The scent of sex in the royal chamber was a thick, pungent aroma. Heavy enough that one could almost taste it just by breathing through the mouth.

The entire room was in disarray. Sheets were torn, an entire wardrobe broke, a curtain was in tatters, and that's ignoring the love juice drenched carpet. It seemed almost impossible, but with some magic, and several gallons of water provided by the guards, the pony princess and human had perhaps the best night of lovemaking in equestrian history.

It was fantastic, but now as the passion died away to sleep, Anon was tucked away into the depths of his inner sanctum of slumber.

Captains log, Stardate 41209.2. The Enterprise has just entered the Fantasia system to rendezvous with the Millennium Falcoln. After negotiations with an alliance, we hope to discuss matters of pursuing the malignant AI entity known as Glados, who is currently taking refuge on planet Kake 3.

Captain Anon sat in his chair looking at the Falcoln in front of the Enterprise, "Open all hailing frequencies Number One. We should keep this discussion brief. Who knows when the Romulans could attack."

Sans nodded, and with a skeletal finger pressed a button on the console before pulling out to play the 'Cantina Band' on his trombone.

Anon nodded with an approving look, "Good thinking Number One. Music ought to cool the tension between us." The music ended and was replaced with 'I'm Han Solo'. Vader appeared on the screen doing the floss, and Anon blinked a few times, mesmerized by the dark lord's skillful dancing before shrugging, "Well, if you can't beat them, join them." He began dancing and the whole Bridge floor followed suit. Spock taking center and doing the worm while Q and Scotty did an Irish jig.

In the corner of his eye, Anon saw a blur of blue. Blinking a couple of times he felt a veil on his mind lift as he focused on a blue alicorn mare with a dark flowing mane appearing as if it were full of stars. She was looking at him with a mix of confusion and awe.

A sudden wave of lucidity hit him and the music died. Everyone but they disappeared on the bridge. "Uhh… hi there?"

"Greetings Anon." She gave a short bow, "That is thy name is it not?" The mare asked, looking him over with an appraising gaze.

"I think so, and who might you be, and what is going on here exactly?" He looked around the bridge and space outside.

"We are Princess Luna, Goddess of the night, and Ruler of Equestria." She did a pony version of a curtsy, "Currently we are in the private domain of your dreamscape. I must say it is the most unique we have encountered thus far in our long life." She chuckled.

"Wait, this is a dream? Awesome! I always wanted to try lucid dreaming." Suddenly the dream shifted into renaissance Italy landscape with Anon draped in a white cloak atop a building.

The sudden shift of scenery took the lunar princess by surprise, "By the stars! The detail of this dream is staggering! How is this possible?"

Anon shrugged, the hood of his cloak hiding his face, "2000 plus hours of gameplay I imagine. Even through all of the sequels, Brotherhood was by far the best game Ubisoft created."

She blinked, "We understood none of that so we will assume that this was some manner of… human jargon."

Anon looked apologetic, "Sorry, I forgot for a moment how different your world is from mine. I haven't explored very much, but I have a sneaking suspicion that your world is quite primitive from mine."

She scoffed and pointed out to the city, "Primitive? This hardly seems more modern than the cities that existed before my banishment. In fact, it's very close to what Papa described to me."

Papa? Anon ignored it and instead looked out, "Oh, actually this is how it looked several centuries ago on Earth. This is what my home looked like before I left." Suddenly they found themselves in Uptown New York. People walked up and down city blocks, cars moved along the road, and Skyscrapers hung tall and proud above them. Luna gaped at the magnitude.

"We've come a long way since the Roman Empire, your highness. Instantaneous global communications, advanced medicine, and science, we've even put a man on the moon and are working towards expanding out into the depths of space beyond to other planets and stars. I should mention that I'm probably only scratching the surface." He omitted everything sucky going on before he left, but he was trying to make his species look impressive.

"Extraordinary." Luna looked around in awe, "Papa always spoke highly of his home, but this… Manehattan isn't even this big, and that left me speechless."

"Manehattan? Wait, wha…" He shook his head, "Never mind. If I think about it too hard my head is going to hurt. Did you have business here princess?"

She turned back at him as soon as she was addressed and cleared her throat. "I've read the letter Twilight Sparkle left my sister. I simply had to verify whether her founding was true." She gazed at him with bedroom eyes, "And I am quite pleased to confirm it with thy own eyes." She walked up to him and Anon gulped. Her gaze lingered on his face before turning to her hands and suddenly her composure dissolved as a fierce crimson blush spread over her face. She stepped back, "A-apologies Sir Anon! I'm afraid mine own feelings are clouded at the moment. Sleep well!" Suddenly she popped out of existence, leaving Anon alone and completely confused. He scratched the back of his head and sighed, "Why do I suddenly have the feeling I'm going to die one day from my pelvis being crushed?" With another sigh, he shrugged and suddenly found himself in a leather duster. "Worry for future me. For now, it's time I begin to believe." He put on a pair of sunglasses and shot out into the air.

___

Anon stretched on the bed with a yawn. Yellow sunlight from the balcony hit his face with a pleasant warmth. He looked up and around to find he was all by himself in clean sheets with the room in perfect condition as if his nightly romp with the princess never happened. Either the maids were exceptionally quick and thorough, or magic has proven once again to be a badass essential skill. Note to self. Learn how to do magic as quickly as possible. Climbing out of bed, he realized that his clothes were nowhere to be seen. Thinking back, he didn't believe he arrived with them. Before he could ponder how much of a pickle that left him, he flinched as he noticed a unicorn maid standing at the corner of the room previously undetected. She was rose color with a light pastel blue mane, wearing a Gothic Lolita style dress. She looked through her half-moon glasses at him with a rather unfazed expression, bowing slightly, "Sir Anonymous Nemo, a pleasure to be at your service. I am head maid to her royal highness, Rosey Andromeda."

"Uh, Howdy." Anon reciprocated while covering himself with the blanket, "Likewise." A thought occurred to him. Did she say my last name? He didn't recall giving it to Celestia, who could have been the only probable person to tell this mare. He ran with a guess, "I see you're quite adept at collecting information."

She looked up retaining her stoic expression, "You are a deal quicker than most. I can see why her highness likes you. Hardly anypony pays mind to the maid." Maybe for someone who hasn't watched hundreds of spy or mystery films. Anon thought. "I have instructions to be at your personal care once you have awoken. First I shall bathe you, and then you will head down at breakfast to meet the princesses. Come now, we have a tight schedule."

She's really cut and dry, Anon thought. It would make sense considering he guessed correctly that she was the Princess's Intelligence. "Uh… you wouldn't happen to have something to cover me with would you?" He asked, "My species is a bit shy with exposure without clothing."

"This should not be a concern. Her Highness has provided for you some daily attire." She replied, "However, it would be improper to wear them before you bathe." She walked towards the chamber's bathroom. "Hopefully my presence will not be too much of an issue?"

Good to know Celestia though ahead. "That shouldn't be a problem. I should warn you in case you haven't figured it out that touching me has a… unique side effect on you ponies."

She seemed almost insulted by the insinuation at that suggestion, "The princess has made me aware of this phenomenon. In this case, I shall aid you magically without any physical contact. Come along now. I did say we do have a tight schedule." She pulled out a pocket watch with a frown, "Less time now. I implore you to hurry up lest I levitate you over Sir."

Anon sighed and complied, standing up out of bed fully in the nude. For the barest second her composure faltered before switching back to her stony gaze. She walked right into the bath chamber, which was almost as big as the bedroom itself. Mirrors and golden wall ornamented with jewels lined the space. The bath built into the floor sat in the middle of the tiled space, seeming much more like a hot tub lined also with gold at the edges. The lavish nature of the room was almost enough to break his peasant brain that operated on a limited budget Ramen fueled diet.

Suddenly Anon was plucked from the ground in a light blue aura before being properly dunked into the warm waters, "Apologies sir, but you were taking far too long staring blankly." She suddenly had a lufa, scrubber, and an assortment of bottles in her magical grip.

Anon gagged and coughed some of the water out, "Ugh, that wasn't very cash money of you." He groaned as his hair was suddenly assaulted by cold goo being thoroughly pressed and rubbed as it foamed up. Simultaneously the lufa worked its way over the exposed areas of his body.

"I don't even know what that means." She replied as she lifted him from the waters and began working on his lower regions, "If it is an assertion of displeasure with my care, which I assume it is, just know that I am a platinum class servant completely unrivaled in my field. There are many reasons besides my special talent as to why I am the personal carer of her royal highness."

"It is an impressive feat, I will say. Still, though, I feel my comfort isn't quite being taken into account here." He finished saying before a bucket of the water was dumped over him.

"I do apologize, but I did mention that there was a sensitive time frame. I may not know who or what you are, or even your specific relationship to the princesses, but I must make sure everything in this castle runs as smoothly as is possible. A little discomfort shouldn't cause us to deviate from that now should it?" As soon as the soap washed away from him, she pulled him out and began drying him off with a water purging spell.

"You do have a point." Anon admitted, "I suppose it is moot to argue with you."

"Wise of you to consider." After she was done with that, she pulled out an old trunk that looked well used. It was smooth and worn, and decorated with intricately carved leafy vines that twirled and extended inward towards the center where Anon could barely make out a script written in what looked like Italian 'Hai qualcosa chiamato "determinazione". quindi finché resisti, finché fai ciò che è nel tuo cuore. Credo che tu possa fare la cosa giusta.' "What's it say?"

"Hard to determine since this language only perpetuated amongst ancient inner circle nobles and died out." Rosey explained, "The Princess herself barely even remembers it, but she believes it's a quote referencing the ancient fable of the Mountain King."

"That's pretty neat." He replied.

Without further time needed to be wasted, Rosey clicked the case open to pull out a garb that left Anon speechless. Blue robes lined with intricate gold symbols and pauldrons. "This is a personal artifact from the Princess that she wishes as a gift to you. The runework carved into the gold frame shares similar protective charms as her own regalia, and the fabric is resistant to any sort of physical damage. It is entirely a masterpiece of perfect defensive magic."

Anon gaped, eyes wide, "Holy shit. Shouldn't this be some sort of end game loot? This… this is incredible! Haha!" He laughed. It was certainly an upgrade from his flea market suit and tie.

"I'll be sure to let the princess know how much you appreciate her gift. Now let's put it on you." Despite his strange anatomy,, she put it on him in record time. The robes were fitted to him almost perfectly. He turned to the mirror and stood there stunned for a second. In it was a man of great physically imposing demeanor with a regal air about him. Is that… me? He thought. It was the first time he actually saw himself since arriving. He still looked like himself, only his more flattering features were amplified, while his less embellishing features were carved out. Overall his physiognomy was perfect. As much of a gift as it was, he found it slightly unsettling. It was easy to hate someone who looked this good. You often begin to think that life was served on a silver platter for such folks. Now for example. He just bedded a princess in her lavish castle. Everything he ever had in life before this he earned. It wasn't glamorous nor fun, often painful in fact, but he always carried the ideology that he had to work to have good things happen to him. Such luck was unheard of, and it was frankly overwhelming. But life wasn't supposed to be taken for granted, not even this one. Doing the only thing he could to combat these feeling, he looked at himself with determination and resolve to pay back these gifts granted by him. This world called to his aid afterall, and he was sure as hell going to try and save it. Even if it killed him. He turned, feeling strength course through his body. This was the new him, and he needed to own it, "I'm ready." He turned to the maid.

Rosey actually looked impressed, "The outfit suits you. I suppose this is that masculine charm that her Highness was referring to." She nodded, "Follow me please."

Anon nodded and did as he was told, strolling out of the room and into the halls, "I've been meaning to ask about that. You don't seem surprised that I am a male."

She shook her head, "Princess Celestia receives a variety of strange and unique guests from time to time. It's a part of life here at the castle." She replied. "Though," She looked at him again, "I will admit that you are one of the more unique guests we've had in a while."

The two passed by guards who stood straighter upon their appearance. Several more did the same with tense looks about them. Anon frowned, "What's up with them?"

Rosey exchanged looks between the room, "Word spreads fast around here, and guards like to gossip. I am afraid one of the leading rumors is that a mystical male came from above to challenge the Princess to a duel within her bed chambers before in a powerful shockwave, formed a powerful bond akin to the Flames of Friendship." He could feel her internal eye roll, "Since she confirmed that she was indeed visited by a male fitting your description, it began to spread like a wildfire." She explained with a look of disdain.

"So my presence intimidates them?" Anon said, surprised.

"Precisely." She nodded. They passed another troop along with a sharp turn, "Inquiry if you wouldn't mind?"

"Shoot," Anon replied.

"How did you find yourself in the princess's chamber? It is quite unlike her Highness to invite anypony in such manner. Let alone a being completely unfamiliar in Equestria."

Anon scratched the back of his head, "Well… it's a bit complicated, and from what I've seen of you ponies, you wouldn't understand anyway."

"Indulge me."

Where to start? Anon thought, "So, you know I'm male. You must then know of the… qualities that entail."

Rosey raised her brow, "I am quite familiar with filly stories referring to your kind. Are you proposing that they are valid?"

Anon shrugged, "I don't know the stories you ponies tell in detail, but regarding procreation, that is very much an ability I possess, and why the princess needs me."

She tilted her head for a moment in thought, "Forgive me, I will end my inquiries there for now." She stopped by a large double-sided door, doing a quick look over towards Anon. She stepped back satisfied before opening the door with her magic. A long dining table extended away from him where the white and blue alicorn princesses sat. Luna was a mid-bite in a croissant before choking on it as soon as she stared in his direction while Celestia looked up with warm fascination.

"Anon, so glad for you to join us. Come sit with us. I hope you like our gift to you." She nodded to the maid, who curtsied back before walking to stand next to four other maids stationed in the room.

"I love this outfit very much so. I hardly recall ever wearing something that fits so perfectly." Anon replied before walking along the table to find a spot near the princesses.

Celestia smiled, "I'm glad you approve. It fits you well." She turned to the slightly shorter blue mare, "Anon, allow me to introduce my sister Luna."

The mare looked a bit nervous, but after a deep breath, she turned to him with her composure reestablished, "A pleasure to see you face to face Anon. I am glad you arranged to meet with us." She greeted.

Anon walked over and sat next to them, "Likewise. That dream thing you did was really cool. I dreamt lucidly for the rest of the night."

"We are glad. Apologies are due, however. I should not have left you so abruptly. That was most rude of me."

Anon waved his hands, "You're cool. From what I hear, I can understand that being the only other human you've ever seen might be a bit… overwhelming." From the table, he picked out some scones and boiled eggs with a side of grapes.

"My father was a great man. Perhaps the best to have ever walked both worlds. One can only strive to live by his example." She said proudly.

Celestia smiled, "Well said sister, though I have a feeling that our good friend here may prove to be a worthy successor to his title as Human Hero." She cleared her throat and looked at him, "Speaking of titles, I have already arranged for the necessary legal work and documentation for your new role as Reproductive Officer. I had to jump through a few hoops, but being a princess does have its benefits at times."

"I appreciate the gesture." Anon replied, " On that note, are you..?"

"Pregnant?" Celestia giggled, "After last night I'd be surprised if I wasn't."

Luna's eyes bulged, "Tia! You, him… Out of wed-lock?!" Uh oh. Anon thought privately.

Celestia sighed, "I said it once before, and I will say it again. We no longer legally required marriage for copulation. Such practices are archaic and inefficient with our modern day population crisis."

"But what about the declining value of family? Morale obligation for a devoted partner and the creation of kin? Should not we set ourself apart from the mindless rutting animals in the pursuit of purer things?"

"What's the matter with mindless rutting?" Celestia teased, "I will say, in that regard, this one does not disappoint. I haven't been this clear-headed in centuries."

"But, but," Luna's cheeks were crimson, "Agh!!!" She suddenly teleported out of there in a flash of blue.

Anon blinked, "Uhh… what was that?"

"Oh dear, please excuse her." Celestia asked with a sigh, "My little sister is somewhat of what the ancients would call a prude. The last one for that matter." She rolled her eyes. "As a result, she has always been at odds with her mind and body. The toys I invented have helped her manage her lust, but her early exposure to my dear old mentor's 'chastity' ideology has been of no help to her." There was a shift of sadness and regret on her face, "I was hoping you would help her when the time comes. As the only existing male, and a human for that matter, she will inevitably be drawn to you when her instincts eventually win out."

"I'll do what I can, Princess." He kept looking back where Luna was with a frown, "Though, I must say it's a bit of a culture shock for a lady to want to ask a guy like me to fuck their sister."

The mare's sad look faded and was once again replaced with a smile, "Humans are not fond of sharing I take it?"

"It's certainly not the norm. I'm pretty open compared to most people from my world. Sex is one of those things that are typically reserved for two people who are romantically involved with one another as what Luna but is far less ridged. At least in my time anyway. I guess as a species we are what you would classify as a bit 'prudish.'

Celestia tilted her head as she thought about his words, "That's different from the flexible sexual culture father told me. I wonder what changed?"

Probably something called Christianity. Anon thought to himself. Rather than opening that can of worms though, he felt the need to ask a question, "Let's talk about another matter. So you're having a kid?"

She nodded, "Yes in fact. Unlike Barb though I will be gestating this child for the normal duration. My natural urges will be lessened significantly from now until conception, so I will take as much an advantage as I can receive from that."

"I see." Anon nodded, "Will I… be involved in that in any way?"

"If you really wish it." Celestia replied warmly, "I would be all too happy. That's a discussion for another time, however." She turned to her maids, "Ms, Andromeda if you would."

The maid broke from her group and walked over with a small box in her magical grip. Anon inspected the dark lacquered wooden box, "Your badge of office, Sir Anon." She bowed.

Anon lifted the lid with a raised brow. Within the box was a gold medallion with a long vertical line meeting two round shapes at the bottom, "A little on the nose don't you think?"

"Males are our symbol of fertility. It only makes sense that the tool necessary to engage in reproductive activities are represented for the only ones capable of producing children." She giggled.

Anon chuckled along, "What do ponies call this symbol anyhow? The Holy Johnson or something like that."

"Actually it is most known as the Tallywhacker." Celestia replied.

Anon's eyes widened, and all at once he couldn't contain his mirth as he burst out laughing loud and hard, Celestia joining in, "Oh God! oh God I can't breathe! That is simply too good!"

"I… fail to find the humor." Rosey tilted her head with a frown. After a good minute,, Anon recomposed himself, taking a deep breath, "heh heh, whew... Sorry about that. You wouldn't quite understand. In my culture, genitalia is a large source of comedy. Hearing a cock being called something as ridiculous as a tallywhacker is completely hilarious." He giggled. Even so, he put the silver chain around his neck.

"I hardly find anything ridiculous about that name. It's rather dignified in my opinion." Anon laughed again, and she turned her nose up with some offense, "What's so funny now?" She asked.

"You don't realize it. That's the kicker! You all take it so seriously and are completely forgetting that this symbol is based around a ding dong like the one between my legs."

Celestia and a couple of the maids giggled at that. Rosey turned her head to the other maids and they all immediately quieted.

"Do relax Rosey. I've always found it quite humorous, actually." Celestia said.

Rosey sighed and bowed her head, "Yes, your majesty. I only seek perfection in your staff's services to you."

"You're too hard on yourself and others, my little pony. I wouldn't mind you all having fun time and again. In fact, now that we bring that up, I believe you have a hoard of vacation days I requested you to take." The mare visibly flinched. "It is unhealthy for you to work as hard as you do without any break." Celestia sighed.

Rosey had a concerned look, "I'm afraid that's unacceptable your highness. Things around the castle would fall in disarray with my absence, and who would take my place as your personal carer?"

"I'm sure Cocoa Mint would be up to the task in your absence. She is a well-studied mare under your tutelage."

Anon saw one of the chocolate brown maids with a mint green swirl in her hair stand straighter and beamed at the praise.

"That may be so Princess." Rosey countered, "But as matters to defense, I am the only mare fully capable of seamlessly acting as your last line of defense. As skilled as the other girls are, the formation would be incomplete without me."

Last line of defense? Anon questioned, "Wait, are you like some sort of battle maid or something?" That was actually awesome.

"That's exactly what they are." Celestia affirmed, "Miss Andromeda is an expert in a great many things from tactics, martial and magical combat, speaks eight different languages, and has quite the knack for domestic services. Her and all of the other maids act as my unassuming guards."

"That's very badass. Color me impressed." He would be lucky to have one of those things.

"Impressive indeed. Her one flaw however is that she doesn't know how to do anything but work. A decade of service and not a single vacation. It's her prerogative which I can't force, but still… Would you please reconsider your position Rosey?" Celestia turned to the mare with her most motherly concerned face.

Rosey stood her ground against the front, "My life is solely for servitude, your highness. I will live for you, I will die for you. I would take any order you give. You are singularly the most important being in this world and need all of the protection I can give."

Celestia sighed, looking down, before looking to Anon, and he could practically see a light bulb flash above her head. She stared at Rosey with a warm smile, "If that is the case, then I've no choice. I have an assignment for you." The mare snapped to attention while Anon looked curiously, "You are wrong about one thing, there is a being amongst us who is just as, if not more so important as me and my sister who currently requires protection. From this point forward, you will be assigned to Sir Anonymous as his maid and bodyguard in Ponyville."

"What!" Both Anon and Rosey said in surprise at the same time. They looked at each other, then back at the princess, "Your highness, you cannot be serious. My place is here within the castle by your side. Without offense, this being cannot hold precedence over your security." She replied with a degree of exasperation.

"Anon holds the key to our world's very future. His protection is of the utmost importance, which is why I'm putting the best mare on the job to make sure he is unharmed. This is my order to you."

Rosey had a conflicted look about her, but yielded, bowing her head, "Yes, your highness."

Anon scratched the back of his head uncomfortably. "Celestia, are you sure this is a good idea? I don't know the first thing about having a maid." Let alone a battle maid.

"Not to worry Anon. It will be more convenient than trouble I assure you. All of her income will still directly come from the castle, and she will follow your every direction. This way also saves me the trouble of finding somepony to protect you. As advanced as the spells on your attire are, you are still not completely immune to danger. Anyways, I imagine having her company will be all sorts of… fun." She winked.

Suddenly a loud chime came from a clock, and Celestia sighed, "That time already? Guess I really should get that backflow from yesterday all sorted out." She sighed again before standing, levitating one of her half-eaten pastries, "Ms. Andromeda will lead you to the carriages back to Ponyville. It was good to have you Anon, and I must thank you for your gift."

Anon stood to bow, "As I do for yours. Your hospitality has been splendid, and I hope to visit again soon."

"I would be all too happy. Just send me a note through Barb and I would be… glad to have you again." She said under some bedroom eyes. Anon grinned, "I bid you adieu my dear human." She turned to Rosey, "Take care my little pony, and do try to enjoy yourself." The mare bowed her head and Celestia walked out the door.

Rosey turned to Anon, "I will escort you to the carriages. From here on out, I shall… be under your service sir Anonymous." She said reluctantly.

"Just Anon is fine. I know you're not too thrilled with this arrangement, so I'll do what I can to make sure you're comfortable."

"What I desire is irrelevant. If her majesty seems my skills better utilized this way, then that is the end of the matter." She began walking towards the opposite door, turning only once to make sure Anon was following down the hall. She didn't speak again until they found themselves on an outdoor platform with various carriages, coaches, and chariots. She spoke to a mare in a blue uniform awaiting them as six pegasi began to hook themselves up to a nearby carriage and trot towards a runway that led off a cliff.

Anon observed nervously, and he expected that this wasn't going to be a conventional ride on the ground, "Is this uh… safe?" He asked. A couple of horses the likes of Celestia would be one thing, but these ponies were tiny compared to him. He was no expert on physics, but he was sure that something like this was not aerodynamically sound.

The mare Rosey was talking to looked up at him, "Not to worry big fella, Solar Chariots are the safest modes of travel that aren't on hoof. You're more likely to get in an accident aboard a train than in one of these babies." Something about her southern accent made him think of one of Twilight's friends. The orange one he recalled. He hoped they were all alright with him just disappearing out in the blue with the princess, especially his new daughter.

He looked at the carriage dubiously but sighed. When it came to a magical world, he might as well throw out all of his conceived notions about how reality works. "Alright, I'll take your word for it. Thank you very much." She looked surprised at first before she smiled wide and nodded. Based on her reaction he guessed receiving thanks was somewhat uncommon here.

Opening the door he found that it was quite lavish inside. The seats were lined with red velvet and completely plush. The amount of luxurious living from today is seriously going to give me a heart attack! He thought to himself as he sat down. Rosey sat across from him with a neutral expression as the mare outside gave her goodbyes before locking the doors.

Rosey sighed, "First things first, I might as well get this over with since I shall be in your care." She held out her hoof, "Touch me."

Anon blinked, "Uh… Come again?" That was unexpected. Based upon her personality and expressed reservations, he figured she would avoid touching him the entire time.

Rosey stared at him stoically, "The princess assigned me to protect you, which means there will be circumstances where I may have to pull you away from danger. My body shouldn't go into shock when you might need my aid and focus the most."

Oh yeah, I forgot that she was a professional with sensibilities. Anon thought. If this were a show, she'd likely avoid touching me until some villain tries to destroy me, only for her to jump in and push me out of the way and learn something about friendship before we copulated. Good thing this is real life. Who the heck would write something like this anyhow? "You kinda have a point, but are you sure you want to do this? I don't think that there is a way to easily undo it."

She rolled her eyes, "I have built up resistance to several poisons and drugs throughout my lifetime. The princess described to me the reported effect and I'm sure this is hardly anything comparable to that."

Anon shook his head, "Ok, I admit that's pretty fucking awesome, but the fact you are comparing that to this makes me think that you don't know what this is. Are you prepared for…"

"Yes, just grab my hoof." She said impatiently.

Anon sighed, "Alright then. Brace yourself." He grabbed her hoof and felt the expected snap. Her eyes widened slightly, but she kept her gaze steady. He let go of her, and her hoof kept itself held out for a moment before shakily putting itself down. She gulped, slightly shaking.

"Are you okay?" Anon asked with concern. At least he couldn't say he didn't warn her. Still he felt a bit of a nagging tug on his conscience. A dark thought occurred to him, but he quickly stamped it out. Consensual, only Consensual.

She didn't reply right away but slowly nodded her head. It wasn't very reassuring. Both instances of his touch of beings under the spell were intense for the being in question, and he had a suspicion that this mare was only holding onto her composure by a thread. "This is… more intense… than I imagined. I understand what the princess meant by heat now. Somewhere between… pain and p-pleasure." Her legs twitched, and she cleared her throat. There was a new shade of scarlet on her pink face, "I… huff, I was hoping to be more tolerable, but it would seem I will need your… aid after all."

"You want to do it here?" Anon asked knowing what she meant. He suddenly thought about airplane sex and felt himself getting arroused. "Shouldn't we at least wait until we take off?"

"We already have." Rosey said impatiently, "The carriage has interior anti-motion charms. Now please assist me in relieving this infliction you have given me!"

Anon held up his hands, "Hey, alright, alright. Geeze." He began undoing his pants. Gotta get used to doing this… What am I saying?! Don't treat it like a chore! "You should probably get that outfit off if you want to keep it clean."

"Sensible." With her magic, she seamlessly undid and climbed out of her maid attire before adjusting her glasses, "Now, alleviate me." She prostrated herself in front of him. Looking at her pink peach it wasn't very hard to get, well… hard.

One more question, "So do you want me to cum inside or outside?" Anon asked.

"What?"

"Sorry, sex term." Anon scratched his head, "Do you want me to ejaculate my sperm within, or outside? Inside will definitely get you pregnant."

"I can't get pregnant either way, so I don't care." She said dismissively with some bitterness, "Get going. I want this done quickly."

Anon wanted to bring that matter up, but seeing as she was trembling from her heat, and sopping wet, he figured it was probably best to oblige to her request sooner rather than later. His head touched her entrance and she immediately flinched as her small outer folds spread needily to try and accommodate his mast. If his time with the princess was any indication, he doubted there was a pony who could ever fit him if not for their elastic nature. Slowly he pushed his head through, and her walls immediately tightened around him. She squeaked out a sound unbecoming of her proper demeanor and breathed heavily, "Is… is that all of it?"

Rather than answer her, he continued pushing through until there was a sizable bulge around her belly and his tip kissed her cervix. This was still only a third of the way in.

She gasped somewhere between surprise and panic, "S-stop!"

He complied, wincing as she held him in a vise hold within her warm velvety confines, "Are you alright?"

"I don't, ah!" She shivered as he slid a little inside her, "Are you sure this is safe?" She panted, looking down on her bulging form. If this were a normal carriage ride he imagined that it would have been a lot more difficult to keep still.

"Not to worry, I'm a professional. I know what I am doing. " Technically that was true. No one could refute him there. "Do you wish me to continue?"

She looked in thought for a moment before slowly nodded. Despite her prim and proper, duty-bound demeanor, she was really cute and soft despite herself. Grabbing her around her midsection, she squeaked as he lifted her and sat back down at his end. With gravity at his side, he began working her down his shaft. She tried to look indignant but instead moaned in ecstasy as the pressure on her cervix was built until he popped through into her uterus. The pleasure was too much, and she screamed her very first orgasm. With that, he began pushing her up and down on his member. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as the pleasure began building again, her inhibitions dissolved to the carnal act and she more freely gave cute squeaks each time he pushed through her second entrance. Her legs kicked out instinctively from this gesture as he picked up the pace, half-standing now to buck his hips into her.

She was close again, and so was he. With a final primal ram, he slid himself to the hilt inside of her, prodding the back-most wall of her womb with the tip of his spearhead. Her passage constricted all around his length, a silent scream coming from her mouth as her body was crashed into by her erupting climax, twitching against Anon as he fired a tidal wave of his seed into her waiting womb before she went completely limp in his grasp. Spurt after spurt of his baby batter, her belly expanded until he was completely dry. All at once, his body reminded him of his previous night of passion as his sack ached from the recent abuse, and felt the need for an ice pack.

Panting for breath, he slid out of her snatch, leaving a trail of copious amounts of spunk from her pussy to spill on the expensive floor of the carriage. Placing her beside him, they both caught their breath.

"So…" He panted, "How was that as your first time at sex?"

She didn't respond immediately since she was still coming down from her newfound taste of euphoria, but after she collected enough of her senses, she replied, "It was… not what I was expecting." She panted. "I… don't even have… the words to describe how that felt, but I guess it was enjoyable."

It grew quiet between them and Anon had a sudden compulsion to take out his phone, only to realize that he didn't have one anymore. Damn, how do people fill silence again? He turned to see her rubbing her swollen belly, "So, uhh… what was that you said about not being able to have kids?" Don't ask sensitive topics like that stupid!

She stopped, and sighed before adjusting her glasses to look up at him, "It's… a condition I have. I'd rather not speak of it, but since I am currently under your employ, you should know." She sat straighter and looked at him with her composed stare, "There isn't quite a name for it, but from what the physicians determined, my body is resistant to any form of external magics. It just washes right over me, which has made me so useful in combat and protection services to the princess. The downside to that is that there are no Reproductive Officers in Equestria who can create a genetic sample that can survive me. It is what it is I guess. You would know how hopeless it is considering your expertise, so I'm sorry that your seed will go to waste."

Anon scratched his head, "Err… so wait, it's a magic problem?" Suddenly he had a distinct suspicion that the Sun Princess schemed on deeper levels than he initially thought.

"Indeed, other than that, I would be perfectly capable of conception. I'd rather not dwell on it. I have long given up on the idea of having a foal of my own. Still… the thought is nice from time to time. "

Anon made a mental check to always think critically at the princess's words. Now to explain, "So, uh… guess I should tell you about a particular quality about my baby making mixture." He was about to continue when a little bell inside the carriage rang.

"Oh dear, it's our stop!" She frantically looked at the messy state of the carriage and themselves. With a burst of magic from her horn, it was all cleaned up with a flash.

Anon blinked, "Huh, that's handy. Is that what you did in the Princess' room?" Also, holy shit that was quick! Did we break the sound barrier or is the town closer than I initially thought?

She nursed her head and groaned, "Yes, and it's quite taxing to do more than once a day." She grabbed her maid uniform and quickly slipped it on with some difficulty from her still cumfilled belly. In the sudden display of supernatural domestic care, he almost let it slip, "Hey uh, got a minu-" But she already unlocked the carriage and trotted outside of it. Anon sighed and followed. As soon as he jumped out, he was met with the view of the treehouse library. It was his first good outdoor view of it and now realised it kind of ironic that a library was housed inside the carved frame of a still-living tree. Closer though outside the carriage was Twilight Sparkle, who was currently greeting Rosey. Considering Twilight's relationships with the princess, it would make sense that the two would know each other. Turning his attention he spotted alongside the lavender unicorn was Barb and Evie. As soon as the little black drake spotted him, she ran and jumped into his arms, "Daddy! You're back, and you look awesome!" She looked him up and down before snuggling against him with a purr. He hugged her back and as soon as he was clear of the carriage, it took off on its own accord back in the direction of the mountain they came from. Passersby looked up in awe before whispering amongst themselves about the strange well-dressed creature.

The others turned and smiled, "Hey dude! How was laying the princess? That's how you say it right?" Barb rubbed her chin in thought and looked for confirmation.

Anon laughed, "Yeah you nailed it. Good to see you guys."

Barb fist-pumped, "Yes! It's good to see you too." She flushed and twiddle her thumbs, "Uhh… you think maybe we can have… sex again?"

Anon felt a twinge of pain in his groin and winced, "Maybe in a bit. I'm kinda all dried up right now." It was probably overly dramatic, but he felt like another round of lovemaking would reduce him to a skeleton. He was already cumming in supernatural amounts within a fantasy world, so he couldn't discount that small possibility.

Barb looked disappointed. "Oh… uh… alright then I guess. In a bit." It was obvious that she was horny as hell right now, and needed it badly, Twilight on the other hand looked quite a bit more worse for wear now that he looked. Her hair was all over the place, and her left eye was twitching. She noticed him staring as they began heading inside her abode and gave a smile that looked forced, "Great to see you Anon! Glad to see your back. Since you have been gone, we've begun preparation in setting up your new home and business here in Ponyville! We already have a building that the mayor was willing to provide! Isn't that great?!"

Anon took a moment to process her gabble of words, "Uhh… Twilight, are you okay?" That was probably a no.

"Couldn't be better!" She giggled hysterically, "I feel great!"

Evie rolled her eyes, "She's horny as fuck, and hasn't been able to sleep." She deadpanned as he put her down, "What she needs is the D."

"No I don't!" Twilight said too quickly.

Rosey blinked, "Uh… is there something I'm missing?"

Barb sighed, "Twilight touched Anon a couple of days ago and refuses to have sex with him. Something about 'living by Celestia's standards'." She said with air quotes.

Rosey winced, "That sounds very unhealthy. Several days of heat? I could barely handle it for several minutes."

Evie smirked at Anon, "Sly dog." She turned, "Pleased to meet you. I am Evie Nemo, firstborn daughter to Sir Anonymous Enigma Nemo.

The mare did a horse equivalent of a curtsy, "Rosey Delilah Andromeda. A pleasure. From this point forward I am a maid under the service of Anonymous and by extension any of his claimed offspring."

"Neat." Evie gave a thumbs up. "Did Daddy give you a thorough dicking?"

The mare blinked, "If you are referring to sex, then yes I have."

Evie turned to the lavender mare, "See! Even the maid had sex with Daddy."

Twilight gave an annoyed groan, "It's different for me. The princess went without sex for thousands of years. I'm her student so I have to know how to go without as well."

The black fluffy drake raised her brow, "Uhh… Did you miss the part where sun butt jumped his bones almost immediately after finding out about his existence? She may have gone without for a long time, but clearly not by choice."

"She was very thirsty." Anon added. It was fun watching them all trying to figure out what he meant. Also, Sunbutt?

Twilight stood silently, eye twitching. "Well that's, err… umm…" Her words fizzled as beads of sweat formed on her forehead.

"I'm kinda confused Twi," Barb stated, "A few days ago you were all about outwitting the curse and restoring the natural order of things. Now that you have accomplished a way to do that, why don't you want to join in on it?"

"Because I don't want to be dependent on it okay!" Her face was completely flushed, "When I touched Anon, I didn't think through all of the consequences it would bring. The last thing I expected was that he was capable of undoing the Spell of Forbearance. Pleasure is one thing, but being completely driven by instinct is another thing entirely! I'm a scientific, cerebrally centered unicorn. I should be the last pony with a need to let loose her base desires!"

Anon held of his hands, "Look, I totally get ya. It's your choice not to have sex with me and I respect that, but you can't just leave yourself pent up like this without some kind of relief. With as strong as all of your sexual urges are, I highly doubt total celibacy is advised without chugging down the train to crazy town. Not to mention your snap was stronger than these two."

Twilight blinked, "Wait, snaps?"

Rosey chose that moment to butt out of the conversation, Curses? Spells? Snaps? She shook her head. That's all above my paygrade. As she left to check the perimeter, she was beginning to think that this would be one of her strangest of assignments.

Anon shrugged, "I feel a sort of snapping sensation whenever I break the SIB. Those under the spell anyway. I didn't feel it when I touched Celestia." Though he now recalled a faint hum at her touch. It might have been his imagination but he knew he should probably test it.

"Fascinating." Twilight said with curiosity eroding her irritation. Her head shot up with a laugh, "Of course! Excuse me but I got to check something. Bye!" Her horn fizzled erratically before she disappeared in a flash of purple light. "That was abrupt." Anon blinked.

"She's been kinda annoying like that since you left. Besides all of that awful testing she had me do." Evie shivered before sitting on the couch, Anon alongside her, and Barb on the other side. They all let out a long exhale before the two drakes cuddled into his warmth. Before long he was vibrating on either side from their motorboat like purrs. It was nice and quiet like that for a bit, letting Anon wash away his exhausting night and a half. It was good though. Despite it all this was the happiest he ever recalled being, and in the end, he had his purring dragon gals. It seemed sacrilege to break the silence, but he couldn't help it.

"You two gals have been getting along alright?" He asked.

"More or less." Replied Barb. "It's been interesting though. Parenting in Dragons is way easier than with ponies."

Evie rolled her eyes, "Only because I did the favor of skipping to a self-sufficient age. I may have been born yesterday, but I have a mature noggin up here. Trust me when I say you're not quite ready for a real kid, Mom."

"Anon, our daughter is picking on me." Barb whined half-heartedly.

"Be nice to your mother Evie, or there might be a spanking in your future." Anon teased.

Evie smirked, "Like those naughty girls in your manga collection?"

Anon's eyes widened as the lewd imagery passed through his memory. He swiftly removed himself from the couch, wiping a bead of sweat that started at his head, "I-I uh… gotta go to the bathroom!" He said flustered as he made a hasty retreat.

Barb blinked with confusion, "What was that about?"

Evie giggled, "You'll find out when you're older."

Author's Note

Finally got this one done! Thank you all for your support. Be sure to comment on your thoughts or if you find any errors. This story is really gonna pick up after this. Hope you enjoy! For me, it's back to more writing!