Wish Gone Awry. Enter Equestria! Enter New Life!

Casually strolling down the streets of Ponyville, Julius passed many ponies. He still got quite a few looks, but he didn't care; he had sex, candy, and a nice meal. As far as he was concerned, the ponies could stare all they wanted. Walking to the track field, Julius heard a very telltale boing sound.

"Well, somebody looks like a happy human!" Pinkie Pie sang as she bounced next to Julius.

"Oh, Pinkie," Julius said as he spared the pink pony a glance. "More or less I am," Julius smiled as he continued to walk.

"I can tell! Been playing the lyre, have you?" Pinkie asked with a giggle and a wink.

"Of course you'd know," Julius chuckled while shaking his head. "Yes, I have. Also met two new ponies."

"Derpy and Doctor," Pinkie knowingly said as she lightly sniffed him. "Great, Derpy has ruined you too," Pinkie jokingly said as she hopped next to him.

"Ruined me? How so?" Julius asked in confusion as he tried to imagine what Derpy could have done.

"You ate her muffins," Pinkie Pie sternly said. "Do you have any idea what that means?!?" Pinkie Pie energetically asked as she pulled Julius's head down to look him right in his eyes.

"That I ate the best muffins that I've ever had?" Julius said very unsurely as he freed his head from Pinkie's grip.

"Exactly!" Pinkie Pie loudly said. "Everypony knows not to eat Derpy's muffins; they're too good! Even I can't make muffins that good!" Pinkie Pie informed Julius as she bounced in front of him. "Oh, the woe and sorrow. Now you will never know the tasty joy of other muffins," Pinkie Pie exaggeratedly said as she faux fainted onto a conveniently placed fainting couch.

"Wait, I thought that you were the best baker in Ponyville?" Julius asked in surprise as he looked around for where the couch could have come from.

"I am! That's why it's so vexing that Derpy can make better muffins than me. Honestly, when most ponies first meet her, if they don't know her name and have one of her muffins, they think her name is Muffins," Pinkie Pie said as she hopped up from the couch. "Enough lamenting over lost muffins, you're looking from Rainbow Dash, right?" Pinkie Pie asked as she hopped around Julius.

"Yes, I am," Julius said as he watched Pinkie Pie hop around him. "I'm guessing that she's at the field, so that's where I'm going," Julius said as he turned his attention back to a couch, or he would have if it didn't seemingly vanish from existence. "W-were did the couch go?"

"Don't worry about that," Pinkie Pie chuckled. "As for Dashy, she isn't at the field; she's at Fluttershy's," Pinkie Pie explained as she started to hop off towards Fluttershy's cottage. "Come on, let's go! Fluttershy has some special guests!" Pinkie Pie happily said as she hopped towards Fluttershy's cottage.

"Sure, why not," Julius shrugged as he followed the peppy pink pony. "So, special guests, who are they?" Julius asked as Pinkie Pie bounced in front of him.

"Oh, they're her father! Her mother! And, ugh, her brother," Pinkie Pie said with some disgust.

"I, I noticed some disgust at the end there. Anything I should know?" Julius asked, surprised that Pinkie Pie could show that emotion.

"Well, Zephyr Breeze is, well, ugh," Pinkie Pie shuttered while bouncing forward.

"Oh, come on, he can't be that bad," Julius laughed off.

"He has a thing for Rainbow Dash, and he thinks that she is in love with him. He's also absolutely entitled. Ugh, I swear, he's so bad that he's nearly tested Dashy's patience several times!" Pinkie Pie started to explain, to nearly no avail, as Julius just sped walked towards Fluttershy's cottage while cracking his knuckles. "Uhhh, Julius? Are you OK?" Pinkie Pie asked while catching up to him.

"I'm just going to talk to him," Julius said, sounding calm while cracking his knuckles. "I'm just going to talk to him. All I'm going to do is talk to him."

"Maybe it'd be better if you didn't," Pinkie Pie nervously laughed as she bounced next to him.

"I'm going to talk to him. I'm going to talk to him. That's all I'm going to do, talk to him," Julius said through gritted teeth. After a few moments of walking, a bright, light blue lightning bolt could be seen flying from Fluttershy's cottage. "I'm just going to support Rainbow Dash; I'm just going to support Rainbow Dash. That's all I'm going to do, support Rainbow Dash," Julius said as he cracked his neck and sped up towards Fluttershy's cottage.

"OK, OK, calm down, Julius, please, this isn't needed," Pinkie Pie nervously laughed as she tried to hop in front of him. The walk continued in much the same fashion, with Julius saying that all he would do was talk to Zephyr and support Rainbow Dash while cracking different parts of his body and Pinkie Pie trying to stop him.

"OK, I can see you have some feelings about this," Julius and Pinkie Pie heard as they approached Fluttershy's cottage, "but you should know that it's mostly your fault for the way that you're sitting. But that's OK, cause I like how it's turned out. You look like one of the pegasi sky soldiers. So I guess what I'm saying is, you're welcome," the voice proudly said as Julius was nearly running to the house.

"Zephyr! For the love of Celestia, shut up!" Pinkie Pie yelled as she crawled out of a couch cushion.

"Oh, Pinkie Pie, this is unexpected," Fluttershy remarked as Pinkie Pie flicked her tail free of some lint. "What's going on?"

"Julius is coming and coming fast. I don't think he likes what he's heard," Pinkie Pie said while jittering in place.

"Oh, good!" Rainbow Dash smiled brightly. "Yeah, Zephyr, you really should shut up," Rainbow Dash said with a bright smile.

"Girls, please. I know that he's different, but Julius wouldn't start anything," Fluttershy tried to assure.

"Where is that little self-absorbed, entitled, millennial, twat," Julius's voice sounded from outside, much to Rainbow Dash's laughter.

"Oh yeah, that's the voice of someone who isn't going to do anything, I'm sure," Rainbow Dash laughed into a hoof as the door to the cottage opened.

"By the skies!" Zephyr recoiled in shock. "What is wrong with your mane? Did a disaster attack it?"

"By God! From pissed to infuriated instantaneously, you have talent!" Julius remarked as he walked towards Zephyr.

"Listen, you strange minotaur thing," Zephyr started to say. "I understand that you're mad about your mane, but even with my vision, I could not fix it," Zephyr said as he exaggerated the last few words. Breathing deeply, Julius barely noticed the mares looking at him.

"Listen," Julius growled while breathing deeply, "Bob," Julius started to say.

"Actually, my name is-" Zephyr started to say.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS, BILLY!" Julius shouted while pointing at Zephyr. "Now listen here, Jimmy-" Julius started to say.

"OK, this whole name thing-" Zephyr tried to say.

"KNOW YOUR DAMN ROLL, AND SHUT YOUR DAMNED MOUTH, TOMMY!" Julius yelled while pointing at Zephyr, while Rainbow Dash could only barely contain her laughter. "Now listen up, Timmy. I know exactly what you are!" Julius started to say in his best Rock voice. "And what you are is a cowardly, timid, beta-male that's never finished or accomplished anything in your whole life. You put on an arrogant, self-important front, while internally, you're nothing but a quivering mess," Julius started to say as Rainbow Dash held Fluttershy's mouth shut.

"T-this really isn't-" Zephyr started to say.

"MICKEY, SHUT YOUR NOISE HOLE, JABRONI!" Julius interrupted straight away. "Now listen, Jerry, every relationship you've ever had has been out of nothing but pitty or forced obligation. And it'll stay that way until you burn every bridge," Julius said as he grabbed Zephyr's muzzle to hold it shut, "and no, you will not be able to fly over the gaps you made. So unless you want to end up as a sad, pathetic, lone loser, jabroni, listen up, little Kenny! Shape up! Finish something for once in your life. Set some goals and accomplish them; I recommend as your first goal to shave your facial hair, I can grow a better beard on my dick," Julius said with authority making Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie burst out laughing. "Then, find something you like doing, and stick with it. You're metro enough; try working in a salon. Then get to work on your personality. Cause I swear if I hear you being a disrespectful little twat again, then I'll take off my boot, I'll shine it up real nice and bright, turn that son bitch sideways, and shove it right up, your candy ass!" Julius finished with a flourish as he released Zephyr's muzzle. Twirling back, Julius noticed a laughing bunny. "IF YOU SMELL~L WHAT THE MAN IS COOKING!" Julius fully finished in his best Rock impression. A few moments of stunned silence, broken only by Rainbow Dash's and Pinkie Pie's laughter, was finally fully broken.

"I'm, uhhh, I'm just going to be over here," Zephyr timidly said as he walked over to a cushion in a corner.

"I'll be right back," both Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie said while repressing their laughter.

"Fluttershy," Julius whispered, "tend to your brother; I'm going to find the other two," Julius said as he followed Rainbow Dash out. Sure, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie had a good lead on him, but they were easy enough to find. All Julius had to do was follow the sound of snickering and laughing. A few minutes later, Julius walked slightly into the tree line and saw the two mares rolling on the ground laughing. "Enjoyed that?" Julius asked while lightly laughing.

"That was the funniest dressing down I've ever heard," Rainbow Dash said.

"Yeah!" Pinkie Pie laughed. "Where did all that come from?" Pinkie Pie asked through tears of laughter.

"You can thank The Rock for that and, well, professional wrestling in general. People can say what they want about it, but some of the promos are just amazing," Julius wistfully said.

"Thank you, mister The Rock!" Pinkie Pie thanked him while waving a hoof off into the distance. "The Rock says that the ponies are welcome and that we'd like The New Day, whatever that is," Pinkie Pie told Julius.

"He sure did Pinkie Pie," Julius said as he reached a hand into Pinkie Pie's mane. "He sure did," Julius said as he pulled out three snowcones from Pinkie's mane. "Snowcones?" Julius asked as he offered a snowcone to each of the mares.

"Please," Rainbow Dash said as she grabbed a blue snowcone with her good wing.

"Thank you!" Pinkie Pie thanked as she grabbed a pink snowcone with the forward curl of her mane.

"I guess that leaves the green one for me," Julius sighed as he started to eat his snowcone, which oddly enough tasted like grapes.

"Well, there are a few others in there. But they're for Fluttershy and her family," Pinkie Pie told Julius as her tongue worked over her snowcone.

"I've meant to ask about that. Where were Fluttershy's parents? I didn't see them there," Julius asked as he enjoyed his snowcone.

"Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Shy are slow flyers. They're a lot more like Fluttershy than Zephyr is. Those two are probably still on their way, though they should be there soon," Rainbow Dash explained as she ate her snowcone. "Speaking of, where is Fluttershy? Helping her brother?"

"Yup. After basically destroying his whole life, he'll need it," Julius said as he licked away at the snowcone.

"Was that really a good idea?" Pinkie Pie asked as she energetically savored her snowcone. "I mean, it was funny and all, but sounded a bit mean."

"It was a good idea; he needed it. I mean, really, what do you think would have happened if he tried that stuff on, say, a minotaur, or a griffon, or a dragon?" Julius asked as the two mares shuttered. "Exactly. Not straightening him out would have been far meaner. Sure I basically destroyed him, but now he can be built back up, better than before. Besides, he was hitting on a mare in my herd," Julius said as he sat beside Rainbow Dash, "I don't share my mares," Julius firmly said as he massaged the back of Rainbow Dash's ears.

"Well, aren't we some lucky mares," Rainbow Dash whinnied as she nuzzled her head into Julius's hand.

"We sure are!" Pinkie Pie happily said as she laid across Julius's lap and finished her snowcone.

"Wait, I haven't gotten around to getting you yet," Julius said while licking his snowcone.

"Oh Julius, let's be honest," Pinkie Pie laughed while shaking her head. "You're going to get all of us. I mean, you already have two of us. Rarity is basically already yours. Applejack, well, remove her emotional block, and she'll fall right into your arms. Me, well, I'm resigned to it. The only one of us you have to work for now is Fluttershy," Pinkie Pie explained as she went to lick Julius's snowcone, only for her tongue to lick Julius's tongue. "Your tongue feels funny."

"Funny that, I think the same thing about yours," Julius said while smacking his lips together. "I know this will sound weird, but can you stick your tongue out?" Julius asked Pinkie Pie while rolling his tongue in his mouth.

"Oh, I see," Pinkie Pie said while smiling. "You want a Pinkie taste," Pinkie Pie slyly said. "Well, taste away!" Pinkie Pie happily said while sticking her tongue out. Gently pressing his tongue against Pinkie Pie's, Julius french kissed the pink pony. While the feeling of Pinkie Pie's tongue felt the same as other mares, it, for some reason, tasted like a sweetened lollipop. Holding Pinkie Pie with his free arm, Julius pulled her closer to him as he french kissed her.

"OK, I know Pinkie Pie's tongue is tasty and all, but shouldn't you finish your snowcone first?" Rainbow Dash asked as she ate down her snowcone. Pulling away from Pinkie Pie's mouth, Julius looked at Rainbow Dash.

"Wait, how do you know how she tastes?" Julius asked as he still tasted Pinkie Pie on his lips.

"Well, how do you think Dashy and I dealt with our heats? Well, besides the anti-heat potions," Pinkie Pie asked as she giggled.

"Wait, you and Rainbow Dash were-" Julius started to say.

"Yes," Rainbow Dash said while rolling her eyes. "For some reason, Pinkie Pie and I have intense heats; some days are worse than others. So Pinkie Pie and I would help each other out. It's a lot easier than finding a stallion," Rainbow Dash explained before finishing her snowcone.

"Wait, why didn't you just share Big Mac or get stronger anti-heat potions?" Julius asked as he resumed eating his snowcone.

"Big Mac likes to devote his attention to one mare at a time," Pinkie Pie told Julius.

"Yeah, besides, he couldn't beat me in a race. As for stronger anti-heat potions, well, they exist, but they can mess with your heat schedule. Trust me, getting off your heat schedule sucks," Rainbow Dash explained as she looked at Pinkie Pie. "Saying that it has been a while," Rainbow Dash said while trailing off.

"Say no more, Dashy!" Pinkie Pie happily said as she french kissed Rainbow Dash.

"Heh, hot," Julius smirked as he watched the two mares make out. Enjoying both his snowcone and the sight of the mares making out, Julius laid back to relax. Savoring the taste of his grape snowcone and the sight and sound of the mares making out, Julius looked up at the sky and sighed. "Well, as much as I'd enjoy plowing the both of you here, I think we should be going," Julius said as he saw three figures in the sky near Fluttershy's cottage. "I think Fluttershy's parents are there. And it looks like somecreature else is with them," Julius said while squinting at the sky.

"Luna, it's Luna," Pinkie Pie said as she broke the kiss with Rainbow Dash.

"Wait, you said you had a snowcone for all of Fluttershy's family; what about Luna?" Julius asked as the three distant figures landed.

"Oh, I have some gelato for her. A swirl of Fior Di Latte and Sweet Wine Raisin," Pinkie Pie explained to Julius.

"Really? Damn, that sounds good!" Julius remarked as he licked his lips.

"Yeah, no kidding! Pinkie Pie, next time think you could bring some for us too?" Rainbow Dash asked as she too licked her lips.

"If you really want some, I should have more than enough in my mane," Pinkie Pie explained as she started to hop towards the cottage. "We can find out after we get back to the cottage!" Pinkie Pie happily said as she continued to hop towards Fluttershy's cottage.

"Well, better follow her," Julius shrugged as he finished his snowcone.

"Ugh, I suppose," Rainbow Dash sighed. "Still not looking forward to dealing with Zephyr, though. Rainbow Dash sighed as she helped Julius up.

"Don't worry about him. Worst to worst, I'll be there. Besides, Luna will also be there. There's no way he'd be a fool with Luna right there," Julius laughed as a dark blue light shone from Fluttershy's cottage. "Oh dear God. I have become error. Let's hurry," Julius quickly said as he and Rainbow Dash ran off towards Fluttershy's cottage, following closely in Pinkie Pie's hops.