DO NOT READ THIS: KEPT ONLY FOR INSPECTION

Authors Note: Sorry if this gets unoriginal, I just found out I’m highly allergic to ragweed pollen, and guess what grows naturally around here! I am really uber sick. :pinkiesick: Sorry. (Nothing compared to my friend CamoFlash’s recent motorcycle crash, all respects, but it still sucks) Hey, I’ve had this song stuck in my head, so this is a bright side:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KF8M5kLyIcY

I threw Pinkie a leftover pink tanktop from my mom’s “high school days” (my words, not hers). It fit her well (who’d ‘a thunk it?). Twilight got a Mario shirt, Rainbow got a Marilyn Manson shirt, Fluttershy got one of my mom’s old work dresses (or at least it should be old by now), Applejack a Fear Factory (Edgecrusher if you were going to ask) shirt, and lastly Rarity a long dress with a little jacket to go with it. Now, to my room. For Applebloom, I gave her a Meatwad shirt I have, my purple DC shirt to Sweetie Belle, and a shirt that read “You’re Toast” and had a toaster chasing a piece of uncooked bread to Scootaloo. She didn’t get the joke. Spike was harder. I dug thru my old clothes, and found a Hulk shirt. We all wore old jeans.

“Wait, how are we going to stash away 10 women, 3 teenage girls, a 7-or-so-year-old boy, and copies of each of us, all in one place?” I asked.

“Shit! Wait, wait, and wait, no! The farm!” said Other Me

“The farm?” asked Harry

“The farm” I replied

“The farm?” asked Rainbow

“The farm!” said Me and Other Me in unison

“So, a farm, eh?” asked Applejack

“A farm. My grandparents raise cattle and…” I trailed off. Cows could talk, and were probably were friends with the ponies. Same with pigs and chickens, I’d bet. How would they take that?

“And?” asked Twilight

“And… Uh, well. Um, you see…” I tried to start

“Well, how do we put this…? Um, well…” tried to continue Harry

“Uh, well, we… um… They’re raised to… No, um…” tried Other Me

“Get on with it!” said Rainbow, annoyed

“We, I mean they, raise cows, pigs, and sheep to be killed, packaged, cooked, and eaten. It’s called meat” I said, quickly

“That… That is messed up, dude!” stuttered Rainbow. Then I remembered back to Season 2 Episode 25, A Canterlot Wedding Part 1. Rainbow Dash was eating a ham sandwich. Ham = pig.

“Ah, you shouldn’t think so!” I pointed out

“How?!” she looked offended

“Season 2, Episo--” I realized they wouldn’t realize what I was talking about. I sighed. “The time when the Changelings took over Cadence’s body and tried to marry Shining Armour (Random Authors Note: I realize it’s spelled “Armor” but “Armour” is how I spell it), at the picnic, you are eating a sandwich. It has a slice or two of something reddish-brown, the distinguished colour (Random Authors Note 2: Same rule. I spell it “colour” instead of “color”) of ham. A pig product”

“That was feran!” shouted Rainbow

“Feran? That’s not a word” Other Me said

“What are you, a dictionary?” asked Scootaloo

“That’s gotten old. Overused meme” stated Other Harry

“There is no such thing as a ‘overused meme’, no meme can be overused. Underused? Maybe! Overused? I say to thee nay!” I snapped

“Feran is a food, I guess it’s like your ‘meat’, but nothing has to die!” explained Rainbow

“Kinda like tofu” I decided

“So, back to the subject. The farm is the safest place. No people within a 20-mile radius of the area, plenty of room, and TV and Internet. We can chill there!” concluded Other Me

“What’s Yates been teaching you? Crenshaw? Smith? Smith especially! You sound more smarter than me!” I asked, impressed. Yates was our Math teacher, Crenshaw Science/Social Studies, and Smith taught Language Arts. I loved Language Arts, but I could never speak Proper English. Somehow. Somehow.

“Nothin’ new” Other Me responded. “Same ol’ same ol’”

“Simon will be tagging along, unfortunately” informed Other Price

“Ugh. Simon” I stuck out my tongue. Simon is an anti-brony who we pretended to be friends with because he had none, and quickly found out why. I understand, friendship is magic, but sometimes people just don’t have it in them to have friends. Simon was one of these assholes.

“So, we need names for you” Price turned to the human-ponies.

“What do ya mean?” asked Applejack

“You don’t have, regular human names, per say. So, AJ, I see you as an…” I made a marquee with my hands at her face “An Abigail, we will call you Abbi for short. Rarity, you shall be London. Fluttershy is Hailey. Rainbow, you will be Trinity. Twilight, you are now Claire. Pinkie, you are Taylor. Sweetie Belle, Emma. Scootaloo, Scarlett. Applebloom, Lilly. Spike… Actually, you’re fine!”

“Yes!” he cheered

“Twilight, try real hard; try to use your magic” I demanded

“Okay…” she seemed unsure. She concentrated, all right. She lifted me right offa the ground! Her nose was bleeding, not too much, just a normal nosebleed, and she looked like she had a headache, by the way she was holding her head. “Oof. Why’d I do that?!”

“You’re going to do I kind of oobly-doobly-abracadabra mind magic to make it okay with Grandpa an’ Mama for y’all ta stay at their place” I assured

“Oobly-doobly? Wo-o-o-o-w” said Harry in his “You are an idiot” tone. He has a lot of tones.

The door had a knock. Then two more. Then about 5 or 7 really hard knocks. Simon’s signature knock!

“Tha’s Simon! Get it, somebody!” I panicked

“Who’s Somebody?” asked Twilight

“In your words, somepony! Now get the door! Anyone!” I continued to panic

“I’ll take it ‘anyone’ is ‘anypony’?” guessed Twilight. I was getting frustrated

“Yes! Now, I’ll get the door, god!”

It was Simon all right! He was ready for the occasion! Sleeping bag, toothbrush, and snacks! Simon wasn’t all bad, just mostly bad.

“All right, motherfuckers! We ready? When the geezers gonna be here!?” he shouted as he carelessly threw his stuff at the couch.

“Please don’t call my grandparents ‘geezers’” I asked

“Who’s the hotties?” he whisper-shouted in my ear. He walked over to Sweetie Belle. “I call this one, rawr!”

“Tha’s Sweetie Belle. The others are Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rarity, Scootaloo, Applebloom, and Spike” I said with a sly grin

“Aw! That gay-ass pony show you watch?” he shouted and pushed away Sweetie Belle, or Emma. “That’s lame, man!” Rainbow, I mean Trinity, tackled him, raised fist aimed at his face.

“Who ya callin’ ‘gay’?” she shouted. Then she turned to me: “Gay is an insult, right?”

“Right” I responded. “But don’t kick his ass, we’re gonna need him, I bet”

“Pfft. Fine” she said and let him up.

“That doesn’t make the show any less gay!” he groaned

Trinity smacked him upside the head.

Further Author’s Notage:

I made this chapter longer as to make up for the short one the other day

This is a funny vid you should totally check: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_t2TzJOyops