"So… what now?" James asks as the teleport is finished. He is surprised, no doubt, but he hides it well. "There's more of us?"

"Yes," Celestia confirms, worried. "Follow me," As the three, including Hans, walk into the bedroom, they find Luna huddled in a corner as a brown Earth Pony (Ivan) does some Russian Dancing™.

"So, we have two Russians?" James asks. "That sounds awful. Ones good, but Twi-"

"And who might you be?" The blue Earth Pony (Tommy) asks back. His eyes hold a good amount of suspicion. I don't like this…

"James. US Army. Hooah!" He throws a hoof into the air. "Though that's not exactly appreciated here…" His hoof hits the ground.

"Tommy," He seems relieved. "Her Majesty's Royal Air Force. Not this one, mind you. Who's the friend?" He nods to Hans, who looks pale.

"Well… promise you'll hear me out?" James asks hesitantly.

Tommy looks suspicious. "Maybe…"

"I have a knife and koli," James threatens lightheartedly.

"Sure! I'll sit here and do absolutely nothing!" Tommy keeps his hooves in his lap as he sits down.

"Hans here was a nazi but he's one of those Germans who grew up on Propoganda and never saw behind the scenes.

"Pleasure to meet you," Hans says, extending a hand. He receives a slap in return. "Yes, I suppose I do deserve that…"

"German?!" Ivan shouts, worried. "But… this is heaven, no?!"

James sighs. "Keep in mind that this guy grew up being told that we were beneath him, and he has seemed better," He concentrates hard. What's that name…

"So he's a Jemmy?" Tommy asks.

"Right, that's what they're called…" He shakes his head. It's been that long…

"So, who're the sun 'n' moon ladies?" Tommy asks. "Seemed to be in charge,"

"Celestia and Luna respectively. They are literal goddesses, too, so…"

"Thoughtful. But why she scared of Russian Dancing™?" Ivan asks, smirking.

"She has been in a bad boat. Apparently she was a bit of a devil at one point, so it's weighed down on her," Hans adds. He is still uncomfortable, but knows that time will heal best.

"Speak of the devil, got a drink or two? I'm bloody thirsty," Tommy looks hopeful. "Ivan said we needed to lose weight,"

"Wine, beer, vodka, or a personal favorite of mine?" James asks. "I am judging,"

Tommy grins. "I'll 'ave a beer, please,"

"Vodka," Ivan answers. "And not because I Russian. I like vodka," He looks wistful. "Good times…"

"As you wish, I obey," Hans bows before leaving. Well… I'm fucked, aren't I?

"Bit of a cookoo, ain't he?" Tommy asks.

"He's polite, I'll give 'im that much,"

Just then, Celestia approaches the group. "So, I trust you will be better than the other one was…"

"Woah… she's tall," Tommy says. "Just how I-"

Ivan slaps him. "Is no good to do that. Diplomacy work, da? No be you,"

"Yeah, yeah… bitch…" He rubs his cheek. "Sorry, gut reaction,"

"Well, I welcome you to Equestria!" Celestia flourishes her wings. "I hope you have a wonderful life here! Now if you'll excuse me…" Celestia teleports herself and her sister away.

"…Is there war?" Ivan asks, finally approaching the unapproachable question. Tommy looks desperate to know as well.

"I'm back!" Hans brings in a vodka and three beers, handing them out. "Enjoy!"

"Thanks. To your question, no. No war," James confirms.

"Bloody hell. That sounds great," Tommy sighs. "Get to live again…"

"Took me a while to get used to, and I'm not fully recovered. Probably never will… but it's not something I regret," James answers firmly. "Fucking fascists!"

"Aye, three cheers to that!" The group clinks glasses as Twilight walks in.

"Why… you can't clone, can you?" Twilight frowns. "That would be… inconvenient,"

"Oi, who's purple pus-" Ivan slaps Tommy again. "Ah! Bitch! Sorry, who's purple pony?" He smiles sheepishly, receiving a hard stare from Ivan.

"I am a princess," Twilight says, huffing. "Princess of Friendship,"

"Pff, you sure as hell aren't my Royal," Tommy takes a drink. "Mm, fuck…"

Twilight narrows her eyes. "Is this one a problem?" she asks the other three.

"Nyet," Ivan reassures. "Just… new and confusion. Confused," he corrects.

"Unuh…" Turning to James, she asks "Where's Celestia?"

"She teleported somewhere," He shrugs and swigs. "I don't really know, nor do I much care,"

"Ok," Twilight charges her horn hastily. "Have a good time," she says, departing.

Hans slaps Tommy. "Really? Purple pussy?! I thought James was bad…"

????

Celestia and Luna appear in their room. Luna stays huddled in a corner. Celestia slowly walks up to her. "Hey… what happened?"

"They…" Luna lets out a strangled breath. A tear slowly forms in her eye. "They…" Celestia embraces her. They stay like that for a half minute. "Sister?" Luna asks, voice less shaky.

"Hmm?" Celestia brushes a strand of her mane away.

"I love you," Luna whispers, head hanging down. "And yes, still more than a sister should," She smiles.

"I know," Celestia and Luna nuzzle each other. They hold the pose for a few seconds before being rudely interrupted.

"I'm sorry…" The diarchs turn their heads, panicked, to see a shocked Twilight behind them. "I mean… what?"

"Um…" Celestia breaks into a nervous sweat. "Well… you see…"

"We aren't actual sisters…" Luna bumps in. "It's a good facade. Someone didn't want this getting out, so…"

"We both know that they burned gays back then!"

"Yes, but what about when that was illegal?"

"I do need support," Celestia argues.

"Hol up," Twilight breathes in and out slowly. "So, you two aren't sister, but lovers?"

"Correct,"

"I…" Twilight feels her world crashing down. "Huh?!"

"Well, I may have been adopted by Celly's family, and it just… happened from there," Luna gives Celestia a kiss, causing her marefriend to blush..

Dash comes out of nowhere. "Fuck! Wrong button!" She sighs, and turns to view the rest of the room. "Hey, gu… what the fuck,"

Celestia panics. "Stay!" She casts a shield spell around Dash.

Dash rams the shield as she tries to fly away. "Hey, what the-"

"Dash!" Twilight sounds stern. "You will sit here or I will personally rip your jugular out!" Not knowing what a jugnbar is, Dash sits down. "Excellent,"

Luna sighs. "So Dash, we aren't sisters…"

"Uh… ok, I'm sorry, but I thought you said you weren't sisters," The half joke does not work.

"I did,"

Dash stares questioningly.. "Ok, but then why keep it a secret?!"

"You…" All three royalty sigh. "They used to burn gays, Dash," Twilight says.

"What? Why?!"

"It was a conservative society," Celestia adds. "I changed it as soon as I could, but it was still opposed at that point," Sighing, she releases Dash's shield. "Now, this cannot leave this room, ok?"

"Too late! All of Ponyville knows!" Pinkie catches all of the mares of guard. Coming through the window, she adds "Plus I invited them all to a party in three days! Yay!"

Luna hangs her head and cries. "Why does it have to be this way?! What did I do?!" She buries her head into Celestia's muzzle, holding back tears.

Celestia shushes the elements away, forcibly removing Pinkie. "It's because you can take it,"

"Yeah but, what if I-"

Celestia wraps her in a tight hug. "You want to cuddle? Fine with me!" She levitates them into the bed. "Lun, please don't cry. It hurts to watch you beat yourself up,"

"...Can we go to sleep please?" Luna asks hesitantly. Celestia nods and they fall asleep together, holding on to each other tight.

Author's Note

So, no incest.

It really seems odd how tolerant the diarchs are of each other in the show, so I thought 'What if they aren't sisters?' My brother... I love him, but I'd probably punch him before I hugged him. Just my thought process.