Chapter 1: Hold Me Close To You
"It's positive!" Pinkie Pie hollered with joy, holding the pregnancy test in her right hoof, up in the air. She looked thrilled, even more thrilled than having 100 birthdays in a row. Cheese Sandwich gasped in surprise, scooped up his dear wife in his arms and hugged her tight.
"We're gonna be parents! I can't believe it!" He laughed, and tears of joy trickled from his eyes. Pinkie began to tear up too, a tear running down the curve of her grin.
"I'm so happy! I just want to keep smiling forever! I'm gonna be a mom! You're gonna be a dad!" The giggly ponies shared a joyous moment together in the bathroom of Sugarcube Corner's second floor.
They have been married for a few months now, still living at Sugarcube Corner in Ponyville. Mr. and Mrs. Cake loved Pinkie Pie like a daughter, but they knew Sugarcube Corner couldn't house more than four ponies. They supported Pinkie and Cheese, of course, but they had to start thinking of their own children. Mrs. Cake proposed the idea that Pinkie and Cheese find a house of their own, since they were going to be a family. The couple agreed, bobbling their heads. They found a home in Ponyville, big enough to start a family, but not too big, either. With the help of Applejack, the three ponies renovated the house to their liking... which meant bright colors and candy shaped architecture. It's everything they could have ever wanted in a house to share, it was full of energy, and perfect for a foal. Pinkie and Cheese were ready for a family, and happier than ever.
Two months into the pregnancy, the thick curls in Pinkie Pie's mane began to deflate. She was still the old Pinkie Pie for sure, she didn't stop her party planning business just yet for maternity leave. But Cheese Sandwich noticed something wasn't quite right. Even though he was one of the most energetic and positive stallions ever to exist, he wasn't ignorant of others' feelings. Pinkie Pie didn't burst into giggles as much as she used to at her pancakes having a blueberry smile and whipped cream mustache. She started to sleep longer than usual.
Cheese Sandwich visited her in bed one day. It was 10 AM, two hours past the time Pinkie usually woke up.
"Hey there mama bear!" Cheese entered the room with a wooden tray holding a tall glass of strawberry surprise milkshake, with whipped cream and sprinkles, complete with a cherry on top. Pinkie Pie rolled over to face Cheese in bed. Her eyes looked a little sunken, her mane was frizzy, but not Pinkie frizzy. It lost its volume.
"Oh, morning..." She smiled at her husband, sitting up in bed and rubbing her eyes. She saw the milkshake on the tray, and even though she smiled, she could tell she didn't have much of an appetite.
"Aw, that's super mega nice of you, but my tongue doesn't want a milkshake right now..." There was some despair in the smile she presented, as if she felt bad for not accepting it. Cheese looked at her, to the milkshake.
"Oh, that's okay! Sometimes I don't want a particular food either." That being said, Cheese swooped the glass into his hoof and drank the milkshake in a few quick gulps. Pinkie let out the smallest laugh.
“Soooo, how are you feeling? Any foal kicks yet?” Cheese batted his eyes as he grinned. Pinkie gave an awkward smile.
“I don’t think it exaaaactly works like that... I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow. To see if the foal is growing healthily.” She crawled back under the covers.
“Oh, right! I’ll just let you sleep. I know you’re tired from being up late.” Cheese backed up through the door with the empty glass on the tray, smiled once again, and left his wife to rest again.
Pinkie didn’t stop sleeping for the most part. This continued for weeks, months. She got more irritable, didn’t smile as much as she used to, her mane now was thin and wavy. It was 6 months into the pregnancy now. Pinkie started to show, and the symptoms only got worse. Besides the irritability, she had a rollercoaster of an appetite, being unable to eat breakfast, then gorging on potato chips and nearly a whole cheesecake from the display at Sugarcube Corner. The headaches were excruciating. That cheesecake and chips would eventually come up later in the bathroom. Sometimes she would start crying, and she didn’t know why. She just started weeping. It wasn’t Pinkie Pie. Cheese grew more worrisome as time went on, even though Pinkie assured him she was okay. He gave her all the hugs and cups of tea he could. They attended a Lamaze class too, but it was more of Cheese doing his part. Pinkie just couldn’t get herself to do it. Despite all of the mental issues, the foal was developing great, as their obstetrician Doctor Celia Care said.
“Your little girl is developing great. There you can see her little legs.” Celia pointed to the screen of the ultrasound monitor. A blurry, but noticeable foal was able to be seen in the black void. Pinkie laid down on the exam bed with no expression. Cheese looked at the screen in awe.
“Wow, she’s so tiny... like a tiny cantaloupe!” He looked back to his wife, expecting some sort of reaction, but Pinkie kept staring up at the ceiling. He was about to hold her hoof, but Doctor Care beckoned him to step outside of the exam room with her. He followed her out of the room, leaving Pinkie alone. In the hallway, ponies passed by.
“I’m sure you’ve noticed your wife isn’t herself lately...” Doctor Care adjusted the stethoscope around her neck.
”Well, of course! I’m... getting worried. Really worried.”
”Listen, I assure you this will pass. It’s pregnancy depression. A lot of mares gets it with their first foal. I personally did myself, and look at me. Obstetrician of Ponyville Medical Center with a 2 year old filly in the employee break room.” Doctor Care looked proud of her accomplishments as a doctor and mother. “But seriously, I need you to know that this is normal. Just be there for her, okay? Take some time off the factory work. Give her some herbal tea, massage her back or hooves... I know you love her very much. Anypony can see that. There’s some websites out there for husbands dealing with their wives’ pregnancy. You should take a look when you have time. Cheese Sandwich, you’re both a great husband, and will be a great father, okay?” Doctor Care gave an empathetic smile. Cheese Sandwich was looking at the flooring, at his reflection. He sighed, looked up, and faintly smiled.
“Got it... thanks, doc.” They shook hooves and went back into the exam room.
8 1/2 months into the pregnancy, and emotions ran high. Pinkie got snappier. All symptoms worsened. Her mane was perfectly straight, not a curly strand of hair in sight. Cheese himself had trouble sleeping now too. Taking Doctor Care’s advice, he went on the internet to do research on how he should help his wife... but that led to a rabbit hole of foal fatalities and birth defects. In particular, he read that a small percent of first time mothers can die during birth under certain circumstances. The foal could also die during the birth if something goes wrong, if it comes out the wrong way, if the cord is tangled around its neck... this all gave Cheese extreme anxiety. This was just a possibility, right? Doesn’t mean it will happen! But a small percentage is still a percent... no, stop overthinking. But who’s to say it won’t happen? What if Pinkie dies? What if their foal dies? What if they both die and he’s left all alone, and he dies too because of the loneliness? It was all too much for Cheese to deal with.
One day, as the due date grew closer, Pinkie pie waddled to the kitchen counter. Another five minutes, another bowl of mashed potatoes with cheddar cheese and barbecue sauce. Cheese watched close by.
“Are you sure you don’t need help?” There were bags under his eyes too, and a horrible 5 o’clock shadow. Pinkie whipped her head around to give him a scowl.
“I told you, I’m FINE. I can get my own food.” She snapped, continuing to pour lots of shredded cheese into her bowl. Cheese frowned.
“...how about an apple instead? Applejack brought them this morning... they look great! Healthy fruit for a healthy mama, right?” He held up a shiny red delicious apple in his hoof. Pinkie pie put a spoonful of potato in her mouth.
“No. I’m a grown mare, I can decide what I eat.” She picked up her bowl and slowly walked into the living room. Cheese followed, sadly.
“...Pinkie?” He hesitated to talk but did anyway. She sat down on the couch with a groan and gave him an impatient look. “I know this has been very difficult for you... but I think you need to take it easier now, especially since we’re getting close to the due date.” He rubbed his arm out of anxiety. Pinkie growled and stood up, regretting it as it hurt her back.
“Are you the one with a damn foal in her belly? Are you waking up to pee all hours of the night? Huh?” She got close to his face and looked him in his big, green eyes. “I don’t see you feeling miserable. I want this over with.” Pinkie sat back down. Cheese was about to tear up, but held back.
“...what ever happened to wanting to keep smiling forever? You haven’t smiled in months... you’re... where’s my Pinkie Pie?” He walked over to the couch and cupped Pinkie’s cheek. “My Pinkie Pie never swears out of frustration... or at all, really. You didn’t even attend Gummy’s birthday party... his catfish cake wasn’t like the one you make every year.” Pinkie Pie stared at the TV. Then it all came flooding out. Her brow furrowed, her jaw clenched. She sprang from her seat on the couch, as did Cheese.
“You know what, Cheese? This is fucking hard! I don’t even feel alive! You’ve seen me depressed before, why the hell is this different? I don’t know what to do! I’m not ready to be a mom! I’m not ready!” She hollered, her hooves holding her face, eyes wide and full of tears. Cheese Sandwich was in shock at what just came out of his wife’s mouth. But her emotions weren’t the only thing that came flooding out.
The floor was wet.
Author's Note
The title of both the story and chapter's are all lyrics from Jack Stauber's Baby Hotline!
Chapter 2: Please Dial Nine To Get Out
The foal was coming.
Both Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich stood in shock at each other.
"... go get Applejack. NOW." Pinkie Pie brushed a strand of her mane from her eye.
Cheese Sandwich zipped out the door, and ran all the way to Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack was the fastest pony in town who could pull a wheelbarrow faster than a jackrabbit on a hot day in June. Rarity was pregnant at this time too, though only a few weeks. They had already had a filly two years earlier. An exhausted Cheese Sandwich fell to the ground at the farmhouse doorstep. Applejack answered, and automatically knew what he needed. The sunny orange mare strapped herself to a wooden cart, pulled Cheese into the cart by his tail, and galloped back into town to retrieve her distant cousin.
After carefully getting into the cart, Pinkie and Cheese were driven to Ponyville Medical Center. The emergency room was fairly filled. Ponies with sprained arms, bucking legs broken, colds, the usual. Applejack swung by the entrance to let Cheese assist Pinkie inside. The front desk receptionist saw she was noticeably pregnant, so she immediately buzzed the medical staff to bring a stretcher ASAP. In a few intense minutes, riding elevators and swinging through hallways, the couple were settled in a private room in the maternity ward. Groaning in pain, Pinkie was definitely not feeling herself. Her dearest Cheese Sandwich sat beside her bed as they waited for their obstetrician.
Cheese looked crazed with anxiety. The beep of the medical equipment was piercing.
"Where is the doctor..." Pinkie grumbled as she held her abdomen. Cheese looked around the room.
"Soon..." He tapped his hoof on the flooring. A few minutes passed. Dr. Care finally came into the room, looking calm, despite being about to deliver a foal.
"Oh, I'm so sorry for the wait, the staff elevator is down." The mare quickly washed her hooves in the room's sink and sat in front of Pinkie. "Alright, contractions are 4 minutes apart... you're getting close." Dr. Care peered at the heart monitor. Usually pregnant mares' heart rate increases from the tension and fear. Pinkie's didn't change... despite being in pain, she still laid there on the hospital bed, looking at the ceiling, wincing time from time. "Well, Cheese, I'm sure you don't want to hear all this mare talk... plus, I think you need some time to relax." Dr. Care smiled, trying to lighten his mood. "Go on, the waiting room is down the hall to the left. Talk to the pony at the desk and she'll give you something to get your mind off this, okay? Everything will be alright." She walked over and patted his back. Cheese flinched, coming back into reality. He grinned awkwardly and stood up to exit the room. He looked back at Pinkie on the bed... worry eating at him from the inside. Dr. Care was on the room phone calling for assistance to deliver a foal. Cheese slowly walked out of the room, down the hall...
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. It felt as if the clock was mocking Cheese Sandwich as he waited for his wife and foal. What was happening in the room? Is she okay? Is their foal okay? What if something goes wrong? Is something bad happening? He's gonna lose her. No, he already did. She stopped being Pinkie Pie months ago. How much pain is she in? Is she going to make it? Will their foal make it? Are they putting her through more pain? No, Doctor Care wouldn't do that. Or would she? You can't trust anypony in this world, can you? How do you know who to trust?
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. His skin started to crawl. The waiting room was dead silent. Nothing but the clock to be heard. Other ponies were waiting there as well, presumably for their families also in labor. They all looked so calm, not bothered... How did they do it? How could they just read magazines while something horrible could be happening right down the hall?
The room wasn't quiet now. Muffled, bloodcurdling screaming could be heard down the hall. It made the waiting ponies and receptionist look up, but they knew this was normal. Labor was not a walk through Canterlot Garden. But Cheese never heard this before... and it was life changing. His heart dropped inside his chest. His bloodshot eyes were even wilder. How could this be such a normal occurrence for everypony's lives?
Cheese waited for hours. Hours. Hours. How long does it take to give a stallion the news if his wife and foal are dead? Cheese shook his head. It was almost 6 PM now. A few of the waiting ponies had left, with their foals in their arms. He eventually dozed into a deep sleep... an uncomfortable sleep, since he fell asleep sitting up. A bit later, hoofsteps approached him. "Cheese Sandwich?"
He jolted awake, looking around.
"Wha-wh-are they alive?" He asked, frazzled. It was Dr. Care standing in front of him. She looked tired herself.
"Sorry to wake you up, but... your foal was delivered healthy." She smiled softly. Cheese let out a big sigh of relief, smiling.
"Oh, thank Boneless..." The doctor lifted her hoof, cutting him off.
"But Pinkie will need to stay here for a while." His grin disappeared. Dr. Care wiped some sweat from her forehead.
"During the delivery, she bled quite a lot... that isn't unusual for birth, but without a doubt, she will need to stay here for about a day or two to recover. I had to give her the... strongest painkiller we can administer in such intense situations." Cheese looked down. "She went through a lot of pain. But once she recovers, we give her a little transfusion, she gets rest, she'll be able to go home." The mare patted his back, trying to comfort him.
"...would you like to see your newborn daughter, Mr. Sandwich?"
"...yeah... yeah. I would." Poor Cheese Sandwich wiped the wetness from his eyes.
"Alright. Follow me." Doctor Care always grinned with pride after a successful birth. She led Cheese down to Pinkie's room.
It was very quiet now. They entered the room silently. Pinkie Pie laid on the bed, on her back. Her eyes were wide. Blank. Devoid of... anything, really. She looked disturbed. The beep of the heart monitor kept going. This time, it wasn't freaking Cheese out. This time, it was Pinkie being tormented by the endless loop of electronic noise.
Two nurses were cleaning Pinkie pie up, as well as the area. There was... a lot of blood, but it was cleaned up by then. Next to the bed was a small plastic cart. Inside, wrapped in a blanket, was their little girl. Nine months' worth of emotional turmoil and pain led to this... this little, dusty colored, warm foal...
It was all worth it when Cheese Sandwich saw his first born daughter in that plastic hospital cart.
He was speechless... she was perfect. Her color was... confusing. Stone gray, a little frizzy mane and tail of maroon. No matter. Her maternal family had gray coats, it's just genetics. But wow... that was his foal. He was a dad. The tiny foal turned over as she slept.
"Go on. Hold her! Gently, of course." Doctor Care tapped Cheese's shoulder. Cheese couldn't stop smiling... one of the two nurses gently picked up the foal, and carefully put her in Cheese's arms. The tiny little pony was so warm. Fast asleep... Again, he started to cry. But this time, those tears were of pride. Of love.
"...I love her so much already..." He put his snout to the baby pony's nose. The foal didn't really notice. Doctor Care and her nurses watched in glee. "She's the absolute cutest foal I've ever seen... right, Pinkie?"
Pinkie. Cheese almost forgot about her for a minute. Pinkie Pie laid there like a dead slug in the bed. "Pinkie?" Cheese looked at her. She couldn't speak... or, there was nothing to speak of. She watched the line of the heart monitor spike every second. How can the monitor still go if she didn't even feel alive? She felt weak. She couldn't even sit up on her own. The nurse had to move the bed using the elevation remote.
"...Doc? Is she okay?" Cheese's anxiety began to creep up on him again. Doctor Care gave an... understanding look as she approached closer to him.
"You see, Cheese... A good percentage of new mothers suffer from postpartum depression. It seems your wife will be experiencing it harshly. Even moreso with her... underlying mental illness." She was referring to Pinkie's bipolar II disorder. That was an entire can of worms on its own. Doctor Care looked a little stressed, which is unusual for a mare with so much medical experience as her. "How about we go outside while the nurses prep the baby for the nursery?" Cheese nodded, gently placing his foal into a nurse's arms. Doctor Care tried to remain collected as she led Cheese outside the hall.
"Cheese Sandwich, as a medical professional, I must always be honest with my patients. No matter the cost." Doctor Care put her hoof to her forehead. "I am... genuinely concerned for your wife's mental state. Pinkie Pie has gone through a lot in the last few hours... things you will never experience. And hopefully will never witness. The combination of postpartum depression, her bipolar disorder, genuine discomfort... I believe we may need to admit her to our psychiatric ward for the next few days... possibly weeks." It pained Doctor Care to even suggest that.
Cheese nearly couldn't believe what he just heard. He began to get cold and clammy.
"W- psychiatric ward? Weeks? I-I don't know about that-" He adjusted the collar of his shirt, nervously.
"She is completely catatonic. This could last for up to a year, Cheese. And knowing her history..." This always made the both of them uncomfortable to talk about. Both of them winced. "...her history of self harm attempts... at this time, those urges are at an all time high for her. We need to monitor her. And the foal. Postpartum can make a mother do things she never thought of doing." Doctor Care looked at her patient's husband with great worry.
Cheese Sandwich looked down to his hooves. In the reflection of the floor tile, he saw a stallion. A tired, overworked, stressed stallion. He breathed in.
"...alright. Whatever is best for my Pinkie." He knew he would miss her greatly, but she needed safety. He trusted Doctor Care with his life, his wife's life, and his foal's life.
Author's Note
Here's where my CheesePie foal is introduced! She'll play a much bigger part later on. 
