Adventures in Equestria.

I was awoken by being headbutted by Apple. Apple kept going until I finally peeked my eyes open. Not the way I’d like to be awoken to be honest but not the worst. She kept poking me and whinnying looking at the locked door. Slowly standing up and feeling the injured shoulder flare as I tried to use it too much. Putting my boots back on and my cloak I grabbed my axe and opened the door. Walking out I made my way to the wall and started up it. It was crude I admit, it had taken me a lot of time to strip each log and set them up vertically and then even longer to pile dirt and rock behind to form a ramp back to the stone wall. Gazing into the forest I could see my enemy, the demon wolf just slept at the base of the bridge. I dreaded this if it becomes a tradition I would never be able to leave.

Feeling a tug on my pants leg I turned around and Apple was sitting there rubbing her tummy. “Alrighty Apple let's find some food for you, I hope those carrots and things in the old garden will work.” Walking back down the ramp I made my way to my preserved food barrels, the food I had dried out from the fire, and stored in sealed pots. Opening one up I set it in front of Apple who gave me a disgusted look, leaning over I grabbed one of the carrots and bit into it. “It's edible, I’ve got nothing fancy”. Looking down Apple neighed and began to eat.

I took this moment to wander off and check my snares. Now I don’t always hope for food to be caught but I did catch a squirrel and was he a fatty. Quickly I gutted and cleaned the squirrel, tucking the skin and usable meat to one side while I removed the brain spinal column and the innards. Standing up with my fresh kill I deposited my trash in my trash pile and carried the meat to my smoke room. It really was another tower that I had partially sealed and had a small sealed oven made of stones that I could seal part of it to capture smoke and hopefully keep the meat. Upon placing the squirrel in I left and set the skin out to dry by the fire, I had already scrapped most of the clinging meat to it off. Apple walked in and gagged, loudly and to my surprise looked really sick. I quickly pushed her out and closed the door.

“Sorry Apple didn’t mean to let you see that, I know you're a herbivore and all”, scratching behind her ear she looked at me disgusted. “Alright Apple do what you want today I’m gonna see if I can find more usable food from the old grounds”

I began to walk off to the gardens when I heard the stampeding of hooves and a loud bang and wood exploding. Yelling, “Are you fucking me? I’m under attack are you kidding me” Running to the main gate I stretch my shoulders and fingers while holding the axe. “Wish I had grabbed a crossbow so maybe I can make it to my tower and get one before they realize I’m here.”

Running back to the courtyard I could see 6 horses bigger than Apple looking around. The main gate had been blown off its hinges and laid ruined on the ground. I quickly slid to a stop and moved behind cover. “Fuck it to the armoury it is then.” Sprinting back I weaved through the hallways and into the armory and grabbed a spare crossbow and bolts I had left there. Thankfully the crossbows didn’t require cranks to cock and I could easily do it before I ran back out. This was my home now and these 6 horses had just destroyed my front gate. Moving upstairs I made my way along part of the wall and peeked over. The 6 horses were still there and were whinnying back and forth, two which were orange and a cyan blue were yelling while a purple one was trying and stepping between them.

Taking this moment I called down, “Who enters Edoras?” They all froze and began to look about for me. I quickly launched a bolt to the left of the orange pony and ran to my next location. I had mapped out in my head when I was rebuilding parts of the castle that I could use as cover to make it seem like there were more people here than just me. KIcking some horse suits of armor off high stairways I hoped to make them think that I had knights marching down. Getting to my next spot I launched an arrow at the purple horse. They all had run out of the courtyard back to the other side of the gate and that is what I wanted. Calling out again in a deeper voice “Leave at once, do not return”. I again moved locations this time down to the courtyard where I reloaded quickly and fired another arrow at this flying cyan horse. Wait flying… Why the fuck did a horse have wings. Oh god, I was in some twisted world where Poseidon actually did make horses fly.

Apple ran out at this moment at the commotion and looked confused and started whinnying loudly. I didn’t steal their offspring did I? Oh god this won’t go well for me then. The same Orange horse charged out and grabbed Apple and ran back out the main gate. Just as the purple pony caused a flash to happen. They had gotten Apple which I presume was their primary objective so maybe I could get them to leave my Castle. Hitting my wounded shoulder I let out a bellow of pure carnage and broke from cover charging with my axe raised high my fur cloak billowing behind me. The 7 ponies now looked at me and were horrified at the sight. They all let out loud neighs quickly turned tail and ran.

Quickly pulling cover behind what was left of the gate frame I grabbed my crossbow again and quickly reloaded and sent one more arrow after them just to be sure. I then manoeuvred my way back up my dirt ramp so I could peek over the battlements as the 6 ponies moved off. Apple was now draped over the Orange one and I hoped I hadn’t hit her.

With the horses over the bridge, I quickly took stock of what happened. There were flying horses and I’m pretty confident the purple one had a horn so unicorns existed. Breathing heavily I slumped against the wall and checked my wound. I hadn’t burst the stitching and there was no blood either so that was good. Taking a few minutes to recover I went and drank deeply from my well. I had been attacked by six horses, six horses that could fly and use magic. Maybe those humans worshipped horses because they could use magic. That makes sense because they had Sol and Luna banners everywhere and if they used them as guards that makes sense for all the armor here. Okay... Okay... we are good now…

“FUUUCCCKKK”, I yelled. “What is this world." I had to fortify more, if these 6 could destroy my gate so easily maybe I needed to strengthen the defences. And that is exactly what I did. It wouldn’t matter if I died of hunger if crazy horses killed me first.

The next 3 days were a blur. I placed weapons around the castle in caches that I could get to easily. I fortified the front gate and started placing stakes on the front side so that no one could charge the wall easily. At night when I couldn’t see I made more bolts from the supplies, I had available. I also began heating and bending some of the parts of the horse armor so I could have a cuirass. It was crude and reminded me of what an ork might wear but it was better than nothing. I also always carried my axe, a sword, and a crossbow with me everywhere. The sword was no bigger than a gladius so easy enough. The crossbow and the axe were annoying but essential to have with me. I refused to be caught off guard again it had cost me my front door. I debated about lining the wall with cloth dummies but decided against it cause it was too cheesy. Around my main tower, I moved all my supplies inside. It was cramped but I didn't dare keep them anywhere else. I was hoping I was making Dorn proud with this rudimentary fortifications.

The final measure was to sleep outside each night and keep multiple fires burning. The goal was to make it seem as if I was many when I was few. Thank Sun Tzu for that tidbit. On the 4th night after the initial attack, I bedded down like every other night and let sleep take me. Knowing full well I would wake up in an hour or two to feed the fires.