James and Hans are finally allowed into Dash's room after what feels like hours. She looks a little wasted, but I bet she could become a regular drinker. The two stallions stand there, awkwardly. A nod later, they take a seat and watch.

After an hour, the other elements enter (-Twilight), and they decide to take a seat. The two groups stare uncomfortably. Both decide it best to look away.

Maybe twenty minutes later, a groan comes from the bed. The mares rush towards the noise as the stallions grin. "Looks like she'll jump some more, eh?" James adds quietly.

"Yes…" Hans frowns. "Why is, er, was your song about jumping and dying, anyways?" he asks. "Seems demoralizationizing… wait…"

"Insensitivedizationizinger," James adds. "Was that a word? Insunsotivudizationizonger. Insa-"

"Enough," Hans winces. "My head hurts already without this language shit…"

By now, Dash has woken up. She looks around, holding a hoof over her head. "Ugh… why am I…?"

"Dashie!" Fluttershy shouts, hugging Dash tight. Dash starts to hyperventilate. Noticing this, Fluttershy takes a step back, causing Dash to calm down. "Oh, sorry…"

"Well, ya here cause those two stallions," Applejack indicates to James and Hans, who wave, "gave you a drink of some pretty bad stuff,"

"Nah, I think... I stole it," Dash coughs. Looking to the two stallions, she asks "Got any… more?" The three grin.

"Ya know it!" The other four mares look like they'll have a heart attack.

"What… Dashie… why?!" Fluttershy asks, audibally hurt.

"It's a joke..." Dash manages. "Also, I do... feel much... better,"

"How's your head?" Hans asks.

"...we don't talk... about that," the three laugh, all stopping with a wince and a hoof to their heads. "Ah, yeah… I… ugh,"

"Eh, we'll have some more ready Sunday, I hope," Five days is optimistic, but Hans is optimistic. Plus, with some magic...

"Alright, now... could I get... some sl-" Dash passes out during her sentence.

"Huh, that's… new," James says.

FOUR HOURS LATER

"Yeah. That doc was an asshole. Wasn't even good, either. Fuckin' idiot. Anyways, we shot him the next day," James takes another drink from his third bottle this night. "Oh, don't you get me started on the gi-"

"Um…" Hans catches James' attention and points to the mares. "You may have broke them,"

After seeing Dash, the group had gone to the library to talk. Pinkie had immediately drunk three bottles of booze and fell asleep, surprising everyone. She missed most of the stories, though, so she was bound to be disappointed. Applejack, try as she might, could barely stomach one drink. She needs more for the totally PG-13 stories, however, so she has some cider if her own. She didn't need it now that she was slumped over, asleep

Rarity had her own wine, and seemed to be rather drunk herself; she is a lady of class, no matter what the passed out form of her said. Fluttershy, on the other hoof, didn't have a drink, and being sober for this was good nightmare material. As a result, she had curled herself up into a ball, shivering. And it's only 4. These… these… monsters!

"Ah well. You still with us, yellow one?" James asks, slurred. Fluttershy continued shaking. Alert, James started looking for signs of shock. "Uh… problem, I think,"

"Hm?" Fluttershy snaps as her head darts up. "Oh I'll be fine around you two things I'll be fine around two monsters what could go wrong?!?!" Fluttershy huddles further inwards. Whispering, she says "pleasedonthurtmepleasedonthurtmepleasedo-"

"Boo!" Hans lunges forwards. Screaming, Fluttershy faints. "Beautiful!"

"James…" James looks disappointed.

"Huh? Ah yes… well… erm…"

"You got her," The stallions chuckle, not wanting to risk a headache. "Well, I wanna sleep this piece of shit off, but it's only what, 4:30? 5?"

"I couldn't agree more," Hans says, holding a hoof to his forehead.

"So… what are your plans? For the future?" James now had a philosophical tone. He had never thought his own out, and now is a good time to start as any.

"Well, I suppose I want a job of some sort, ideally not of killing,"

"Yeah, me too. But the thing is I hate farmin'," James complains. "But since we're stupid earth ponies…"

"Well…" Hans has a thought. "I'm sure that this place has a military which could use advisors on some of our gear…"

"Or you could be a historian," Twilight calls from the stairs. Both stallions turn, startled.

"Ey, it's purple princess pony!" James says. "How're you?"

"I'm fine," Twilight takes a seat in the lounge. "Onto the offer. Think about it. We know nothing of your history. You could teach us so much! Both of you!"

"Well, you see," Hans starts sheepishly. "I'm a junker…"

"Oh? Those guys were… meh," James comments. "I took a few history classes. Ok, a lot. Ok it's my major,"

"Perfect! We can start tomorrow!" Twilight says happily.

James' eyes widen as the gravity of the situation hits him. "Umm… an interview? Well shit, goodbye hopes for humanity"

"Now come on, it can't be that bad,"

"..."

"Point taken," Twilight sighs. "Well, it's still good to know,"

"Aye, I'd drink ta that!" At this, James and Hans clink glasses. "For humanity!" A drink. "For history!" Another drink. "For… um…"

"For whatever the hell we did to end up here!" Both stallions finish their drinks, chuckling.

Twilight stares at the 2. "What does that mean on your world…?" She takes a step back.

"We were cheering. Why? Is there a problem?" Hans asks, looking curious.

"That's a way to signal… less than dignified wants here, such as… um… rape,"

"Ey, just like college days!" Both stallions roar with laughter, attempting to high five. When they collide, James shouts "Shit!" as he pulls his hand away, Hans copying him. Twilight, losing her fear, has a pad and pen out.

"Interesting… I still don't know about human anatomy…" She pens down Clapping different human - friendship?

"Junker education! Huzzah!" The two stallions finish drinking and start to clean up. "Well… we start tomorrow, correct? What time"

"Hopefully eight," Twilight says, glaring towards Spike's room.

"Alright, imma need help getting these o- oh, they're gone," James shrugs, seeing no other ponies. "See ya!" Both stallions leave, both looking as if they hadn't drunk a thing.

Twilight sighs, yet wears a smile. She had thought of those two stallions in some... less than dignified positions. "Ok, Trixie, I hope you're ready for some stress relief…"

Yet again. Not porn. Be gone horny from this story.

Author's Note

So... funny mare isn't r'arded.

More Panik to come, don't worry.