That Time I conquered Equestria... As A Colt

If one would have told James that he would have fun going to school again, he would have just laughed at the one to propose such stupidity. After all, school was the most boring activity he had ever come across. Not because he was ignorant of the importance of knowledge, mind you, but because he picked up on things way faster than normal people, so he only needed one or two periods for something others needed multiple weeks to master. As such, he was constantly bored in school, which caused him to sleep through most of the lessons and still finish school with a B in everything except P.E. and arts.

Not this time, however. The first lesson he got into was about the strengths of the different species and how they harmonized together. His interest was hardly a surprise, given that he only knew what the show and the fandom told him.

After the basics were through, the class was split up into three groups, one for every race, and they got special training for their race-specific abilities. Namely flying for the Pegasi, magic for the Unicorns and a mix of P.E. and craftsponyship for the Earthponies.

Frozen Blood was really glad for these lessons. After all, he didn’t know how to use his magic and he would’ve had to ask somepony who knew. This would’ve likely been Twilight, which would’ve brought the benefit of him earning her trust, sure, but he doubted that even he could go through one of Twilight’s lectures without dozing off.

That being said, he was almost a bit underwhelmed when he was told that using magic for a unicorn really only boils down to concentrating on an object and imagining what you want to happen to it. At least in the case of the more simple spells. For more advanced magic, you apparently needed to concentrate not only on your target, but also move your magic in specific patterns through your body to get the desired effect. Something that even a fast learner such as Frozen Blood couldn’t just do on the first try.

Still, all in all, he found re-attending school most enjoyable. At least until the second period rolled around.

Frozen Blood loved maths. He really did. After all, when he was still James, he was studying mathematics. It had always fascinated him how something as simple as numbers could be used to describe the most complex of processes in the universe and he was certain that even his little dimensional travel could somehow be explained mathematically.

That being said, this didn’t mean that he couldn’t grow bored with it, as especially the more repetitive side of mathematics had him sleep through one or another lesson back in school. As such, it likely is no wonder that he had difficulties paying attention in Cheerilee’s class. On multiple occasions, his eyes momentarily fluttered shut while she was writing some new equations onto the blackboard, which Frozen Blood could easily solve without even looking at them. The only thing that kept him from dozing off completely was the incarnation of ‘annoying’ that was sitting to his right.

Right at the moment when Cheerilee first turned her back, Frozen had felt something scratch through his fur and when he turned to look, he saw Diamond Tiara scribble on his flank with her pencil. Not that whatever she drew would be visible that much, given that his coat was already grey to begin with. However, solely the fact that she actually dared to touch his behind was enough for him to finally and definitely decide that he didn’t like her.

Not that he liked her to begin with, but after this, there was definitely no chance of redemption for her.

“Frozen Blood, are you paying attention?” Cheerilee asked suddenly, drawing Frozen’s attention again, after his eyes were already drifting shut once more.

“Euh, yes, I am, Miss Cheerilee!” He answered, though Cheerilee seemed not convinced.

“Oh really? Then you can certainly tell me the answer to the first equation.” She stated, pointing her hoof at an equation that seemingly had most of the other foals by their tails. Frozen, however, didn’t even miss a beat with his answer.

“58+32 equals 90, Miss Cheerilee.” He said, already drifting back to sleep.

“Hmm… alright, I’ll let that pass for now. Still, try to pay more attention in class!” Cheerilee ordered, to which Frozen Blood only gave a half-hearted “Yes, Miss Cheerilee”.

Finally, the bell rang and all the foals jumped up from their seats, quickly packing everything together, hoping to be faster than Cheerilee could utter those accursed words:

“Wait, I still got homework for you!”

Everypony in the room groaned when she said that, but collected their respective worksheets anyways. However, when frozen came to pick up his, Cheerilee pulled him aside.

“I actually have some more questions for you, Frozen Blood. Firstly: who and where are your parents? After all, even if you weren’t missing from my class, there’s certainly somepony who should be watching over you, isn’t there?” She asked, making Frozen Blood’s mind start to race, trying to make up a good answer, which he wouldn’t need to adapt later on.

“Euh, well, you see… I’m actually… kind of a wandering orphan.” He said, earning him a series of gasps from Cheerilee and most of the foals present.

“Oh, you poor little colt, I didn’t know that. Well, in that case, I will immediately contact the closest Orphanage to try and get a place to live for you.” Cheerilee offered, making Frozen Blood go wide-eyed.

“Eh, I don’t think that’s necessary, Miss Cheerilee. I’m pretty good on my own.” He told her, but she wouldn’t have it.

“Oh no, young colt. Foals need somepony to care for them and I won’t allow you to be an exception!” She stated firmly. “Though, speaking of that, it will likely take a few days until I get a reply and I’m afraid I don’t have enough room to take in another foal.”

Wait, another? Huh, I didn’t know that Cheerilee had any.

“Oh, that’s quite alright. I can get by on my ow-“

“Oooh, Oooh, Ah can ask mah sis if he can stay with us!” Applebloom suddenly chimed in from behind him.

“Really? Oh, that would be great if you could do that.” Cheerilee thanked.

“Uh, yeah, that would be very nice of you.” Frozen Blood said as well, as he turned around and looked down at the yellow filly.

Wait… I’m taller than her? Oh no, this can’t mean… I’m older than them and I’m still a blank flank? Oh bollocks…

“Siiiiiiiis!” Applebloom shouted as she and Frozen Blood entered into the farm.

“What’s it, Applebloom? Did y’all make tha lake explode again?” Applejack asked from the kitchen, before she and Big Mac came into the hallway to greet the young filly. However, both their gazes immediately shifted over to Frozen Blood when they laid eyes on him.

“Oh, y’all have brought a friend from school?” She asked, scanning him from top to bottom as if she was assessing him with a critical gaze.

“Yeah! He’s an orphan and Cheerilee is tryna get a home fer him and ah wanted t’ask if he ken stay with us until then.” Applebloom told her sister.

“Well…” Applejack started after pondering a moment. “We do ‘ave that old guest room… I’d say he can if Big Mac ‘n granny agree.”

Big Mac nodded his agreement beside her, making the young filly squee and rush off into the kitchen to get the, hopefully, third agreement from Granny Smith. As soon as she was gone Frozen Blood suddenly found himself under the combined gazes of Applejack and Big Mac, who, from their perspective, were looking at their sister’s potential first coltfriend.

“As for you, young colt… what’s yer name anyways?” Applejack asked, but before Frozen Blood could answer, Applebloom called back from the kitchen.

“Oh, his name is Frozen Blood!”

Immediately, both adults went wide-eyed, looking at the colt in a rather disturbed manner.

“That’s… quite tha name, ain’t it, Big Mac?” Applejack said, looking over to her brother, who just nodded slowly.

“Eeeeyup.”

“Yeah, really makes your blood freeze, doesn’t it?” Frozen Blood joked, to which Applejack only laughed uncomfortably.

“Ehehehe, yeah… it does.” She quickly shook her head free again after that and proceeded to look at him more firmly. “But still: that there filly is our sister an’ if ya dare ta try anythin’ funny on her, then ya’ll get ta know how much we apples hold tagether.” She threatened, eliciting another reply from Big Mac.

“Eeeeyup.”

“Uh… what? What would bring you to draw that conclusion so quickly?” Frozen Blood asked confusedly.

“Well, that there Cutie Mark of yers ain’t leavin any room fer imagination.” Applejack answered.

Frozen Blood immediately looked back to his left flank, but found it empty. He checked his right as well and there he found what Applejack meant. Honestly, when he saw what Diamond Tiara had actually drawn there, he was wondering how she even knew what colts looked down there in such detail…

“Oh… yeah, that’s not my Cutie Mark, that’s just a bad joke… anyways: You need not worry, I have no such intention at the moment. And even if I had, I doubt that Applebloom is old enough to even have any romantic interest in colts… or other ponies in general.” Frozen Blood stated.

“Yeah, ah know, but still…” Applejack relented. “Ah don’t wanna see her come home crying ‘cause some colt broke ‘er heart, so be careful ‘round her, ya hear?”

“Alright, will do.” Frozen Blood agreed, just before Applebloom came speeding back again.

“Granny said yes too! Come on, Ah’ve gotta show ya where yer room is b’fore we can go crusadin’ with the others!” She said excitedly, pulling Frozen Blood upstairs to where his new room would be.

Said room was actually not half bad. There was a bed, a small nightstand, as well as a wardrobe, a chair and a small table. It reminded him a bit of his dorm room, with only his Laptop being amiss.

He didn’t have much time to assess his new home, though, before Applebloom looked at the clock and noticed that they were almost late for the CMC meeting, quickly dragging Frozen Blood along as she sped off towards the Clubhouse.

“Alright, are you ready to swear the oath?” Scootaloo asked, as she stood in front of Frozen Blood with the other two CMCs flanking her.

“Heh, I was born ready.” Frozen Blood remarked.

“That’s what I wanted to hear. Now speak after me: I swear-“

“I swear-”

“To never stop searching for my Cutie Mark-“

“To never stop searching for my Cutie Mark-“

“And to never give up-“

“And to never give up-“

“And to never leave my fellow Crusaders hanging.”

“And to never leave my fellow Crusaders hanging.”

“Woohoo” Both, Applebloom and Scootaloo cheered.

“Uh… wasn’t the oath we agreed on a bit different?” Sweetiebelle asked.

“I dunno. I forgot the old one and just made one up on the fly.” Scootaloo said dismissively.

“Doesn’t really matter anyways. We got a new Crusader with us now!” Applebloom cheered.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Sweetie said. “Though… I’m sorry but we don’t have a cape for you yet. I’ll make one as soon as Rarity lets me get close to her sewing machine again, though.”

“Oh, that’s quite alright. It’s not that the cape has any effect on me wanting to find my Cutie Mark anyways.” Frozen said, to which all three Crusaders nodded.

However, Scootaloo suddenly seemed to be pondering something, which immediately came to Applebloom’s attention.

“Hey Scoots, what’cha all thinkin’ about?”

“Uh, you know… It’s just that I think it feels kinda weird to say his name. I mean, really, ‘Frozen Blood’ has a really weird sound to it. I think we need a nickname for him.” Scootaloo said, already trying to come up with one.

“What? Already thinking about nicknames? Don’t you think that’s a bit fas-“ Frozen Blood pointed out, though he was cut off by Applebloom.

“A Nickname? Huh… how about ‘Bloody’?” She said, earning her a cringe from the other three foals in the clubhouse.

“No, definitely not.” Said Frozen Blood and Scootaloo agreed.

“Yeah, that one sounds a bit too… bloody.”

“Then what about ‘Frosty’?” Sweetie suggested.

“Okay, that one sounds just ridic-“ Frozen wanted to complain, but he was cut off by a not-listening Applebloom again.

“Frosty sounds good, ah take it!”

“Great, I like it too!” Scootaloo agreed.

“NEW CUTIE MARK CRUSADER FROSTY, YAY!” All three then shouted together.

“Heh, yeah… great…” He said unenthusiastically.

Oh bollocks… ‘Frosty’ thought.