Dungeons and Dicks

by Jest

Base of Operations

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“What, what is it?” Babs Seed asked, the mare looking around the room nervously, a hoof hovering over her weapon.

“N-nothing.” Button Mash quickly exclaimed.

“That was not nothing dude. You damn near jumped out of your fancy bathrobe.” Scorch remarked.

“It is not a…” Button Mash sighed and gestured vaguely towards the other side of the room. “We have visitors.”

The dragon blinked, and glanced over at the five ponies talking and eating one the other side of the bar. “What, them?”

“Yes.” Button Mash hissed. “They are… ya know.”

“Gay?” Scorch offered.

Flurry Heart sighed. “No, they are them.

The drake’s eyes went wide, and he was about to glance back over at the small group only for Flurry Heart to grab his chin. “Hey what gives?” He muttered.

“Don't look at them you idiot.” Flurry Heart whispered.

“They can detect emotion, remember, just stay calm and ignore them.” Babs Seed ordered.

Scorch snorted, and crossed his arms over his chest, but ultimately did as he was told. “Fine.” He muttered bitterly.

Flurry Heart leaned in close to Button Mash. “Are you sure that's them?” She asked.

Button Mash nodded. “Absolutely. They are overflowing with love.”

“Alright, so what's the plan?” Babs Seed asked.

“Split up, knock em out, and then bring em back to Zecora’s.” Scorch declared. “Easy.”

“There might be more of them.” Flurry Heart warned.

“I think we should just split up, and watch them as they go about their day.” Babs Seed offered, the fighter glancing around the table. “We can create a list of possible allies, and maybe find out where their hive is.”

“And figure out if they are good or evil.” Added Button Mash.

Scorch blinked owlishly. “Good? I thought you said these guys were soul sucking monsters. How can they be good?”

“Well I mean, they say some pretty terrible stuff about dragons too you know.” Flurry Heart pointed out, jabbing the drake in the side.

Scorch frowned. “I mean I guess.”

“Look. Yesterday was weird right?” Button Mash asked, prompting his friends to nod and agree, though some were more eager than others. “Maybe they are trying to be good and turned over a new leaf?”

“Nuh uh. No way.” Babs Seed interrupted. “Based on how Zecora tells it there is no way for them to break away from Chrysalis’ control. These guys have to be here for a reason.”

“Well how does Zecora know so much about changelings in the first place. What if she's one of them?” Button Mash countered.

“We were there remember? We already went over this.” Flurry Heart exclaimed.

“Hey guys.” Scorch interrupted.

“All I know is that there is a chance they are good, and I couldn't have been the only one to think that something bigger is going on.” Button Mash retorted.

“And I know that the only good bug is one thats sitting behind bars.” Babs Seed replied.

“Hey uh guys?” Scorch offered, waving his hand.

“Just a second.” Flurry Heart dismissed before turning to Button Mash. “I think your onto something Button Mash. Why don't we watch them for a few hours, and then meet back up for lunch and discuss our plan of attack.”

“Well you better get moving. Cus they already left.” Scorch pointed out.

“Wait, they left? Why didn't you tell us?” Babs Seed demanded.

“I was trying to, but you kept ignoring me.” Scorch retorted.

“We can argue later, for now we have to move. Scorch, you lead the way.” Flurry Heart commanded.

The dragon nodded and hopped out of his chair. “Maybe next time you guys will actually listen to me.” He remarked.

“You’re right. I’m sorry Scorch, it was rude of me to ignore you.” Button Mash exclaimed.

Scorch grinned and patted the stallion on the back hard enough to nearly knock him off his hooves. “Its alright Curves. Let's just get the job done.”

“Right.” Button Mash muttered while blushing hard.

“Let's go already, before we lose them.” Babs Seed exclaimed, the mare gesturing towards the door.

“They couldn't have gotten far.” Scorch pointed out as he turned around and made for the door.

“Still. We got lucky, let's not squander this opportunity.” Flurry Heart urged.

The dragon pushed his way through the door, and walked out into the wide street. After a brief look around, Scorch located their targets just before they turned a corner.

“There, and they don't seem to be moving very quickly.” Scorch stated while pointing to where they had just disappeared.

“Either way, we better hurry.” Babs Seed declared before swiftly trotting down the street.

Her friends were quick on her heels, and together they quickly made their way towards where they had last seen the disguised changelings. After reaching the corner, Scorch stopped them and peaked around the building, his shoulders relaxing a second later.

“They stopped in the middle of the road, it looks like they are about to split up.” Scorch whispered.

Button Mash peaked around the corner as well, studying the disguised changelings closely for the first time. One was disguised as an older female unicorn who wore her long golden mane in a tight bun at the back of her head. Crows feet were visible at the edges of her eyes, and her skin seemed taut, suggesting that she was a little underweight. Her soft yellow fur was also well cared for, and upon her flanks was an image of a tree with growth stakes on either side of it.

The next was a large, heavy set earth mare, with a wide smile visible on her face and an equally wide brimmed hat that sat upon her hat. Her coat was thick, and blue, while her eyes were a soft teal and her mane was a dull reddish color. Her cutie mark was of three red balls spaced in arch, as if they had recently been thrown into the air.

The changeling next to her was disguised as a tall, lean male pegasus with bright green eyes, and a dull brown coat. His age seemed to fall somewhere between the previous two, and if Button Mash had to guess he would have said that the pegasus was in his mid thirties. He also looked surprisingly strong despite his stringbean appearance, and he had a cutie mark with an axe embedded in a stump.

The other male of the group was disguised as a burly unicorn stallion who was only just shorter then the pegasus he stood next to. His coat was a dark scarlet, and his eyes were a soft orange color while his cutie mark was of a sword and what looked like a training dummy. He was the only one out of the group that had a visible weapon, or wore a pair of saddle bags which were bulging with what appeared to be pieces of armor.

The last one was perhaps the only member of their group who seemed overtly threatening, as they were disguised as a female pegasus with black fur, and a deep scarlet mane. Her eyes were a soft grey, and upon her flanks was what looked like a butcher’s knife stuck within a block of wood. Though that intimidation ended at her face, as she wore one of the widest, most genuine smiles Button Mash had ever seen.

The stallion swiftly pulled himself back around the corner. “Alright, so here's what's going to happen. I’ll follow the older female unicorn. Scorch will follow the earth pony with the hat. Flurry Heart will follow the green pegasus, and Babs Seed will follow the guard looking one.”

“Should be easy enough.” Scorch muttered.

“But what about the last one?” Babs Seed inquired.

“We’ll meet back up and follow her together since I already know where she’s going to be.” Button Mash replied.

“Where is that?” Flurry Heart pressed.

“She's obviously a butcher, and there is only one of those in town.” Button Mash explained. “Wait, I think I hear them moving. Ready?”

The other three adventurers all nodded, and quickly began to move into position, following their designated target as they broke off from the group. Button Mash felt a little exposed as the last of his friends vanished from sight, but the male quickly reminded himself of how important this all was. With confidence surging in his breast, he slipped down a back alley, and swiftly emerged back onto the main thoroughfare, his target only a few dozen metres away.

Remembering the crash course in stealth that he had gotten from Zecora, Button Mash did his best to act inconspicuous. An effort that was seemingly rewarded, as the changeling didn't seem to notice his presence, and merely walked at an even, confident pace. After making their way through the heart of town, Button Mash’s target entered into a small, ill used side street.

A little confused, the male cautiously followed her while remaining prepared to grab the staff from his back at a moment’s notice. An urge that ultimately turned out to be wasted, as the street they found themself in was normal, if a bit dingy. Though that was by Ponyville’s standards, so it just meant it wasn't quite as wide, or as well treed as most.

Other than a few half dead poplar trees that dotted the edge of the street, there were few visible ponies. Which made sense, as there were only a few warehouses, and a rather rundown looking three story house that was pressed between two of the larger warehouses. Red paint flecked off of the home’s exterior, and a small sign sat out front, marking it as the ‘New Heritage Home’.

Foals could be seen through the windows, some playing, others reading or just sitting around. The sight made Button Mash think of an orphanage, but that couldn't be true, as he knew about all of the ones in Ponyville. Curious, he watched as the disguised changeling walked up to the front door and continued right inside, clearly familiar with the place.

Button Mash pretended to look around and appear lost while at the same time waiting for a newspaper pony to pass him by. With him gone, he was now more or less alone, and without any witnesses, he slipped next to one of the larger warehouses. Upon going around the back proceeding around it, he noticed that there was some leftover scaffolding on the side, which when stood upon would give him the perfect vantage point to look into the side of the house without being seen.

Upon climbing atop, and settling into his new perch, Button Mash prepared for a long slow day by finding a comfortable spot and setting aside his staff. Once done, he peered through the nearby window and began to study the strange orphanage. Hours quickly flew by, and during that time Button Mash would go from eager, to bored, and ultimately ending with him simply being confused.

The changeling was dutiful, empathetic, and kind, spending all her time doting on the dozen or so foals which called the orphanage home. Even when one of the older resident’s got angry and shouted at her, the changeling remained calm, and ultimately got the other pony to relax. Not once did she raise her voice, or seem to use any manner of changeling trickery to get anything out of the foals, or the other worker that had been there when she arrived.

Using his new found abilities, Button Mash was also able to discover that no one else in the house was a changeling, and that two of the younger girls had crushes on another. The slender stallion made a note to do a little matchmaking after he completed another quest so he could donate some much needed bits at the same time. Hopping down from his perch, the stallion had been about to slip away when he noticed the other worker was about to leave.

Thinking quickly, Button Mash sprinted around the warehouse, back onto the street and began to make his way slowly towards the orphanage. A maneuver that made it appear to any outside observer as if he were looking for someone in particular.

When the door opened, and a tall, slender spectacle wearing pegasus stepped outside, Button Mash’s eyes widened. “Oh, hello. Do you work here?” He asked, gesturing to the orphanage.

“Oh um yes. I’m actually in charge of the New Heritage Home. Though my mother takes care of most of the paper work and actual upkeep.” Explained the white furred and grey maned pegasus. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh I was thinking of donating some gold, as it seems as though you are in need of additional funds.” Button Mash explained.

The other pony sighed. “I’m afraid so. We haven't been open for very long and it seems as though we’ve already been forgotten back here.”

“Well your location isn't ideal, nor have I heard of you.” Button Mash explained, smiling suddenly. “Don't fear. I’ll make sure to tell father Violet as soon as I get back to the church.”

“That would be wonderful, thank you.” Exclaimed the exasperated pegasus.

Button Mash turned and gestured to the street invitingly. “Please, let us walk and talk.”

“Oh, um alright.” Muttered the other stallion who began to trot down the road, Button Mash close at his side. “Is there something else you need to know mister…”

“Button Mash, and I was just about to ask about the other pony who works with you. I haven't seen her in town before.” Button Mash continued, stuffing down the slight bit of guilt that came from lying to someone who had been nothing but honest to him.

“Sapling? I wouldn't be surprised. She spends all of her free time here, even after I try and send her home.” Replied the stallion.

“She sounds very… empathetic.” Button Mash murmured.

“She is the most empathetic pony I’ve ever met. Heck I don't think she's ever actually kept any of the money we’ve paid her, as it always seems to find its way back into the safe.” He smiled. “I honestly don't know what I would do without her.”

“Thats… nice.” Button Mash whispered.

“Are you alright, mister Mash?” Questioned the other male.

“Y-yeah. I’m fine just thinking is all.” Button Mash remarked before sighing.

“Well if that's it, I think I’m going to grab my lunch now.” Replied the pegasus who gestured to a nearby coffee shop.

“Thank you again for your time.” Button Mash exclaimed, bowing to the other male.

Who blushed slightly, and pawed at his neck, as if he were used to wearing a tie. “It's no problem really and the name is Steadfast Ward, but please just call me Ward.”

“I will.” Button Mash announced before turning and walking away, his mind filled with confusing thoughts and conflicting ideas.


Scorch glanced over the lip of his paper after hearing another burst of laughter coming from the room down the hall. A second later, and a clown slipped out of the room and placed a wide brimmed hat atop her head. With white and red makeup covering her face and a large fake red nose placed overtop of her real one, the earth pony mare seemed to be in her element. The wide grin she wore never faded for a second, even as the door closed behind her, and she was relatively alone in the long sterile hallway of the hospital.

A nurse quickly trotted up to her, a wide smile on her own face as well. “That was wonderful. I haven't heard them laugh like that in… oh gosh, months.” She happily exclaimed.

The disguised changeling grinned even wider. “It's not so hard. You just need to know just the right jokes to get them to open up and before you know it they are in laugh city.”

“Which you are the mayor of.” Added the nurse.

The clown blushed and scratched her face while looking away. “Oh I wouldn't go that far. I just enjoy cheering ponies up.”

“Well you certainly did a great job. Can we expect you again on friday?” Asked the nurse.

The clown nodded. “That's the plan, come heck or high water.”

“That's wonderful. Have a great day.” Urged the nurse.

Scorch ducked into a nearby bathroom and tossed his paper in the trash, waiting patiently for the sound of hooves to pass him by. While he waited, the dragon ruminated on what he had managed to gather about their changeling clown. Which wasn't a lot, as the changeling seemed to genuinely enjoy the work, though calling it work was a bit of a misnomer, as Scorch hadn't seen any bits change hooves.

Other than that, he had learned that everyone who knew the changeling absolutely adored her and that she was quite good at her job. She was also pretty funny, and Scorch had to stop himself from laughing more than a few times while he was listening in on her. The dragon looked up, and caught a glimpse of his frowning face in the mirror, his expression quickly turning into a scowl.

“Something isn't right.” He muttered to himself.


It took everything that Flurry Heart had in order to not reveal her position behind a large oak tree near a cottage which lay at the edge of the Everfree. The actual building was a small, squat square structure with only two windows, and contained very few enmities. Outside of it stood the disguised changeling with an axe over his shoulder, the male currently wiping the sweat from his brow between strikes.

That wasn't what Flurry Heart saw though, as a rather brightly colored spider was slowly descending from the tip of her hood. The arachnid was most likely poisonous, and the mare was hesitant to make any sudden movements. Fortunately for her, Flurry Heart was able to move a little closer to a low hanging branch, causing the spider to bump into a leaf.

Reacting on instinct, the spider quickly began to survey the new area, giving the alicorn just enough time to light her horn, sever the spider’s string and quietly move away. Once she was certain that the spider wasn't somehow following her, the mare let out a deep sigh, and glanced back over to the disguised changeling. Who was still chopping wood while whistling a soft tune to himself, just as he had been for the last hour and a half.

Thankfully the pile of unchopped wood was steadily shrinking, and when finally the last peice of wood was split, the changeling threw his axe over his shoulder and walked up to the cottage. Where an appreciative old stallion stood, bits in hoof, and a smile already on his face. The changeling quickly declined payment though, and gently pushed the old timer’s hoof back, causing the earth pony’s eyes to go wide.

A short discussion, and several attempts to pay him later, and the old stallion reluctantly put away his money and gave the changeling a brief hug. After that they said a heartfelt goodbye, parted ways and the changeling took off, flying off in the direction of town. Flurry Heart briefly considered following him, but ultimately decided against it, as she had seen quite enough already.

The changeling was undeniably a good pony, even if they were doing such things only for the benefit of more food. Regardless, the result was still the same, namely that there was a long list of satisfied ponies who had been helped by a single friendly disguised changeling. And with that realization, the rest of the righteous indignation Flurry Heart felt from her family’s history with changelings slowly dissipated.

Clearly this group was different, but why, and how?

With no answers readily apparent, the pony sighed and began the long trot back to the inn they were staying at. The pony was hopeful that her friends had more answers than she did, though the alicorn had a feeling that they were as confused as she was.


Babs Seed tapped her hoof impatiently as she pretended to drink her tea, and watch the disguised changeling out of the corner of her gaze. The burly unicorn stallion they were disguised as was evidently known by the local guard, who seemed to trust him implicitly. As evidenced by how he had spent his entire morning training with the newest recruits without supervision by the older guard ponies.

Yet despite this ample opportunity to use his mind powers on the unwitting trainees, he didn't seem to attempt any such thing. Hell, he spent more time laughing and joking with the various ponies then even training them, something which was seemingly expected. As when a senior guard returned, they had a good laugh about it before pouring themselves some coffee, and chatting shop until now.

Which was when he had begun to spar one on one with the various younger guards, and then after, a passing adventurer. Which was an opening Babs Seed decided to utilize to her advantage, as she had been studying his style all morning. It was a fairly straightforward unicorn style, wherein a shield was strapped to one leg, and the blade was wielded by magic. It was a versatile manner of fighting that neither favored offence, or defence, but blended the two perfectly well.

And Babs Seed knew exactly how to beat it.

With a grin on her face, Babs Seed already imagined the looks she would get the second she knocked the changeling out, and revealed its true nature for all to see. Maybe then she wouldn't feel so conflicted by the changeling’s nice guy routine that seemed to have fooled everyone. She just hoped that she would be able to play it off as an accident, otherwise Button Mash might end up a little ticked at her.

That little realization made her stop and rethink her plan, well, for all of five seconds anyway. Then she shook her head, and pushed away from the table she had been seated at, adjusting her armor as she walked across the road. With her breastplate strapped tight about her chest, and her chainmail undershirt, and leather jerkin also in place, she felt ready.

Upon nearing the small guard training area, the nearest half plate clad pony perked up suddenly. “Here to challenge Oak Post eh?” He exclaimed with a grin.

“Yeah, how did you know?” Babs Seed replied.

“I’ve seen that same look in enough of the trainee’s eyes to be able to spot it from a mile away.” He remarked, before using his spear to gesture towards the disguised changeling in question. “Go on in, he knows to expect adventurers like you.”

Babs Seed nodded, and silently slipped through the small group of guards who had gathered near the water table. Upon seeing the red coated unicorn her target was now disguised as, Babs Seed walked up to the edge of the dirt circle at the center of the training area. The changeling in question was mid drink when he noticed Babs’ look and nodded to her before downing the rest of his refreshment and tossed the water skin aside.

“Ahh, another challenger I see.” He stated, while opening his hooves wide. “Welcome, welcome. I am Oak Post. Mercenary, traveler, and warrior. Who might you be?”

“Babs Seed. Adventurer, and fighter.” Babs replied.

“Ahh and I see you wield the noble poleaxe. Truly a magnificent weapon. I just wish they had made a lighter version for us unicorns.” Added the fighter with a grin.

“What is with you and pole weapons?” One trainee shouted.

The disguised changeling chuckled. “I merely regret choosing such a plain weapon like the long sword is all.” He replied.

“So, ground rules.” Babs Seed interrupted.

The red coated unicorn nodded. “Right. I’ll use a spell to blunt the blades of our weapons, as well as a simple dueling spell that will make a red mark appear on an opponent when a fatal blow is landed. Provided that is alright with you my dear.”

“It is.” Babs Seed quickly stated, the pony unslinging her weapon in a single, swift motion.

“Ooh, she might be good.” A guard muttered.

The ‘unicorn’ lit his horn and quickly cast the necessary spells, and after getting a feel for them, Babs Seed nodded, satisfied with his work. “Ready?” She asked.

“Rea-” Was all he managed to say before Babs Seed threw herself forward, jabbing the pointed end of the pole axe directly at the changeling’s center of mass.

Though he gasped audibly, and narrowly threw his shield in the path of her weapon, Babs Seed got the feeling like he wasn't actually surprised. She tried not to think about that though, merely focusing on drawing her weapon back a second after it made contact with the shield. The wide swing of the changeling’s sword was easy to spot, but was deceptively fast, and Babs Seed narrowly smacked it away with her axe.

The weapon tumbled end over end before the changeling seemed to get a hold of it once more, and in that time Babs Seed managed to deliver three swift stabs. All of which were easily blocked by the stallion who used his shield to deflect the blows, though the force behind them was evidently taking a toll. Forced to step back after each stab, the stallion found himself near the edge of the ring before finally his weapon was once more in his firm grasp.

The changeling didn't seem overly concerned though, and continued to smile as he blocked a chop with his shield before jabbing his longsword at the pony. Ducking down, Babs Seed was forced to abandon her next attack and focus on keeping out of the longsword’s reach. Something that took just about all of her focus to do, but thankfully an opening presented itself when she saw him go in for a chop aimed at her face.

Her counter attack would be dangerous and stupid in most scenarios, but she trusted in her axe, and knew it didn't need to be sharp to do the job. Bringing her own axe up and to the right, the two weapons met with a clang in the middle, though this time the longsword didn't move. A little shocked, Babs Seed threw more strength into it, intent on shoving the weapon aside and giving her the opening she craved.

Oak Post didn't budge however, until all of a sudden, the sword teleported away, and Babs Seed tumbled forward, and received a poke to the back of her neck. Now laying on the ground, Babs Seed couldn't help but blink in shock, a little irritated at the stallion for tricking her, but mostly annoyed at herself for falling for it. With a sigh, she dropped her weapon, and was about to push herself up when a hoof was extended towards her.

“Sorry that was a little cheeky on my part.” Oak Post remarked with a slight wince.

Babs Seed sighed. “It's alright, I got a little too focused. As per usual.”

“Honestly if you stayed a little more aloof I think you would have beaten me given time.” Exclaimed the disguised changeling, who took the mare’s hoof and hefted her back onto all fours.

“Really, why do you say that?” Babs Seed countered.

“Your strength is considerable, and it took quite a bit to hold you at bay. If you had done something like kick me in the shin or even spit on me I would have likely lost my blade and any chance at delivering a counter attack.” Explained the male as Babs Seed dusted herself off and placed her weapon on her back.

“That sounds awful cheap there Post.” Muttered a nearby trainee.

The disguised changeling snorted. “In a life or death scenario, there is the honorless, and the dead. You have to ask yourself which one you’d rather be.”

“That's very wise. Thank you.” Exclaimed Babs Seed who gave the changeling a slight bow.

“You flatter me. Do feel free to come by anytime though. I’m usually around here somewhere.” Oak Post replied.

“You can probably find him eating all the donuts and drinking all our coffee.” Shouted another guard from near the back.

Oak Post chuckled. “Well it's not like you pay me, and since I’m not about to steal office supplies I gotta get something out of this.”

The guards all laughed, and Babs Seed took that as her cue to leave, the pony slipping out of the ring, and trotting back in the direction of the inn. Now more confused than ever, the pony almost wished that he had been needlessly cruel to her, or at least a little rude. Maybe then she wouldn't feel quite as bad for thinking so poorly of the changeling despite never having met him.

Maybe there is something to what Button Mash said. She thought to herself before shaking her head. We got one last one to check out though, maybe this butcher changeling will reveal how evil they truly are.


Babs Seed was the last to enter the inn, and upon seeing the faces of her friends, she quickly realized that she was not alone in feeling a little confused. Sitting down next to Button Mash, the fighter leaned her weapon against the table, and looked around.

“Wasn't what you expected was it?” She asked.

All three of them nodded.

“They were all kind, productive, and never seemed to use their powers to brainwash anyone.” Button Mash declared before turning to the fighter. “An observation you likely had as well.”

“I did.” Babs Seed admitted with a sigh. “He is helping to train the local militia, and isn't even doing it for money either. I don't know what his angle is, but I’m starting to think there might not be one. Though he is pretty tricky all the same.”

Scorch slammed his fists into the table suddenly. “Lets go to the butcher right now. I gotta know if they are all as nice as the ones we’ve seen.”

“I’m with Scorch on this one. If there was any one of them that had the chance of being evil it's definitely the butcher.” Flurry Heart exclaimed.

Babs Seed nodded. “I’m in.”

“Alright then, follow me, and try not to act suspicious. Zecora’s little lessons were pretty good, but walking as a group will likely get someone’s attention.” Button Mash warned.

“Sounds fair. Lead the way.” Babs Seed offered.


“Hey watch where your putting those hooves of yours.” Scorch muttered while he gripped the cleric’s ankles.

Button Mash grumbled under his breath, forehooves trying to grasp the edge of the small window that would allow him to see into the back of the butcher shop. “I’ll stop stepping on you the second you stop moving.” He hissed back.

“Would you both shut up? This back alley isn't exactly well hidden.” Babs Seed whispered.

A statement that was quite true, as it was clearly visible to anyone who walked down a short, ill used side street nearby. One that had gone thankfully unused so far, allowing Button Mash to peer into the small, narrow window that would allow him to see the butcher’s work area. After nearly slipping from Scorch’s shoulders, the cleric managed to grab hold of the ledge and pull himself up just enough to peek into the window.

The second he did, Button Mash realized why the window had been so high up, and why the first floor was so tall. As rows of meat hung from hooks on the left side of the room, while the right was occupied by numerous knives and a large workstation. A curtain obscured the front of the shop from most of the back, but left just enough space that Button Mash could still see any customers that may enter though there werent any currently there.

“What do you see?” Scorch whispered.

“Nothing, noones there… wait. I think I see someone.” Button Mash quickly replied.

Walking into the room was the disguised changeling that he had seen before, her scarlet mane, black fur and surprisingly piercing grey eyes remaining as intimidating as ever, despite the distance. She also quickly got to work, drying her hooves on a nearby towel before grabbing a slab of meat and throwing it on the block. It took a moment to select the right knife for the job, but once she did, the changeling dove right in, slicing and dicing away.

“Woah, that's some kind of knife skills.” Button Mash exclaimed.

“The meat, are you sure it's from a cow?” Flurry Heart whispered.

Button Mash scanned the room and nodded. “It looks like it.”

“How can you be sure?” Countered Scorch.

“Part of our training as priests of love were to get familiar with other cultures, and peoples. Which meant finding out about the culinary habits of omnivores and carnivores.” Button Mash explained.

“Smart. Anything suspicious?” Babs Seed whispered.

The cleric shook his head. “Not that I can see and other than being really good with a knife, I don't see anything out of the ordinary.”

“Well this is a bust. Can you come down now? My shoulders are killing me.” Complained Scorch.

“Just a second, I think I see someone coming in.” Button Mash whispered back.

The cleric watched closely as a nervous, and disheveled griffon pushed open the door and slipped awkwardly inside. “I think it's Steel Wind.” Muttered Button Mash.

“That creepy homeless dude?” Scorch asked.

Flurry Heart glared at him. “He is not creepy. Just… different.”

“We can argue later. Button Mash, what's going on?” Babs Seed inquired.

“I don't know, I can't quite hear them, give me a second and don't say a word.” Cautioned the cleric, who leaned in a little closer.

“Are you s-sure it's okay for me to take this?” Asked the greying griffon, his clawed hand clutching tight a small bag of sausages.

“Absolutely. I heard about the trouble you were experiencing and I knew I had to do something.” Replied the disguised changeling.

The griffon sighed and hung his head in defeat. “You do me a great honor. One that I am quite unworthy of.”

“Hey now friend. Don't say that.” The changeling butcher extended a hoof to the griffon’s shoulder. “We all deserve a second chance, right?”

“I-I suppose. Though I fear that it won't be the last time I fail.” Murmured the griffon.

Button Mash quickly uttered a prayer to Cadance and activated his emotional sight, curious as to any potential sub text he may be missing out on. Only to be quickly surprised when he found out the griffon was indeed just that, a griffon, while the changeling remained mostly the same. She was still full of love, though that love was also leaving her, and flowing towards the griffon, who shared a thin red strand with the butcher.

It was frayed, and wrought with jealousy, fear, and distrust but it was mutual, though neither had acknowledged it yet. They like each other. Button Mash thought to himself. But she also seems to genuinely want to help.

Inside, the griffon pulled the back of sausages closer to himself. “And these are already smoked, right?”

“In our enchanted smoker. Which should enable them to stay good for over a week even without having to keep them cold.” Stated the disguised changeling.

That made the griffon breath a little easier, and a small blush appeared at the edge of his cheeks. “You know in my culture giving such a gift would be considered a marriage proposal by most.” He explained.

The changeling blushed and rubbed the back of her neck. “Well I don't know about that. Though maybe after you reclaim your family home from those monsters I just might try again. I’ve always wanted to be a duchess.”

So that's her angle! Button Mash thought, only to have his assertion immediately blown out of the water.

The griffon laughed aloud. “It's only a couple acres in a nameless valley known only for the giant spiders that seem to fester in the caves near it. You would be a duchess in name only.”

“Still, it would be fun to rub that in my mother’s face and show her that my skills are valued after all.” Declared the changeling with a wide grin.

“Well your mother is a fool.” Declared Steal Wind. “Your skills are superb, and you are a delightful conversation partner.”

“Thanks Steal Wind. That means a lot coming from you.” Replied the changeling.

“Yes well, I really must be going. Adventurers like to congregate at about this time. Hopefully one of them will finally accept my request.” Steal Wind declared before turning and starting to walk away.

“Best of luck! Tell ‘em there’s a big discount in it for them if they accept!” Shouted the changeling, prompting the griffon to blush a little harder before he left.

“That's… strange.” Button Mash muttered.

“What, what is it?” Scorch demanded.

“We need to talk to Zecora again.” Button Mash muttered before climbing down the dragon’s back.

“Why is that?” Questioned Flurry Heart.

“Look I’ll explain in detail along the way, but the short version is that I don't think she’s evil either.” Button Mash remarked.

Scorch rubbed his shoulders and frowned. “So if they don't seem to be doing anything evil then why are they here?”

Button Mash frowned. “Good question.”


Author's Note

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