That Time I conquered Equestria... As A Colt

Monday rolled around again and so did another day of school. Another day spent sitting around in a class that couldn’t teach him anything anymore, another day spent being annoyed by Diamond Tiara in the breaks and another day spent absolutely baffling Cheerilee with acing a surprise test without having ever paid attention. Of course, that wasn’t really that much of a surprise, given his actual age, but Cheerilee didn’t know that.

When they left the school building that day, Frosty already had the CMC walking by his sides and since he didn’t plan on going to the Everfree that day anyways, he didn’t do anything about it. After all, part of his plan was to keep a good relation to them, wasn’t it?

Still, he needed to know, what exactly his touch did to ponies. He had already ‘tested’ it on the CMC, but they were too small of a testing group – both, in group and body size. Thus, he went into town square, where there would be plenty of ponies about and where he could certainly snatch a background pony or two without anyone noticing. He only needed a place to ‘store’ his test dummies… and he needed to somehow do that without the CMC noticing. In hindsight it probably wasn’t that much of a good idea to let them come along, but getting rid of them now would likely only cause them to ‘sneak’ along, so he had to either wait for a better opportunity or just postpone his tests.

“Come one, Come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the GRRRRREAT and POWERFUL TRRRIXIE!”

Frosty stopped in his tracks, as he heard the shouting come from the town square. He looked over and spotted a familiar-looking stage cart.

“Alright, there go my last expectations regarding causality… but shouldn’t there be at least a few weeks between Trixie and Zecora?” Frosty mumbled to himself.

“What was that, Frosty?” Scootaloo asked from beside him.

“I said: There’s a travelling magician. Let’s go have a look!”

The CMC looked over to where Frosty was pointing, before they shared a glance and a smile.

“Sure. Sounds like fun.” Applebloom agreed.

They arrived at the stage just when Trixie was performing a few stage tricks. They slipped through the crowd and went to the very front row, where Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Twilight and Spike were already standing.

“Hey sis!” Applebloom greeted, making the five older mares turn around.

“Heya Applebloom. So school’s over already? Huh.” She asked.

‘Obviously, yes. Twilight was brought here by Snips and Snails after all.’ Frosty thought to himself.

“Yep! We were followin’ Frosty around for… somethin’ and then he saw the cart, so we came ‘ere ta check it out.” The excited filly babbled.

“Oh, you wanna see that there magic show? Heh, well, ya can, but don’t take all that ‘great ‘n powerful’ too seriously.”

“Don’t worry sis! Ah know nopony can beat you!”

“If you find the GRRREAT and POWERFUL TRRRIXIE’s show really that boring then you can always go somewhere else, you know?” Trixie suddenly interrupted from behind them.

The group turned back around, to where a very annoyed-looking showmare was looking down at them.

“Pfff, yeah, ‘great and powerful’. What makes you more powerful than us, huh?” Rainbow asked, hovering before her and getting into her face.

“Well that is obvious, for only Trrrixie has the magic needed to vanquish the dreaded Ursa Major!”

The crowd responded with a collective ‘Ooh’, while Rainbow just huffed in disbelief.

“Pff, yeah sure ya did.” Applejack dismissed.

Trixie looked on in annoyance. “Well, I see there are still voices of doubt. Very well, I challenge you to come up here and out-perform me, the GREAT and POWERFUL TRRRRIXIE!”

She looked over the crowd and waited for a moment, but nopony seemed to-

“Come on, sis! Git up there an’ show her!” Applebloom encouraged her sister.

“Ya bet ah will!”

Applejack jumped up onto the stage and performed a few lasso tricks. She spun it over her head, jumped through it, danced while spinning it around her and concluded with throwing it into an apple tree, catching an apple and pulling it directly into her mouth, where she gulped it down in one bite.

Frosty looked over to Applebloom. “Hey, Applebloom, does your sister have a coltfriend?”

“Eh, no… why yer askin’?”

“Because, for a single mare, she can open her jaws pretty wide.”

Immediately, Frosty found himself fixed by death-glares from every mare that could hear him, as well as three confused stares by the CMC.

“Ah, what a meagre show. Let TRRRIXIE show you, how it’s done.”

Trixie levitated one end of the lasso up, letting it sway side to side like a snake and captivating Applejack with its movements. Meanwhile she levitated the other end over to the apple tree and grabbed another apple, which she then levitated over Applejack’s head. Then, in the blink of an eye, she hogtied Applejack with her own lasso and stuffed the apple into her mouth.

The crowd laughed, while Applejack grumbled her way off the stage and the next challenger flew up.

“Heh, betcha can’t keep up with the awesome Rainbow Dash!” The Pegasus boasted, before zooming off into the sky, flying through two clouds and leaving holes in them, while condensing the vapour into water droplets mid-flight. She then turned back around, flying through the same holes she had left in them, dragging the water she had condensed earlier with her. She flew into the local windmill, spinning its wheel and catapulting herself back onto the stage, where she spread her wings wide and let the water droplets splash against them from behind, the fine vapour causing a rainbow to form above her.

“They don’t call me Rainbow Dash for no reason, you know?” She said smugly.

“You’re awesome, Dash!” Scootaloo cheered with the crowd, but Trixie seemed unimpressed.

“Pff, yeah, veeeeery impressive there, but still no match for Trrrixie. So, why don’t you just take your Rainbow and Dash off?”

She took the rainbow in her magic and wrapped it around Dash, before spinning her like a mini-tornado, leaving her sprawled on the ground a few meters away.

“Oh, so brash! Oh that just won’t do.” Rarity said as she went onto the stage next. “You don’t need to outperform her, darlings, when it is so much easier to just out-charme her!”

She ripped one of Trixie’s curtains from her stage and bound it around herself like a toga, while simultaneously giving herself a fitting manestyle.

“Hey! What are you doing with Trixie’s curtains?!” the showmare protested.

“Oh darling, don’t cry over such a cheap accessory. Really, such a good piece of cloth would be wasted just hanging around all day.”

Trixie grumbled, but calmed herself – at least to the outside. “Oh sure, come, let Trixie help you with your redesign.”

She took Rarity’s mane into her magic grasp, before, with a flash, she worked her magic.

“Oh, thank you, darling. Now, how do I look?” Rarity asked into the crowd.

Meanwhile, her friends stood there, flabbergasted.

“It’s, uh, gorgeous!” Twilight said sheepishly.

“Yeah, uh, looks amazing, Rares!” Rainbow agreed. “Like a – euh – like a lady at the gala!”

“Or a birch tree.” Frosty commented, earning him another round of death-glares.

“Birch tree?” Rarity asked, loosening a lock of hair and holding it before her face. She suddenly went even paler than she was anyways, letting out a terrified scream, before pulling a forehoof to her head and fainting.

“So, anypony else, who wants to challenge the GREAT and –“

“Dear Lord, we get it! No need to repeat that part over and over again!” Frosty shouted.

“Hmpf, fine, be that way.” Trixie huffed.

“Come on, Twilight! You can easily beat her!” Spike encouraged, but Twilight didn’t seem to share his enthusiasm.

“Oh, I don’t know, Spike. Didn’t you see, how those ponies reacted to her boasting? What will they do if they see me do the same?”

“Oh, come on, Twilight! That’s two completely different things!”

“I don’t know, Spike… I just… don’t feel comfortable doing it.”

“Oh, come on, you just need to try! Hey everypony, Twilight wants to—“

Twilight quickly clamped Spike’s mouth shut, but not fast enough to prevent gaining Trixie’s attention.

“So, you want to challenge Trixie?” She asked down at her.

“W-What, me? Heh, no euh, I-I think I hear my laundry going, bye!” Twilights stammered, before she quickly fled the scene.

“Thought so. It appears it has yet again been proven that Trrrixie is the most powerful Unicorn in Equestria.” Trixie claimed, before she retreated into her wagon and the crowd dispersed itself, leaving only Frosty and the CMC behind.

“So… what do we do now?” Scootaloo asked.

“Ah… I’m sorry, girls, but I have to help my sister get back to her hooves.” Sweetie said, pointing to her sister, who still lay fainted on the stage.

“In that case, I will also take my leave. I wanted to visit the library anyways, so this seems just like the time to do so.” Frosty said, before departing as well.

“But really, did she have to boast like that? I mean, she isn’t even really that special!” Spike complained, as he and Frosty walked through the streets later that evening. Frosty had spent the remainder of the day researching different spells and other applications for his magic, in case his necromancy ever failed him.

“Maybe not, but have you ever considered that her boasting might be part of the job?” Frosty pointed out.

“Why would boasting be part of the job?” Spike asked sceptically.

“Because she doesn’t need her audience to like her, she only needs to get their attention. When she boasts around like that, she achieves just that. To her, it doesn’t matter if you believe her and want to see for yourself or if you just want to see her fail. You want to see, that’s all she needs. If she can actually impress you with her show is another thing entirely. Primarily, she only needs to grab your attention.”

“Wait, does that mean that, even if Twilight went up there and kicked her butt, she still would’ve gained something from it?”

“Yep.” Frosty confirmed, to which Spike groaned to himself.

“Oh, ponyfeathers. Good thing she didn’t do it then.”

Their conversation didn’t go any further, as suddenly, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle came running towards them, screaming for their lives.

“Frosty, save us!!!” Sweetie screamed, before hiding behind him.

“Who, what, how?” Frosty was confused. Neither did he see them coming, nor did he know, what they were suddenly afraid of. That is, until he was suddenly remembered, how that episode ended in the show.

*ROAR*

A thundering roar echoed through the town, as from the end of the street, one could see a light blue mare and two unicorn colts being chased down the road by an enormous bear-like ethereal entity.

“Hide!” Frosty commanded, dragging the two fillies and one baby dragon with him into an alleyway, just before the beast and its prey sped past them.

“Oh no… did these two idiots really…? Oh no, they woke up an Ursa Major! What are we gonna do?!” Spike panicked, but before he could grow too distressed, Frosty plastered a hoof over his mouth and hushed him. He snuck a peek at the beast around the corner and whispered back to the group.

“Luckily not, it’s just a minor.”

“THAT was just a MINOR?!” Spike whisper-shouted in disbelief.

“Yeah. We should probably do something about it. Spike, think you can sneak around it and get Miss Twilight?” Of course, Frosty knew that, in theory, he would just need to go there, place himself in front of them and wait for the Ursa to pick up the scent and flee. However, that would also mean exposing himself to everypony that was present, which was a risk he wasn’t yet ready to take.

Spike looked around the corner at the beast, which by now had its prey cornered against the end of the street. He gulped and looked back at Frosty, who gave him a reassuring nod.

“A-Alright, I’ll try.” Spike said. He looked around the corner one last time, making sure that the beast was currently occupied. When he was sure that the Ursa wouldn’t spot him, he sprinted across the street and quickly vanished behind the buildings, before the Ursa could notice.

“So, that leaves only the waiting game for us.” Frosty said, only now noticing that Sweetie had been pressing herself against him this entire time.

“Hey, Sweetie, we’re safe now. No need to stick so close to me anymore.” He told her.

Sweetie only now noticed what she had been doing this entire time and quickly pulled back, her face flushing deep red.

“So, how’s it lookin’ over there?” Scootaloo asked, pointing down the street. “Did they get eaten yet?”

“No, but they’re about to…” Frosty answered, nervously checking for Spike, but coming up empty.

“We can’t let them get eaten! We have to do something!” Sweetie Belle protested.

“And what would that be? I don’t know what you have in mind, but I don’t know what we could do.” Scootaloo told her.

Sweetie looked nervously to the ground. She had hoped that the others would have an idea. “Please! Frosty, do you have an idea?”

“…I might know a way, but…” Frosty murmured.

“Then why don’t you do something?!”

Frosty stood there silent, contemplating. He, of course, didn’t want to be discovered just yet, but at the same time, it would be almost as disadvantageous to him if he would lose the trust of even just one of the CMC.

‘Uuuuugh, fuck it, I can come up with some kind of excuse… hopefully.’

“Agh, alright, but you have to promise that you don’t ask any question afterwards, okay?” Frosty demanded.

Sweetie froze for a moment. Why would he not want her to ask questions afterwards? But she was quickly shaken out of her stupor by another roar of the beast.

“Okay, we promise! Right, Scootaloo?”

“Euh, yeah, yeah, promise!” Scootaloo confirmed.

“Good.” Frosty ran off, sprinting towards the Ursa just as it raised its paw to stomp those who disturbed its slumber. He dashed through beneath the beast, placed himself directly in front of it and shouted: “Hey you giant teddy! I’m down here!”

The Ursa spotted Frosty and, upon doing so, set down its paw and roared directly into his face. However, when it brought its snout closer to him, it immediately picked up his scent, as well as the scent of death that surrounded him.

Its eyes went wide and its pupils shrank to pinpricks, as it stared down at, what accounted to a monster in its perspective.

“Boo.” Frosty said and as an immediate reaction, the Ursa turned around and fled down the street with a terrified whimper.

Frosty turned around to Trixie, Snips and Snails and looked them over. They seemed to be unharmed, albeit very terrified.

“Frosty! You did it!” Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle cheered from behind him as they came galloping towards him. “You actually vanquished an Ursa Minor!”

“Yeah… H-How did you do that?” Trixie asked in astonishment.

“That’s what I was going to ask.” Suddenly a voice said from beside him. Frosty spun around and saw that Twilight had finally arrived… just in time to see him blow his cover… great.

“Spike came to me completely out of breath, saying something about an Ursa in town and when I came here to see for myself, I see said Ursa miserably whimpering and fleeing. What in Celestia’s name happened here?”

“Yeah, well…” Frosty started. He quickly had to come up with an excuse for this whole mess! “Umm, do you remember, when we read up on Ursas together? It said there that they are afraid of the scent of death…”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah and I… kiiiinda go to the graveyard every now and then, so I probably reek of death like a corpse?”

‘Alright, that was an outright lie, but at least neither Applebloom, nor Applejack are here to disprove it.’

“Uhuh. And why do you do that?” Twilight asked curiously.

‘Damn, I didn’t think she would ask! Ugh, maybe I can evade?’

“I… I would like to keep that one for myself. It’s… very personal.” Frosty said, hoping to convince her to drop it.

“Oh… Oh, I’m – I’m sorry. I just… thought it might be something cultural.“ Twilight said, turning away in slight embarrassment. “Anyways, you should probably go home now. It’s pretty late already, not to mention that your sisters will be worried.” She spun around and pointed towards the two colts who were trying to sneak away. “And you two have a lot of trouble on you now, you know?”

“Euuh, yeah, I think it’s time to leave.” Frosty said, as Snips and Snails got themselves a fresh helping of a Twilight brand lecture.

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo nodded in agreement and followed his example, as he made his way back home.