“Flash, honey! Breakfast!”

Flash Sentry rolled out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweatpants over his boxers before grabbing a t-shirt from the assorted clothes scattered on the floor by the side of his bed. He put it on and stopped at the door of his bedroom.

Please have gotten dressed already. Please have gotten dressed already. Please have gotten dressed already.

He took a deep breath and opened the door, heading downstairs to find what was waiting for him.

If anyone asked Flash, he'd say his life was pretty good all things considered. His school was a much more pleasant place to be, his band was doing all right, and he was friends with seven of the coolest girls at Canterlot High. All in all, Flash Sentry didn't have a lot of major problems.

Except one.

Flash came down the stairs and rounded the corner heading for the kitchen. A sense of foreboding and dread was building in his gut. He paused at the doorway. He could see movement at the edge of his field of view, back where the stove was. He took another deep breath and entered the kitchen.

Aw, dammit.

“Morning, Mom,” he said, trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice.

The nearly six-foot tall supermodel making pancakes at the stove looked over her shoulder, her metallic blue hair flipping in a way that you only ever saw in shampoo commercials. She smiled at him, revealing obnoxiously perfect teeth, and glanced at him with sapphire blue eyes from behind a pair of fashionable glasses.

“Morning, sweetie!” she trilled.

Flash tried to steadfastly ignore the fact she was wearing a very short black nightie that barely covered her tight round ass, and showed off quite a bit of her impressive cleavage. She tripped her way across the kitchen floor and caught Flash up in a firm hug that pressed her large soft breasts into his own chest. Flash felt his face turning red, and craned his head back, fully aware of how close his chin came to touching the tops of her breasts.

No, Flash Sentry didn't have a lot of problems. Except this one.

Having an incredibly hot mom... who didn't seem to know how hot she was.

Azure Flame had married Flash's dad about a year before Flash was born. For the most part, as he was growing up, things seemed to be okay. But when Flash turned ten, he'd noticed things started to get a little more tense at the dinner table. And then, one day, his parents had sat them down and told him they were getting a divorce and Dad was moving out.

Flash didn't know what had caused his parents to split up, but he had elected to stay with his mother. He didn't want her to be lonely.

A couple of years later, when puberty hit, Flash started to get an idea of some of the reasons why his dad had divorced his mom.

Azure was, to put it bluntly, a bombshell. Tall, lithe, with a narrow waist and large firm breasts and hips. Despite pushing forty, she took care of herself and looked nearly ten years younger than that. On top of that, she was crazy smart and an award winning journalist. She had a regular column in the Canterlot Times, contributed to half a dozen websites, and had two novels published. She was currently working on her third.

So Flash's original theory was that his dad had left because of sheer feelings of inadequacy. Solemn Sentry had been a very straight-laced man. Not mean or strict, but just very... bland. Very concerned with appearances. He was a high powered corporate accountant, and was very good at his job. But Flash had thought that maybe having a wife who could discuss geopolitical realities at the dinner table and look like sex on heels at the same time might have been a bit too much for the old man. Hell, Flash felt barely able to cope with having such a woman as a mother.

“Breakfast is ready!” Azure let him go and turned back to the stove. The hem of her nightgown flew up slightly with the motion. Flash's eyes flicked to her pert bottom. Not in any sort of Oedipal way. She was his mom, for God's sake. But whenever his mom was still in her sleepwear, there was always a certain risk.

Oh thank god, she's wearing panties this morning.

Flash took a seat at the table. It had already been laid out with plates and silverware. As well as other plates of bacon, toast, and hash browns. Azure brought over a stack of pancakes on a plate and plopped them on the table and herself into a chair.

“Ta-daaa!” she sang. “Pancakes ala Mom!”

She began doling out the food and they began to eat.

“So,” Azure asked after a couple of minutes. “What's on your schedule for this lazy Sunday?”

“Not so lazy,” Flash answered. “Meeting up with Sandalwood at the park later. He wants help training his dog to fetch.”

“That's so cute. What time are you meeting him?”

“Around one. Why?”

“The car needs washing,” Azure replied. “I was hoping you could give me a hand with that. After we eat?”

“Oh sure, no problem.” Flash got up from his chair. “I'm getting some more coffee. Refill?”

“You're so considerate,” Azure said. “Are you sure you're my son and not some kind of magical doppelganger?”

Flash smirked and picked up both his and his mother's coffee mugs. “If I was, I'm pretty sure Sunset and her friends would have already barged through the door with rainbow lasers.”

“Always with the rainbow lasers,” Azure replied. A mischievous grin crossed her face. “Speaking of Sunset, isn't the Sadie Hawkins dance this week?”

“Yeah,” Flash said, filling the mugs. “Nobody's asked me yet.”

“Well, that's just silly. I thought you and Sunset were getting back together.”

“Sunset's kind of taken herself out of the dating pool for now.” Flash handed his mom her coffee and sat back down. “I think she's still trying to figure some things out. Besides, the Rainbooms are playing the dance, so it's not like she'd be available as a date anyway.”

“Well, she doesn't know what she's missing,” said Azure. She paused. “Wait, no, she DOES know what she's missing, and that's too bad for her.”

“I thought you didn't like her?”

Azure shrugged. “That was before whatever it was happened that made her change. I didn't like the old Sunset. I wouldn't object to the new Sunset dating my best boy ever.”

Azure leaned over and gave Flash a teasing hug, peppering his cheek with kisses. Flash laughed and pushed back.

“Mom, c'mon! I've got a forkful of syrup here! I'm not afraid to use it!”

“Don't write checks your butt can't cash, mister!” Azure gave him another grin. She took a sip of offee and then her eyes widened. “Oh, nuts! I forgot to get the paper!”

Panic suddenly gripped every molecule of Flash's being.

“I'll get it!” he said quickly, but Azure was already on her feet and heading for the front door.

“No, I've got it, sweetie.”

Flash sprang to his feet. “Um, do you want your robe or... something?”

Azure's voice floated from the front hall. “No. I won't be outside that long. Oh! Good morning, Mr. Wattle! How are you --”

Flash reached the hallway just in time to hear the distinct sound of gauzy material ripping and a bag of oatmeal thunking on concrete. He pulled out his phone and slapped a hand over his eyes.

“Mr. Wattle!”

Azure appeared back in the hallway. The nightgown was gone and she had covered her upper body with sections of the newspaper. However, she didn't seem to be all that concerned with her current state. “Flash! Call 911! Mr. Wattle just collapsed on his front walk!”

“Already on it!” Flash called turning his back as his half-naked mother rushed up the stairs to her bedroom.

“911, what is your emergency?”

“This is Flash Sentry. Can you please send an ambulance to 1835 Rudell Drive? My next door neighbor has just collapsed on his front walk.”

“Flash? This is Lifeline.”

“Oh hey, Lifeline.”

“Your mom went out without a robe again, didn't she?”

“Oh yeah.”

“They'll be there in five minutes. Go check and make sure he's breathing.”

Mr. Wattle was breathing. In fact, as the paramedics loaded him into the back of the ambulance, Flash suspected he saw the old man smiling. He certainly had been the last five times this had happened.

He must have fantastic insurance.

After the crowd of neighbors had begun to disperse, Flash went back inside, picking up the remains of his mom's nightgown from under the rosebushes next to the front walk. Azure was nowhere to be found, but the remnants of breakfast had been cleaned up. Flash shrugged and went upstairs. The door to Azure's bedroom was closed. He knocked lightly on the door.

“Mom? Mr. Wattle's gonna be okay. They're taking him to the hospital just in case.”

“Oh good.” Azure's voice came from behind the door. “I'm getting dressed. Listen, honey, I handle washing the car. Do you think you can trim the rosebushes by the front walk? They ruined my nightgown while I was out there and I think that might have contributed to Mr. Wattle's collapse. He kind of got an eyeful, if you follow me.”

“I get it! I get it!” Flash snapped. Then he realized the words came out harsher than he intended. “Sorry, Mom. Didn't mean to snap.”

“It's okay. Go get changed and grab the pruning shears from the garage. I'll be out in a minute.”

“Got it.”

Flash changed into a pair of shorts and an old t-shirt and headed down to the garage. He hit the button to open the automatic garage door and went outside, grabbing the pruning shears and a pair of gloves on the way.

He'd been working for a few minutes when Micro Chips came along the sidewalk. Flash put down the shears and waved.

“Hey, Micro!”

“Oh, hi Flash!” Micro came up to him. He had what looked like an R/C controller in his hand.

“What's new?” Flash asked, gesturing at the control. “Testing a new drone?”

“Sort of,” said Micro. He flicked a switch and a drone came zooming around the corner of the house. It was attached to a long leash on the other end of which was what looked like a disreputable fur rug. Flash blinked then realized what he was seeing had legs and a nose and was, in fact, the droopiest looking basset hound he'd ever seen. The drone hovered next to them and the dog... well, didn't so much “sit,” exactly... more like puddled on the driveway next to them.

“I didn't know you had a dog,” Flash said, reaching down to pet the animal in question.

“Oh, he's not mine. Entropy belongs to my sister. I'm looking after him this weekend. But I wanted to see if I could make walking him a little more efficient. Still a few bugs to work out though.”

“Yeah, he looks a little tired.” Flash knelt down and scratched the dog behind where he guessed his ears were.

“Oh, it's not that. The drone propellers nearly gave out. Entropy can get up a good head of steam when he wants to.”

Flash gave him a look. “Riiiiight.” He stood up. “Hey, not to be rude but I need to get back to – “

“Hi, boys!” Azure's voice interrupted Flash mid-sentence. Both of them turned and goggled.

Azure had emerged from around the corner of the house. She was wearing a strapless white bikini top that seemed about half a size too small for her chest and a pair of denim cutoff shorts that clung tightly to her hips, but rode very very low. She was carrying a bucket of soapy water in one hand, and the garden hose with a pressure sprayer attached in the other.

She stopped next to them and bent over, putting the bucket down, giving both boys a generous look at her cleavage. Flash looked at Micro. The nerd was blatantly staring at Azure's chest, his eyes so wide they looked they were about to pop out of his head.

Flash rolled his own eyes and elbowed Micro in the ribs, causing the other boy to squawk in surprise. Micro looked over at him, surprised.

“My mom, dude!” Flash hissed.

“Right. Sorry,” Micro whispered back.

Azure stood up and looked up in the sky. “Was that a goose? I thought I heard one.”

“I didn't hear anything,” said Flash.

“Me either!” Micro blurted. “Not a thing! And I definitely wasn't staring at your-OOOOF!”

Azure stood back up. She looked a Micro quizzically. “Are you okay, Micro?”

“Just fine,” Micro gasped as Flash straightened his arm.

“Well, okay. Flash, make sure you get the broom to sweep up the-- IS THAT A DOG?!”

Azure clapped her hands as she caught sight of Entropy. “I love dogs! Especially floppy ones like him!”

She bent over again to pet the dog, this time with her back to the boys. The waist band of the shorts came away from her hips, revealing the bikini bottom she wore underneath. Flash fought to suppress a sigh.

Oh god, it's a thong.

He looked over at Micro, who was staring slack jawed. He elbowed his friend again, but there was no response. He frowned and waved his hand in front of Micro's face. No response.

“Who's a good boy? Is it you?” Azure asked the dog as she moved to a crouching position.. She took the dog's face in both hands. “I think it is! I think it is!”

With his mom distracted, Flash reached into the bucket, grabbed the sodden sponge inside and slapped Micro across the face with it. Micro squawked again and sputtered. Azure got back up and turned around.

“You guys seriously didn't hear that?” she asked. She blinked when she saw Micro standing there, suds all over his face and shoulders. “Are you sure you're okay, Micro?”

“I'MFINETHANKYOUMRSFLAME!” said Micro far too loudly. “INEEDTOGETENTROPYBACKHOMBEFOREMYSISTERCOMESTOPICKHIMUPSOTHANKSHAVEAGOODDAYBYE!”

Micro picked up the dog and zoomed down the driveway and to the sidewalk, the drone being dragged out of the air and bouncing with exciting cracking sounds along the concrete. Flash and Azure stared after him, then looked at each other.

“I'm sorry,” Azure said. “But sometimes, your friends can be very weird.”

“I know,” Flash sighed.

They both worked for a while. Azure soaping up the car, while Flash finished trimming the rosebushes. He was collecting the trimmings and bagging them up when there was a splash and Azure cursed. Flash turned around, and stared. Azure was standing there, her front completely soaked and the bikini top was clinging to the curves of her breasts. Her nipples were prominent, poking the fabric out.

Said fabric was also getting dangerously close to transparent. Flash stood there, trying to figure out the best course of action.

“Oh, for God's sake!” she groaned. She looked down at herself. “My shorts are soaked!”

Before Flash could do anything, Azure had unzipped her shorts and shoved them down her legs. She bent over to pick them up, and two cars collided with each other on the street. Azure stood up with her shorts in her hand and looked over her shoulders.

“People really need to pay attention when they're driving,” she said. She looked back at Flash. “I hope you're staying off your phone when you drive.”

“Um.. yeah,” said Flash. “Uh... should I get you a towel, or something?”

“No, it's a swimsuit. I'll just put the shorts over here.”

Azure walked past him and tossed her shorts onto the front step. They bunched up. Azure huffed, making her chest bob, and bent over to straighten out the discarded garment. Flash looked up as three more cars joined the pile up in front of their house. The fact that one of them was a police car that was en route to check out the first accident was probably ironic somehow.

Flash shook his head and turned back to the front steps. He blinked as he saw that the clasp on Azure's bikini top was coming undone.

“Hey, Mom?”

“Hmm?” Azure stood up and turned, which was just enough to cause the clasp to pop open. The bikini top dropped to the ground. Flash, working purely on instinct, ran to grab the bucket, grabbed a huge pile of suds and slapped them against his surprised mother's chest.

As soon has he heard the wet slap for flesh and felt the soft give in his palms, his brain finally caught up with him. He looked up, eyes wide, to meet his mother's equally surprised expression. He looked down at his hands, which vanished at the wrists in the suds.

“I'MSORRYI'LLGETASHIRT!” Flash bolted into the house slamming the door behind him. Azure, standing there with suds sliding down her front, blinked and picked up the bikini top. She turned her back to the street, wiped off the suds and put the top back on, before going back to washing the car.

“I really should talk to him. He's acting just like his father.”

Author's Note

Hey, you. Yeah, you about to ask a certain question. Let me ask you one.

You see the "Porn" tag on this story? No?

I just saved you some time.