Dungeons and Dicks
One Last Riddle
Previous ChapterNext Chapter“So uh, who is going to do the talking?” Asked Button Mash nervously, the cleric clutching his staff tight against his chest.
Babs Seed shifted uncomfortably, her armor jingling whenever she moved. “I ain't exactly the best when it comes to such… delicate topics,” admitted the mare.
“Don't look at me,” Scorch quickly added, raising his arms. “I hardly spoke to a single pony before you lot showed up on my doorstep.”
Flurry Heart sighed, pushing back her hood to reveal her irritated expression. “Fine, I’ll talk to her about our recent discoveries. Just back me up okay? Zecora gets like, really intense whenever we bring up changelings.”
“Do you think she has some sort of history with them?” Button Mash inquired.
“Seems like it,” remarked Babs Seed with a shrug. “Whenever I tried talking about them she’d get real angry but did her best to hide what she was feeling.”
“Maybe she's fought them before,” offered Scorch.
“I’m not so sure, but regardless. We’ll have to have a frank discussion with her about all of this,” Flurry Heart concluded.
Button Mash nodded, and motioned towards the shack sitting on the other side of a small clearing. “We’ll be right behind you Flurry Heart.”
The now undisguised alicorn took a slow breath and nodded. “Alright. Let's get to the bottom of this mess.”
Together the four friends walked over to the small shack with Flurry Heart taking the lead, and Scorch taking up the rear. Raising a hoof, the necromancer tapped her hoof twice upon the door, before taking a step back and waiting patiently for a response. Some cursing could be heard from within, followed by a series of crashes, and then finally the entrance opened to reveal an irritated Zecora.
Whose expression shifted to one of optimism the second that she laid eyes on the group. “Ahh if it isn't the adventuring troupe. Did you find our dastardly changeling group?”
“We… did,” Flurry Heart murmured after a short pause.
The zebra raised an eyebrow. “And what did you all find out?”
The group stood silently, with most avoiding the zebra’s gaze.
“Try not to shout,” Zecora added playfully.
“Sorry, it's just well…” Flurry Heart gulped. “I’ll get right to it. I don't think these changelings are bad.”
“And what brought on such a dramatic swing? You remember what I said about the changeling,” Zecora pressed.
“We do. It's just... they were all really nice people,” Flurry Heart continued. “One was a clown performing for sick children, another went around doing free labor for old people. A third worked at an orphanage and didn't even accept money while the last two trained the local militia for free or gave out food to homeless meat eaters.”
“They didn't exactly seem like the scheming types,” Button Mash added.
“Which has left us in a weird spot,” remarked Babs Seed awkwardly.
“I don't think I could fight those guys in good conscience ya know?” exclaimed Scorch.
Zecora stared at the four creatures for several long seconds before erupting with laughter and nearly doubling over.
“What's so funny?” Demanded the dragon.
“Yeah, did I miss something?” Added Babs Seed, scratching her head.
Zecora shook her head slowly. “Giving children candy is their modus operandi.”
“I’m confused,” stated Flurry Heart.
“Don’t be, young child. It has been a while since I’ve smiled,” Zecora began, taking a step back into the shack and motioning for the rest of the adventuring group to join her inside. “These changelings I speak of so highly are both evil and incredibly wily.”
The four adventurers walked inside, each one finding a comfortable spot and watching as Zecora shifted into her story teller mode.
All save for Flurry Heart who remained standing. “But Button Mash used his emotion vision on two of them and they seemed to give some love back and only took what was directed at them.”
“It's true!” Exclaimed Button Mash.
“Building trust is an absolute must. With that part all but secure their plan could continue for sure,” Zecora exclaimed, waving a dismissive hoof in the air. “The evil of a changeling is without end. This you should remember my friend.”
Scorch scratched his head with a clawed finger. “So these evil bugs just go around doing good deeds for people and that is bad… why?”
“Because you saw them before their evil truly began. Tell me, do you think that is the end of their plan?” Zecora prompted, looking from each of the other creatures in turn.
“I mean, maybe?” Babs Seed exclaimed. “I don't know much about changelings though.”
“No changeling is a saint, their presence here is a taint,” Zecora stated confidently.
“But why though? What would they even plan on doing, and how do you know all of this anyway?” Flurry Heart questioned. “Because I’m not the only one who is starting to get a little suspicious of why you know so much about them when not even I do.”
“Your parents' wedding was terrible, but compared to what the changelings have planned it is bearable,” Zecora replied with a hint of sadness. “As for why they should be all in jail, that unfortunately is quite a long tale.”
“We got the time, right guys?” Flurry Heart offered, glancing around the room.
“Yeah. If you’re willing to tell the story then I’m more than willing to listen,” Button Mash encouraged.
Scorch flopped down on the bed. “If I fall asleep just keep going cus I don't care one way or the other.”
Babs Seed leaned her poleax against the wall and sat down on the floor. “I for one am interested to hear how you came in contact with them and lived to tell about it.”
Zecora smiled faintly, the zebra gazing wistfully out the window. “This is not a story you would know. For you see it happened long, long ago. When I was young and foolish-”
Button Mash sniffed, and wiped his cheek free of the tears which stained them. “That was the saddest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life.”
Babs Seed blew her nose on a section of the cleric’s robes. “I can't believe they took your entire family like that. Who would do something so incredibly cruel?”
“Even among monsters they are the worst. Truly, they have a most terrible thirst,” Zecora remarked sagely.
“And to think that after all that you only just barely escaped with your life. How do you even go on after everything that happened?” Flurry Heart inquired, the alicorn patting her eyes with her hood.
“It is a heavy burden I must bear. One that I am sorry to share,” Zecora replied with a solemn sigh.
Scorch leapt off the bed and grabbed Zecora by the shoulders. “Where are they? Where are these monsters who would kill a sweet innocent puppy?”
The zebra blinked. “I do not know where. But we must find their lair.”
Flurry Heart placed a calming hoof on the dragon’s shoulders. “Relax big guy. I promise we’ll find them.”
Scorch sniffed, and placed the zebra back on the ground. “And when we do I’ll carve Rex into each one of their chests so none forget the name of the goodest boy!”
The alicorn awkwardly patted the dragon on the back as he sobbed uncontrollably. “There there, let it all out,” she encouraged.
Babs Seed grabbed her poleaxe and threw it on her back. “Right then. I think I speak for everyone here when I say that we are one hundred percent in.”
“Absolutely!” Button Mash exclaimed, trotting up behind the mare and retrieving his staff.
“This may be but the start but it warms my cold heart,” Zecora replied, placing a hoof over her chest and bowing slightly.
“Lets go get these jerks!” Scorch shouted before kicking down the door and charging into the woods.
“Someone is quite ready, though I don't think he's very steady,” Zecora remarked.
“I’ll make sure he doesn't run off by himself and get lost,” Flurry Heart offered, the alicorn trotting out the door.
Button Mash nodded. “Don't worry about us. We’ll gather our things and meet you on the other side of the clearing.”
“Speaking of which, do you need very much? I could help carry anything you may need.” Babs Seed asked, turning to the zebra.
Who shook her head. “I just need my mask and that green cask.”
“In that case we’ll get moving right away,” Button Mash exclaimed, the cleric following his friends out the door.
Leaving Zecora alone to gather her things, and gaze within the cold black eyes of her bird beaked mask. “Soon I’ll get the revenge I was denied. Then I will show them who lied.”
“This has to be the place,” Button Mash whispered while he peeked out of the bush he was using as cover. “It's the only house that's recently come up for rent that isn't in the middle of town.”
“You guys have a real problem with affordable housing. Why do you think that is?” Flurry Heart lamented absently.
“That is a good question to ask, but we must stay on task,” Zecora whispered, the zebra now wearing a cloak, her long beaked mask, and a bandolere filled with several dark potions.
“Well it looks like they are all there,” Scorch whispered from behind a tree. “A whole bunch of them went into the house not long ago and they didn't even seem to be worried about their missing member.”
“What did you do with them anyway?” Babs Seed asked, turning to the zebra.
Who waved a dismissive hoof. “They did not die, if that is what you meant to imply. They are simply out like a light, and will stay that way until night.”
“Which means we should hurry,” murmured Button Mash who looked up at the twilight sky and the orange clouds which hung overhead.
“Wait, why does she get a mask and the rest of us don't?” Whispered Scorch.
“If you hadn't run off you would have heard her explanation,” hissed Babs Seed.
“It only affects changelings, but after prolonged exposure it grows irritating to non changelings,” Flurry Heart added.
Scorch cocked his head only to shrug, “Whatever. Are we doing this or what?”
Babs Seed carefully unslung her pole axe and gripped it tightly. “Ready.”
Button Mash nodded, his staff tucked securely under his foreleg. “Me too.”
“As am I,” added Flurry Heart, her horn glowing faintly.
“Remember to wait for my potion before you all explode into motion,” Zecora cautioned.
“We remember,” assured Button Mash.
Zecora gave the four friends one last look before nodding, and turning back towards the small cottage that sat at the end of a long dirt path. Though it had a second story as well as a basement, there werent many windows and it was clear that even with those additions it wasn’t the biggest. The yard was also rather unkempt, and the dozen or so mature trees that littered the area granted the adventurers plenty of cover for their advance.
Which Zecora used to full affect, ducking from one to the other as she made her way ever closer to the old home. The stealthy zebra was so quick, and so adept at remaining quiet that even her companions struggled to follow behind her. In no time at all, Zecora had her back against the old shack, the zebra slipping under the view of the door and hiding out of sight of the bay window which looked into the dining room.
Button Mash and company remained much further back, hiding in a particularly thick bush that allowed them to peer into the home. Where several familiar looking ponies were gathered around a table, smiles on their faces and empty wine glasses in their hooves. It was obvious even at a glance that they didn't think they would be attacked as they hardly even looked out the window.
Instead they merely continued to speak to one another in loud tones that were almost audible through the wooden walls of the glorified cottage. The four friends watched as Zecora slowly stood up, and pulled two bottles out of her bandolier, giving each a brief but firm shake. The swirling black liquid within quickly turned into a strange and unsettling mixture of purple and green that glowed faintly in the low light of the evening sun.
Then, just as the tension had reached its peak, the zebra leapt out of cover and whipped the potions through the window. A resounding crash echoed through the area, followed by two much smaller ones that signalled the potion’s impact and resulting detonation. Almost immediately gas began to fill the home, turning the cries of confusion into ones of panic and terror.
Zecora leapt through the window, the rest of the party already moving to follow by the time the zebra vanished into the green smoke. Scorch was the first into the home, shouldering his way straight through the flimsy wooden door without even pausing. Babs Seed followed close behind while Flurry Heart flew through the shattered window and Button Mash cautiously crept through the same entrance a second later.
All of their preparation and caution turned out to be in vain however, as the second the adventurers made it inside they found four changelings already unconscious on the ground. Instantly realizing that they didn't have all of their targets, Button Mash began to fumble around in search of the final changeling. Pointing down to the four changelings, Button Mash tried to find Zecora only to give up and merely assume she already knew.
“Stay quiet, let's search the back room,” Button Mash whispered, prompting his friends to nod and make their way from the kitchen into a cramped living room.
Which had stairs which went up on one side and a door on the other, both of which were hard to see given just how much of the green smoke filled the room. Button Mash was about to split the party and tell Scorch and Flurry Heart to search the upper floor when he heard hoofsteps from behind the door. They sounded like a pony climbing a set of stairs while softly humming the chorus of a popular tavern ballad without a care in the world.
“Hey guys I finally found the wine! Now we can really celebrate being freed from Chrysalis and-” The changeling shouted, only to open the door and find himself face to face with four surprised ponies, and a nonplussed zebra. “What in the heck?”
Zecora instantly leapt at the remaining changeling, delivering a punch to the gut which knocked the wind out of him. Now gasping for breath on the floor, the undisguised shape shifter began to try casting some sort of spell. Again, the zebra was faster, flicking his horn, causing the spell to fail and leaving the changeling with no way to resist before he suddenly fell still.
Zecora nodded. “This worked out better then I had anticipated,” the zebra remarked. “Even in my wildest dreams I wouldn't have thought that I’d capture them all without casualties.”
“What happened to your rhymes?” Asked Scorch.
“Who cares about that, what happened to that changeling?” Button Mash demanded, stepping up to the zebra. “He said they were free from Chrysalis. Something you said was impossible!”
“Do you guys feel a little funny, or is it just me?” Flurry Heart asked, the alicorn swaying back and forth on her hooves.
The zebra chuckled. “That would be the gas. It takes a little longer to work on ponies as well as dragons, but it does the job well enough.”
“Wait, you said it-” was all Button Mash managed to utter before he suddenly toppled to the ground, his eyes closed.
“You monster! We trusted you!” Cried Babs Seed, the fighter jabbing her poleax at the zebra’s center of mass.
Sidestepping the clumsy attack completely, Zecora batted the weapon aside before striking the earth pony in the throat. “Be thankful that I still have a use for you. Otherwise I would have collapsed your trachea.”
Babs Seed dropped her weapon and grasped at the collar to her undershirt, unbuckling it before tumbling to the ground.
With a wordless cry of rage, Flurry Heart released her spell, which took the form of a beam of absolute darkness that shot from her horn. This time Zecora didn't dodge as a jagged horn suddenly appearing on her head a second before a bright green barrier sprung up between them. Flurry Heart’s attack deflected uselessly off the shield, and the alicorn followed it up by summoning as much magic as she could.
Weaving that mana into a complex hex, Flurry Heart was about to release it when she suddenly fell forward, her entire body becoming inert by the time she hit the ground.
“You’ll regret that!” Scorch shouted, the dragon inhaling a deep lungful of fire.
“You’ll regret that as well,” warned the horned zebra. “This gas is explosive and though you may survive, I doubt your friends would.”
The dragon hesitated, looking down on the three unconscious ponies and wondering what he should do. Unfortunately for him, Scorch never managed to reach a decision before the gas took him too and he fell backwards onto the couch. The dragon deflated like a balloon, his body twitching several times before finally everything was still and silent.
“Ahh and now I not only have a few potent sources of love, but the fools who would dare question my rule,” remarked the disguised changeling cooly, dismissing her shield, and conjuring a gust of wind which banished the smoke. “To think all I’d have to do is plant a few ideas and they would do all the work for me.”
The changeling was engulfed in flames, and when they were gone, and the mask had been tossed aside, Chrysalis stood tall in the center of the room. “Now then, let us return to the hive so I may begin the next phase of my plan,” she continued.
The queen leaned down and gently cusped the young alicorn’s chin. “To think, all it took was a little bait to attract the much more important bait,” the changeling licked her lips with a long thin green tongue. “Not only will you force your mother down to my level but you will also give me the power to defeat her once and for all.”
Chrysalis let the alicorn’s face fall back to the ground with a dull thump, and she looked around to the other three adventurers who lay unconscious around them. “I suppose it's true what they say. Friendship truly is magic,” Chrysalis remarked, smirking cruelly.
Author's Note
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