The year was 1977. Our main character is a man in his early thirties, wearing a suave suit, cleanly shaven.
He’s out to have a night on the town.
By his side is his partner, a fast-talking and even quicker to angry pegasis with little left to lose.
The rain is pouring down as they prowl the night together looking for crime.
The trail left by a one Chi Kin Tender got on their radar as a place to begin their investigation.
Johnny B Smokes walked in first, checking the bar out, he pulls on the collar of his suit, adjusting it for comfort. Following directly behind him Is Greyscale Skies, she eyes the scum of the establishment. Eyeing them to show them not to mess with her.
“How’s your night been?” Johnny asked the bartender.
“You two shouldn’t be here, there’s been a hit put on you, see?”
“Oh I see, you think you can push us around, eh?” Grey spat.
The bartender, a wide set man, put his hands up defensively and shined a grin, “Hey, where’s your sense of humour?”
Johnny sat at the bar and rolled his eyes to point at a bottle on the rack, “My usual.” His partner flies up to sit on the stool “damn human establishments” she grumbled under her breath.
Johnny accepted his drink and nodded, “So Tony,” the bartender, “What can you tell us about Tender?”
“Where do I start, the part where she’s sending guys after me for ‘protection’ money, but she’s slowly been running me out of business. You like the cheap booze? You can thank her for that.”
Grey was writing notes on her pad, “What can you tell us about where she might be?”
“Look, I can’t tell you everything, but maybe she has a drug deal going on at the docks sometime tonight.”
“You suppose it’s around 8:30?” Johnny asked.
“Suppose I heard it was around 10 sharp.”
“And if you just happened to hear which warehouse.”
“I hadn’t heard, all I know is it definitely isn’t WH3”
Johnny and Grey got up, The suited man flipping a dollar at the bartender, “Thanks for your time, drink too.”
Tony watched them leave, followed by several of the people sitting around the establishment. “they don’t stand a chance.” Tony spoke flatly, watching every one of them follow the two detectives.
10pm was a few minutes away and the two detectives were sitting in their car a short distance away watching the place the deal was supposed to take place. Johnny was watching with his binoculars. Greyscale Skies was laying back in the passenger seat, back legs up on the dash and eating chips by tossing them into the air and casually catching them.
Trouble was stirring, but they’d be prepared, they’d been through tougher times together, and they’d be in and out of this long before the Simpson’s came on Comedy After Dark. Grey missed one of her chips, letting it bounce off her face as she sat up in her seat.
“How we looking, Johnny,” she asked, kind of bored being she was doing her job well enough.
Johnny noted a few of Chi’s men were standing around, clearly waiting for the deal. One of the unicorns told some kind of joke and the others laughed, but Smoke couldn’t make out what they were saying.
“Still waiting on ten for the deal.” He told her, “no cops on the scene either, Tender really knew how to stay hidden.”
They waited the remaining 15 minutes until Chi K. Tender walked over to the rest of the cronies to oversee that there’d be no backstabbing. From either side. Some Russian Earth Pony walked up and he and Chi spoke about something. Grey readied her gun in the car for their move.
After some initial greetings between the woman and the pony, they stepped back from each other and showed each other what they were offering. Chi’s man opened his and it was hard to make out, but Johnny knew it was the money. The Russian pony grinned and waved his henchman to open the other briefcase.
Now Johnny definitely knew what he was looking at. The Hope Crystal. It was Equestria’s biggest treasure. Also it’s biggest diamond. Chi smiled as well and they agreed.
Smoke turned to his partner and they nodded at each other, time to move.
“You’re under arrest!” Yelled Greyscale and she flew low by Johnny’s side, badge in one hoof and gun in her other at her side.
Johnny predicted they’d scatter, they always did. “Freeze!” he yelled. They didn’t listen, they scattered.
“Dammit!” Grayscale swore as she caught up to Johnny behind his cover. They looked at each other and both yelled “go” at each other. Either seeing the path that they thought the other should run.
Johnny B Smokes was lighting a cigarette as he ran after Chi, He knew it’d be a long night if they had to chase the perps.
Grey flew up to find the Earth Pony (they don’t know this, but his name is Jakovich, that’s how he’ll be referred for the rest of the movie) she caught him running around the ship.
Chi was alone by the time Johnny caught up to her in a hanging pork freeze locker. Her henchmen ran off with the briefcase. She had her diamond and she’d do some real harm with it. Johnny caught her around a hanging pig with his gun trained on her “Don’t move Chi, you’ll never get away with this.”
But Chi laughed, “You really think it matters if I get away? If you arrest me the story will get out, how ‘international crime thief makes off with precious hope crystal’ the ponies would learn their perfect system is flawed, that even a human can break in and steal something so valuable”
Johnny didn’t let up on his gun, “You’re gonna come with me and we’ll make sure word about this remains silent.
Greyscale caught up to Jakovich and knocked him over with a midair buck she’d learned in her boxing days. “Why?!” She asked the crime boss, “Why would you steal the Hope Crystal and sell it to some human?!”
“That isn’t just some human,” Jakovich laughed, “That’s Chi Ken Tender, she’s the human. The one that’s going to bring ponykind out of the gutter that is this disgusting world.”
Grey felt disgusted, “That’s the problem with you deserters, you want to take the peace our two species enjoys and make it about pony supremacy. You’re under arrest and trust me, you don’t want to try and run again.”
After they arrested the two crime lords, Johnny and Greyscale were eating at a coffee shop in the morning.
Johnny sipped from his mug of hot dark roast, Grey couldn’t shake the feeling that the story would get out, and all ponykind would feel the effects of the missing Crystal giving them all hope. “Think it’s under control?” She asked.
Johnny didn’t know, he was confident about a lot of the case, but the fate of the diamond and the chaos it being gone would bring. But he did know that his cop buddies were trustworthy ones. The story would be silent at least.
The view pans out and the announcer says: And that’s it for another episode of Smokey Skies.
Author's Note
I know this is essentially a 'follow the leader' sort of thing, but the story I wrote is entirely original work.
Well, 'original' despite being an amalgamation of every buddy-cop film ever made, XD
I feel like I probably should have worked in an angry police chief with the district attorney up their ass, just to complete the aesthetic. But oh well, I was stoned, what can you do.
