DO NOT READ THIS: KEPT ONLY FOR INSPECTION

I didn’t know what I could do. I spent my days, working at Derpy’s, learning Equestrian from Harry, and reading and writing to practice. It was actually kind of hard with your hands. I actually tried it with my mouth, and it worked better. But I looked ridiculous doing it, so I stuck to the hand. I got paid well, ate well, and even got the occasional muffin from Derpy. She is the Muffin Queen, the best I’ve ever eaten, and she really, super likes me. As a friend, obviously, being she’s a pony and I’m a human.

If you weren’t here for part 1, I was sucked to this world in my sleep along with my best friends Harry and Price. We were originally me in Twilight’s body, Harry in Rainbow Dash’s body, and Price in Pinkie Pie’s body. We got free from those bodies, became humans again, and were welcomed into Ponyville.

We still couldn’t read or write anymore, because there was a different language for that. So Harry went to go learn that, I worked at Derpy’s Muffins and Bakery Shop (with the “p” in “Derpy” and “Shop” backwards on the sign) and Price was working at Sugarcube Corner.

On Saturdays, we ate at one of our houses, all together. We couldn’t have any ponies over, because we didn’t eat like them. We still couldn’t eat meat either way, because nothing seems to die in this universe. And even if it did, it’d still be barbaric to eat something dead. Cooked or not, all animals could talk, therefore meaning that would be like eating a friend.

“Hey” said Price. “Who wants dinner at my house?”

“I will!” said Harry

“Me too” I said. “And I’ll bring some baguette!”

“Baguette? How’d ya get baguette in Ponyville?” asked Price

“I made it” I said. No need to tell him I showed Derpy how to make it and it’s the new booming thing in Ponyville and we’re getting business more than them.

“Cool!” he said. Phew! He bought it. “Well, how much you making an hour?”

“Getting a bit nosy, are we? You have to tell me how much you make too.” I assured “I make 6 bits an hour, 8 hours a day, Monday thru Friday, sometimes I can take overtime on Sundays by cleaning the place up, but that’s usually Ditzy’s job”

“Ditzy Doo? You work with Derpy Hooves and Ditzy Doo?” he chuckled “Man, you must feel smart!”

“They aren’t stupid! Just clumsy!” I lied. They were really stupid, but we were in front of the store, and “clumsy” was both Derpy’s and Ditzy’s excuses. “And really good friends. Even with each-other, you’d think they were related”

“Dude, I think they are. And I also think Derpy has a crush on you!” he said. I had worried about this myself, but I said it not to be true to myself over and over, so I believed it.

“Naw! She’s just a friend! A really good friend” I said. “You are sick and twisted”

But then, Derpy flew by, and she looked really sad. Maybe Harry is right.

“Well, see you two tonight!” said Price in his mood-ruining tone.