DO NOT READ THIS: KEPT ONLY FOR INSPECTION

The ride, I believed, would take about thirty minutes. Unless you were going to a pasture, other local farmer/renter (that’s how my grandparents made most of their money wads of cash, they rent all over th’ fuckin’ place), or nearby auction, you weren’t going to get there in under fifteen minutes, minimum. It was an hour’s drive to Abilene, about thirty to Chapman, a good twenty for Junction City, an hour half for Lawrence, thirty for base (where we were headed), and two hours for Salina. I looked over at Rainbow, then Mama driving, I realized Grandpa didn’t come along, Pinkie was in the passenger seat, Harry squished between me and Rainbow, and Spike on my other side. I noticed no one, but me and Harry having to share the same lap belt, was wearing a seat belt!

“Yo! Buckle up!” I said, force of habit

“What?” asked Pinkie

“D’oh! You aren’t going to know… If another car hits us, you wouldn’t want to go flying out the front of the car, would you?” I tried

“What’s a car?” she queried

“A car is what you’re in right now, but there’re millions of them!” I made an air rainbow with my hands. “But all ‘f ‘em ah’ act’lly different shapes, sizes, and colours!”

“I understand” nodded Rainbow

“Do ya really?” I asked

“Yeah, actually” she responded

“I do too!” squealed Pinkie

“Yer a fast learner” I stated

“Thanks!” she said

“Oog” groaned Spike. He looked very, I don’t know, ill, I guess the word is. Like sick, but not exactly.

“Wha’s wrong?” I asked concernedly

“I feel nauseous” he responded

“Car sickness” said me and Harry (Random Authors Note: I understand it’d be Harry and I, but that takes an element out of the story) in unison

“Ca-c-car sickness? I-is that l-like a disease?” stammered Spike

“No, it means when you get in the car, you’ll be sick. As in nausea and a headache. It normally happens when you have your first car ride, if you read while you’re driving, or you’ve been driving for a long time. It’d be one of the first times you’re in the car, but why didn’t you get sick earlier? On the way to the farm, I mean?” I explained

“I was sick then, too” he said, painfully

“Well, don’t buckle up” I warned. “That’ll just make it worse”

“You never explained that to me” remembered Pinkie

“Oh yeah, if a car hit us, you wouldn’t want to go flying out the window, would you?”

“No!” she said

“Then, see that black little belt behind your seat? That has two straps?” I asked

“Yeah?” she called back

“Pull up the first strap t’wards you”

“Okay. What’s this thingy?” she held up the buckle

“That’s a buckle. See that little black box with a red button and a hole?” I continued

“Yeah?” she responded

“Stick the metal part of the buckle in there” I commanded

“Oka—Woa-ho-ho-ho!” she laughed, surprised

“Quite the su’prise, eh? Now yer safe!” I said. I turned to Rainbow, and she had followed my instructions, too.

“Hey, we’re here!” said Harry as we pulled up to the Commissary. The Commissary had gotten a few changes since I had been away. It was larger, with more parking spaces, and it was a different colour. Same for the PX/EX! It had totally been renovated!

“They’ve made s’me changes, Mama?” I asked

“Yes” she said metallically as she exited the car

“Well, let’s go inside, but first…” I turned to Rainbow and Pinkie. “How old are you two?”

“Oh! I’m 21!” jumped Pinkie

“Um, I’m 27. Why?” asked Rainbow

“Good. Okay, Rainbow, if you feel the need to kick somebody’s ass, look to me. And if I do this…” I made a gesture where I put down my thumb and middle finger and waved my hand back and forth. “…feel free to. And, if anyone asks, Rainbow, your name is Trinity Daniels, and Pinkie, you’re Taylor Diane”

“But Diane is my middle name…” she started

“Now it’s your last one!” I said

“Okay…”

“Trinity Daniels… Has a nice ring to it” decided Rainbow

“You like?” I asked

“Yes” she responded

“Let’s move on…” said Spike as he walked t’wards the store

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Authors Note: I have been busy recently, so writing has been harder to get to, recently. I played Slender for the first time today. I will never be the same I will never be the same I will never be the same I will never be the same I will never be the same I will never be the same I will never be the same I will never be the same I will never be the same I will never be the same. But, I wrote a rap, too. It involves ponies, random noises, and Fallout 3! Fus ro yay!