"So let me get this straight. You managed to open up a portal between dimensions and summoned a mythical male from an alien race to here in your lab?" Rainbow Dash restated her friend's testimony shaking her head, "Sorry Twi, but I'm not buying it. Males? Psh, those are just little filly tales!"

"As much as I want to believe you, darling, Rainbow does have a point. This all feels too fantastical." Rarity added as she trotted along with the group. Applejack nodded her bit of skepticism while Fluttershy just looked pensive.

Too fantastical? Fighting Nightmare Moon with the Elements of Harmony wasn't fantastical? The lavender mare tried making sense of that statement in her head. The only one who wasn't skeptical was Pinkie, "You guys are silly! Of course, males exist! My Granny Pie said so, and she never lies!"

Twilight sighed as she led all of her friends to the Library. It was always a trial convincing them of things outside their realms of preconceived notions. "I know it's hard to believe, but I summoned him yesterday. He's waiting for all of us at home right now with Barb." Just thinking about him, she could feel her heart quicken and her nethers ache with desire. After she initially came back from her stupor, what he did with Barb was constantly at the forefront of her mind. It was completely analytical when she first started. She documented every detail empirically from the rhythm of his thrusts to the effect he had on his partner. It was a remarkable discovery that his touch could reawaken a pony's sexual instincts. She wanted to know what it was like, but she failed to realize there was no going back, and even now she tried to shake the feeling away to no avail.

Though he as a person was relatively harmless, the way his touch instantaneously clouded her mind in euphoria scared her and has refused any further touching. It was a pleasure beyond anything she imagined, but her ability for logic and reason was completely impaired by it. She refused to let that happen, even if it meant denying her instincts. If Celestia could set a standard and keep herself together for a thousand years, who was she not to follow?

"You left Barb alone with a strange creature!?" Rarity gasped with alarm. "Not sweet little Barbie!"

"Relax Rarity. You have nothing to worry about. He and Barb actually have really hit it off pretty well together. Before I left to get you, she was showing him her comic collection and edition of Ogres and Oubliettes." The latter, they were actually talking quite extensively.

"Well that's nice and all, but why aren't we supposed to touch it again?" Applejack asked.

"Well… it's complicated." Twilight began, "There are some matters of national security involved, so I'll have to ask Celestia's permission."

"Oh! Oh! I get it! It's a spy, isn't it? Are we going to become spies?" Suddenly Pinkie put a black mask over her face and hid in a box, "Agent Pink reporting for duty colonel."

An exclamation point appeared as Twilight magically removed the box from her, "Come on Pinkie, we don't have time for games."

Pinkie gasped in surprise before letting out a sigh, "You're right. I'm too dummy thick to be a spy anyway. The clap of my cutie flanks always alerts the guards." Everypony stopped and gave her a strange look.

"Right…" AJ shook her head trying to forget what she just heard, "Twilight, reckon you're right, and this is a legitimate, bonafide mythical male. What do ya plan to do with it? And have you told the princess?"

"I sent a letter to Celestia right before I left to get you all. I'm sure she's probably responded by now. As for what I intend with him? Mostly study of what he's capable of right now."

Fluttershy spoke up, "Is it true that males can easily impregnate us with foals?"

Rainbow laughed, "Ha! As i-"

"Yes." Twilight cut her off. All the ponies stared at their lavender friend.

"You say that with such certainty darling." Rarity raised a brow.

"Of course. I had Barb test him personally. Though it was not my intention, she ended up pregnant. Checked it and everything."

All the ponies mouths gaped at the incredulity of the statement. "Ya mean to say, there is literally a free foal maker sitting right now at your library playing board games with Barb?" AJ deadpanned.

"More of a tabletop RPG, but essentially," Twilight replied.

Applejack suddenly had a business mare look about her, "Ya know, me and Macareina could use some extra hooves on the farm a few years from now… If you're right about this…"

"Oh, to have my own little princess." Rarity's eyes twinkled at her fantasy, "The status and popularity between the two of us would be absolutely grand!"

"Sign me up!" Pinkie beamed, "Imagine all of the parties I can do with a partner in crime! Which reminds me, I need to do a Baby Shower Party for Barb!"

"A foal of my own." Fluttershy said wistfully, "I'd teach her to be gentle with animals, and cuddle with her, and help her with whatever homework she had, and…"

"Eh, you guys can keep your kids." Rainbow shook her head, "Taking care of foals can be a pain, not to mention pregnancy would keep me from flying. No thank you."

"Aww, don't you want a foal who you can teach to be just as awesome as you?" Pinkie asked.

"Might be nice to have somepony to show the ropes, but come on, awesome as me? let's be real here."

Rarity rolled her eyes, "You know Rainbow, I heard-"

"Girls!" Twilight cut into their conversation, "We can talk all about that later. Right now I just want you to meet him. Also, Rarity,"

"Yes, Darling?"

"Anon has requested upon hearing of your seamstress skills, wondered if you would make some new clothes for him? Apparently, his species is very shy of walking around in public naked, and his current ones don't fit him quite right."

The seamstress' eyes twinkled, "Creating clothes for a being from another world?" She smiled, "I'll create all the clothes he would need!" She said with flair, "and as a token of gratitude, maybe…"

"Rarity." Twilight groaned. Thankfully for her, the library was now coming into view.

"Well, a girl can dream can't she? Foals are the leading status symbols in Equestria. I always thought I would need to take a mortgage out on my boutique as my parents did for Sweetie and me, and when you say you have a means to provide foals for free… it's hard not to think of such things."

"What does this feller look like anyhow?" Applejack asked. "I always heard from stories that males were bigger and stronger than most mares."

"He's no pony, but he is definitely that." Twilight sighed as she approached her front door and turned to her friends, "Now remember Girls. Until further notice, I repeat, no touching him. Is that clear?" They all nodded as Twilight began to open the door, "Good, now let's all step inside and say- Princess Celestia!" She gasped, along followed the rest of her friends. Sitting at the table of her home was none other than the leading diarch herself playing Ogres and Oubliettes with Barb, and Anon with a black baby dragon sleeping in his lap.

The goddess turned to the stunned group, "Oh there you are Twilight. Has Barb ever played this game with you? It's actually quite captivating."

Nopony knew what to say when Twilight's face scrunched up and began babbling, "But, but, how? why? when!? Princess, what are you doing here? And why does Anon have a baby dragon?!"

Anon stroked the slumbering dark creature affectionately, "Well, a funny story all that. So it happened like this…"

Earlier

"Wow, this is awesome!" Anon looked over the core set of Ogres and Oubliettes, the map layout, rulebook, dice, and character sheets, "It's almost like Dungeons and Dragons back home. I haven't played anything like this since high school."

Barb smirked, "Glad you approve. Bet you'll find this one the superior game."

Anon hummed to himself as he read the rules, "We'll see. This version is a bit looser than D&D. Mine has things like armor class. Stats and modifiers to bring just a bit more variation. It involves a bit more math, but it definitely makes up for itwith the features it adds. Here, I'll write out some of what I remember." Quickly on parchment, he began scribbling. It was rudimentary, but he'd played enough times years ago to recall most of the important stuff.

Explaining it to Barb her eyes lit up. "That's genius!" She exclaimed, "This system of ability scores and modifiers makes each character so unique. And brings a whole new level to characterization and storytelling."

"Exactly, and having a DM specifically and only in the role of setting the scene allows for the organization of the bigger narrative."

The dragon laughed joyfully, "How has nopony thought of this?"

At that moment a clopping of hooves was heard going down the stairs, "Barb, I have a letter for you to send." The Lavender mare floated over a wax-sealed scroll to the little dragon, who stared down at it dumbly. "Oh, you wrote this one yourself?" Barb asked feeling just a bit self-conscious.

The mare nodded, "It's just so Celestia knows it's important. I want to be sure she reads it as soon as possible."

"Isn't that what the seal is for though?" Barb asked, raising a brow as she pointed to the wax sun symbol that was used only for urgent letters.

"The princess knows my horn writing. I can't have her think I'm not taking this matter seriously, or worst, divulging state secrets out loud for every pony to hear!" She looked out the windows just in case. "Anyways, I've written everything that has happened down in there. I'm off to go grab the girls so they can meet Anon and weigh-in on this matter. I should be back in an hour or two."

"Alright, see ya Twi." She waved and Anon followed suite. The mare magically opened the front door, "Bye you two. It may be a while, but don't be surprised if you get a letter immediately back. I'm sure the princess will treat this with the same seriousness I do if not more." With that, she closed the door behind her and left.

Barb shrugged and blew a green flame at the piece of parchment, which burned immediately and flew out the window.

Anon looked at her perplexed, "Did you just… burn her letter to the princess?"

"Message magic. Any paper I burn with my flame will reappear either in the royal letter room if the Princess is busy, or right in front of her if she's not."

"Huh, neat." Magical texting. He thought as he stood to stretch, "Aight, I'm gonna grab a snack. Want anything Barb?"

The dragon looked thoughtful. "A couple of rubies would be nice actually. I think I'm starting to get those pregnancy cravings I've heard so much about." She rubbed her belly.

Anon smirked, "I think you have a month or two before you get those. I don't know how long dragon pregnancies last, but I'd eat my own foot if you got that immediately the day after."

She shrugged, "Doesn't make me any less hungry. Maybe also-" suddenly there was a flash of light, and staring eye level in front of Anon was the Alicorn princess herself decked in full regalia and flowing multicolored mane. The man staggered with a yelp as the tall sun goddess stared him up and down with curiosity. "It's true. How extraordinary." She tilted her head as she walked around the confused human, "You look… so much like him."

Anon opened his mouth to ask, 'like who?' But barb spoke first.

"Princess Celestia!?" She blurted, "What, what are you doing here?"

The sun pony turned to her, "Sorry for my sudden appearance, but when I received Twilight's letter, I knew I had to see for myself." There was a look of wonder as she looked right back at the human, "To think my student would come up with something as inventive as this. Magic so old that even I only have the foggiest accounts of its existence." She suddenly broke from her thoughts and cleared her throat, "Twilight said your name was Anon correct?"

"Er… yeah, your majesty." Fuck! Anon thought to himself frantically, How are you supposed to talk to royalty again? Bow, bow you, idiot! He was about to lower himself when she chuckled, "Just Celestia will do. It is nice to meet you Anon."

"A… pleasure. Sorry, I'm not used to meeting royalty." He admitted, scratching the back of his head.

"It's quite alright. You may speak to me freely." Anon let out a breath of relief, "Actually, I'd like to get to know you quite well. I was curious. It's been a couple thousand years since the last human hero existed in our world. Does the Roman Empire still stand?"

The Roman Empire? Despite the odd and unexpected question, he cleared his throat and did his best to answer, "Uhh… no. I'm not much of a historian, but I know it fell a couple of thousand years ago."

She seemed taken aback by that and a hint of sadness penetrated her gaze, "Oh, I see. I suppose that does happen from time to time…" She seemed thoughtful for a moment before looking back up at him, "What nation do you hail from then, I might ask?"

Anon shrugged, "The United States of America. We're a democratic country. Most of the world is now that I think about it. Lots have happened on Earth since the time of the Roman Empire."

Celestia nodded, "I see. I would be happy to talk about it sometime." She brightened up somewhat.

"No problem. So the last human was a Roman huh?" That was a crazy time difference that was mind-boggling to him.

Celestia smiled as she explained, "Indeed, my father told me every detail about his home many, many years ago. He used to be a gladiatorial champion in the coliseum before Clover Charm the Wise summoned him here."

Anon nodded, "Ah… wait what?" His brain did a double take to process what she just said.

She giggled, "Oh I neglected to mention that. My father was Kaneis Erotisi, the last great human hero of the realm."

Both Anon's and Barb's jaws dropped at this sudden revelation, "Princess, is that true?" Barb's eyes were as wide as dinner plates as she digested this piece of exposition.

The princess smiled warmly, "It's all true. After he came to Equestria and defeated the Demon Lord, my father Kaneis won my mother's affection and ruled this nation at her side for nearly seven hundred years. They had both me and luna in that time, and the rest is history."

"... Wow. Epic doesn't even begin to describe that. Seven hundred years? Your father must have been one hell of a guy." Anon praised. He put it on a mental checklist on how to get whatever he needed for that kind of lifespan.

"Yes, he was." She looked drawn back as if recalling a fond memory.

"Is that why you're so much taller than anypony?" Barb asked, "Cause Anon is really tall."

Celestia blinked back to the present, "Yes, actually, but that's not important right now. The main reason I came was actually because of you Barb."

"Me?" Barb asked with a measure of trepidation in her voice.

"According to Twilight's letter, Anon here managed to impregnate you. If that is true, you will have been the first in thousands of years to ever give off a natural offspring since this curse was inflicted upon the world. It is critical to see if this circumstance has brought a change in that. If you would allow, I would like to accelerate that process so we can be sure."

"Wait, what?" Anon looked confused between the two of them, "What exactly do you mean by that?"

"It's actually a fairly common process amongst the nobility." Celestia replied, "Pregnancy is a long and arduous task for mothers, so we've invented a way to speed that process up a bit, as well as make it safer for both mother and child."

Anon could already feel the pit forming in his stomach. He was still getting used to the idea of being a dad. He felt he could be ready in however many months it took, but now of all times? He wasn't so sure, "How quick is it?"

"A couple of minutes. With Barb's permission of course." She looked expectantly at the dragoness as Anon sat to process his feelings.

Barb looked with a similar level of uncertainty, but mustered the courage from her sense of duty. This was the princess herself requesting it after all, "I'm willing to help however I can, Princess."

The solar ruler nodded, and her horn glowed. Barb was surprised when she was plucked from the ground and immediately placed carefully on the couch as Celestia hit her with various complex spells. She pulled barbs legs apart, revealing her puffy slit, "You'll want to relax and take deep breaths. The spells I just placed you under will prevent any pain, but it's still going to feel strange."

Barb nodded, trusting the Ruler as Anon sat beside her, "This may be the absolute strangest day and a half I've ever been put through in my entire life, and I think you can say probably the same. Even so, let's uh… maybe get to know each other better after this?"

"Uh… yeah. Yeah! Sure! That would, umm… be nice." She blushed.

He held out his hand, and Barb took it firmly. "Whatever this is, I'm sure a grand adventure awaits." Anon didn't know it, but he was smoldering again, and this time the timing was right for a soft gale to brush against his hair with a beam of golden sunlight hitting him just right to give him a glowing halo. Barb and Celestia stopped to gape in awe at the hilariously oblivious sexy human.

Celestia blinked quickly with a shiver of delight before turning to Barb with a fire in her eyes, "You're not keeping him all to yourself right?"

"I desperately want to…" The little dragon was drooling before shaking her head, "Uh, I mean… I'm happy to share." She let out a nervous laugh and squeezed Anon's hand harder.

"Uh… what?" Anon blinked trying to think of what spurred this line of dialogue between the two.

"We'll discuss this later." Celestia said, "In any case, the outcome of this offspring will determine how he should best utilize his… gifts. Are you ready Barb?"

The little dragon nodded. Celestia lowered her horn over the dragon's belly with a yellow pulsating glow.

A static of magic filled the air. "Oh, that feels rather warm." Barb noted as she began to feel the sensation of something growing inside of her, "Is that normal?"

"It is." Celestia affirmed, "Brace yourself. This is where it will feel strange." Her horn glowed fiercely, and suddenly Barb's small pudge grew into a quickly expanding baby bump. Appearing as if someone hooked an air pump to her uterus and started filling her. Anon watched with a nerve wracking thrum of his heart. Even though the princess said it was safe, he couldn't help but think of all the things that could go wrong. Mostly surrounding the idea of the little dragon exploding one way or another, or something like a chest burster popping out, and it was all his fault for doing this to her. He realised this must have been the infamous dad anxiety he's heard so much about and he hated every minute of it. Luckily though, the painful claws digging into his hand from her discomfort was helping to distract him. Barb may have been small, but she was still a dragon with the strength to prove it. The growth seemed to be endless, and when it reached the size of a basketball, Barb gave a nervous whine when her first contraction hit. Her claws dug further into his skin until there was a small trickle of blood.

"You're almost ready dear." Celestia comforted before the glow of her horn disappeared, "There, now you are ready to give birth."

"I-It's going to tear me apart!" Barb cried in fear. Considering her passenger was larger than her hip radius, it was a reasonable assertion. As malleable dragon bodies were, it was clear her underdeveloped body was not ready to birth something so large.

"Not to worry, young one. Though I'm sure you could handle it naturally, you will not need to concern yourself with that." Her horn glowed again, and in a poof Barb's belly deflated as Celestia held a dripping black egg in her magical grip. "There now, that wasn't so bad."

Barb gasped before replying with a groan as she put a hand on her sore stomach.

Touching her horn against the drake's belly, Celestia stopped Barb's contractions. Anon let out a sigh of relief when his hand was freed, "Wow, that was… nerve wracking. Are you alright Barb?"

The little dragon weakly held her thumb up, "Ugh… I feel like I was being eaten from the inside out. Need… food." She was noticeably skinnier. Any baby pudge she had was eaten up by the egg and replaced with a more lean figure.

"And that will be the pregnancy cravings." Anon got up and grabbed a box of rubies from the cupboard. "Here you…" He couldn't even finish. The little dragon lunged at the box and started devouring the jewels like an animal. Celestia and he watched as she sat in the box eating the last one with a satisfied belch.

Anon shrugged, now turning to his shelled spawn, "Damn, as scary as that was, for humans that's usually ten times more terrible. Magic sure does make things easy."

"To an extent." Celestia admitted, "Normally the accelerated growth magic is reserved for nobles with money, and the in-utero teleportation is something only I have ever tried." Gently she placed the egg on a pillow. She stared at it inquisitively for a moment before turning to the two, "Before I hatch it, you both need to be close so the child imprints on you."

Anon took a breath, feeling butterflies in his stomach. He turned to Barb and helped her up. She looked exhausted, "Can I maybe sleep for just a bit?" She groaned.

"I'd rather get this done quickly, but I do have a few more tricks up my sleeve." Celestia's horn glowed again as it wrapped around Barb before dispersing in a puff around her face.

The dragon rubbed her eyes and blinked a couple of times before standing straighter, "Hey that a pretty neat spell there. I wonder why Twilight doesn't use something like that."

"Do you think Twilight would ever rest if I gave her a spell like that Barb?" Celestia asked with a look of amusement.

"You have a point." She looked at the egg and felt a twinge of something unfamiliar to her. Deep and primal like what she felt with Anon, but altogether different. Were these maternal instincts those books were talking about? She was stumped by another thing, "Why is the egg black? Shouldn't it be… I don't know, more like my color?"

"In most cases, yes. Humans are known to add a little extra… flair to their Equestrian children." She pointed to her perpetually flowing multicolored mane. "I'm not quite sure why if I'm honest." She peered at the new life with a sense of unease. Why it does seem… familiar. Her face scrunched up in thought. She had read maybe a couple of hundred years ago about dragon types in Equestria with something mentioning a phenomenon in the egg groups relating to black eggs, but the memory was hazy. Perhaps I should slow down and research a bit.

Anon sighed, "I'm no scientist, but the genetics in your world are operating by bat shit crazy logic." He bent over and stared at the shiny egg. His heart was still pumping hard in his chest. The only thing going through his mind was the fact that he was going to be a dad. No, not just that. He was going to be a motherfuckin dragon's dad! That was the epitome of awesome now that he thought about it like that. Mixed in with the fear of becoming a parent was a welling sense of pride. He touched the warm and smooth outer shell, "But you know what? I'll take it all in stride. I think I'm read-" He stopped as he felt a tug from his hand. All at once, he seemed as if in a trance as he involuntarily placed his other hand on the other side of the shell.

Celestia and Barb's eyes with concern, "Uh, Anon?" Barb began. Celestia's hackles raised as she felt an almost static quality in the air. She recognized this feeling quite well for what it was. She has seen it many times before over her long life. It was a magical awakening, and the egg was using Anon as a conduit to hatch itself.

All at once, and far too late her memory clicked, and realization dawned on her with blood draining from her face.

It was a black night in Equestria's history. A rogue ancient drake from the badlands had laid waste to several of her cities before she could personally put it down. She was underprepared in the fight and nearly lost her life before she slayed it. Her father's words came to mind, 'To defeat an enemy, you must know them. Not simply their battle tactics, but their history, philosophy and art. It is the fundamental should you seek victory.' He was a military genius and she was a fool not to heed his words sooner. Since then she did just that, and collected and documented everything she could on the elusive fire lizards. Amongst such scoured works, there was an ancient tome of Draconic lore one of her mages brought with them years later titled The Kurokami. The words held a certain power to them.

Celestia was well versed with the dragon classification at that time. Based on power and type, they ranged from the D class lesser wyrms, to the cataclysmic A class Dragon Lords. But this tome described a wyrm of legend of far greater power. One who could destroy nations with but an afterthought. This wasn't a B class Great Wyrm like Barb, or even an A class like Dragon Lord Lantern. This egg was the Kurokami, an S Class Black Dragon God said to be born only once every thousand dragon generations. The princess's pupils constricted as her eyes widened, "Mother of me."

Anon picked up the egg as his eyes glowed a fierce white. The wind swirled around him, pushing both Barb and Celestia away as papers and books flew all around the library. Anon felt a tugging at his mind, a new presence worming its way through his psyche.

Barb held onto the princess' leg, "What the heck just came out of me?!"

Before Celestia could answer, a loud resounding crack echoed through the house.

…

Hello, are you there? The voice echoed through the human's mind as everything seemed to stop.

Uh… yeah? Uh oh, hearing voices in his head was definitely not a good sign, Sorry, uh… can I sit down for a moment. I think I may finally be having a nervous breakdown.

Suddenly he felt as if engulfed on the warmest, most comfortable bed in the universe, I've seen your recent memories. You have quite the mental fortitude to handle all of that at once, and no, your mental state is quite stable at the moment.

That's good to know, I've just been trying to go with the flow. Anon replied, feeling quite comfortable, and easily able to open up. Life back home was soul crushing and boring. At least here it seems people like me. Barb is really cool to hang out with, and Twilight seems nice so far. They seem to really be in a pickle with their no guy problem, so I just wanna help any way I can. What's your deal?

He could feel the mental shrug, Just an old soul looking to be reborn. You are the first in a very long time to provide a strong enough bloodline for my awakening.

That's kinda neat. Anon replied, So, you're my kid then huh?

Well, not me per say, but for my next incarnate. It replied.

He couldn't see it, but he could feel a sad smile from the voice. You're quite the curious person, you know that?

At least I'm not boring. He chuckled.

The voice chuckled along with him. You have a fascinating head. Seems I have chosen wisely. Very well, from this day forth my avatars consciousness will graph itself from your mind. Be well, Anon.

Before he could ask what the voice meant, time returned to normal as silver light poured out of a rippling fracture along the shell's surface. A shickwaveriped forth and both Alicorn and Dragon were thrown back and blinded by a brilliant explosion.

Moments passed, and as Anon's feet touched the ground, he felt a massive headache slam against his awareness, "Ah fuck, wow was that intense. Did someone get the license plate on the car that hit me?" He groaned, stumbling a little when his feet touched the floor.

Someone giggled, "You're funny, daddy."

Daddy? That immediately got his attention as he turned over to where the voice came from. Right in front of him was a small fluffy black dragon no bigger than Barb staring at him with big red eyes. Two of which were normal, but on the center of her forehead was a wicked unblinking third. His immediate reaction was, "Holy shit! That's so fucking badass!"

She giggled again, "I'm glad you approve. It's a pleasure to meet you daddy."

Wait, why was she calling me daddy? His memories suddenly caught up with him, "Holy..! I'm your dad?! Wait… how can you..? This is nuts!"

She tilted her head with a frown, "You were teleported into a magical land of ponies and a baby dragon talking after it was born surprises you?"

"In retrospect that does seem kinda silly." He thought about it for a moment, "Still, this is a big moment!"

"Yep, cause I'm Nacho average kid. Don't dragon your feet now." She winked.

He blinked, "Wait, that doesn't… Hey! I'm supposed to be the one with dad jokes!" He looked indignant.

She laughed, "It's your fault that there are so many memes and jokes in that head of yours. Humans are too funny."

Anon squinted slowly, "Not sure if impressed or if I should be unsettled." She giggled. "Anyway, how are you like this and not just a tiny and helpless little ball of dragon stuff? You look about as old as your mother!" Wait, where was she? Anon turned his head to see the pony princess and drake sprawled on the floor beneath a pile of books groaning, "The fuck happened to them?"

His dragon child folded her arms, "Magic to both questions. Being a helpless baby for a while seemed kinda boring, so my past self bumped my age up a bit. I can have much more fun being with you this way!"

"Oh, nice." Anon gave her a thumbs up, "I won't have to potty train you though, right?"

The little wyrm's cheeks grew crimson, "Daddy…"

"Just checking sweetie. I can call you sweetie right?" He questioned, feeling just a bit out of his depth.

She latched onto his leg with a hug, "Call me whatever you want." He panicked for a moment but realised that his touch wasn't affecting her. With only a little hesitance, he petted her soft fuzzy head. No reaction. He sighed in relief. That would have been a nightmare.

Celestia blinked away spots in her vision as she wobbled back up. Barb stood nursing her head.

Anon turned back to them, "Hey Barb, take a look at our new daughter! Isn't she awesome?"

"Hey, mommy." The black dragon waved with an adorable smile.

Barb stared, her jaw dropped unable to find any words. Celestia seemed to suffer from a similar problem but was the first to recover. She stared at the creature trying to weigh in on what to do. The panicking part of her brain told her this was an extremely dangerous situation, and should act while she still could, while the rational part of her mind told her that any action against this wyrm would be a grave mistake. Trouble would brew either way, especially when Dragon Lord Lantern got involved. Suddenly a new idea entered her mind.

"So Celestia, didn't you want to check a thing?" Anon asked, breaking her train of thought.

The princess blinked, "Er… yes." She gulped, switching her gaze at the little dragon before flipping to her motherly mode, "Hello little one. Mind if I check you for something?"

The little dragon tilted her head with a frown, but shrugged, "Sure, if it's alright with my Daddy." She looked up to him.

Anon shrugged in the same manner, "It's fine. I trust her well enough."

"K." The newly born reptile replied, walking over to the princess.

Barb meanwhile was twiddling her thumbs awkwardly. At least Anon had relatability going for him. How was anyone supposed to respond to this?

The dragon stood before the princess, looking up with her big eyes. Despite her adorable appearance, the Kurokami's third eye unnerved the solar princess. Thankfully thousands of years of politics helped her mask her expression into one that was only kind and motherly. "Are you ready, young one?"

"May I ask what I should be ready for?" The young drake asked. Celestia was a little surprised at the question. It was quite unusual for most ponies to just reply anything but yes to her. Still, she formulated an answer at the ready, "Just a simple check up. I want to see if being your father's daughter makes you special in any way."

"Well that's a given, but okay." She shrugged.

Anon couldn't help but burst out laughing, "Ha, ha! Oh, you are so my kid!" The little drake giggled along at the praise while Celestia glared enough for him to stop. Without further ado, she touched her horn on the dragon's head. A moment past, a moment more, and Celestia came back up looking slightly in a daze with a ponderous look.

"So..?" Anon asked. It was another moment before Celestia realized she was being spoken to, "What? Oh, right." She cleared her throat and smiled, "It would appear that the curse is indeed absent. Any female you perform intercourse with will bear an offspring that can have her own male child." Despite the good news, her mind seemed elsewhere.

"Well, that's great!" Anon clasped his hands together and first pumped, "Mission accomplished. No more artificial insemination for your people."

"Well, there is a long and arduous path to tread before that, and I haven't even delved into the politics of the matter. It is a first step though, and one that was long overdo. I'll have to speak to Twilight extensively about all the details so we can create a game plan." Celestia replied.

"It seems kinda obvious to me." The little black dragon replied. All heads turned to her, "All you need is for daddy to make more babies."

Anon cleared his throat nervously, "Well, uh…"

"You're not wrong little one. But there are many things to consider. Things that you are too young to understand."

The black dragon pouted, "I read through all of daddy's memories. Talking to me like a child is self-deprecating."

"I gave birth to you not ten minutes ago." Barb replied.

"Yeah yeah, semantics mom. I'm just saying Equestria needs a bone, and Daddy can provide it. Just like in those mangas he's read!" She said too cheerily.

"Let's talk about something else for a while!" Anon frantically suggested with a bead of sweat growing on his head. He cleared his throat, "So, uh… does anyone want to play my revised version of Ogres and Oubliettes?"

Present

"... And that is pretty much what happened." Anon finished, stroking his slumbering draconic child.

"More or less." Celestia added, rolling the D20. "Sixteen?"

"That's a hit. Roll for damage." The princess picked up two D6's and threw them on the table, "nine?"

Anon looked at his sheet and smiled, "Your barbarian has successfully slain the goblin chief. With that, the remaining goblins and goblinoids flee the camp in mass terror and confusion"

"Attack of opportunity!" Barb shouted, pointing finger pistols at the scattering models, "Can I shoot fire bolts at the runaways?"

"Sure, roll with advantage."

"How can you calmly be playing a game after all of that?!" Twilight called out. Her hair seemed to grow progressively more frazzled as the story concluded. Her friends we're still gaping from the tale of what occurred in the tree an hour ago.

"This game is actually a really good stress reliever." Celestia replied, "Unlike me in real life, Azamoth the Barbarian doesn't have to worry about ruling an entire nation or managing political disputes. It's quite a refreshing perspective actually."

"You should come by more often princess." Barb offered, "My Dragonborn wizard Garbunkle the wise would be happy to have you in her party more often."

"I'll see what my schedule looks like. For now," Celestia sighed, "I must return to reality. Thank you two for this." She stood from the table and turned to Twilight, "Come my most faithful student. We should talk where it is most quiet."

"Yes, Princess." She snapped to attention and bowed, following the ruler to the upper recesses of the library before she turned to her friends, "Remember, no touching."

They all shook out of their stupor and respectfully cleared their throats. "So, you're this human Twilight has been talking about?" Rarity began, assessing the man and his too-tight clothing, "It's a pleasure to meet you. I am Rarity Adora Belle."

"And you can call me Pinkie!" The pink curly-haired mare pronked, "That's Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy! Is that yours and Barb's baby?!" She pointed to each respectively before I landed on the small bundle in his lap.

Applejack cleared her throat, "Pinkie, I'm sure we all could have handled our own introductions."

"Sorry." The mare chuckled, "I just got so excited that I wanted all introductions out of the way so we could get to the most interesting part!"

All of the ponies rolled their eyes before turning to a laughing Anon, "She's quite the character that one, isn't she?" They all nodded with smiles, "Heh, well, it's nice meeting you all. My full name is Anonymous Enigma Nemo."

They all raised their brows, even Pinkie "Umm… darling, I have to ask. Are you…"

"Aware that my first, middle, and last name literally means Nobody?" Anon cut in scratching the back of his head with a sigh, "Yeah, my Dad thought it would be a hilarious joke. He's kinda an asshole."

There was a little yawn from his lap, "I like your name, Daddy." She stretched, "You're right though, he is an asshole."

"Quit teaching Evie bad words Anon." Barb grumbled.

The man in question scoffed, "She literally poured my entire vocabulary into her head. We're well beyond teaching them. The only matter now is how creativity she uses them."

"There are so many creative uses too." The Fluffy drake giggled.

"You named your child Evie? What an adorable name you two have given her." Fluttershy said with a small smile.

Barb shrugged, "I wanted to go with Doom Fist or Triclops, but Anon and her disagreed. I mean, why wouldn't anypony want cool names like that?"

"Ugh, You're killing me Smalls." Anon and Evie said at the same time. They turned to each other and fist-bumped before pointing fingers, "Ayeeee."

Barb rolled her eyes and turned to the five ponies, "See what I got to deal with?"

The girls giggled as they became more comfortable chatting amongst their new acquaintances. Even so, they kept their distance as they settled around the living space. Anon got up with Evie and helped Barb put away the game at the table as he delved into things about his world from history, society, and technology. Sitting at the more comfortable couch, the little dragon hopped back in his lap. The ponies were all entranced by his tale, especially concerning the gender ratio of humans and the mechanics of reproduction. That topic was asked about a lot by the ponies. His 'paternal instincts' funny those, he thought, told him that this was an inappropriate discussion in front of his child, However, considering that she was literally inside of his head and seen all of his memories, (including the raunchy ones as well) he supposed the damage was already done as uncomfortable as that was. She didn't comment, and he just kept petting her as he described everything in detail. The process, the mechanic, the necessary organ's, and their function. They hung onto his every word. Even Rainbow Dash who pretended not to care.

Pinkie grew more fidgety as time passed. She was a very touchy-feely kind of pony, and the line drawn was bothering her. He was just finished describing the penis when she asked, "Can we see it?" She looked at Anon intently, more specifically his crotch region.

"I… er…" Anon began, taken aback by the question, and grew more uncomfortable when Evie suddenly shifted around on his lap. Nononononono! Don't do that! His brain panicked.

"Pinkie!" Rarity gasped, "Don't ask him that. Especially since the dear said his species was shy about such things in public settings."

Anon let out a breath of relief. Thankfully he mentioned that part.

"I don't know." Rainbow began with a scrutinizing gaze, "Seems suspicious to me. Why would anypony wear clothes at all times if not to hide something?" Somehow she rallied the majority of them to that line of pondering.

She seemed pretty proud of that line of reasoning until Anon deadpanned, "Because we're near hairless apes that are sensitive to the exposure of the elements." Evie giggled.

"Oh… that makes sense." She ducked her head momentarily but shot up with flushed cheeks, "I knew that!" She exclaimed. He and everypony else really didn't think she did.

"I do admit, I am a little curious." Fluttershy confessed softly with a blush, "I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable though."

Anon shrugged, "I mean, It's not that big of a deal for me. I'm just worried about whether or not you can keep your hands err… hooves off of me if I do."

"Why are we not allowed to touch ya anyway?" AJ asked, "Barb and your foal seem fine doing it."

Anon placed his arm on the armrest, how to put it? "Well, it doesn't do anything harmful. The only problem is that touching me apparently makes anyone from this world want to mate with me." The matter of his daughter though… She didn't have the curse, so he concluded that she was different. She after all didn't react to his touch like Barb and Twilight, thankfully. He petted her head again, feeling for anything just in case. There was nothing.

"It's pretty intense." Barb added, "Even now I'm still craving it." She licked her lips but shook herself, "No, no. I do not want another baby."

"Damn, and here I was wanting a sister." Evie pouted.

"I hardly see that as a problem." Rarity began, "Foals are like gold. I would be all too grateful if you could give me one."

"I second that." AJ nodded.

"Me too, me too!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"If you don't mind." Fluttershy softly asked.

At that moment, Celestia and Twilight returned. Everyone readied themselves at attention, "Alright everypony, after much consideration, the Princess has reached a decision."

Celestia turned to Anon, "Henceforth from this day, the human known as Anon shall be granted the title of Reproduction Officer. Stationed in ponyville, he will be provided a cheaper sum than normal for his services."

Everypony gasped while Anon gaped, "Whoa, whoa, what? A Reproduction Officer?" His thoughts grew erratic. One part of his brain was pumping his fist and thanking God for his gifts, while the other was screaming in absolute terror of the implications.

"It's one of Equestria's most esteemed titles given to our Biomancers." Twilight explained, "It typically takes years of study before one can make a foal and get the necessary certifications, but since you do it naturally, the title still applies to you."

"Earning a sum will also make sure that your presence will not drastically affect our economy, and having it at a lower price will bring you more customers, which means more uncursed young for the next generation."

Anon processed it all, "What about my effect? Won't that create problems for people I won't regularly see?"

"I actually… have a solution to that." Celestia blushed, "A thousand lonely years have allowed me to think up of rather… creative solutions. I've made facsimiles of the male organ and other stimulating devices. They don't completely sate the desires as a true male would, but it works well enough." She cleared her throat and stood up straighter, "Since Ponyville is the focal point of this enterprise, your business will include selling these as well."

Anon raised a brow, "Well if you could do that, then why remove every creature's sex drives to begin with?"

"We didn't have the technology at the time." Celestia admitted, "Everyone was desperate and horny. Ponies were killing themselves because they couldn't take it anymore." The princess said remorsefully, "I did what I had to do."

"I'm at a bit of a loss." Applejack butted in. The other ponies nodded with frowns. Twilight turned to explain everything to them.

"In any case, with your help Anon, we can slowly begin to undo the Curse of Katrina. Will you do this and help me save our world and return the natural order?"

Well, if it was a moral obligation… He didn't fancy planting his offspring in so many women, but if Ghengis Khan could do it, so could he. Anon took a breath, set Evie aside, and stood up saying with as much conviction in his voice, "I will serve you to the best of my ability, your highness." Once again his unconscious smolder shone through.

Celestia felt weak in the knees. There he was doing it again. "Then… then may I have the honor to be your first customer?" Beneath her regal gaze was something that seemed like desperation. She ignored all of the gasps behind her and focused squarely on the human.

Having sex with an immortal goddess in a world where he could fornicate as a paying job? Even his more reserved side didn't have anything to say about that. His mouth curled to let out a Y sound before he was enveloped in a yellow glow and found himself sprawled laying naked on the most comfortable bed he's ever been on. The princess stood above him with a wild look. Suddenly she dove in for a passionate kiss, worming her long tongue into his mouth and danced around his with a moan. She pulled away gasping with a dribble of spit connecting them, "It took… every ounce of my strength… not to immediately pounce on you when I first arrived you know." She panted. Where her hair before appeared as if it was carried in a gale, it now looked like it was being thrown by a violent storm, "I've been so lonely for so long. I didn't even have my sister to help through it all." She licked his face, "My human, my champion. Please I beg of you. Make me your mare tonight."

Anon didn't know if it was the crazy lust filled words, or the best French kiss he's even been given, but he was rock hard, and ready to literally roll. Grabbing her by both sides, she was taken by surprise when he flipped her onto her back with him looking down at her. His throbbing meat stick slapped on top of her belly. She looked down with wide eyes, "You're so much bigger than my facsimiles." She was drooling by this point as she looked up, "Rut me. Now! Or I'll put you in the dungeon for all of eternity!"

Anon replied with a grin, "As you wish." That day, Celestia discovered that when he said, 'As you wish.' What he meant was, 'Prepare yourself for the fucking wildest ride of your life.' His tip pressed against her puffy entrance. She was already unbelievably wet. When she said she needed it, she really needed it. Without further ado, he placed a guiding hand where his member met her entrance. With a mighty thrust of his hips, Anon rammed his cock down to the base inside the princess. Smashing past her cervix and hitting the deepest parts of her womb. She reared her head back, throwing her crown off of her head and stabbing the pillows with her long deadly horn.

Something deep and powerful inside radiated off in the human as he felt power building into him. Hot and searing like the surface of the sun. With a grunt, Anon kicked himself into gear as he began plowing hard with near-limitless endurance. The princess moaned and squeaked with every earth-shattering thrust. Her eyes were rolled to the back of her head completely lost as the human went to work inside of her tight immortal body. She knew there was no toy in the world that could give her this.

The princess was a drooling mess as centuries of tension eased out of her. The weight of the entire world, the secrets she's held, the burden of her feelings were pummeled and replaced by a sea of ecstasy that flooded her senses. Not even a stallion of old could jackhammer himself into her like this. This was the power of a human man, a man like her father. Her visage of power and strength was using her like a needy sow. That her mother kept this kind of power to herself filled her with incredible jealousy. Before she knew it her body seized up for her first mind-bending orgasm in equestrian history.

All of her pent up energy built up from that tension circulated into her horn, and as she let out a scream of pure bliss, the golden energy wrapped around her arcane tool and expanded out rapidly in a colossal shockwave that shook all of Canterlot and the surrounding towns and villages below her mountain kingdom. Anon was thrown back against the stone wall and fell to the floor with both fists on the ground in a crouching position. steaming energy wafted off of his naked muscular body.

Celestia panted as she came back to her senses. Suddenly aware of what she did, she jolted upright with a frightful look, "Anon! Are you okay?!"

The man slowly stood up.

There was a frantic knocking at the door, "Princess! Princess! Are you alright in there!?"

"I'm fine! Don't come in here!" Celestia shouted.

The guard was stunned for a moment, "By your orders… your highness."

The solar princess sighed with relief before turning to the human. There was blood dripping down his face, "Oh my stars! I'm very sorry Anon. I don't know what came over me. It's been so many years and…" she had a mixed look of remorse and shame, He probably hates me now. She thought. "I'll heal you. Please forgive me. We'll… we'll end this session right now. You've already satisfied me so…" There were tears in her eyes and he walked towards her still rock hard.

"I need healing? Who decided that?" His eyes practically blazed, "You're satisfied? Who decided that?" Celestia's heart raced as she looked at the titan before her. Her nethers began aching again, feeling empty asshe felt the searing heat of the sun, "The only one who gets to decide such things… is me." She squeaked as he picked her up and placed her onto her belly with her rear pointed towards him. Once more he thrust into her deepest depths, squeezing every last inch of himself into Celestia's folds with a wet squelch. She moaned with rapturous bliss as he pistoned himself back and forth. At this rate she wasn't going to last very long at all after her last orgasm. Her mind pushed back into a daze as he moved at a frenzied pace. Her last lucid thought before she lost herself again, was that No amount of healing magic was going to make me walk straight for a while.

Minutes turned to many blissful hours as Celestia spasmed into her twelfth orgasm. Her bed was a completely wet mess that was torn in places from her horn. He was close now, she could feel it in a primal animalistic way. He was going to fill her with his baby batter.

His thrusts were erratic and with a final thrust, he punched his cock as far as it could go inside of the princess. He wrapped his arms along her midsection and she could feel the enormous load of her human begin to travel up his cock, surging forth into her depths before splashing against her womb with enough force to make her cry out in alarm. Her legs bucked and spasmed out in the air as she felt the seemingly endless tide of cum shooting inside her and claiming her utterly.

A seeming eternity passed when finally, his dick stopped twitching and his balls stopped churning, Anon stopped and his cock popped out of her as he collapsed beside the pony. A veritable flood of sperm rushed out and soaked the bed. Have pity on whoever had to change the sheets.

Drunkenly the princess looked towards Anon, "That… was… amazing." She panted completely exhasted.

"I… aim to… please." He huffed.

There was a chime sound from an overhanging clock. Celestia moaned, "Time to put the sun down already?" Lazily she looked out at her balcony. Her horn glowed as the sun ungracefully wobbled beneath the horizon. She sighed, "Why does this day have to end?"

Anon sat up with a grin, "Who decided that?"

Celestia shivered in delight. It was going to be a long and wonderful night.

Author's Note

Had tons on fun writing this! Only time will tell what kind of shenanigans will ensue from here. If you enjoy, let me hear your thoughts down in the comments.