed was a relief for the madmare. She glared back at the weapon, “You’re lucky my sister’s alright or I would have tested your heat tolerance in the molten sea.” The weapon made another gulping sound. Pinkamena’s gaze softened as she turned to Pinkie, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, my whistle took the shot and I took the impact. It’s no worse than the time I tested the power of my party cannon and didn’t count on a house being in the direction I aimed.”

“Well as long as you’re alright.” She turned her attention to Dex, a sadistic grin on her face, “Now, what to do with you?”

“You think you can do worse to me than make me a decapitated head? There is no way you can do worse to me.”

“Take this you meanie mean pants,” Pinkie shouted before she blew her whistle and a few parasprites descended upon Dex’s head and devoured the flesh. The traitorous Saint screamed in agony as his head was reduced to a skull. Pinkamena picked up the skull and stuffed it in her mane.

“Might make for a movie prop one day. As long as he behaves himself, I’ll let him keep his jaw,” Pinkamena said before the two flew off and returned to Vlad.

The new weapons made taking the rest of Shantytown easy, especially the Marshalling grounds. Once they arrived, Pinkie’s Swarm Caller filled the pit with millions of ravenous parasprites that left the guards either fleeing or reduced to piles of bones. Because of this, converting the control stones was nearly effortless. When the Archduke arrived to defend the area, he didn’t get the chance to summon his flaming sword before he was decapitated by Pinkamena’s Executioner’s Scythe.

The remaining targets were split between the two sisters since either one could handle an area by themselves thanks to their new weapons.

Pinkamena cleared out Impalement Gardens which was one of the main hangouts of the frat demons. What terrified the demons was that the madmare had an answer to each of their tactics. If they were too close to each other, the Executioner’s Scythe would slice them in half in a single sweep. If they spread out, her Vorpal Blade would dismember them almost as fast because of her speed. The vehicles they drove in with were quickly smashed by the madmare’s Knightmare. The frat demons fled quickly because they would prefer not to live their eternities as heads.

Pinkie made quick work of the Extraction Facility. With the swarm of parasprites flooding the room, the guards were unable to stop the party pony from taking the nodes without having their flesh painfully devoured.

After Pinkie and Pinkamena each took one area by forcing the demons out, they took one last flight around the area to make sure there wasn’t a place that was missed. Aside from a number of small floating islands behind the prison that nobody cared about, the district was pretty much taken over.

Back at the Ultor building, everyone had eventually returned to rest after their successful takeover of New Hades and while they were resting, Johnny, Kinzie and the Equestrians had to wonder where Dane was. Everyone searched the building but he was nowhere to be found.

“Hello? Is anyone here?” came a female voice from the lobby. Everyone who heard the voice immediately went to the lobby to investigate.

Their eyes caught sight of a red-haired woman with red skin, a pair of curved horns and a pair of bat wings on her back that seemed too small to lift her. She wore a purple lace dress, a white choker with a ruby pendant, and black high-heeled boots.

The woman looked at the group of ponies, humans and griffon in surprise before she smiled sheepishly. “Uh, hey, can you help me?”

Pinkamena stepped forward from the group and gave the woman a wary look, “Who are you and what do you need help with?”

“Ahem...Well, I-” she began to sing.

“Without singing, this isn’t Disney.”

“Oh, I’m Jezebel and I need your help to stop the wedding my father is forcing me to go through with.”

Author's Note

City Takeover is complete. Up next: Crashing a wedding and going home.

Here are the names I came up with for the weapons:
Gilda - Greed - Hands of Midas (Avaritia)
Treehugger - Wrath - Machete of Marinette (Ira)
Vinyl - Sloth - Wub Chair (Inertia)
Octavia - Envy - Retribution (Invidia)
Moondancer - Lust - Ring of Lilith (Libido)
Pinkie - Gluttony - Swarm Caller (Gula)
Pinkamena - Pride - Executioner's Scythe (Superbia)