James wakes up, feeling fine. Laying there, he thinks about everything. His life, where he is now. Another day, another… huh, I guess that dead Jerry doesn't apply anymore. James only then realizes how much he has learned about how life should be lived. He sighs. We got shit to do, that's right.

Yawning, he rolls out of bed and double checks his room for his knife, his helmet, and his pack. As per usual, all was ready to go. As per usual, he doesn't touch it. It is… not a reminder, but a reassurance. He likes it.

Moving to the bathroom, he decides a quick shower is in order. After a few minutes of furious scrubbing under warm water- what a feeling - he steps out, satisfied, and leaves to continue his routine.

He walks down the hall to Hans' room. The warm lightfrom the sun makes him feel comfortable. Dash is a wealthy mare if she can afford this house and a mansion. He knocks on the door to Hans' room, and shouts: "Get up you fat arse cunt, or I-"

"Yeah yeah," Hans grumbles, opening the door. "Nice to see you too, yankee," His hair - no, mane - is disheveled. His eyes look tired, but the spring in his step as he gets his cap says otherwise. "So, what is your plan for today?"

"We have a job now, so get cleaned up," Hans' eyes immediately light up as he nods, retreating to get a change of clothes and towel.

"I'll be quicker this time!" He offers.

"Yeah, sure!" James calls out. Chuckling, James moves to make breakfast. The Junker often spends twenty minutes in there doing God knows, so James can easily make some eggs and bacon for the pair. How odd that no one sold any bacon. James had to kill a pig himself, poor pig… About 10 minutes later, he takes the eggs off the stove as Hans comes walking out. "Just on time, eh?" James passes a plate loaded with food. "Couldn't have been faster?"

"Well, I couldn't work, now could I?" Hans chuckles. He takes his plate and starts to eat his bacon.

"Well, I can hope," The two settle down to eat, continuing to tell stories of their past: dreams, friends, enemies… They both need it, and knowing that they are not alone is comforting. They really shared quite a bit of backstory, even if it was with slight details changing: brother/sister, location, etc...

"Well, I hate to be a bugger, but we ought to get goin'," James says, picking up their plates.

"Yes. I will admit that biology was not my strong suit, but I shall try," Hans says, slightly worried.

"Right on," Setting the dishes on the counter, James finishes cleaning as Hans double checks the map. A minute later, they leave for the library.

The two set off down the dirt road, an uneasy silence reining. The trees in this forest brought up bad memories... James wants to talk and break the silence, but something feels off with Hans. "So…" he starts. Silence reigns for a full minute, until they reach town.

"What? That's it?" A snort. "And just when I thought you weren't mute," Hans points left, cutting James off.

"Well, we're talking, right?" James says. "Those trees were… unsettling,"

"I… fair enough," Hans looks sorrowful, surely remembering his own guerilla campaigns. The two trot on, lost in thought, for a good ten minutes

"Hey, the library!" Stepping forward, James knocks on the door. "You have the map, and yet I find it!"

"I-"

"Come on in!" The doors swing open. "Welcome to- oh, hello!" Twilight had a happy look on her face, albeit a bit creepy. "Here to start, huh?"

"Yessir," James says, taking off his pack. Twilight indicates their interview area with a hoof.

"Alright! Let me grab my notes! Hans, you'll be with Spike, and James with me," Twilight finally finds her notebook. "Aha! Here we go. Follow me!" The stallions part with a shrug and head to their assigned stations.

The two take a seat at an inconspicuous table, surrounded with bookshelves on all but one side. It seems to be in the history section, based on the biographies and studies.

"So, James, when did your country unify?" Twilight begins.

"Unify…?" James is clearly confused.

"Yeah! Your three tribe-" Twilight realizes the problem: she can't slap her world into his. "Oh wait… start from the top,"

"Ok, but you asked," James says, thinking hard. After ten seconds, Twilight interrupts him.

"Hey, yo-" Twilight pokes James.

"At some point, there was nothing. Nil. Nadda. Then, nothing became something. How?" A shrug catches Twilight by surprise. "I don't know. However, the things expand, eventually becoming the universe…"

James talks about Earth's creation, the first land life, dinosaurs, and more. Theories, mostly. Eventually, he gets past the Ice Age, and keeps on going; mammoths, saber tooths, how they affected human development.

The talking was very one sided, but Twilight kept her full attention to the conversation. However, enough is enough, even for her.

"So, onto the actual human history. You reme-"

"Uh, hey, could I have lunch now?" Twilight asks, annoyed. James looks at a clock, and nods sheepishly as he reads 2:07. He had promised her a lunch at noon, after all. "Thanks," The sarcasm drips heavily in her voice.

"Yeah, no problem," Twililght's right ear twitches. "Speak of the devil, I'm pretty hungry too…"

"We have plenty of leftover sandwiches if you want one," Twilight offers.

James raises a brow. "What kind?" He has a hopeful look in his eyes. Damn, ham sounds good.

"Daffodil, of course," She rolls her eyes. "The best kind,"

James' face falls. "No meat? Damn," James pulls out a stick of jerky from the box he has in his pack.

Twilight stops moving, horrified. "Why would you want meat?! And... is that meat?!"

"Hey, I like a normal diet," James says, offended. "I'm not vegan," He was getting pissed at this mare's behavior.

"Yes, bu- oh, that's right," Twilight sighs. "Well, ponies shouldn't eat meat…"

James' face falls. "What,"

"Well, we aren't meant to proce-"

"I've already eaten, um, I don't know, maybe half a pig?" He sighs contently.

"What's a pig?" James proceeds to draw a pig using his fantastic art skills. "Why does it have spikes…?" James puts a palm to his face.

"That's a nose… hey Hans!" James calls out

"Yes?"

"Draw a pig!"

"Very well!" Five minutes later, a perfect pig had been drawn. Twilight promptly started gagging. "What, did I do something wrong?"

"Ponies usually don't eat meat. Dietary, I assume, although veganism wouldn't be far fetched, with ponies like the yellow one..."

"Oh my… we shall have to eat it ourselves, eh?" He sighs. "And now I need a new snack for the surprise party!" The last part was a whisper.

"What now?" James asks, interested. "A party?"

"I said, now we can teach those farmers something!" Almost gave it away!

"Ah, we could… or we could spare them trauma and do it ourselves…" James suggests.

"Fair enough," Hans sighs. "Though that mea-"

"You eat those?!" Twilight shrieks, having regained her sense of being.

"Yes! Now stop screeching before I pop a cap in your head!"

"Pop a what now?" Twilight asks, still nervous. "Do you mean eat me?!"

"No, but I'll shoot you, you wank!" A heavy silence falls over the group.

Hans starts laughing. Hard. Probably a harmful amount. But he didn't care. "You just… called the… princess… a wank?!" He snorts, able to control himself. "Even I know what that means," James grows deathly pale.

"Um…" James frowns. "Sorry…?"

"What's 'wank' mean?" Twilight asks, suddenly curious. And furious. Hans cracks up again at the sight.

"Erm…" James shifts away.

"He just… said you're… a wanker!" Hans slams the table. "Hehe…"

"What's it mean, though?!"

"He suggests… that you'd… jack off… comedy gold!" Hans finally got his laughter down. He starts clapping. "Oh, lovely!"

"What's that mean?!" Twilight advances a step, forcing James back one.

"Why… what does this world call masturbating?" Hans manages, still wheezing.

"Clopping, why do you… you didn't…" Twilight snarls.

"As I said, comedy gold!" Hans continues laughing.

James, deciding he's fucked anyways, manages to let out a large string of loosely related insults, some too inappropriate to add here.

After a minute, Hans could breathe; it took him three to stop laughing.

"Well?! What is it this time?!" Twilight snaps. "Piece by piece!"

"He just… well, let's see… do you have a brother?"

"Yes,"

"Well, now it appears you fuck him and your dad." Twililght's face drops into an expression of shock.. "Hmm, then he called you a 'vegan arsed bloody piped jerry', no? So know, you're a German with a bloody cock and hate meat. On-"

"I… what?" Twilight says, snarling.

"Well… don't take it personally. I've called my mom worse," James adds proudly. For some reason.

Twililght's eyes open wide. "Why?"

"Because I know you well enough to know you won't go runnin' off," He ponders for a moment. "Well, I forgot that ponies take it so literal… we'd be siblings in all but blood back home, so we'd call each other some awful things. All in good fun, though,"

"So… you suggested I had a bloody cock because you trust me?"

"...maybe,"

A laugh from Hans. "Americans! Love it!"

"Well… I mean…" In a whisper, Twilight adds "I do have magic, and I can, erm, do that…" She recieves two hard stares. "What? I-"

"Ithinkweshouldgetbacktohistoryyesstoneagetime!" James says hurriedly, shoving Twilight along.

"Well… see you soon, I suppose," Hans calls out to the pair. "Bloody cock," he whispers. "You're going to get us killed,"

ROUGHLY FIVE

"So, let me get this straight… about 500 years just dissapeared?!" A gasping Twilight asks. What?! How?!

"Well… yeah, no one wrote it down…" James replies sheepishly.

"Oh my… ok, you may continue. But first, who are 'muslims' and 'christians'?"

"Oh boy fuckin joy toy bibly coy roy so-" James grows a hateful look in his eyes.

"Umm…" Twilight prods him.

"Sorry, touchy subject," He sighs. "So, Jesus Christ was…"

AN HOUR LATER

"And so, this Goering ended your world?" A nod. "Fascinating… well, that is all the time we have today,"

"Ok. We'll go in depth tomorrow. So, ya have dinner plans?"

A blush from Twilight. "I thought you knew I-"

"Already ate? Huh, I see," James then remembers what dates were. He lets out a soft laugh, shaking his head. "Wait wait wait… you know I'm gay, right?"

Twilight blushes harder. "No…"

James laughs heartily. "Ok, so what if we had dinner as friends?"

"I have plans with Trixie and my friends…"

"And I'm not your friend?" A quick grin from James.

"Well, it was supposed to be… private…"

James stops moving for a second. "...Ok. Well, I guess I better get changed. Don't want to get my suit dirty, huh?" A low chuckle emits from his throat. Twilight feels bad, knowing what's about to happen.

As James moves down the hall to flip on the lights on, a certain Pink party pony gets the switch before him. "Surprise!" the five non-Twilight elements and Spike shout.

Instantly acting, James grabs Pinkie and gets behind her, moving to snap her neck. "Hey James, what are you-" A crack sounds out as Pinkie slumps down, unconscious. Or dead.

The celebration stops. The Ponies stare, minus Hans, who is shaking his head. A balloon floats bye lazily. James takes a step back, says "Oh, sorry," and grabs a drink. "Scared me,"

"Wha- bu- go-" Applejack starts.

"You little shit!" Dash seethes. "Wha…"

"What? She's gone. We'll be fine," James casually adds. He takes a drink of his bottle. "That's some good shit,"

"How can you call yourself a pony?!"

"I don't, I'm human," Taking a plate, James gets a slice of cake. "Do get her a bed, though," He comments, shoveling cake in his mouth. "Fuh, thas goo,"

"Why, so you can stare at her?!"

"Wha? o, I' o per! 'ust wa her o be omorale when she ges up,"

"I- woah woah woah. What,"

James lets out a laugh. "Wha, fough we 'ille on ona?" A swallow. "Not when we got the chance for a prisoner," he replies. "Damn, good cake,"

"I- huh?!?!" Dash falls on her plot, utterly confused.

"Dash, they were a species of war," Twilight adds. "Him especially. I'm sure he was trained to do that, and not think twice," Twilight adds soothingly. "It's like… flying!"

"I…" Dash puts her hoofs to her head. "Ok!"

"Also, if we wanted to, you'd all be dead," Hans comments, getting his own slice of cake.

"What do you mean? Trixie has magic!" A proud Trixie declares. She stands there, tall and proud, ready to face anything.

A smile. "And I, my friend, have a… what's it called? Kolibri, specifically made for use without fingers. My father was a Great War vet, so…"

Almost anything. "What's a Kolibri? Trixie demands to know!" She says this with slightly less confidence. Trixie, if it's a-

"Watch," Hans pulls it out from under his old hat (minus the nazi symbols; his rank was his pride) and casually shoots every ballon in the room. When finished, a tap causes the Kolibri to reload. The ponies stare, awestruck at this device. He held it in a hoof, after all.

"Pretty good. Fuck, where's my-" James starts, looking for his M1911. Not that he can use it.

Trixie felt herself freeze. Move! "Um… Trixie must… head upstairs!" Trixie gallops up the stairs, full speed ahead. Her hat falls off of her head as she scrambles to gain speed.

"I…" Twilight sighs, saddened and worried by Trixie's absence. "Will learn more tomorrow," Galloping off, Twilight runs upstairs. I hope she's ok...

"So…" Rarity says awkwardly. "Would you mind showing us how this works?" She receives multiple odd stares. "What? It seems nice,"

"Certainly, Miss…?" Hans replies questioningly.

"Rarity," Rarity says, blushing. He called me miss Rarity! The joy!

"So, to start-" Hans is cut off by glass breaking and a violent scream. "Give me a minute, madam," Hans says without thinking, making Rarity blush further. What a gentlecolt!

"Uh… that's the blue horned one, right?" James is guessing which mare is screaming. "Tricky? Trucky? Trizzy? Trixie!" James shoots up an arm, then immediately brings it down. "Well damn… that gun fucked her up, didn't it..." He sighs.

"I suppose so. That does not mean, however…" Hans turns to Rarity, tipping his hat. "…that I shall not show you how to shoot,"

"W-why, thank you…"

"No problem,"

At this point, Trixie ran downstairs, chased by Twilight. "Let Trixie go!"

"But I love you!"

"If you loved Trixie, you'd let her leave!"

Seeing a chance, James lunges forwards and grabs Trixie. "Hey hey he-"

Trixie screams in sheer terror. She attempts to pivot, but gets caught anyways. "NOOOOOOOOOO!" Struggling away, she keeps screaming, flailing wildly. Once Twilight reaches them, Trixie remembers she can buck James, causing him to release her, grunting. Seeing a chance, Trixie dashes into Twilight, who stumbles a little. Her screams finally calm into quiet whimpers. Twilight holds her tight as the two head upstairs, Trixie sobbing into Twililght's shoulder.

"Huh… hey Hans," James asks, holding his shoulder with a hoof.

"Yes?"

"Got any spare coke? I want to offer these fine ponies a... special drink. And I want some too," The two go into the back room, grinning, to make possibly the last batch of magichol as the four sit, dumbfounded. "I hate memories,"

"Um… no party?" Dash says, puzzled. She recieves a hard glare from Fluttershy.

KITCHEN

"So, who wants a shot?" James calls out to the ponies and the dragon. The ponies nod nervously as Spike sighs, shaking his head as he heads to his room.

"Ok! Hey, another bottle in case one pulls a Dash, yeah?" James shouts the first word as Hans sets up. "How long this time?" He watches a nearby clock.

"I'd say… four minutes," Hans starts mixing the ingredients.

"Four minutes!" James calls. Applejack nods weakly, still dumbfounded.

"Ok… that here… this there… shake that…" Rarity walks in the room. "Hello, milady," Hans says, not paying attention. Rarity giggles, getting his attention. "Oh, you like the milady bit, hm?"

"I should go-" Rarity starts, blushing.

"Now come on, milady, it's nothing shocking. You do deserve the title,,"

"Well…" Another giggle, then a sigh. "My friends have taken this rougher. It would be… uncouth to abandon them," Rarity leaves with a wistful smile.

"Ey, someone scored a hit!" James immediately comments, earning a blush. Raising a brow, he says "Oh?"

"Well, Miss Rarity is a… mare of class. Also… that day was… day zero," Hans swallows painfully. He is referring to the day he would get home, finally done with his four year draft.

James winces. "I'm sorry," he says. "To think I was ready for another twenty years of that…"

"Well, at least I wasn't engaged," Hans says dismissively.

"So, you want a strong start?" A nod. "Well… wish you luck," James sighs, setting his helm down.

Hans chuckles. "Just think about it… A month ago, we'd have paid fifty marks to kill each other. Now, you're wishing me luck in romance,"

"Huh… yes I am," James thinks, grinning. "Ya know this says something about human nature…"

Hans raises a brow. "Really?"

James laughs. "Nah. Fuck off, cunt,"

"How polite," he comments dryly. Just then, he checks the pot. "Oh, call the girls! Drinks are done!"

"Oh shit!" Preparing his voice, James shouts "Drinks are done!"

Hans fills four shot glasses and puts them on a tray. As James serves the ponies, Hans brings out two bottles for the stallions.

"Ok, here's the first shot," James says. "But be careful. Last time, when Dash had that full drink…"

"Yeah yeah, whatever," Dash pouts.

"So… this much should be safe?" Fluttershy asks nervously.

James shrugs. "I have no fucking clue, I'm not a pony expert,"

"Well, bottoms up! Yee-" Applejack slams half of her drink down. "-Hoh!… ah… Dashie washie, ya warent so weak, now were ya," Applejack giggles.

Fluttershy takes a hesitant sip. "Oh my, that's strong…"

Rarity takes an eager sip. "Quite… potent,"

Dash follows Applejack's example. "Yere newt so bad yerself, Appiewappie, even if yew are drinken"

"Cheers!" The stallions clink bottles and take a drink. As in, Hans mimics Rarity's controlled sips and James slams down half of the bottle. "Fuck, that's hard!"

The ponies seem to not notice the gesture, however. "Ey! Yah take that back-" Applejack shouts at Dash before she slams down the other half of the mixture. "Or I'll… mumumumu…" Applejack yawns as she falls out of her chair. She looks up and yawns, settling down into a ball on the floor. "Mumumumu…" She falls asleep.

"Oh yeee," Dash finishes her concoction. "Imma… imma… imma hug ye to deeth, then imma rape ye sexe bodee…" Dash manages to hug Applejack, but then falls asleep. James stares, eyebrow raised. "Um…"

"Eh… they'll be fine," Hans says, finding a steady heartbeat in each of them. "Maybe a bit too hungover, but…"

"Oh hic my, this is some strong stuff," Rarity says, looking at Hans with pursed lips. "Mm, that feels very warm and comfy…" She falls out of her chair, giggling.

Hans sighs. "Well, I must treat lady Rarity to bed, it would appear. I shall see you shortly,"

Tipping his hat, Hans shoulders an eager Rarity, bringing her to a guest room. "Ohohooh,"

"So… how're you holdin' up there?" James asks Fluttershy. She bits her bottom lip nervously.

"Um… a little tipsy," she squeaks.

"Well, your friend did that, so I'd say your fi-" James starts.

"Oh give me that," Fluttershy snatches James' bottle, drinking it all in one gulp.

James feels his eyes widen. "Uh… wha…" A tense minute passes as Fluttershy stares James down. "So, you're a heavy drinker I take?" He grabs another two bottles, passing one to Fluttershy

"Yep. Dash can be a real pain in the plot," The mare accepts the bottle eagerly. "Oooh yeah…"

A snort. "Sounds about right,"

"So… what do you want to do?"

"Well, let's see… I'm a stallion… alone with a drunk mare…" seeing a look of horror, James stops, laughing. "Relax, I'm not an asshole,"

"Well… even the best of people can be rapists,"

"Oh? Experience?"

"Stories,"

"Well, that's good,"

"It sure is," Fluttershy sighs. She gains her trademark blush. Shuffling her hooves, she looks up, rather nervous. "Ya know… I wasn't, uh… turned off by your talk…"

Eyes widening, James manages a "Uh huh wha?" He sputters part of his drink.

"Well… I'm rather pent up, you see…"

Hans was met with quite a sight upon leaving Rarity. He joins in, and eventually the three stop to talk and drink. Drink away the pain and sorrow. Drink away the memories. Drink away the world.

And the night. None of them got more than an hour of sleep.

TWILIGHT'S ROOM, POINT OF DISSENTION

Trixie is still crying desperately as Twilight sets her down. "Listen… Trixie-"

"Has something she should talk about, but doesn't have too yet," Twilight moves in to hug her marefriend. Trixie gladly accepts it, her shaking somewhat subsiding.

"Well… Trixie's going too anyways," She starts to breathe in and out slowly.

Twilight tucks the two ponies in with magic. "Whatever it is, you're safe with me,"

Trixie cuddles closer to her marefriend, forgetting her worries for a second. The two sit there in silence for a full minute. Eventually, Trixie looks up.

"Trixie had a… subpar family…" Looking up, scared of being despised, she merely saw Twilight's caring gaze. Her breathing calms a little. "Trixie's brother wasn't mean while he was around, but he ignored her. Probably smart of him…"

Twilight stops herself from interrupting to correct the self deprecating comment as she wipes away part of Trixie's tears. "You're safe here,"

"So… Trixie's mother was neglectful at best, nearly a... s-slave driver at worst. Yes. She would b-beat Trixie for nothing," Trixie's painful confessions cause Twilight to feel a deep rage in her very soul. Why?! She's so perfect! "B-but Trixie's d… paternal parent was worst," Trixie now starts crying harder.

"O-often… he w-would… beat Trixie. Tell her that she's a worthless good-for-nothing talentless roach," Trixie huddles further inwards as Twilight becomes a spirit of anger and pain, holding Trixie tighter. "Th-that was on a good day." Trixie takes a minute to calm down, her tears threatening to drown her.

"On a m-mediocre day, he would use any object, anything, on Trixie… " Trixie pulls down her cape to reveal several deep red welts. "And he scarred her…" Twilight gasps as she hugs the shaking mare tighter.

"B-but on the b-bad nights… he wou…" Trixie has to stop for a moment. "...he would… rape Trixie," Trixie is pressed deep into Twilight as she whispers her woes. She stops crying, too afraid to do anything but breath. Her body shook with each sob. Twilight quivers with rage as she experiences an epiphany. Trixie is broken. It's obvious now, yet…

At this moment, a burning fire of anger was born in Twilight. "Twi… you there?" She understood why Trixie was scared of seemingly little things. "T-twi?" She understood why some stallions would claim a murder was in revenge for a rape. "N-no…" Because at that moment, she wanted to rip Trixie's family in half and tear them into pieces. "N-no!" She wanted to burn them alive. She wanted to-

"T-twilight?! Twilight, d-don't leave Trixie!" Trixie screans. "Please!" The mare breaks down further, pressing her face into Twililght's chest. "I need you here!"

"Trixie… where is your family?"

"Dead…"

"Good," Twililght's rage is partially replaced with sorrow.

"He… he had a gun, like the one that stallion used…"

"It's ok, Trixie. I understa-"

"H-he would hold it to Trixie's head, and say… bad things," Twilight felt her rage returning. "T-trixie had to… let him fuck her like a toy, or he would shoot... Trixie was the Weak and Powerless," Trixie starts sobbing into Twililght's shoulder again. "It's all been fake! My power, my greatness, my… me! I'm fake!" Trixie continues to sob.

"Trixie, is there something I can do to help?" Twilight quietly asks, petting her marefriend.

"Never leave me! Never ever ever ever leave me!" Trixie leaves the embrace and wraps up into a ball, shivering as Twilight wraps around her to the best she can. The two lay there, finding comfort in each other until they fall prey to Luna's realm. "Thank you," Trixie falls into a fitful sleep, comforted by Twililght's presence.

Author's Note

Writing this felt like stabbing myself. Repeatedly. Not that I know what that feels like, but man...

If you ever think about trying suicide, think about this: you can always do something to help others. That's what kept me going for a while. Suicide hotline (us): 1-800-233-8255