DO NOT READ THIS: KEPT ONLY FOR INSPECTION

’Cuz, we wanna live the life of the, rich and famous blasted the Lady Gaga song as I packed my bags for the farm. Technically, I was already packed. But that was Other Me’s bag. I was going to be there much longer than him. Much, oh, much longer.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was forgetting something.

“Um, I need some help with this!” shouted Trinity from downstairs. There wasn’t really an “upstairs”, per se, but just a room. Mine. Just a room filled to the brim with clutter. Twilight had a fit when she saw it.

No, I was definitely sure I had forgotten something.

“Whaddaya need?” I shouted back

“I don’t know how to do this!” she responded. Wow, that was helpful! Drip, drip, goes the sarcasm.

What could’ve I possibly forgotten though?

“I’m coming!” I groaned. I wish I hadn’t. She was standing in front of the toilet, pants down, looking utterly confused.

“How do you use this thing?” she asked. Ugh, I didn’t want to deal with that. But I know someone who would.

I just didn’t know what could’ve slipped my mind!

“Price! Get in here! Trinity has a job for you!” I called. He walked over, saw Trinity, and nodded his head.

“I can totally deal with this” he decided. I headed back upstairs.

As I was walking upstairs, I realized what I was forgetting:

“Where, the fuck, is Derpy?!” I shouted. The house was frantic with excitement, and not the good kind, either! There’s two kinds of excitement, I know, it’s confusing.

“Oh god, Derpy!” panicked Other Price

“Derpy-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y!” called Claire

“Derpy Hooves, get over here this second!” screeched London

“Um, D-Derpy? Are-Are you th-there?” stuttered Hailey

“Yo! Wall-eyed pony! You there, or, what?!” screamed Simon

“Wha?” asked Derpy and fell in the back door

“Where were you?! You had me worried sick!” I sounded like some mother

“I was out there…” she responded

“You don’t say?” I asked sarcastically and did the “You Don’t Say” Bruce Willis face. There’s probably a shorter way to say that, but I really don’t care.

“I actually do, hee wa!” she said while spinning

“Uhg! You’ll need be named, too” decided Other Me

“Wha? Why?! I like Der--” she fell over “-py”

“Because, not only is that not a normal name ‘round these parts, ‘derp’ or ‘derpy’ is an insult here!” I explained

“An insult?” asked Hailey. “That’s not good”

“If you’re a derp, you are an idiot. A klutz. An imbecile! If you are acting derpy, you are making a total fool of yourself!” I explained. “See, insult”

“Well, that is very offensive!” decided Claire

“How about… How about Miranda?” I suggested

“I see what you did there! And yes, it suits her!” decided Harry. Huh, I hadn’t thought of that! Miranda was this really stupid girl at our middle school, and she was such a big Justin Beiber fan, she knew to the minute when he was born. I don’t think Justin Beiber is gay, I’m not like that, but I still hate his music. There’s this thing, Justin, called puberty. You should probably have hit it by now!

“I agree on all behalves!” stated Price

“We do too” said Other Harry, Other Price, and Other Me agreed in unison, more or less. It was more of an echo effect.

“Well, we’ve time to kill, so why don’t we show them the intranet?” I suggested

“Don’t you mean internet?” asked Other Price

“Price, Price, you don’t understand. It’s funner to say ‘intranet’!” I said

“Funner? That’s not even a word!” said Lilly

“What are you, a diction-“ started Scarlett

“No, just don’t even!” said Other Harry and Harry in unison

“Sah-ree!” said Scarlett

“Anyhoo, internets!”

I showed them YouTube Poops, I showed them dubstep (Trinity was all in that), I showed them memebase (http://www.mylittlebrony.com/), and I warned them of the dangers of R34.

“Never go to a site, click on a picture, or watch a video that has ‘R34’ in the title” I warned

“Why? What’s ‘R34’?” asked Scarlett

“It’s best you don’t know…” I tried to sound as creepy and secretive as possible. It worked. Just then a giant Dodge Flatbed pulled up in the driveway.

“Wait, why are Grandpa and Mama here now?” I asked

“Well, Mom and Dad are on vacation, so they are trusting them with us, because I wanted some friends for the ride. And Simon can come, too!” explained Other Me

“That joke’s not funny, Damo!” threatened Simon

“Well, Claire, be on the ready!” I said. She kept sitting on the couch

“Claire”

“Claire!”

“Twilight!!”

“Wha—Huh?!” she jumped

“Your name is Claire, remember!”

“How am I supposed to remember that?” she asked

“Fine, add your guyses names into yer magic hoo-haw ‘f yers!” I shouted

“Thank Celestia!” Twilight sighed

Knock on the door

“You ready?” I asked Twilight. She nodded

“All right then, get on with it!” pushed Simon

“Hello?” croaked an old voice on the other side of the door. Grandpa

“Anyone home?” croaked a younger, but still old, French accent. Mama

“I’m here! Hold on!” I called out. I let them in

“Who in the hell are these people! We thought we was pickin’ up you and three of your frie--” Grandpa started, but Twilight magic-ed him into a magic I’m-okay-with-everything state.

“I’ll drive” said Mama, almost robotically.

“Sa-rah-Cohn-ah” said Price in his Arnold Schwarzenegger voice and walked like a robot

“Skynet. It’s not Traffic Lights, it’s Redbox!” I had a running gag that Redbox was run by Skynet. I just don’t like Redbox ‘cuz they put Movie Gallery out of business, pieces of shit! I loved that store! And I still have 3 full gift cards to there!

Author’s Note Time!

Whilst I am still sick, I have some fan-fiddlin’-tastic news! I’ll tell you that good news, and good news about that good news, and some bad news on the first good news, and then some more bad news on that first good news. (Uhg, tonguetwister!)

Good news: I figured out I have a baby sister on the way!

Good news on that good news: Since it’s allergies, I am not contagious and can still go to school to see my friends and be with my mom without putting the baby in danger!

Bad news on the first good news: We don’t have a middle name for her! Give us ideas, and, strict rule, nothing popular!!!( i.e. Emma, Sarah, Grace, etc.)

Some more bad news on the first news: My mom has extremely high blood pressure, and the baby could die if it gets too high. And it’s really, really, really,easy to get it up high! I don’t pray, ‘cuz I’m an Atheist, but if you do, I understand you think it helps, so pray if you’d like!