DO NOT READ THIS: KEPT ONLY FOR INSPECTION

Damo-o-o-o-o! I’m hungry-y-y-y-y-y!” whined Spike

“I don’t think I have anything to eat” I explained. “I’m probably going to have to go to the store!” Where was  I going to go to the store at? Sure, I could drive, but into town? I was underage, that’d be illegal.

“Find. A fucking way. To get food” seethed Harry. “This. Little shit. Will. Not. Stop. WHINING!!”

“He’s not a little shit” I said

“I know, but he’s ACTING LIKE ONE!” he screamed

“Grandpa and Mama can still drive, technically” I said. “Let’s get Pinkie and Rainbow, me, you, Spike, them, and Grandpa and Mama will go to the store and buy food”

“Why Rainbow? I understand Pinkie coming, but… What’s Rainbow going to do?” asked Harry

“Why, it’s elementarily, my dear Watson”

“My name’s Harry”

“I’ve known you fer 2 years now, I know yer name”

“I’m fucking with you”

“And me to you”

“Now this is getting awkward”

“And off topic!”

“You don’t say?” And then he did his Bruce Willis “You Don’t Say” face. Still gotta find a shorter name for that.

“And then we all died in a giant explosion, and all survivors ran naked thru what was left of the streets” said Price enthusiastically. “What’re we talking about over here?”

“You’re not going to the Commissary” I said

“What’s he talking about? What’s a commissary?” said Other Price

“It’s the army grocer, basically the Dillon’s of Fort Riley, except it isn’t on Fort Riley, it’s more… right-ish of it”

“Anyhoo, what’s Rainbow going to do?” asked Harry slowly

“Hell, she’ll make every thing we buy…” I started

“…20% cooler” finished Harry

“Yep Well, get the robot-zombies” I demanded

“Good, fine. Just get the fucking food so the dragon midget will shaddap” interjected Simon

“I really don’t like it when you call people younger than you ‘midgets’” I said

“Whatchya gonna do ‘bout it?” he challenged

“We’ll just see if you’re still alive” mumbled Harry

“Wait… WHAT?!” screamed Simon. I raised my fist and gave my best “intimidating” face. He cowered away. “Gah! Mercy! Uncle!”

“You just got scared” I said and backed away

“Wha- What?” he stammered. “You were on Applewhack-mack-what’s-her-face’s side the entire time?!”

“AJ! You won!” I yelled upstairs

“Your butt is mine, Simon” she said while coming down stairs. The southern drawl made it even more intimidating. “Tomarrah”

“Gulp” whimpered Simon

“Anyhoo, Imma find Rainbow, you get Pinkie, and Applejack, you have fun plotting and scheming” I said. I then turned to Simon and gave him the creepy JacksFilms trademark smile.

“Ya think he wet himself?” whispered Harry to me

“If he hasn’t already, AJ’s gonna make ‘im” I laughed. “Break!” Pinkie, of course, was dancing around the house.

“Pinkie! We’re going to the store! We want you to come!” I said. She bounced on top of me.

“Great! I’m so glad” she squeed. After, we found Harry.

“We are really dragging this out” said Harry

“Things need to be dragged, okay? You find Rainbow?” I asked

“Yeah, she was outside. Trying to figure out what kind of thing a car was” he explained

“Which one?”

“The Masda”

“That’s technically a flatbed”

“Shut up” laughed Harry. Now, to find my grandparents

“Mindless robot zombies! I summon thee!” I tried. No dice.

“Yo! Mama!” I tried again. No.

“Hey!” I tried once more. Nada.

“C’mon now!” I tried one more time. Nope, Chuck Testa.

“Damo‘s grandparents, I would like to converse with you!” Harry tried. It worked.

“God damn, man!”

“I have a gift”

“We would like to go to the store” I commanded

“O-kay” Mama said robotically

“The commissary, to be precise” insured Harry

“It will be done” finalized Grandpa, you guessed it, robotically

“Make it so!” I said in my best Picard voice

“Le’s go!” said Harry real fast

“Finally!” groaned Spike. He was getting really whiny, at this point. When we walked back thru the foyer, Simon was cowering still in the middle of the rug. As we all piled into the Mustang Mama was so lucky to find so cheap, I turned on Joshiana. Kid606’s Catstep-My Kitten-Catnap came on, it turned out everyone in the car could hear it. Again. Damn, I’d have to fix that!

“Hey, what’s that music you’re listening to?” asked Spike

“Kid606. You likey?” I answered

“Yes, if ‘likey’ means ‘like’, then yes” he confirmed

“Raised by a Grammar Nazi…” mumbled Harry

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Author’s Note Time: Sorry this chapter’s so short. I wrote with Henry, and all he wanted to do was play Happy Wheels and listen to Living Tombstone. Not that I don’t like them, especially combined, but I was trying to write. Well, my doctor put me on meds, so now I can breathe in peace. And I’m starting to think that the fact I can’t hear out of one ear had nothing to do with my allergies. Little Fun Fact, I’m writing this chapter from the farm!

Other Author’s Note: Hi, I’m Henry. I’ve never wrote an author’s note before! I will be writing a fanfic from an idea from CamoFlash, it is about a non-brony and a brony going to Equestria, and have to find some magical items to be used with the Elements of Harmony to go back home. And no red slippers will be a magic item in the story.