Princess Twilight Sparkle stood in the doorway to Anon's house and just stared at the stallion with white fur, and a two-tone blue mane, sitting at his kitchen table with Chrysalis, and a copy of Ogres & Oubliettes©, grid paper, spreadsheets, and paint. Each of them were wielding a paintbrush.

Twilight balked. "Shining!? What are you doing here with her!?"

Prince Shining Armor looked down at the little figurine held in his magic, and then back at her. "... Painting miniatures?"

"Does Cadance know you're here? With her!?" Twilight practically growled the word, as though it was vile in her mouth. The former queen was a prideful individual who normally wouldn't stand for such mockery. But as the changeling looked across the table at Anon, crosswise between the arguing ponies, all she could do was roll her eyes and try to make herself as small as possible in a rare act of deference.

"Well..." Shining started, "she actually thinks I'm in Canterlot. On 'royal business'. And- hey wait a minute, why aren't you in Canterlot?"

"I came to check up on Chrysalis," Twilight said. Anon snorted, earning a glare from the princess. "Don't dodge the question! What are you doing here?"

"Painting mini-"

"WHY are you here?" she clarified.

"Same as you," Shining said. "To check on Chryssi after I heard that she had escaped the statue."

"Chryssi?" Twilight asked.

"Er, well Chrysalis is a bit of a mouthful," he said.

"So are you," Chrysalis murmured with a smirk.

"NOT HELPING!" he barked.

Anon grabbed a cider from his fridge while the siblings bickered.

Applezzz Cider: A potent alcoholic blend of apple cider and sleeping potion.
'For when being awake... is a mistake.'

Twilight was incredulous. "Why aren't you trying to kill her? Let alone doing arts and crafts together with your dolls."

"Hey, these are action figures," Chrysalis said.

"You shut up!" Twilight said. "Answer me, Shining! After the mind rape-"

"Well-"

"And the regular rape!" she continued.

"Twi, it wasn't as bad as all that!" Shining defended. "I mean, yeah, the mind control stuff was majorly uncool."

"Sorry," Chrysalis muttered.

"But that didn't even really start until you arrived the night before the wedding and started making me question things," he said.

"Are you blaming me!?" Twilight asked.

"Of course not!" he said. "I'm just trying to put things into context for you. Before that, I wasn't being coerced for anything. It was actually pretty good. She didn't rape me, aside from her just not being the real Cadance. It wasn't like it was violent or anything. It was actually..." he trailed off as a goofy grin spread across his face. "Uh- I mean, and she was into the things I liked, like O&O." He motioned at the table.

Anon drank his cider.

"But what about Cadance!?" Twilight said. "She was trapped in that cave!"

"It wasn't like she was going to let her die, Twilight," he said. "Changelings can't feed on love meant for another creature if that creature is dead."

"I'm not a monster," Chrysalis said. "The infiltration of Canterlot was never meant to be a violent invasion. But... mistakes were made. And deep undercover, I was cut off from my subordinate commanders who feared the worst, and made the unilateral decision to escalate. I admit, I was proud of them at the time. And with Celestia neutralized, I had high hopes. But in hindsight, well..."

Shining continued. "And after the wedding, when I got my real Cadance back, I found that she wasn't nearly as into tabletop gaming, or..."

"As kinky?" Chrysalis suggested.

"To be clear-!" Shining defended, "I didn't come here for sex! I really did come to check on her as an escaped prisoner. I just... happened to have my O&O stuff with me, and... one thing led to another. It was nice catching up on old times."

"And what about after the wedding?" Twilight asked. "Teaming up with Tirek and Sombra and Cozy?"

"I was cut off from my hive!" Chrysalis said. "Changelings are extremely social creatures. And I hadn't had any... I- well, I'm not me when I'm hungry. But now that I have a steady supply of food..." Her gaze drifted over to the human.

Anon finished his cider. "I have a name, you know," he said.

"Yes, of course! How rude of me," Twilight said. "Anon, this is Prince Shining Armor of the Crystal Empire. Shining, this is Anon, the... human."

"Anon, yes," Shining greeted. "Chryssi has been telling me a lot about you. I must say, your appearance is exactly the way I imagined."

"I still can't tell if that's a compliment or not," Anon grumbled. He extended his hand to shake his hoof.

Shining glanced at Anon's hand. "Eh, given the nature of your vocation, you'll have to forgive me for not shaking your paw."

"That's fair," Anon admitted. "Well this has all been just delightful," he sarcassed. "But I do believe I need to see a mare about a bed." He looked at Twilight.

"Oh, right! Yes, lead the way!" she said. Anon showed Twilight to his bedroom where his old bed still resided. In a flash, the bed vanished and reappeared in the yard outside the bedroom window. With a bit more focus, her horn glowed brighter and a brand new bed materialized in its place, with the price tag still attached. "I'll settle things up with the Beds & Breakfast store tomorrow." She saw his puzzled look. "It's a combination diner and furniture store."

"Sure. Why not." Anon inspected the bed. It was easily twice as large as his old bed. The heavy wooden frame was simple, but sturdy. It felt like an air mattress but moved with a bit of sloshy inertia. "Is this a water bed?" he asked.

"The mattress is actually a cloud bed," Twilight said. "Imported from Cloudsdale. Normally only pegasi can sleep on it. But the mattress cover has a cloud-walking enchantment woven into it. So it will still feel like sleeping on a cloud." Anon laid on the bed. There were no words to describe the superlative comfort of a cloud bed. It formed around, and supported, his weight evenly. His head sank into the accompanying plush, but supportive, cloud pillow.

"I love you."

"Anon, please," Twilight blushed. "You're quite welcome but you don't need to-"

"I was talking to the bed," he said. Twilight's feelings were only mildly hurt.

Anon tried to sit back up, but the fatigue of the day was catching up to him very fast, and even his eyelids felt heavy. He was barely able to lift his wrist to wave her away. "You can find your way out, right? And take your nerd with you."

"He's not a nerd! He-" Twilight realized that Anon was already snoring. She pursed her lips, turned of the bedroom light, and marched back out to the kitchen.

"Hey Twilie, did you want to stay and paint with-"

Twilight's magic grabbed him by the ear, pulling him out of his chair, and along with her to the front door. "We're leaving," she scolded. "You and I have a lot to talk about!"

After the door slammed closed, Chrysalis resumed painting the Sludgenoid infantry minion miniature she was working on. "Pft, and I thought my family had issues..."

Anon slowly awoke some time later to a hissing sound. The stark light from the ceiling flickering on hurt his eyes before they had a chance to adjust. He tried to sit up but found he was under a clear canopy, in some kind of pod. The hissing was the pneumatics lifting the canopy open, letting him sit up and shake off the grogginess of long-term stasis along with the rest of the crew of the USCSS Nostromo, an interstellar tug connected to, and pulling, refinery cargo.

"Hey rookie, you want some coffee?" First Mate Lieutenant Ellen Ripley offered him. He took the simple aluminum cup from her. The coffee was black as deep space, and thick enough for a spanner to stand up in. Anon rubbed his forehead and chuckled. "What's funny?"

"I had a weird dream," he said. "I was in this... magical land with talking horses and..." he trailed off as the details started to slip away.

"Yeah, stasis can do that sometimes," Ripley said, looking at the rest of the crew. "Especially when your dumb asses decide to have a shipping-out party and got shitfaced right before going under. I told you it was a bad mix."

He got to his feet and followed her towards the bridge. Suddenly the lights went out and the emergency red lights came on in an eerie, crimson glow. She looked back over his shoulder and screamed, "Run!"

When Sigourney Weaver,
one of the most badass women in history,
tells you to run...
You run.
You run your ass off!

Anon ran through the dark corridor and looked back over his shoulder. A black, lanky, angular creature chased after them.

"Chyssi? This isn't funny!" Passing a bright red floodlight showed off the shiny, glistening body of a Xenomorph in hot pursuit of them. "That's not Chryssi! THAT'S NOT CHRYSSI!" he screamed as he ran faster down the hallway that seemed to go on forever and getting darker every second. He could hear the hissing snarls of the creature gaining on him faster and faster. It leaped and sank it's teeth into his neck.

~

Anon's head popped off his desk with a start, waking from the nightmare. The red imprint of his spiral notebook marred his cheek.

"Welcome back to the land of the living," his teacher said, teasing him from the front of the classroom. Anon grumbled and rubbed his cheek in embarrassment. He always hated that recurring Alien nightmare. "Well you're just in time to take the exam."

Anon's heart raced. He had been so shaken from the nightmare that he didn't even remember what subject the class was. The textbook on his desk had a picture of Saint Basil's Cathedral. The teacher pushed the book aside and placed the exam on his desk. Everything was in Cyrillic. He didn't even remember signing up for a Russian class. It might as well have been Hieroglyphics to him.

He didn't even have a pen. He checked his pocket. Or he would have if his pants had pockets. Or if he was wearing pants at all!

"How unprepared can you be?" she scolded him.

"Sorry, Mom," he blurted.

All the other kids laughed at him calling the teacher 'Mom'. And the girls pointed and giggled as he covered his naked crotch with his hands.

"Let's make an example of you!" The teacher walked over and grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him over to stand in the window, exposing him to the whole world. With a push, she shoved him against the glass, and it fell out of the window frame, and him along with it. He fell from the school room at the top of an impossibly-tall tower. The window caught the updraft and he started to glide. He watched the clouds whisk by underneath him as he soared through the air.

~

Ding... Ding.

Anon blinked awake at the sound of the familiar tone. "Attention passengers, we will be landing at our destination in about 20 minutes. So make sure you have your tray table up, and the seatback in the full, upright position."

Anon didn't even move from where he had been napping against the window. He watched the clouds whisking by under him as he flew. It had been a long flight, and even wilder dreams. Horses, aliens, school, and-

Anon looked up at the oncoming aircraft for just a second before it collided with them. In an instant, first class and the rest of the front of the aircraft was gone. Unbuckled, Anon was thrown from his seat and sucked out, screaming and freefalling into the stratosphere.

~

"Gah!" Anon jumped in his seat with a rush of adrenaline. The sound of the highway rumble strip shocking him awake as he had nodded off at the wheel. He had only fallen asleep for a second, but it felt like it had been ages. The highway in front of him stretched out to the desert horizon. He wanted to pull over and stop but he needed to hurry and get to the dentist. After all, he was late for his appointment and all his teeth were falling out into his hands. "Oh no, oh no!"

"GAH!" Anon's head popped off his pillow. The familiar clock in Ponyville Square chimed the hour. He was late for work. He threw his hands up and huffed. "Perfect! Par for the course! Chryssi, I'm going to work! Stay out of trouble," he called into the house before he headed out.

He wasn't usually up before the dawn, but it was still somewhat dark out, due to it being overcast that morning. More than that, it was foggy. Like, really foggy. But he had walked to work enough times, he knew the way well enough to get there with his eyes closed. And with the visibility as low as it was, that was practically what he was doing. The corners of buildings moved in and out of his range of view as he passed by them, until the familiar storefront of the spa came into view.

He walked inside. It was quiet. It was a weird sort of quiet that feels dissonant in a place that is normally always noisy. Like an empty stadium, or train station. He was worried that he had come in on a day when the spa wasn't open.

"Good morning, Anon," the pink spa twin greeted, walking from the back room to the front desk.

"Good morning Aloe," he replied.

"Pardon?" she asked. He did a double take. Lotus stood at the front desk adorned in her blue fur.

"Oh, sorry Lotus. I didn't sleep very well last night." He looked at the empty spa. "Are we even open? Where is everybody?"

"She rented out the whole spa," Aloe said from behind the desk.

"Who did?" he asked.

The purple pony that was both Aloe and Lotus spoke as her face melted off, "S̸̢̢̱̯̘̘͕̦͝͠Ḩ̜̰̫̱̤̯̣́Ȩ̛͇̣̪̥͎͓̪̼̖̠̟̥͔̟̕͡."

"Okay," Anon said. The door to his massage suite creaked ajar. He walked over and opened it, stepping through. He fell through the floor, screaming into the infinite abyss.

~

Anon's eyes shot open. His heart was racing from the adrenaline rush of the nightmare. Or was it nightmares? He laid there and waited, consciously trying to clear and organize his thoughts. It was just a dream. But it felt so real. But then so did the one before that. "Fuck this Inception bullshit!"

He pinched his cheek. Though just waking up he didn't really have strength in his extremities yet. He slowly, carefully sat up in his bed. It was the same cloud bed that Twilight had gotten for him. At least that territory was familiar. "Fucking bed is haunted!" he groused, trying to let his eyes adjust as he stared into the dark bedroom.

A pair of turquoise eyes looked back at him from the pitch blackness.

"Chyssi?" he heard himself ask. The eyes moved towards him. He saw the outline of a woman who looked pale-blue as she stepped into the sliver of moonlight streaking through the gap in the drawn curtains. She followed his eyes down to where a couple buttons of her collared blouse had come undone, showing off her significant cleavage.

"See something you like?" she asked with a coy grin. Her billowing hair flowed all around her. "Ah, and what have we here?" she asked, wrapping her hand around his girth through his boxer shorts.

"Whoa- whoa!" Anon yelped.

"Is this not every boy's fantasy?" she asked, undoing yet another button of her blouse. "It seems to be quite popular in my experience." She gave him another squeeze. Thick though he was, to the surprise of both of them, he remained flaccid. "What's wrong? Is this not pleasing to your eyes?"

Anon looked at her. She was an objectively stunning woman by any measure. And yet, he didn't feel that familiar biological reaction to such a sight. Maybe her ears were too small, or it was something off about her hooves- er, hands. Maybe if she wore one of those ponytail butt-plugs. Yeah, a ponytail!

"Oh god..." Anon thought. "I think I might not be attracted to humans anymore!"

"No?" she asked in response. He was certain that he had only thought it. Maybe he just thought it really loudly, or he said it without realizing it. He blushed in embarrassment. She took a step back and shimmered for a moment into a blur and then a bright glare. When the light faded, there was a pony standing before him. Her fur was just as blue, and her hair continued to wave in an unseen wind as her tail and mane, twinkling with stars around her horn. Her wings shuffled for a moment at her sides. She was an alicorn. Taller than Twilight, though still shorter than Celestia. So that narrowed it down to either Cadance, or-

"Princess Luna," she introduced herself.

"How- how are you reading my thoughts?" he asked.

"Your thoughts are all we have here," she said, motioning to the room.

"Wait..." Anon stood up and looked around himself. "I'm still dreaming?"

"Tis my domain." She smirked. "And also... my preferred venue for carnal activities."

Anon didn't need a thesaurus to read her tone and body language. "So, what? You just stroll into a pony's wet dream and go for it?"

"Occasionally. Usually it's nothing so direct. I must confess, more often I am merely a voyeur." Luna blushed for a moment. "My charge in the Dreamscape is to aide ponies suffering from nightmares. Especially foals. But such work is not without its pitfalls. If I could go a whole night without seeing a colt rutting his own mother, it would be a first."

"So wait, your plan was to stroll into my dream and give me a handjob?" he asked.

"No, no!" Luna said. "At least, not at first. I was on my usual patrol and I sensed your distress in your nightmare. But when I came to your aide, I found that you were not a foal, nor even a pony. But I recognized you from my sister's dreams."

"Tia dreamed about me?" he asked.

Luna nodded. "It seems you've left quite an impression on her. Not surprising given your performance tending to her estrus."

"Oh. Did she tell you about that?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No. But she didn't need to. I could feel the tremors in the ether all the way in Silver Shoals."

"You could feel your sister orgasming?" he asked.

Luna winced. "Eh, not so much that, as it was the ethereal disturbance from her magical outburst, and it's... *ahem*, emotional signature. That was what the former queen was able to capitalize on."

"I'm aware." Anon rubbed the back of his neck. "So what? You recognized me, felt envious, and came into my dream for a turn to play with your sister's toy?"

Luna raised a hoof. "Do not take me for some juvenile filly! I came to your aide in your nightmare," she corrected, and then paused for a long moment. "Also, yes. You clearly gave her quite an experience. So I thought I might give you one of my own."

"I'm not going to ascend to a higher plane if I look at your pussy am I?"

Luna snorted indignantly and crossed her hooves. "No! That is a purely Tia problem!" After a moment she relaxed. "What I mean is, since we're in a dream, we can do anything! Even impossible things. That's why I looked into your mind, to mimic a female of your species. I thought that you might enjoy the familiarity of it. But alas, I think you have been in Equestria too long if your tastes have changed so much."

Anon shrugged. "Yeah, well..."

"And yourself?" she asked, placing her hoof gently against his chest. "Are you pleased with this form?"

"It's... the one I know best."

"Does it not pique your curiosity to know what it would be like to be a stallion?" she asked.

"I mean, I guess..."

"Hmm..." Luna mused. "In your next life, perhaps. But for tonight, my estrus need tending. And I seek Anon's happy ending." She crawled onto the bed and looked back at him over her shoulder as she flagged her tail aside. Her marehood was unique. Though, they were all unique to some degree. But the appearance of Luna's was like nothing he had ever seen before. It was the same midnight blue as the rest of her fur. But the blotches of her flank were not just part of her cutie mark. It extended to her loins. Her marehood was dappled! Anon snickered. "What is so amusing!?" she asked indignantly.

"You have pussy freckles!" he said, stifling a giggle. "It's cute!"

"It is NOT cute!" she shouted. "I'm the second most powerful pony in Equestria! My vulva commands your respect and attention!"

"When you yell, it winks, and it's just adorable!" Anon put his hands on his cheeks like he was dawwing at a kitten.

She turned and yelled at him, "STOP IT! Stop teasing us! It winks because- because- thou knows perfectly well WHY!" This time she noticed herself winking when she yelled. "Cease thine jest of thy dapples!"

"Why the fuck are you talking like that?" he asked.

Luna bristled. "Tis- It's... an old habit of our- of mine! It tends to come out when I'm flustered."

"Oh? You're flustered? Because of your pussy freckles?"

"They're dapples! And... yes," Luna admitted. "It's something of a sore subject. Tia used to tease me about them when we were younger."

"Your sister... teased you about the appearance of your marehood?"

Luna rolled her eyes. "I meant that she teased me about my dapples in general!"

"Maybe she was just envious."

"Hmff! Tia envies no pony."

"Are you sure about that?" he asked. "I mean, if a stallion so much as looks at her marehood, he goes blind or insane. As she said herself, it makes dating quite a hassle. But yours! You!" he beamed. "It's sooo cute!"

"Is not!" she retorted with complete lack of the maturity for her age.

"Why is that such a bad thing? There's nothing wrong with being cute. It doesn't mean that you're not attractive. You are! You're genuinely one of the most beautiful ponies I've ever met!"

"But not THE most beautiful..." Luna pouted.

"Wow. Are you a younger sibling or what?" he mocked. "You really need to ditch that inferiority complex. One moment you're telling me how powerful you are, and now this."

Luna huffed at him. "You know, when I heard about your Prima Nocta, I thought I would be the one to claim first night. First NIGHT!" she emphasized. "But that night when I went to visit your dream, Tia had warded you away from me within her bedroom. Even this, she took away from me. She always had to be first."

She slumped over onto his bed and rolled away from him. He laid down next to her, talking to her over her shoulder. "Well, you know, I've been studding all spring. So there were actually quite a few ponies that were before her, if that makes you feel any better."

"It doesn't."

"Well, then..." Anon placed his hand on her shoulder, and rubbed it down along her side, reaching around her to her belly as he went further south, to the crook of her inner thigh. "What about this?" he asked as his hand moved over her thigh to her cutie mark on her flank, before going back again, applying a subtle pressure for her to choose, if she wanted to continue, to roll onto her back, or belly.

She decided on indecision, remaining on her side and laying her cheek against her elbow, but also, spreading her legs just slightly, permitting him access to reach around between them.

His approach was slow and steady, sliding his hand between her teats to the edge of her vulva. She felt it coming, but her breath still hitched at the sensation of his hand's first contact on her pussy. She was noticeably aroused, both hot and wet. He traced his fingers along the outside of it, feeling her smooth, exposed skin amid her soft blue fur. He dragged his finger up along the center without parting her lips, barely touching her. He could feel her impatience growing.

Her hot clitoris winked against his palm, surprising them both. Her whole body twitched at the sensitive contact, and it made her wink a second time quickly. Anon lifted his hand away to save her from being over-stimulated.

"She must really need this," he thought.

"I do," she whimpered, reminding him that she could hear those thoughts.

He pressed his fingers against her pussy again more firmly, sliding between her puffy lips, rubbing up and down along her sticky interior. He dipped lower to the entrance of her needy honey pot, easily getting two, then three fingers inside. He curled his fingers inside her and made small thrusts with them, causing her clit to wink again against his wrist. Her whimpers of desperation had transformed into moans of pleasure.

With his free hand he reached up and wrapped his fingers around her horn, gently, but firmly as he slowly started to stroke it. He moved his hand up and down along the length of her horn, feeling the texture of her spiral ridges against his palm.

She rolled away from him, onto her belly. His position meant he couldn't reach her pussy any more from that angle, so he shifted to go around the other direction. He pulled her tail aside and continued to finger her pussy from behind. Her scent wafted up to him. It was unique and hard to articulate. The closest comparison he could arrive at was poppy blossoms.

His other hand was still stroking her horn, making her wing spring open under him. The adept multi-tasker that he was, he leaned down and started to nibble along the leading edge of her primary feathers to preen her. She quivered under his ministrations. Not like a full orgasm, but something a bit close to being tickled. Her horn pulsed in his hand, briefly giving him the sensation of pins and needles, like it had fallen asleep.

Her wings tensed and flexed, ruffling involuntarily at first, but then with intention as they pointed vertically and then pressed back on his shoulders, directing him down to focus his attention on her hind end. It was her intention that he give her his deep tissue massage. He wasn't precisely sure how he knew what she wanted without her even having to tell him. Perhaps that was how mind reading worked.

"Yes," she purred, answering his un-asked question. Anon kneeled behind her on the bed and added his thumb to the four fingers already inside her and slowly eased his hand in, waiting for her pussy to relax and stretch around his wrist. "Yesss," she purred now for an entirely different reason.

He made small movements at first, thrusting in and out of her, getting deeper each time. He reached under his arm with his free hand to play with her clit as he went deeper. When he was elbow-deep, his fingers still hadn't bottomed out. Even so, he made a fist inside her and rolled his wrist, along with rotating his forearm while he kept thrusting.

Keeping her knees bent Luna folded her wings closed to roll onto her side, and then onto her back completely, taking care not to grip too tightly with her vaginal muscles and spin freely around his arm.

Anon moved his free hand to follow along with her to continuing giving her clit attention. A blue aura of her magic took his wrist and pushed it lower, beside his arm buried in her pussy.

"Really!?" he asked incredulously. She just gave him a wicked grin and nodded. "Okaaay..." He pulled his arm out most of the way to give his other hand slack to slip inside beside the first, placing his palms together like he was praying. Sure enough, he had two hands inside her up to his wrists. A nudge of her magic against his elbows beckoned him to resume his work.

Anon moved slowly into this new territory, expecting her to yelp in pain at any moment, but it never came. Even as he was up to both elbows inside her. With his arms pinned together inside her, it didn't leave him much range of motion. But he did his best. It seemed to please her, as evidenced by her clit winking in front of him. The distance of his upper arms kept his face out of reach of being able to service her orally.

Luna's magic on his shoulders pushed him downward to lay on the bed, with his arms straight out in front of him, in a flying pose like he was Superman. Her magic pulled him to her, taking even his elbows inside her to get his face to her pussy.

Anon's astonishment took a back seat to the task before him. He kissed her clit each time it winked out, and licked her pussy to get it to do so more often. Luna's hips bucked against him, feeling his arms flexing and squirming inside her. Then on the next wink of her clit, he caught it with his lips, giving it a suck, making it swell even larger as she cried out.

Her voice bellowed with the full might of the Royal Canterlot Voice, as though she were a beast many times her size as she came. Her thighs flexed on either side of him, holding him firm along with her magic. He felt her hoof on the back of his head, pressing his face against her pussy. Her clit felt even bigger. The size of a tangerine, or a grapefruit even. But her hoof pushed his head down lower, against his arms as her pussy gushed torrents of her marecum. He felt her magic gripping his whole body shoving him forward. He didn't even have a chance to cry out. All he could do was hold his breath as his head, and the rest of his body followed his arms into the darkness. He could feel the fluid rushing past him as he kicked and squirmed, but it only seemed to make more come.

_

Anon hazarded to open his eyes and he could see the other salmon swimming beside him, their fins were paddling just as hard as his were to get upstream. Driven by instinct to return to the place of his hatching. The cold water of the river rushed through his gills, giving him the oxygen and energy he needed to leap up over the small waterfalls. His first attempt failed. But he did spy a hungry grizzly bear. He readjusted his aim and tried again, safely making it up to the next section of the river. His competitor beside him was not so lucky, leaping directly into the bear's waiting maw. So be it. Less competition at the spawning grounds. It was irrelevant to him if it was survival of the fittest, or merely the luckiest.

_

Sitting beside Anon in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon, Han Solo steered the craft to chase after an errant TIE Fighter.

"Look at him, he's heading for that small moon," the whiney blonde kid in the back seat said.

The older passenger chimed in, "That's no moon... it's a space station. Turn the ship around!"

Han's eyes went wide. "Yeah... I think you're right. Full reverse! Lock in the auxiliary power!"

Anon's furry paw reached out and toggled with dashboard switch.

"Why are we still moving towards it?" the kid complained like it was his job.

Han frantically hit the ship's controls, "We're caught in the tractor beam, and it's pulling us in! There's nothing I can do!"

The tractor beam pulled them inside the giant battle station.

_

Anon's prison cell on the Death Star wasn't so bad. Warm. Cozy. Roomy enough. And he never went hungry. But as months passed, the walls of the cell seemed to close in around him. At first he wasn't sure if he was just imagining it. But soon he could reach opposite sides of it when he was certain that he couldn't before. The longer he was there, the worse it got. He was certain that it had to be some kind of sick, Imperial torture. Even the ceiling was lower. Soon it was no larger than a closet, and then a coffin. It wasn't a prison cell. It was the trash compactor! There was barely room left enough for him to breathe. But there, a small thermal exhaust port! It was barely big enough for him to squeeze through...

~

Anon woke up cradled in Luna's hooves. He must have dozed off earlier. She still seemed larger than life to him. But all that occupied his mind now was how parched he was. Still barely awake, he made an indignant noise somewhere between a groan and a whine. Luna moved him down to her swollen teats. Anon reached out with his hooves to steady himself as he suckled her nourishing milk.

_

Anon blinked awake and spat out the corner of the pillow he was gnawing on. He looked up at the knock at his bedroom door.

"It's time to get up! You need to get ready for the big day!" Luna said.

Anon rubbed his eyes with his hoof and shuffled over through the bedroom door. It closed behind him with a thud that echoed through the cathedral. He walked up to the altar and waited for the music to start. As it did, the doors in the back opened and Luna walked up the aisle, looking the most beautiful he had ever seen his marefriend in all their years together. Her wedding dress sashed behind her as she arrived at the altar.

"I must say, Luna, when you asked me to marry you, I was a bit shocked," Celestia said. Everypony in attendance laughed. "Now I see what you meant," she added, before presiding over the wedding between Luna and Anon.

~

That night, Anon's hooves gripped Luna's waist as he mounted her to consummate their marriage. His stallion hood was gifted in both length and girth, pleasing his beloved mare like nopony else possibly could. He thrusted hard, and he thrusted deep, timing his practiced rhythm in just the right way that he knew she loved. Her wetness splashed against his heavy balls as she came not once, but repeatedly from her lover's superlative stamina and endurance.

But tonight, it was not just about her, and her pleasure. Tonight they were rutting for the sole purpose of procreation. Luna rolled over in their bed and he lifted her butt up onto a foam, wedge pillow. His hooves pinned back her legs into a breeding press as he felt his climax coming. He pushed one last time as hard and as deep as he could as the tip of his stallion cock flared wide against her cervix. His shaft throbbed and pulsed, pumping load after load of his virile seed, to be planted as deeply as it could into his mare, to fill her to the brim with what would surely be a veritable litter of foals.

And to be sure, it would not be for the last time.

_

The dutiful consort to the princess blessed her with many, many heirs. Most of them even had foals of their own. It made his room quite crowded when they all came to visit him. Anon's beloved wife, Luna, looking as young and radiant as the day they met, sat by his bedside, holding his brittle, wrinkled hoof. His foals, grandfoals, and great grandfoals all looked at him with sad eyes. Anon looked back with blurred vision as tears of joy filled his eye. His smile, now toothless, was still filled with just as much warmth as he remembered the many long, happy years of his rich life. One by one they came and went until only Luna remained.

"What do you say?" she asked him. "Up for one last ride?"

She didn't have to ask. The answer was yes. It had always been yes. Though she had to be on top now, and take care to spare his hips.

"Luna, I- I can't breathe!" Anon gasped. But not from pleasure. It looked like his drinking had finally caught up to him. "Are my eyes yellow?" he asked. She sat on his chest to look. She felt like she weighed as much as an elephant. The bed frame under him broke in half. He could barely speak as she looked into his eyes.

"No, they're clear!" she yelled in his face as she poked him hard in the chest with the tips of her hooves, shocking him like static electricity.

"That hurt!" Anon cried. His eyes went wide as Luna grabbed a knife and stabbed him in the chest.

"CLEAR!"

"FUCK!" Anon's screamed as his entire body bucked and he lurched upright in his bed. His old bed. The one that was outside in the yard. There were a couple ponies standing around him. Closest to him was Nurse Redheart, still holding a pair of defibrillator panels, looking at him like she was seeing a ghost. The other was Princess Twilight.

Anon looked down at himself. He noticed two things. Firstly was the adrenaline needle still lodged in his chest. And secondly, he was butt naked in his bed, the frame of which was broken in half. And he was covered in, what he hoped was his own, cum, and a whole lot of other fluid that couldn't be just his own sweat. He was still hyperventilating from the shot.

"The fuck happened!?" he asked.

"I should ask you the same thing!" Twilight said. Anon shrugged. "I woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare about you being in trouble and needing help. I don't know why, but I felt compelled to rush over here. You're lucky Nurse Redheart was here!"

"I had a nightmare too!" Redheart said, pulling the needle out of Anon's chest and bandaging the puncture. "Before I even realized I was awake, I was sprinting over here across town with my crash cart!"

They all looked over at the noise of the changeling tapping on the glass window inside his house. Twilight walked over and opened the front door. "Was this your doing!?"

"No!" Chrysalis defended. "I saw the whole thing! Anon got up in the middle of the night and started running around in the house like a lunatic! When I realized he was sleepwalking, I tried to help him, but he ran outside to the old bed and laid down. I was trapped in here, and I couldn't help him as he started disrobing and... I don't know what he was doing! Thrashing? It looked like he was wrestling a bear in his sleep, and then... well, he made a mess of himself and broke the bed."

"I'm so dehydrated..." Anon wheezed. "Twi... grab me something to drink out of my fridge..."

Twilight walked into the house. The rattle of glass bottles in the fridge was followed by a disapproving huff. "Dammit, Anon! Do you have anything that isn't alcoholic!?"

"Just grab something..." he groaned.

"Ah ha!" Twilight walked back with an empty bottle. "I should have realized what this was when you were drinking it last night!" The label said Applezzz. She pointed at the list of ingredients on the back of it with her hoof. "Here, look!"

Anon squinted at the print. "Uh... water, apple juice, alcohol, uh, I can't pronounce that one, and..."

"Ketamine!" Twilight shouted.

Anon blinked at her. "So...?"

Redheart's hoof smacked him upside the head. "Ket is for horses, you dumb motherfucker!"

Author's Note

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