Author's Note

Rewritten 06/02/2025 You know the drill, let me know if I messed anything up plot/grammar/spelling-wise
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gL8JMqjomI

Royal Pain (Rewritten)

Her Highness, Princess Celestia Helios Sol Invictus, Restorer of Harmony, Diarch of the Sun, Long May She Reign, etc, etc, was having trouble paying attention. That wasn't to say her royal court was ever particularly exciting or even a thing worth paying attention to, but today more than any other seemed to slog on and on without any end in sight. Surprisingly, it wasn't even the fault of the annoying nobility who had come to rant and rave and plead their meaningless cases that was causing her such suffering. Well, maybe it was still roughly 97% that, but that remaining 3% felt heavier than she could possibly imagine.

She could still picture Twilight's unmoving body as it was lowered slowly into the mahogany casket. She had insisted on paying for the entire funeral proceedings of course. It was her own fault in a way, sending Twilight out into the wide world at such a young age with little in the way of safeguards. Celestia could still feel her sister's tears running down her neck in wet streaks as she tried her best to comfort her amongst the mourning ponies and frigid air. She could still hear the howls of anguished sobbing from Shining Armor pounding her mind, the wailing cries echoing for days after even as his wife did her best to act as some means of comfort. She could even see the broken expressions on the faces of Twilight's parents whenever she shut her eyes. All those piercing, crushing sensations... they just wouldn't go away. They wouldn't stop haunting her.

It wasn't the first time Celestia has lost a pony close to her, and she knew it certainly wouldn't be the last. Yet somehow this death came so soon, so unexpectedly, that it stung her heart with mournful daggers, an emotional wound that refused to scab over and heal. She knew the pain would slowly numb, the years to come acting as a balm... but the scars would remain with her forever.

Raven, ever dutiful to her mistress, had noticed the lapse in Celestia's mental state before she was even done her first audience. Quietly striding over to a nearby guard, Raven tapped him gently on the shoulder before flicking her head towards the Princess. "Inform the ponies still in the waiting chamber that her Highness will be ending court after this pony. Do not give a reason." She instructed in a soft tone, quietly enough to not disturb the long-winded speech being given by one 'Oversized Breeches'. The guard silently nodded in response before he left to tell those waiting outside to come back another day, much to their disgruntled complaints.

"-and that is why the point-oh-three percent tax raise on the noble class was a terrible move, likely to cause the entire Equestrian government to destabilize, raise mass riots across the land, and cause the return of Tirek. Truly it was a mistake of monumentous proportions, and needs to not only be removed... but the course must be reversed while we still have time! Now, if you would instead implement a full tax-break on my... I mean... Equestria's industrial sector, it would certainly be a decision grounded in Harmony, Friendship, and General Goodness!" Mr. Breeches finished, his patented 'Winning Smile' emblazoned on his heavily perfumed visage.

Celestia on the other hoof, had not paid even a moment's attention to the minutiae of her 'beloved' subject's speech. Her mind was still miles away, in that cold and windy graveyard in Ponyville. Yet she still maintained her mask, nodding her head as she heard his overly wordy speech wind down into a self-important silence. "I see. I promise I will look into your concern, my little pony." She spoke in her wonderfully serene voice, perfectly disguising the mild disdain underneath as she teleported his presented papers in an overfull filing cabinet with absolutely no intention of even giving them a glance at a later date.

Bidding him a good day, she rubbed the exhaustion from her eyes before righting her posture for the next pony... only for there to be no next pony. Instead, her loyal assistant returned to her side with a soft smile and nod. "My Lady, please rest. I've sent the rest of the complain- pardon me, the rest of your subjects away until the morning. Take care of yourself." Celestia just blinked slowly in response before nodding and ascending from her throne, silently making her way out of the hall.

She didn't remember much of the walk back to her bedroom. The halls seemed dim and colorless despite the many torches and hanging tapestries displaying a millennia of victory over the forces of evil and chaos. And the few portraits depicting Chaos beating her in a food fight last year. She could have sworn Discord cheated in that match, but a deal was a deal… yet she couldn’t find it in herself to give the picture an irritated huff like she usually did. She spent these centuries of fighting and conflict to ensure her ponies could live their lives so happily and carefree, but what did it matter? Why couldn’t she have that same happiness? She had finally had another pony to call her own… only for her to get stolen away so young. Cadence was already an adult by the time she was adopted into the royal family, but Twilight? Twilight was the filly she raised. The filly she loved. Twilight wasn’t just her student, Celestia couldn’t help but consider the bookish young mare… a daughter.

As she continued her slow walk, she never noticed the worried expressions on every guard, maid, and servant she passed. She didn't hear their whispered comments about her mental state, or the soft pitying glances. She just… didn’t care.

Upon returning at last to her personal quarters, she didn’t wait for even a moment before levitating the royal garments off of herself and tossing them casually onto the floor. She didn’t care if they got damaged, none of it mattered. Who was she even keeping up this persona of a calm and wise ruler for? Her sister already knew the real her, her servants had learned long ago. There had only ever been one pony allowed this far into the castle that had been worth keeping up appearances for.

"-lestia!"

Even now she could hear her student calling her name, voice muffled from the distant memories like a thick pane of glass.

"-pen the window Prin-"

How long would these phantom noises haunt her? Must she continue to hear the ghosts that wouldn’t let her properly mourn? The memories were still so fresh, she could picture her student: Her bright eyes, shaggy unkept mane, hoof repeatedly smacking her bedroom window while she shouted at her to open the latc-

Hold on, that wasn’t right. She didn’t have any memories like that. Why did she?

”Celestia! Please!”

Celestia, for her credit, only stared at the lavender Alicorn repeatedly banging on her window for the briefest moment before she reacted. In a flurry of motion, the solar diarch rushed to throw up the latch, tossing the windows wide open as the cold winter air bit into her fur.

The moment the accursed glass barrier was removed, Twilight tumbled in through the window and smashed head-first into the ground. Well, it seems even in death some things never changed, like her lack of aerial agility. Grumbling woozily, Twilight slowly rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling. “That was… not my best flight.” She mumbled, and her teacher couldn’t help but mentally agree.

"Twilight? Is that really you?" Celestia whispered, her leg partially outstretched but not quite touching Twilight, as if fearing that the pony would vanish at the slightest contact.

"In the flesh..." Her student grumbled in response, slowly rolling over and pulling herself back onto her hooves. “I still don’t get how anypony is supposed to fly with these things. According to all known laws of aviat-”

Celestia leapt forwards and wrapped her student in a hug upon hearing that confirmation, interrupting the academic rant. "But... you were dead! How... when..." For the first time in over a millennium of careful political intrigue and dedicated ruling, Celestia was absolutely speechless. The ruler who had focused so much time and effort into her charisma and wit could find no words to outline her confusion, shock, and overwhelming joy. She just kept flapping her mouth, stopping mid-sentence as if discarding the words that wouldn’t properly convey her emotions. After a few more false starts, she finally managed to blather out in a rather inelegant manner. "I buried you with my own hooves! How are you alive?"

"I've been getting that a lot." The disgruntled alicorn answered unhelpfully as she hugged her teacher back, grip much stronger than Celestia remembered. "I'm surprised your first instinct isn't to question if I'm a changeling."

Well, that was enough to pour metaphorical ice water over their reunion. Narrowing her eyes, Celestia suddenly pushed Twilight away from her. "Well, are you a changeling?"

"Why? Would it matter if I was?"

Celestia huffed and released Twilight to pinch her brow with her hoof. "Well, yes! The entire race of them were present at the invasion, you'd be a war criminal!"

Twilight only blinked in confusion. "But... I already am a war criminal? I'm fairly certain near indefinite imprisonment in stone is not how we're supposed to treat prisoners, but we still calcified Discord into a laws ornament for a thousand years"

The solar demi-goddess only blinked and lowered her hoof, considering the facts in her head. Harmony certainly seemed to lean on the… extreme options when it came to punishing evil-doers. "That's... a valid point."

Twilight nodded as she finally managed to get her wings folded back in correctly. There really were too many muscles involved with those things, how was she supposed to remember which ones to tense and which ones to relax? "Technically, you’ve also broken international guidelines and our own laws with the imprisonment of Luna to the moon. It's quite clearly stated in section 4, passage 3 of the Equus Code of Sentient Rights, any captured combatant has specific inalienable rights and privil-"

Celestia just sighed and placed her hoof over Twilight's mouth before she could continue onwards and bring about anymore realizations of ethical and legal jeopardy. She really didn’t need the Harmonic Nations getting on their case right now. "Okay, okay. I get it. You're definitely Twilight. So was the pony we buried a changeling, then? Or some sort of illusion?"

Twilight just pushed her mentor’s hoof away from her face and shook her head, grumbling to herself. "Nope, that was me. Waking up underground was not very enjoyable, by the way. Just wanted to point that out. A lot of dirt and digging… and the worms. Ugh." She shuddered.

Celestia blinked a few times… before sitting down as the shock drove her legs weak. "You mean... you were buried alive? But Canterlot's finest doctors ran you through every medical examination possible. You were dead!"

Twilight nodded. "Yes. I was.”

“No heartbeat, no breath, not a spark in your brain! Dead!” Celestia continued, jabbing her hoof out almost accusingly.

“Uh-huh. And I have no idea why I'm not dead now. Or at least... I'm sort of not dead? My heart still hasn't gotten the memo." Twilight explained, rolling her eyes.

"Your heart?"

Twilight only shrugged and kicked at one of the gemstones that had come loose from Celestia’s royal garments when they were so carelessly discarded. "It hasn't been beating, which is mildly concerning."

Celestia suddenly stopped, mind ticking away. There was no way… "Your heart isn't beating at all?" She asked slowly, leaning in and lighting her horn. Twilight just shrugged again. “Well… maybe…” A small beam of light gently shot out from Celestia’s horn prodded at Twilight's chest, the sensation fairly unpleasant. "Oh.”

“Oh?”

The diarch cleared her throat. “Well... that explains things, I suppose. And raises more questions."

Twilight tilted her head to the side. "In what way?" She asked, rubbing the tingling spot where Celestia's magic had touched her.

Celestia just gave her one more glance before exhaling a long, weary, heavy sigh. Motioning with her head for Twilight to follow her, she stood up and began to make her way towards her personal liquor cabinet. "You're undead."