Cheerilee's Guide to Gardening

Rain trickled against cottage roofs. Ponies closed their windows and shutters to protect their houses from the fierce oncoming storm. Two fillies ran through the streets to get home before the storm struck in earnest. One wore a crown on her head, declaring her the princess of the Ponyville schoolroom. The other wore fashionable thick glasses. A trip to Sugarcube Corner had taken longer than expected, and both were desperate to avoid getting soaked.

“Like, see you later Diamond.” Silver Spoon scowled as a drop of rain landed on her nose. Thank Luna her house was only a few blocks away from her friend’s palatial manor. Diamond’s butler, Randolph, stood by the door, ready to invite her inside.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come inside?” Diamond Tiara asked. “It’s super lame you have to walk through this.”

Silver Spoon scowled. “I’d like to, but Miss Cheerilee assigned me some extra homework as punishment, but never explained why. So lame.”

“Lame.” Diamond echoed. “Whatever, see you in the morning.“ A light brightened in the small filly’s eyes. “One sec.” She darted into her house and returned with a vinyl record.

Silver Spoon’s eyes lit with excitement. “Is that Countess Coloratura’s newest album? But how? Doesn’t it, like, comes out at the end of the month!”

A smug, satisfied smile formed on Diamond Tiara’s lips. “My daddy has contacts. It isn’t the official version of the album, so it’s missing a few songs. It’s a sampler for the record people, but it’s still pretty cool. Now your homework won’t be so boring.”

“Thanks!” Silver Spoon put the record into her saddlebags and waved her friend goodbye. She beamed and she started off into the storm. Her parents were off on some business trip or whatever. They were away so often that their daughter didn’t bother keeping track of where they went. Nothing was stopping her from playing her music on full blast all night. She winced as the wind blew her mane into her face. Rain pattered against the filly’s head and she increased her pace. The streets were empty. Everypony had already hidden away somewhere warmer and drier.

The small filly froze and considered her next move. A shortcut through a patch of trees stood a few hooves away. Large patches of mud had already formed amongst the thick trees. Wincing, Silver Spoon looked both ways, searching for anypony that might observe her. She often took this shortcut, but it sometimes resulted in getting dirty or getting leaves or twigs in her mane. However, it cut several minutes from her path home, well worth the trouble. After a long careful search for observers, Silver Spoon nodded to herself, satisfied. She was an elegant, pristine pony and couldn’t bear ponies seeing her otherwise. Besides, a hot bath awaited her when she arrived home, anyway.

Leaves crumbled under her hooves and stuck to them as Silver Spoon ran through the mud. The trees protected her from the worst of the storm, but not enough to keep her from getting soaked through. Her heart soared, spotting her house and the warmth it promised. She stopped by the edge and peered through a bush, making sure the coast was clear. Her heart jumped when a rustle caught her attention.

“Miss Cheerilee?” Silver Spoon exclaimed equal parts mortified and confused why her teacher appeared from behind a tree. “What are you doing here?”

Her teacher beamed at her, and Silver Spoon shifted awkwardly on her hooves. For a reason she couldn’t explain, something felt wrong. She noticed that her teacher had leaves in her mane. Had Miss Cheerilee been hiding in a bush?

“So glad I caught you!” Cheerilee replied. “I feared you might spend the night at Diamond Tiara’s house.”

“Yeah?” Silver Spoon replied, confused by her teacher’s phrasing. Why would it matter if she spent a night at Diamond’s or not? “So I can do that stupid homework you gave me.” She didn’t hide her annoyance.

“Glad that you’re taking your schoolwork seriously!” Cheerilee declared.

“Right, I’ll be leaving now.” Everything in her screamed to flee and she listened to that voice. She turned to flee, but something caught her from behind and placed a rag over her mouth. Silver Spoon struggled with her capturer, but their grip was like iron, and her vision blurred. The last thing she saw was Miss Cheerilee’s grinning face and blackness consumed her.

“Ugh, what the hay?” Silver Spoon groaned and lifted her head. The bright light above made the filly wince in pain. She blinked, trying to clear the sleepiness.

“Finally, you’re awake!” A colt standing over her said, relieved he wasn’t alone. He gave his teacher worried, furtive glances. So far, she had ignored Snips’ pleas for answers.

“Thank Luna, that knockout drug had too much kick!” Cheerilee shook her head, annoyed with herself. She’d used too much of the special potion Carrot Top had taught her. The dear was always a marvel at creating interesting concoctions but hadn’t warned her about its potency. Nevermind, they were finally awake now and the show could begin!

“Uh, Miss Cheerilee, why are we, like, in a glass prison thing?” Silver Spoon tapped the glass of the giant fish tank with a hoof.

“You like it!” Cheerilee beamed. “It’s quite an interesting invention on my part. Simple but elegant!”

“What?” Silver Spoon asked, baffled. “Where are we? Why are you doing this?”

“An abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of Ponyville! It’s a place that will provide us plenty of privacy!” Cheerilee replied.

Through the broken windows, heavy rain crashed onto the cement floor. She’d picked somewhere far away. In stories, the killer always had some secret basement in their house where they had their fun with their victims. In Cheerilee’s estimate, this was stupid. Why leave evidence in your home where anypony could stumble upon it? Knowing her luck, Trixie would discover it by accident, forcing Cheerilee to provide an awkward explanation. Best not to leave any evidence anywhere near her person. Only foals kept trophies of their crimes.

“Is this for a game?” Snips asked.

“This isn’t funny, Miss Cheerilee!” Silver Spoon slammed a hoof against the tank’s glass. “Let us out of here.”

“You right, Miss Spoon, this isn’t funny.” Cheerilee’s expression turned serious. “This is about punishment for bad useless foals.”

“What?!” Silver Spoon stepped back, shocked.

Cheerilee paced around the tank, giving her captives a careful study. “This is about removing weeds from my precious garden.”

“Weeds?” Snips tensed, keeping a careful watch of his captor.

“I’m not a weed, idiot!” Silver Spoon snapped.

“I’ve studied everypony in my little garden.” Cheerilee continued. “Looking for weaknesses. Searching for the weeds that strangled my other wonderful, beautiful students. Weeds that need elimination.”

“Elimination?” Her prisoners froze, their bodies turning rigid; shock and fear filled their eyes. They realized Cheerilee wasn’t fooling around.

“Yes,” Cheerilee said in a low purr, “it’s what the class needs to thrive.”

“No, you can’t!” Silver Spoon said desperately. “I’m no weed! Please! No!”

Cheerilee snorted. “Oh, really. I’ve watched you ever since you entered my class. You’ve been nothing but a brute and bully.”

“But Diamond Tiara meaner than I am!” Silver Spoon replied, throwing her so-called friend under the cart. “She’s the real bully. I was only following her lead!”

“Yes, well. Diamond’s a special case.” Cheerilee replied. “She has issues. Her mother’s a nasty piece of work. She’s only acting out for attention. The poor dear has trouble connecting with ponies. Not unlike my friend Trixie! Like Trixie, I sense there’s good in her deep down. She only needs a little push.” Her friendship with the mare had taught Cheerilee much about the hidden depth that lied within ponies.

Cheerilee looked Silver Spoon directly into the eye. “What’s your excuse? None. You’re a spoiled brat that enjoys tormenting ponies. A pony who follows and never thinks for themselves.” The filly stared equal part fear and outrage.

“And I’m here because I’m a dummy.” Snips looked down in shame.

Cheerilee nodded. At least somepony was thinking correctly. Top marks for Snips.

“What?! Then take Snails instead!” Silver Spoon replied desperately. “I’m way smarter than him. He’s a total retard! He’s useless!”

“Now none of that language young lady,” Cheerilee said, her voice reproachful, “he’s a real sweetie and much smarter than he appears.” Besides, Cheerilee couldn’t bear hurting her friend Raindrops.

“Screw you, you freak!” Silver Spoon slammed her shoulder against the glass, but it didn’t even budge. Cheerilee smirked. She’d been careful to order a tank capable of withstanding the wrath of a hammerhead shark. These weeds wouldn’t escape. Unlike the incensed filly, Snips’ body sunk, defeated, not fighting against his enviable fate.

“But there is hope!” Cheerilee’s voice brightened. This caught her captives’ attention who gaze up at her in hope. “Let’s play a little game.” She walked over to a hose built into the tank and twisted the knob. It jittered and soon belched out water into the tank.

“What?” Silver Spoon edged away from the water like it was a serpent.

“In the tank, you’ll see I’ve left a knife!” Cheerilee pointed towards an Exacto knife lying on the tank’s floor. “The rules are very simple. Two foals enter, only one leaves. The survivor gets to go home! Isn’t that lovely! You better hurry, you only have five minutes until the tank fills up and you drown!” She’d spent over an hour perfecting the timing. Wouldn’t her face be red if the tank filled too quickly? Cheerilee rubbed her hooves together, eager to see what would happen next!

The weeds stared confused and scared, unsure about what they should do. They jumped as the cold water touched the bottom of their hooves, knowing they didn’t have long until their end came.

“No, this is bad! Wrong!” Snips pleaded. “Please don’t do this, Miss Cheerilee, please!” His eyes widened as Silver Spoon dove for the knife and lunged at him. Somehow the larger, pudgy colt dodged the clumsy, desperate attack.

“I’m not dying here!” Silver Spoon’s face twisted in an ugly snarl.

“Don’t do this Silver!” Snips’ back hit against the glass wall and edged around it, watching the filly with a careful, fearful expression.

Silver Spoon cackled an ugly laugh tinged with madness and readied her weapon. “I see why Miss Cheerilee chose you. Nopony will care when you die, you fat little creep. Now be a good colt and get stabbed!”

The filly lunged again. Snips screamed in pain as the knife scraped against his side, leaving a trail of blood which dribbled down into the rising water. Silver Spoon yelped as the colt retaliated, slamming her against the wall of their glass prison. The knife fell from the filly’s hooves and Snips kicked it away. He looked down at his opponent, unsure what he should do to the prone filly. Snips eyed Cheerilee, but she only replied with an impassive look. The tank continued to fill, almost to their waists. The knife disappeared into the water lost from sight and Silver Spoon reached around blindly with no luck.

“Good, now we can talk like normal ponies.” Snips said, but Silver Spoon only screamed like a banshee. She dove, her hooves pressing against the colt’s throat. He coughed and sputtered and the impact knocked him off balance into the water.

The two foals wrestled for survival. Silver Spoon refused to surrender, fighting even harder she pushed Snips’ face under the water’s surface. The colt gasped, desperate for breath. Silver Spoon slammed his head into the bottom of the tank. Soon, the colt weakened and the filly held his head under the water proper. Snips struggled for several more moments, but it was futile. Silver Spoon made it impossible to raise this head above the water for precious air. Silver Spoon was panting after concluding her nasty business and stumbled backward, unable to believe what she’d just done. She stared at Snip’s lifeless body for several long moments.

“Congratulations! We have a winner!” Cheerilee said amongst the silence.

“Please let me go. Please.” Tears fell freely from the little filly’s eyes and slammed a hoof against her glass prison. The water reached almost to her neck.

“No, sorry,” Cheerilee replied matter-of-factly.

“What?!” Silver Spoon stared, unable to believe her own ears.

Cheerilee rolled her eyes and snorted. “This is why I’m getting rid of you, you’re a murderer. I’m a serial killer, silly. Do you really think I’d let you walk away? Come on.”

“No.” Silver Spoon’s voice was almost a whisper. “Please, no.”

Part of Cheerilee actually considered letting the filly free, curious how her life would proceed after this. She’d taken a life and that changed a pony, forever. Would she spend the rest of her life pretending this didn’t happen, desperately telling herself she was still normal? Would she turn her life around and work hard to make amends for her crime? Or would she embrace her darker nature and kill again? So many possibilities, but Cheerilee shook her head, deciding against it. While enlightening, she didn’t want to get caught and spend the rest of her life in prison. Too many other fillies and colts required her special attention.

Rage filled the filly’s face and Silver Spoon screamed obscenities, much to Cheerilee’s shock. Where had the filly learned such language? How shameful for somepony her age. The fury soon died, turning to desperation.

“Please, don’t do this!” The tank had almost filled to the top and the filly waded in the chill water. Her face pressed against the glass ceiling, reaching for the remaining air. “I don’t want to die! Please, no. Please!”

Cheerilee watched as the tank filled full and the tiny filly struggled in the water, frantic to stay alive. Silver Spoon slammed a hoof against the glass in one final desperate attempt to save her life. Cheerilee watched as the body went limp and floated down towards the bottom of the tank. Her glasses fell off her face, clinking against the tank’s floor.

“That went better than expected!” Cheerilee walked over to the hose and turned it off, glad at a job well done. The tank had filled at the exact speed she calculated. She’d even made sure to add both foals’ weight. Not even a single second had been misplaced.

The fight of the death was only a silly experiment she’d dreamed up and never thought the foals would actually do it. She’d been right to remove the nasty little weed named Silver Spoon. What a horrible little filly! Part of her felt pity for Snips, but his sacrifice had been a necessary one. Now came the hard part, disposing of the bodies.

Thank Luna neither of the foals received many wounds from the fight. A deep knife wound would be hard to explain and require a more drastic disposal method. A mudslide would be tricky but doable. Many wannabe killers thought a pony only had to throw a body into the Everfree and the timberwolves would tear it to pieces, removing any evidence. How ridiculous and risky.

Despite the Everfree being a place ponies avoided, it wasn’t unheard of for ponies to enter occasionally. Her friend Carrot Top liked going there to collect herbs sometimes. When ponies disappeared, rescue ponies always searched the Everfree first. Besides, timberwolves, while vicious and deadly, never bothered touching dead bodies. And wouldn’t ponies be curious why a drowned body found itself in the middle of the Everfree Forest?

Cheerilee glanced at the raging storm outside and smiled. It wouldn’t be too hard to believe that two foals out playing during a storm accidentally drowned themselves. Nopony would ask questions or even examine the bodies. Cheerilee’s record was squeaky clean, nopony would suspect her.

The bigger problem was disposing of this stupid tank. Cheerilee cursed her compulsion for elaborate kills. She enjoyed the challenge too much, unable to help herself. One day, she’d create a mess she couldn’t clean up and bury herself, but not today. First, she’d dispose of the bodies, then take apart the tank and hide the pieces until she could dispose of them piece by piece.

Cheerilee beamed. “Time to get to work! Nopony said being a serial killer was easy!”

The class muttered to themselves, a dark mood hung over the classroom and nopony was sure why. Two of their classmates were missing and Diamond Tiara, bully, and terror of the classroom looked stunned and broken. There were signs that she’d been crying. The adult ponies had been whispering about some incident but refused to explain anything. Police ponies prowled around town asking questions and gathering information.

Cheerilee entered her garden, wearing a solemn expression. She hated exposing ponies their age to the harsher realities of the world but pushed herself forward to complete her duty.

“Class, I regret to inform you that something has happened.” A small tear fell down her cheek. Dear Luna, she hated this part. “There’s been an accident. This morning, the bodies of Silver Spoon and Snips were found in the Ponyville River.” Poor Daisy suffered such a terrible shock when she had found them while pulling her cart along the river towards the marketplace. Cheerilee promised to send her a card later in the mail.

The entire class gasped in shock unable to believe their ears. This had to be a prank. Diamond Tiara breaking into active sobs proved that it wasn’t. Death was difficult to understand at their age. Some were sad, others broke into tears, and some appeared just confused.

“I’m suspending class until Monday. Don’t worry about homework.” Cheerilee continued. “If you wish to speak to somepony, a counselor is available. Don’t be afraid to speak up. Grief is difficult for everypony and nopony should face it alone. Just remember, I’m here for you, always. Class is dismissed.”

Poor Snails. The colt dragged his hooves, not bothering to hide his tears. His sister flew down next to him and Raindrops allowed him to cry into her plumage. The other foals' parents and family were there, ready to take their foals home. Cheerilee’s other friends came too, giving their friend their condolences and she embraced them warmly. Trixie appeared particularly broken up about the incident. Despite her grumpy exterior, she loved foals.

It was a dark day for Ponyville, but they’d recover. Everypony would. Ponies were tough and resilient. It taught them the fragility of life and how precious it was. A smile grew on Cheerilee’s face as Dinky comforted Diamond Tiara, and the stubborn little filly didn’t reject the hug Dinky gave her. Despite the antagonism between the two fillies, Scootaloo soon joined her. They’d be good friends to Diamond in the coming days. Despite these dark times, her garden would recover and flourish even brighter.